


remember me

by babyki



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2019-10-21 08:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 96,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyki/pseuds/babyki
Summary: As an omega, Kihyun has never known freedom. But with help from the alpha Hoseok, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, they can reach it together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this story contains mature content that may be graphic and upsetting for some readers. proceed at your own discretion.

Kihyun sits perched on the edge of a large double bed, facing the door of this small, one-room wooden cabin, watching and waiting for the company he’s expecting, though “company” is not exactly the right word. He’s sitting slightly hunched forward, his hands fisted in the blankets on either side of him, his toes just barely touching the floor, his petite body tight and tense, his eyes focused as he listens for footsteps, for any sign of anyone approaching.

He closes his eyes and listens carefully for a moment, disregarding his other senses and focusing only on the sounds around him, but he can’t hear anything going on outside, not that there would ever be much happening, anyway. Life in the compound has always been uneventful, though right now, Kihyun’s own life is about to change forever.

This is simply the calm before the storm. Any moment now, that old wooden door will creak open, and Kihyun’s fate will be sealed.

Well, not if he can help it. He won’t let anyone decide his fate but himself.

He had always known that this day would come. His entire life, he had been prepared for it, groomed for it ever since he was a young child. But now that the day is actually here, now that he’s actually sitting here, he doesn’t feel prepared at all. Instead, he feels like he’s been thrown out to the wolves and left to fend for himself, alone and defenseless as danger closes in.

He opens his eyes again, his heart pounding hard and fast, almost painful in his chest, because yes, he’s terrified. He’s petrified. But there’s also adrenaline coursing through Kihyun’s veins, hot and thick, the ancient fight or flight instinct to help him survive no matter what, to help him shake off any feelings of doubt or weakness.

Because when you’re someone like Kihyun, when you’re an omega, weakness means death, or a fate worse than death. And Kihyun knows that his resolve and resilience, as always, will be the only weapons he has to fight this battle and survive to live another day.

And so, he remains anxious and vigilant, staring straight ahead at the door as he frowns, his mind blank and focused only on taking in sensory information as he lets any stray thoughts drift inside his head and back out again without a chance to sink in. The blankets are stiff in his hands, the mattress old and uncomfortable, the bedframe creaking loudly every time he shifts his weight. There are no clocks here, and no windows, so he has no idea what time it is, nor how long he’s been waiting here since he was pulled from his bed in the early hours of the morning, thrown in here with nothing but the clothes on his back, and locked up by the elders. But it feels like it’s been hours and hours that he’s been stuck here, waiting, still not moving a single inch from this spot even if his whole body aches with stiffness.

And he hates this, because as always, he’s at the mercy of someone else. That’s just his lot in life whether he likes it or not, and no matter how hard he fights it. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t resent it with every fiber of his being, and it doesn’t mean he won’t fight like hell anyway.

The cabin is small, lit by a few old lamps casting golden light over the walls and dark shadows in the corners. As far as furniture, there’s this one double bed and a few chairs, and for amenities, a little stove and ice box containing sparse rations, and a tiny bathroom off on the other side of the room by the front door. Everything is unembellished wood and rusted cooper, clean but ragged, a place not meant to be lived in long-term, after all, just seven days at a time. And it’s one of several cabins like this in the compound, used only for one purpose and one purpose only.

Mating.

This is a mating cabin. The thought makes Kihyun tense up all over again.

Still, this is a luxury compared to what he’s normally used to, a cramped bunker with all of the other omegas, ten to a room, only given a tiny single bed to call his own. Their feline hybrid community is small, and they don’t have much, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed by Kihyun, or any of the others for that matter, that certain members of their community are given everything even when there’s almost nothing to give, the rest intended to make it on whatever’s left over. They’re supposed to be all in this together, one united community, but the truth is, even hybrids like them can’t escape their underlying humanity, the greed for power and the cruelty of a privileged few imposing their own order on everyone beneath them by force.

There was a point in time, some point far off in the past, hundreds of years before Kihyun was even born, when the true felines and naturally, the feline hybrids, were not pack animals. Felines never had alphas or betas or omegas the way canines did. Felines were always solitary, independent creatures who lived on their own and only looked after themselves for survival.

But then, the end of the world happened, and everything changed.

Centuries ago, a devastating global war left the entire planet in ruins, with very few living creatures surviving the initial fallout. And from the ashes, a community of feline hybrids, the founders of this very compound, had somehow survived. They survived, and they found each other, and together, they formed this community, established a small but remarkably resilient civilization of only a few hundred strong. But boy, were they strong. According to the elders, their humble little compound houses the only remaining creatures left living on Earth.

And in the time that the compound has lasted, in the hundreds of years that it’s evolved, the feline hybrids have evolved along with it, generation to generation slowly forming their own hierarchical social structure to help the leaders maintain order within the community and to help them all survive, a social structure that eventually become so strict, so strong, that it became physical,  _biological_ , written into their DNA. Now, every new hybrid born into the compound has its role to play in their pack, because that’s what they are now, a  _pack_. A pack of fierce, feral cats with nothing to challenge their survival but each other and the harsh world around them.

The compound exists within tall walls surrounding it on all sides, built as a collection of wooden cabins much like this one, each serving its own purpose. The walls around the compound are so tall that they block any view of the outside world, and nobody is ever allowed outside or, if banished beyond the walls by the elders for rule-breaking or other crimes, ever allowed back in. And life may be rough inside these walls, but the world out there, desolate and broken and still burning, is said to be unlivable entirely, and those banished are doomed to perish.

As an omega born into the compound, Kihyun’s situation is especially precarious. He was taken away from his parents when he was born to be raised with the other omegas, and he doesn’t even know if they’re still alive or even still within the compound. He was raised sheltered,  _isolated_  from the rest of the community, the omegas not trained like the betas to work nor like the alphas to lead. Omegas only have one purpose in their community, and that purpose is to birth strong, healthy kittens from a chosen alpha.

That’s why he’s here now.

It’s a system that the elders had developed not long after the founding of the compound, a way to ensure a steady population and the community’s continued survival. Omegas are kept hidden away and untouched by the rest of the community, and when they become viable, shortly after their first heat, they are matched with a mate by random lottery and locked in one of the mating cabins for seven days with the alpha given the objective to impregnate the omega with kittens as quickly and efficiently as possible. And though most of the feline hybrid community are betas, only alphas are chosen for the honor of mating with the omegas, to ensure that the next generation of hybrids will be strong and powerful no matter their rank, able to sustain everything that their community has built all these years.

Soon, the alpha that has been matched with Kihyun will arrive, and if they don’t fulfill their obligation to the compound, the obligation that Kihyun never asked for nor wanted, the alpha will be killed for failing in his duties, and the omega...Kihyun...will be banished beyond the walls to the outside world, a failing omega not even worth the effort and trauma of killing according to the elders. It sounds a terrible fate to most omegas, but Kihyun is not like most omegas. In fact, this is exactly what he wants to happen.

He desires nothing more now than to escape from this place, to escape from the compound entirely, and failing in his omega duties presents the perfect opportunity to be banished, to be  _freed_  from behind the walls of this giant prison. He craves nothing more than to gain his freedom, to finally be able to live his life by his own rules, even if life outside is difficult and short, even if he’s alone at the end. It’s what he’s always wanted, and now, he’s finally ready and able to achieve it. He won’t be like the other omegas, he won’t let some alpha claim him and he won't spend the rest of his life sheltered indoors birthing litter after litter of kittens.

Kihyun will be different; he’ll be a  _person_.

And so, he keeps sitting there, perfectly still, growing increasingly anxious as he waits for the alpha to arrive at the cabin, and as the seconds pass and his time alone steadily runs out, he starts to think about all of the stories he’s heard about alphas over the years. He’s never met one before, has only ever known other omegas and the betas who take care of them, but he’s heard enough to know that there’s plenty of reason for him to be terrified right now.

Alphas as a rule are physically big and strong, and their personalities often match in the worst ways imaginable. And Kihyun, he may be strong and sharp in his own way, but even he with all of his pride and defiance knows he can’t hope to take on an alpha, not if it comes to a physical struggle.

He swallows nervously, his mouth feeling suddenly dry as cold fear trickles like ice through his belly, because he can only hope that he’ll be able to outsmart and to fend off the alpha he’ll be spending the next seven days with long enough for them to fail the mating. He figures with the cabin lacking windows or clocks, it will be easy to lose track of time, and if he can just keep the alpha distracted or otherwise prevented from performing his duties, then maybe, just maybe, he can pull this off.

And yes, whatever unlucky alpha gets matched with Kihyun already has a death sentence awaiting him. He’ll be killed by the elders for failing to impregnate Kihyun, and though gentle-hearted Kihyun feels terribly guilty about it, he can’t say he won’t do anything to achieve his freedom at this point, even if it means sacrificing someone else. Yes, he knows he must harden his heart, steel his resolve if he’s to escape from here. That’s just the hand he’s been dealt and the harsh reality of his situation.

And besides, if the stories he’s heard are even half-true, the alphas don’t deserve his sympathy anyway.

Kihyun’s tail swishes back and forth behind him, soft and chocolate-brown like his hair and his eyes and his furry feline ears. He has a habit of twitching his pink feline nose when he’s deep in thought, twitching his nose and growling very softly, very low deep in his chest, almost like he’s humming. His whiskers are picking up on every little change in the air around him, the interior of this cabin on the warmer side, warm and dry and slightly stuffy, and it would almost be cozy if the situation weren’t so terrible. And still, Kihyun waits. He waits, and waits, and waits.

And finally, when he wonders if he’s drifted off and is only dreaming of still sitting here, something happens.

A brand-new scent enters his nose, one that he immediately recognizes and identifies despite never having smelled it before. It’s his omega instincts, his biological drive to mate overriding his own personal, human refusal. The scent makes him feel warm and loose inside as he breathes it in, leaves him aching with some strange, intense,  _primal_  desire low in his belly. And the closer the scent gets, the more amazing it smells.

It’s an alpha, the alpha that’s been sent for him, and he smells like soft, sugary vanilla.

Kihyun’s eyes widen in surprise as he takes in the scent deeper, his lips parting slightly as he tastes it on the back of his tongue. There’s a musky undercurrent to it, strong and robust, but he had never expected that an alpha would smell  _this_  good.

Despite himself, he blushes.

Even with suppressants still in his system, the alpha’s scent is causing an intense physical reaction, and Kihyun understands now why the alphas and the omegas have always been kept apart. He also understands now that this is going to be a lot more difficult than he anticipated.

Slightly panicked, he shakes his head a few times to clear away the sudden onset of wooziness before training his eyes back to the door, determined not to let his biology betray him. He’s a feline, but he’s also a person, and his humanity is what’s helped him, has helped all of them to make it this far. Still, no matter how hard he tries to ignore it, the scent of vanilla won’t leave his nose, and he’s finding it harder and harder to focus on anything else.

And now, he can hear footsteps. He hears the soft murmur of voices, and he knows that it’s the elders accompanying the alpha, alphas given the luxury of being taken here rather than  _dragged_  here like omegas are. Kihyun frowns, and then, all too suddenly, the door is opening, and Kihyun waits, holding his breath for his first glimpse of the alpha he’ll be spending the next seven days with.

The alpha finally steps inside, enters the mating cabin for the first time, and the first thing that Kihyun notices about him is that he’s extraordinarily handsome, with beautiful facial features and full, plump lips. The two of them lock eyes almost immediately, and the alpha’s eyes are deep and rich, framed by long, dark eyelashes. The alpha’s skin is so pale that it’s almost white, his feline nose deep black in contrast and his hair a dark, sandy blonde that hangs down in his eyes, his blonde feline ears fluffier and a bit larger than Kihyun’s, and while Kihyun’s own tail is smooth and thin with short, velvety fur, the alpha’s tail is thick and fluffy, sand-colored to match his hair and his feline ears.

He’s beautiful, stunning, even, and Kihyun’s mind has gone blank. For a moment, he even forgets all about his plans to escape from here to the world beyond. Kihyun breaks eye contact with the alpha and looks him up and down, his mouth going dry and his face heating up.

Besides his handsome face, the alpha has an amazing, spectacular body. Like all alphas, he’s well-built, wide and muscular with big shoulders and thick thighs and huge biceps, his chest broad and his stomach toned; Kihyun can see the outlines of his chest and his abs through the white t-shirt he’s wearing stretched tight, straining against his torso. Kihyun swallows; he’s swimming in his own white t-shirt, the white t-shirt and blue jeans that everyone in the compound wears for ease of washing and keeping clean. And Kihyun feels even smaller, even more petite than usual in comparison to this beautiful alpha.

At the same time, his basest instincts go wild with lewd thoughts hitting him one after another in flashes, held back only by the suppressants that will stay in his system for another few hours until his next dose, which he’ll continue to take until a few hours before it’s time to mate. And it’s thanks only to the suppressants that he’s able to wave away the lewd thoughts before any of them can even fully form in his mind, leaving him only with a warmth to his cheeks, a thick breathlessness, and a strange, sticky kind of burn low in his belly. And that damned vanilla is everywhere now, swimming around his mind and clouding all of his senses.

Kihyun focuses on thinking about why he’s here, what he’s doing, exercises all of his restraint to stay true to his resolve. After all, any feelings he’s having about this alpha are really just his stupid omega instincts acting up, just biological reactions that he has no control over. So what if the alpha is handsome? All alphas are, and he won’t give in to this, because this isn’t real. It’s just his own body working against him, and it doesn’t matter who the alpha is, he’s still an alpha, and Kihyun still wants no part in any of this.

There’s a long, awkward silence between them as neither of them move or say anything or even breathe, and then as their eyes lock again and they stare at each other, Kihyun realizes that the alpha was checking him out, too, and Kihyun doesn’t know much about alpha suppressants, but they can’t be much better than the omega ones, because the alpha has a slight blush to his face, soft pink splashed across his pale cheeks.

Kihyun almost smirks. He’s been told that he’s an exceptionally beautiful omega, though he’s never quite felt pride in it like he does at this moment. Kihyun wonders what he smells like, too, wonders if the alpha’s nose and mouth are filled with his own scent the way Kihyun’s nose and mouth are saturated with the alpha’s.

The alpha takes a deep breath and finally takes a step forward towards Kihyun, cautious and slow, and though Kihyun’s legs tremble, his body instinctively submissive to the presence of an alpha, he doesn’t move, just continues to sit there gripping the blankets hard as they stare at each other. The alpha stops, and he doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands; he reaches up to rub one of his biceps and he looks at Kihyun apologetically.

It’s then that Kihyun hears him speak for the first time, his voice washing over Kihyun in waves and swaddling him like a thick blanket.

“Hello,” the alpha says, giving Kihyun a gentle smile that stirs Kihyun’s heart. “I’m Hoseok. I’m your...your...”

“My alpha,” Kihyun finishes, and even saying it has him feeling something. And he can already tell by Hoseok’s reaction to his own voice, Hoseok’s eyes going soft, that this alpha won’t be like the aggressive monsters that he’s heard so many horror stories about, and for that, he feels at least some momentary relief.

“Yes,” the alpha says, and he really is very handsome. Handsome and kind. Kihyun supposes that maybe, maybe in another lifetime, back when even hybrids were free to fall in love of their own choice, he wouldn’t have said no to a date with Hoseok, no pressure, no expectations or obligations. Just two people spending time together, letting the chips fall where they may and connecting at their own pace. He had read books about that old custom, and he thinks it would have been nice.

Still, Hoseok seems sweet, but he’s being forced to be here just like Kihyun is. As Kihyun takes in more of his sugary pheromones, he thinks that he probably got very lucky. Hoseok doesn’t seem the type to initiate anything, doesn’t seem the aggressive type, and so Kihyun’s escape will probably be much easier than he anticipated. This alpha may look threatening at first glance, but Kihyun feels like he can already understand Hoseok’s heart. And it’s a soft, gentle heart, much like his own, and, also much like his own, a deep, heavily-guarded heart.

“I’m Kihyun,” Kihyun says, finally, and he’s surprised at the softness to his own voice. Unlike Hoseok, Kihyun doesn’t say “your omega,” because as nice as Hoseok is, Kihyun doesn’t belong to anyone but himself.

The alpha smiles again, this time his eyes lighting up at Kihyun's name, and Kihyun goes a little breathless as those eyes seem to look right through him.

“Kihyun,” the alpha murmurs, and it sounds melodic coming from his deep rumble of a voice. “I like it.”

There’s a long moment of silence, but unlike before, this time it’s not awkward at all. It feels...nice.

And Kihyun may not be ready to mate with someone so soon after meeting them, but he can admit that he likes him. He likes Hoseok.

Hoseok blushes a little again, lets out a breathy little laugh, and Kihyun blushes too. He feels comfortable, relaxed and at peace despite everything, despite this insane situation, these less-than-ideal circumstances. That is, until Hoseok speaks again.

“It’s already evening,” Hoseok says. “I’m sorry that I’m so late, but the elders who escorted me and made all the arrangements were held up in a town meeting and...”

Kihyun’s mind wanders then, and he stops listening as Hoseok rambles, zeroing in on the fact that one day out of seven is already nearly over. He’s one day closer to freedom, if he can just make it for the rest of the week without anything happening between him and Hoseok.

Hoseok.

It’s at that moment that Kihyun remembers the catch to all of this. If he goes through with his plan and sabotages their mating, Hoseok will be killed for failing in his alpha duties.

Kihyun looks at Hoseok as Hoseok keeps talking, nervously babbling and looking away to some spot on the floor, and Kihyun may have only just met him, but he can tell that Hoseok is a good person, and Kihyun doesn’t want him to die. Kihyun is a truly gentle heart, when it all comes down to it. Saying that you’re willing to do anything, that you’re willing to sacrifice someone else, is one thing, and actually going through with it is something else entirely, something that Kihyun doesn’t think he could live with.

Kihyun takes a deep breath; he supposes he’ll just have to figure out a way to help Hoseok, too. They’ll both have to escape, because if Hoseok fails to impregnate Kihyun, there’s no way the elders will allow him to live. And even if by some miracle they did allow Hoseok to continuing living in the compound, Kihyun knows from his studies all about the danger of failure amongst the alphas. He knows that even if the elders can overlook Hoseok’s failure, the other alphas won’t. They’ll slaughter him as a display of alpha power and dominance, because alphas are not allowed to show weakness, not allowed to fail, especially not to an omega.

Kihyun thinks, then, that this may be a blessing in disguise. Heck, if the two of them work together, it may make the escape even easier to prepare and pull off. There’s a big difference between escaping and being banished, and Kihyun could sure use Hoseok’s muscles and alpha strength if he’s to break free from the compound and survive out beyond the walls. He looks at Hoseok again and wonders if he can convince Hoseok to join him in escaping. Kihyun has nothing to lose and everything to gain by leaving the compound, but who knows if Hoseok will want to join him. For all Kihyun knows, he’s completely misread everything since Hoseok walked through the door.

It’s a few short moments later before Kihyun realizes that Hoseok has gone silent and is back to staring at him, waiting for Kihyun to respond, and so Kihyun puts on an exaggerated, glowing smile, his heart thumping at the cute look of surprise that Hoseok gives him in return.

“Sorry,” Kihyun says, making sure to widen his eyes to emphasize his natural cuteness and appeal to Hoseok’s alpha instincts. “I got lost in thought for a moment. Are you hungry?”

If it is indeed already nighttime, then that means that they need to do something about dinner, and it’s only at that moment that Kihyun realizes how hungry he actually is himself. He hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday, too nervous about being locked in the mating cabin to attend to any of his usual meals. He wonders if Hoseok was nervous too, and unable to eat or sleep at the thought of what was coming. Though then again, for alphas, the mating cabin is an honor, not at all the horror it is to omegas.

“I...” Hoseok starts, hesitating, and Kihyun takes that as a yes. He finally stands up from the bed, his feet hitting the floor with a soft thump, and he takes a step forward towards Hoseok, Kihyun’s tail happily raised behind him, his feline ears perked up and focused forward, and it’s then that his biology kicks in once more.

Hoseok’s smell stirs parts of Kihyun’s body all over, making the blush deepen on his cheeks as he’s overcome with a pleasant dizziness like being drunk. Hoseok seems to feel something similar, because when Kihyun steps towards him, Hoseok’s eyes go half-lidded, his feline ears moving forward and his own tail coming up. Kihyun had gotten up and stepped towards him with the intention of politely shaking Hoseok’s hand and bowing, but he suddenly feels shy so close in Hoseok’s presence, and despite himself, he looks down at the wooden floor, playing with his hands for a few moments as his tail flicks behind him. His heart is suddenly beating very hard and fast again.

“I could cook for us with whatever’s here,” Kihyun says, voice quiet. “Betas always did the cooking for us omegas, naturally, but I took a personal interest and learned from one of my caretakers. I know the basics.”

Hoseok smiles wide, and Kihyun is liking him more and more with each passing moment. “Yes,” Hoseok says, fondly. “That would be nice.” Hoseok goes to sit on the bed, immediately staring down at the blankets and picking at a loose thread while Kihyun turns away from him and heads to the little stove to begin cooking.

There are some decent ingredients from the rations in the ice box and in a small cabinet above the stove. It’s not much, but Kihyun thinks he can pull off something nice, and eating something hot will help them both to relax a bit more, he hopes. And when they’re relaxed, maybe he’ll be able to work up the courage to start talking with Hoseok about his plans to escape.

He’s definitely not going to stay in the compound, and he’s definitely not going through with this ritual or even going to accept living behind these walls anymore, that he knows for certain. And he can’t leave Hoseok here to die, either. He looks over at him, and Hoseok is looking down at his lap, his hands on his muscular thighs, and he looks just as deep in thought as Kihyun is. Kihyun can’t help but smile softly, wondering what he’s thinking about. The vanilla fills Kihyun’s nose even now, and even in just the short time they’ve been in each other’s presence, Kihyun is starting to find it a soothing scent, comforting. It smells like safety, like reassurance, like protection.

Kihyun keeps smiling as he turns back to the stove and switches his focus to the task at hand. And as Kihyun lights the stove and begins to prepare their meal, he gets lost in a pleasant mindlessness, the cooking giving him a chance to think about something else, something simple and innocent for a little while.

When Kihyun is finished, he makes a gentle noise to get Hoseok’s attention and nods his head in the direction of the two chairs off in the corner, and they go to sit together facing each other, warm bowls nestled in their laps as they eat in silence. But now, the silence doesn’t feel quite so oppressive as before, though it’s still the slightest bit awkward. Neither of them really knows what to say to each other. What does one even say in this circumstance? What does one say to someone whom they’ve just met, but with whom they’re expected to...

Kihyun looks at Hoseok again, at his big muscles and his beautiful face, and he blushes deeply at the thought of what they’re supposed to while they’re here, his feline nose twitching and his tail flicking about as his face grows hot. The thought of mating, and mating with Hoseok...it seems scandalous. As if feeling Kihyun’s eyes on him, Hoseok looks up from his meal and suddenly starts speaking.

“I know this must be so scary for you,” Hoseok says kindly. “I’m sorry you have to be in this situation.”

Kihyun doesn’t say anything in response, but his nose twitches again as he takes in the look in Hoseok’s eyes. It’s a look of sincerity, of earnestness. Hoseok breaks eye contact and returns his gaze to the floor, his fluffy tail swaying slowly back and forth.

The silence following hangs in the air, neither of them sure what to say. From that moment on, they continue eating without talking, and Kihyun watches Hoseok the entire time, quickly looking away whenever Hoseok looks at him. And he smiles to himself, because he knows that Hoseok is doing the same thing, too. They’re dancing around each other, like the shy teenagers in all of the books that Kihyun has read about love stories of the past.

Kihyun had never imagined an alpha to be like this, so kind and sweet, and Kihyun wonders if he meets Hoseok’s own expectations, because Hoseok has never met an omega either. Kihyun looks up at him again and they make eye contact, and Kihyun feels the beginnings of affection bloom inside of him. He thinks that no matter what happens, he would like to be Hoseok’s friend, and he could really use a friend after being alone for most of his life.

“What do I smell like to you?” Kihyun suddenly asks, giving in to his curiosity.

Hoseok’s eyes take on a deep softness, shining with warmth. He pauses, smiles gently before he answers.

“You smell like melted chocolate,” Hoseok says. “And if I’m being honest, it’s the only thing I’ve been able to think about since I walked through the door.”

Kihyun grins. “Really?” he asks.

Hoseok nods. “What about me?”

Kihyun lets out an amused little chuckle. “To me,” he says, “you smell like vanilla. Like pure sugar.”

This time, Hoseok grins. “We’re a perfect match, then,” he says. “Vanilla and chocolate.”

Kihyun smiles again and they return to silence, return to looking down at the floor as they finish their dinner. At that point, there isn’t much else left for them to do except to go to sleep for the night, and Kihyun’s mind wanders aimlessly as the two of them take turns using the tiny bathroom to wash up, brush their teeth, and prepare for bed, each of them taking another dose of suppressants to get them through the night without incident.

It’s then that Kihyun suddenly realizes an entirely new problem that he had overlooked up until this very moment.

The bed. There’s only one bed in this room and it’s meant for them to share. And an alpha and omega in one bed together...not even their suppressants will be able to help them if they’re in such close contact for such a long period of time. It will be quite difficult indeed to fight against their natural urges; that, of course, is the entire point of it, of the entire mating cabin as a whole. And the shared bed is meant to facilitate physical contact between two strangers; it’s why most omegas and alphas succeed in mating on their first night in the cabins.

But in this situation, for someone like Kihyun and someone like Hoseok, it’s a huge problem.

Kihyun starts to panic then, his throat going dry and his tail flicking back and forth over and over again. He just stands there by the bed staring down at the blanket, getting lost in the faded navy color like he’s drifted out to open sea and is drowning.

Hoseok must sense what Kihyun is thinking, because when he comes out of the bathroom and sees Kihyun staring terrified at the blankets, he immediately says, “You can take the bed tonight. I can sleep on the floor.”

Kihyun turns to look at him, his ears twitching and his eyes going wide. “What?” Kihyun says, “No, you don’t have to do that. I just—”

“It’s alright, really,” Hoseok says, smiling that beautiful gentle smile of his again that makes Kihyun feel like everything will be alright. “I’m used to it. And I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

At that, Kihyun frowns, confused. “What do you—”

But Hoseok is already taking a pillow from the bed and dropping it down onto the hard, wooden floor, and Kihyun feels his face warming up again at the chivalrous gesture. As an omega, he’s not used to this sort of thing at all, this sort of kindness and consideration. “You really, really don’t have to,” Kihyun says quickly. “Really, I insist, and—”

“I promise, I’ll be just fine,” Hoseok says, moving to sit down on the wooden floor before lying on his side, head on the pillow. “Get a good rest, okay?” He smiles again, and he looks at Kihyun for a long, long time, like he’s studying him. Kihyun swallows, his tail flicking behind him again.

“Goodnight, Kihyun,” Hoseok finally says.

And with that, he rolls over onto his other side, facing away from Kihyun and the bed, his fluffy tail curling up with his legs, and Kihyun is frozen in place for a moment, perplexed.

Kihyun finishes preparing for bed and by the time he pulls back the covers and gets in, the bedframe creaking loudly like it’ll break even from Kihyun’s tiny weight, Hoseok is already asleep and snoring softly, his feline ears and tail perfectly still as he dreams. Kihyun watches him for a few seconds before reaching to switch off the lamp by the bed, bathing the windowless cabin in complete darkness, pitch-black even for his feline eyes. He then lays back, resting his head on the pillow, and stares up at the ceiling.

Tomorrow, he’ll tell Hoseok the truth, he’ll tell Hoseok all about his plans. And somehow, he already knows that Hoseok will help him. Even knowing next to nothing about him, Kihyun can already tell that he and Hoseok are kindred spirits; he can feel it deep in his bones, as natural and instinctual and undeniable as every one of his omega instincts. And with the two of them having six days together to come up with a plan, Kihyun really feels like they might be able to pull this off, and after an entire life of being trapped, Kihyun will finally be able to experience freedom.

What he can’t tell, however, and what leaves him feeling anxious, is whether this feeling that he’s feeling about Hoseok, this warmth and fondness for him already so soon after meeting...he doesn’t know if it’s real, or if it’s simply because he’s made this way, made to feel attraction to Hoseok as an omega to an alpha, not as a person to a person.

Kihyun drifts off to sleep, and though he doesn’t remember it upon waking, his last thought is that he’s sure, with the entirety of his being, that it’s the latter.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kihyun awakens the next morning, or what he assumes to be morning, he opens his eyes, and for the first few seconds, he thinks that he’s still asleep, still dreaming, because as he slowly sits up in bed and looks out at the room around him, the blankets and sheets pooling around his hips, his body loose and warm with sleep and his head feeling all gooey, he blinks, and the first thing that he sees is Hoseok coming out of the bathroom, fresh from the shower.

Naked.

Completely naked.

Kihyun blinks in surprise, the world quickly coming into focus, until he can be sure that what he’s seeing is real and not just spillover from the heated dreams about Hoseok that he may or may not have had all throughout the night, no thanks at all to his so-called suppressants. But it’s all real, there’s no doubt about it.

As the fog clears from Kihyun’s mind, and as thick steam spills out from the bathroom, Kihyun can suddenly see everything in crystal-clear detail, like he’s never been more awake in his entire life than at this very moment, like his mind is hyper-attuned and hyper-focused on Hoseok’s body and nothing else, Hoseok’s rich vanilla scent even stronger, more tantalizing than before. Kihyun feels like he wants that smell all over him and inside of him, like he wants to bathe in it, to be bathed in it, to  _drown_  in it.

Goosebumps rise on Kihyun’s arms and legs, still bare and warm from going to bed last night in only his large white t-shirt and nothing else, and arousal stirs low in his belly, hot and intense and coiled tight, making him feel like he needs to moan out loud for sweet relief, urging him to roll over and expose his entrance, his instincts screaming to just let Hoseok  _take_  him already.

And yes, while Kihyun is only half-naked, Hoseok is baring all, as naked as the day he was born, his white skin glowing, slightly flushed around his chest and his cheeks from the heat of his piping-hot shower. Hoseok’s feline ears twitch, his tail soaked, and he swishes it back and forth in an effort to shake off as much excess water as possible. His skin is still damp, droplets of moisture clinging to all of the sculpted planes of muscle in his chest, in his torso, and around his arms, and thin lines of water glisten as they travel down his stomach and thighs and drip onto the floor in slow, teasing trails that make Kihyun want to lick them right off of Hoseok’s body, Kihyun’s lips parting as his eyes go half-lidded.

And Kihyun is frozen in place, stunned, his omega desires bursting louder and hotter inside of him as he’s washed in it, in one overwhelming, singular feeling, as his eyes greedily travel up and down Hoseok’s smooth, wet, naked skin, stopping only when they reach his enormous—

At that, Kihyun lets out an involuntary, whimpering moan of a noise, loud and absolutely humiliating, and Hoseok finally notices him, the two of them immediately locking eyes. Both of them blush furiously, faces coloring red in an instant, Hoseok’s eyes going wide in shock and Kihyun quickly pulling the blankets up over his face as fast as he can.

“I’m sorry!” Kihyun yelps and his cheeks feel like they’re on fire, his feline ears pressing down flat on his head out of embarrassment. He can’t believe how obvious, how shameless he just was, it’s so unlike him. “I really didn’t see anything!”

He doesn’t move, stays completely still for a few long seconds, until he feels brave enough to take a peek, timidly lowering the blankets, and when he does, he sees that Hoseok is still standing there, frozen in shock like a deer in headlights. Still very much completely naked. And Kihyun can’t help himself; he takes another glance  _down there_ , his eyes going wide as he gets a long, uninterrupted look, Kihyun’s face going even redder, and they both suddenly yell at the same time, Kihyun quickly pulling the blankets up over his face again.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Kihyun exclaims frantically. “Please put some clothes on!”

He gives Hoseok plenty of time, several long moments to grab his t-shirt and jeans, Kihyun’s heart beating fast and hard and his blood rushing through his veins, pulsing with a still-cooling adrenaline. When Kihyun lowers the blankets a second time, his feline ears perking up as he peeks over his hands with one eye closed, Hoseok has his jeans on, thank goodness, and he’s in the middle of pulling on his t-shirt with nervous, shaking hands and a bright red face, the fabric of the shirt sticking obscenely, like something out of one of Kihyun’s dreams, to his still-damp skin as he tugs it down over his stomach. The t-shirt is so tight and almost completely see-through from the water, that it might as well be like he’s not wearing it at all, and Kihyun’s face won’t stop burning, his heart won’t stop pounding, and he feels like there’s smoke coming out of his ears as he watches the way Hoseok’s muscles in his chest and stomach move beneath the shirt, how the short sleeves hug his biceps even tighter than they had before.

“I’m really sorry,” Hoseok says, suddenly, apologetically, not making eye contact, his ears moving around nervously and his fluffy tail drooped behind him. “I thought you were still asleep, and there aren’t any towels in there, so I just...”

“It’s fine,” Kihyun murmurs as Hoseok trails off to silence, Kihyun looking down as he lowers the blankets and stares deep into the navy-blue fabric once again like it holds all of the answers in the universe. “I should’ve closed my eyes right away. I was just so surprised.” And for some reason, Kihyun smiles, then, a certain witticism flickering into his mind, and he can’t believe the next thing that comes out of his mouth.

“You’re really handsome,” Kihyun says, “so it was kind of impossible to look away.” And since when was Kihyun this cheeky? Hoseok is drawing out this side to him that he never knew he had, and having the thought is one thing, but Kihyun’s really not sure why he just admitted that out loud. He can only guess that it’s his omega biology lowering his inhibitions in front of an alpha, and his human rationality making some attempt at humor to lighten the mood. Why else would he ever be so embarrassingly honest, right?

Kihyun shyly looks up at Hoseok and he’s surprised to see that Hoseok is smiling, obviously amused, his tail up again behind him, swaying happily as he continues to fidget with the hemline of his t-shirt, tugging it down as much as he can even when it stubbornly sticks to his wet chest and abs tight like it’s painted right onto his skin. Kihyun feels like he might lose his mind entirely if he keeps staring, and so he looks down again, plays with his hands in his lap and thinks only about vanilla.

There’s a long moment of silence, and then, Hoseok makes a deep noise in his chest that gets Kihyun’s attention, almost like a feline version of an amused chuckle. Kihyun looks up and at Hoseok’s face and they lock eyes, Hoseok smiling wide, his eyes turned to happy, adorable crescents that Kihyun is seeing for the very first time.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the free show,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun grins wide.

The two of them smile at each other for a long time, all of the tension and embarrassment gradually evaporating like the steam from the bathroom, and little by little, Kihyun feels at ease, comfortable again. He supposes Hoseok is just that type of person, easygoing, easy to talk to, and Kihyun’s not sure what’s suddenly come over him, but he’s never had someone be so nice to him, and he’s saying questionable things again before he can even think to stop himself.

“If it would even the playing field,” Kihyun pipes up, “I could give you a free show, too. Just a quick look.” And he blushes again, the implication of his words catching up with him. “You know, if we’re both humiliated, it will all cancel out, right?”

He laughs, face burning bright. And he really can’t believe himself. Is he actually... _flirting_  with Hoseok? He’s only read about it in books, but if the butterflies in his stomach and the rapid beat of his heart, the warmth to his cheeks and the lightness to his voice tell him anything, well, he’s really stepping out of his comfort zone and feeling strangely good about it.

Hoseok laughs, then, the sound soothing and warm, soft pink coloring his cheeks to replace the steaming, horrified red. “That won’t be necessary,” he says. And then, he finally looks away from Kihyun entirely, gaze dropping down somewhere on the floor as he reaches up to rub one of his biceps. It’s something that Kihyun has noticed him do a few times now, and must be a nervous habit of his, though it makes Kihyun nervous for completely different reasons. Hoseok’s tail swishes slowly as he speaks again.

“Why don’t I make us some coffee?” Hoseok asks. “And you can shower and wake up properly. And then, maybe we can...”

“Talk about things?” Kihyun suggests, and Hoseok looks at him again and nods, suddenly solemn. Kihyun is glad to see that Hoseok seems to have understood without Kihyun ever explictily saying so that there’s a dire need for them to...talk about things.

And Kihyun needs a moment before he can move, his face still stiff and hot and red and his body not quite caught up with his fast-moving mind. “Yes,” he says, finally. “I have a lot that I want to talk to you about.”

Hoseok looks at Kihyun with curiosity as Kihyun sits up fully and pushes the covers off of his smooth, bare legs, then reaches his arms up above his head to stretch. It doesn’t go unnoticed to him how Hoseok blushes and quickly looks away, opening and hiding behind the door to the ice box when Kihyun’s t-shirt rides up on one side to reveal part of his belly and as Kihyun lets out a loud moan as he stretches, Kihyun’s eyes naturally going half-lidded and his ears flattening slightly. Kihyun smirks, amused, happy to know that he’s not the only one struggling.

His velvety tail darts around back and forth behind him as Kihyun makes sure to get out of bed and into the bathroom as quickly as possible, thankful that the t-shirt falls past his thighs and covers everything well enough. Flirting or not, Kihyun thinks that they’d probably both die of embarrassment if Kihyun was exposed right now too.

As Kihyun showers, unwinds his tightly-coiled body under the stream of wonderfully-hot water, he finds himself once again lost in thought, wondering how best to approach the topic of his plans to escape from the compound. He figures, as with most things, it would be wisest to just be straightforward, that he has no intention of going through with the mating, and that he plans to use this precious unsupervised time out from under the constant surveillance of the elders to make preparations and to come up with a plan to escape once they’re released from here in six days.

And Kihyun is not sure why, exactly, but he doesn’t feel all that nervous about it as he thought he would, certainly not as nervous about it as he should be given that Hoseok is still basically a stranger and he has no idea, really, how Hoseok will react to all of this. But then again, Kihyun has this strong hunch, like he just knows that Hoseok will take it well. Not only that he’ll take it well, but, Kihyun thinks that Hoseok will want to join him, and then Kihyun won’t have to worry about leaving Hoseok behind to die because he won’t be leaving Hoseok behind at all.

They’ve only known each other for some hours, yes, but Hoseok is just so different from everything that Kihyun was expecting, from everything that Kihyun has heard and been conditioned to expect his entire life about the alphas. He’s never heard of an alpha so gentle, so kind, who didn’t abuse his dominant biology and strength to bend others to his will and who didn’t immediately jump on the chance to mate as soon as it was handed to him, whether the omega was willing or not.

And when it comes down to it, Hoseok, like Kihyun, doesn’t seem happy living in the compound either. Kihyun can tell because he can see the same sadness, the same emptiness and the same desperate yearning in Hoseok’s eyes that he often sees in his own, and that alone will be enough for them to understand each other, to trust each other that they both want the same thing. Freedom.

It’s a lot to guess, a lot to assume about somebody whom he’s just met, but Kihyun just  _knows_  these things about Hoseok and has no way to explain why. It’s like instinct, like intuition, and Kihyun may not always be fond of his omega biology, his nature, but he does always trust it to tell him the truth, and he trusts that it will never, ever lie to him.

And it doesn’t matter much, anyway, because as the hot water beats down on him and turns his skin a soft, healthy pink, Kihyun gets distracted by other, more pressing matters. The thing is, the more he tries to unravel and untangle his chaotic, complicated feelings, the more he tries to figure out exactly what it is that he’s feeling about Hoseok, the more he can't stop thinking about how Hoseok was standing in this exact spot just moments before, wet and naked just as Kihyun is now. And Kihyun can still smell his vanilla.

Kihyun realizes then that it must be time for him to take his suppressants soon, because his body is starting to react to the thought and the smell of Hoseok in very embarrassing places, one place in particular that’s quickly growing wet and slick,  _aching_  to be penetrated and filled. And as if it’s not humiliating enough to admit that to himself, he thinks he’d be mortified if he actually started... _leaking_  from his entrance right now, his omega body well-equipped to handle a sudden onset of urges, both his or an alpha’s.

But of course, as embarrassing as it is, it’s just his body. It’s natural, it’s unavoidable, but it’s also controllable. And Kihyun takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as he assures himself that he’ll take his suppressants in a moment and it’ll all be fine like always.

He finishes in the shower, avoids breathing through his nose in attempt to cut back on the vanilla’s impact on him (though even then, he can still taste it in the back of his throat), and he does his best to shake off as much of the water as he can so that he doesn’t drip everywhere. Hoseok was right; there are no towels here, and Kihyun wonders what they were expected to use to dry off when they were locked here with nothing of their own. There had been toothbrushes and toothpaste and even food stocked here when they arrived, why not towels?

He thinks for a moment, and then he understands. The elders want to discourage showering, to make it as uncomfortable as possible, because they want the alpha and the omega to  _groom_  each other to get clean. Kihyun blushes at the thought of grooming Hoseok, at the thought of Hoseok grooming him. Grooming is a deeply intimate act that only mated couples do.

Kihyun shakes the thought away and opens the bathroom door, immediately smelling coffee mixed with Hoseok’s vanilla, the scent perking him up, Kihyun’s ears tilting forward, his tail happily lifting up behind him. He managed to get his t-shirt and jeans back on, slightly uncomfortable and sticking to his still-damp skin, and Hoseok must have been just as uncomfortable as he looked in that wet t-shirt from before, because now, he’s gone topless. His back is to Kihyun and he’s making coffee from the little pot on the stove, but his shirt is gone, his bare back on full display and his fluffy tail, now dry and soft, swaying relaxed and slow behind him as he works.

Kihyun stares for a few long seconds, at the gorgeous, sculpted muscles in Hoseok’s back and the planes of his broad shoulders. Hoseok is so big and wide and strong, and Kihyun can admit that regardless of their situation, he does find Hoseok very attractive. He can also admit that, regardless of his body wanting something else entirely, he needs his suppressants right the fuck now.

Kihyun slips back into the bathroom and grabs for his pills, making sure to take an extra dose, twitching his nose in discomfort as he swallows them down without bothering to use water. Hoseok must have already taken his own suppressants while Kihyun was still asleep, otherwise it would have been difficult for Hoseok to resist an omega sleeping defenseless in the same room, and half-naked, no less. That’s how alphas are, after all, and Hoseok would’ve had every excuse to take advantage of Kihyun and nobody in the compound would have thought anything about it. But Hoseok had done the right thing, and Kihyun is glad, once again, that he was lucky enough to be matched with him.

When Kihyun finishes in the bathroom and goes back out, Hoseok is already finished making the coffee, pouring it into two mugs from the pantry. Kihyun hadn’t seen any cream or sugar when he had been cooking last night, so it’ll have to be black coffee, but Kihyun supposes that it’s better than nothing. He has no way of knowing for sure what time it is, only has his internal clock telling him that it’s early in the morning, no later than six or seven. As Hoseok cleans up, Kihyun tries desperately not to stare at his naked back, instead busies himself with pulling some spare blankets out from under the bed and forming some makeshift cushions for them in the middle of the floor to sit on instead of the uncomfortable wooden chairs from last night.

Soon, they’re both sitting down, facing each other but not making eye contact, suddenly all shy again. Kihyun gets a nice, close-up view of Hoseok’s naked chest and stomach like this, and it takes him a few long moments to tear his gaze away and reach for his coffee. It’s hot, and brutally bitter, but it feels good warming up his chest and it wakes him up well, the bitter taste a welcome distraction from the overwhelming vanilla, which Kihyun swears is getting stronger and stronger the more time that he spends with Hoseok.

To Kihyun’s surprise, Hoseok is the one who finally breaks the silence. “So...” he starts, looking down into his lap, his ears facing forward as his tails drags back and forth along the wooden floor behind him. He sits with his legs crossed, slightly hunched over, while Kihyun sits curled up in a little ball, his arms hugging his legs, an instinctively defensive position.

“Hoseok,” Kihyun starts, and Hoseok looks up, and despite how he had planned this all out already, planned out exactly what he was going to say, it’s suddenly much more difficult than he had anticipated. It’s because of the way that Hoseok is looking at him, like he’s seeing right through him. But then again, it’s the first time that anyone has ever really  _looked_  at Kihyun, interested in what he had to say, and maybe that’s why it’s so shocking. Kihyun doesn’t know how to react to being looked at like that, like a person instead of just an omega. He pauses for a moment before he continues, looking right back into Hoseok’s eyes.

“I’m going to be honest with you,” Kihyun says, and it’s like Hoseok is helping him along, guiding him, because as they look at each other, Kihyun feels more and more at ease, like no matter what he says, Hoseok will understand. Kihyun pauses again and collects himself, and Hoseok gives him a gentle, encouraging nod.

Kihyun sighs. “I have no intention of going through with this,” he says, and it’s such a relief to have it out in the open now. No matter what happens next, Kihyun can’t say he didn’t try. But Kihyun has a feeling, this certain feeling about Hoseok, that tells him that he can trust him.

Hoseok doesn’t respond or react, just blinks and looks at Kihyun with a serious expression. He’s thinking, processing, and Kihyun takes it as a cue to continue.

“I can’t live like this anymore,” Kihyun says. “I can’t stay here.” He looks down, then, because he can no longer take the intensity of Hoseok’s gaze. Is this what it feels like to be treated as more than your rank, to have someone actually care about what you have to say? Kihyun’s ears flatten slightly as he curls forward, his tail curling up on the floor with him.

“All I want now is to leave this place,” Kihyun says. He looks up at Hoseok again, at Hoseok’s intense, deep eyes, soft with understanding. He’s beautiful, even now, even when they’re just sitting here, and Kihyun feels a little breathless looking at him.

“I know we’ve only just met,” Kihyun continues, “but I just have this feeling about you. I’m set on escaping from here but...I won’t leave you to die.” Kihyun gives a soft smile, his tail swaying on the floor slowly and his ears relaxing back. “I want you to come with me, Hoseok.”

Kihyun tilts his head slightly, his ears focusing forward as he regards Hoseok, thinks about all that’s happened in just the short time that they’ve been here. It doesn’t seem like much, but Kihyun has always been cautious and even standoffish, has never quite warmed up to someone as quickly as he’s warmed up to Hoseok. He thinks about his strange, intuitive understanding of Hoseok, the sense about him that, like Kihyun, he’s different, and Kihyun feels a connection beyond them being forced here together, beyond chemical reactions and their dumb, natural biology. It’s instinct, yes, but it’s a different kind of instinct, a human one that seeks out connections and, more importantly, someone to connect with. A friend.

“I don’t think you want to be here anymore, either,” Kihyun says, looking up at Hoseok from beneath his eyelashes, his burst of strong conviction winding down, Kihyun suddenly a bit shy at being so straightforward. He is still an omega, after all. And what if he’s read this entire situation wrong? What then?

“Am I right?” Kihyun asks. And to his surprise, Hoseok’s eyes light up, and he smiles, and it makes Kihyun feel warm and safe.

“You’re right,” Hoseok says, his voice low and deep with earnestness. “And it seems that my gut feeling about you was correct, too.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen. “You knew?” he asks.

“I could tell that you were different from the moment I walked in,” Hoseok replies. “Not just from the other omegas, but from everyone here. The alphas, the betas, the omegas, the elders. They all want to stay behind these walls, even if it means sacrificing everything that makes life worth living. They toe the line to survive and are satisfied with only half a life. But you want freedom, and I know, because...”

Hoseok’s tail swishes slowly behind him as he takes a breath. “I’m the same, Kihyun,” Hoseok says. “ _We’re_  the same.”

He breaks eye contact and looks down into his lap as he starts playing with his hands, collecting his thoughts. “I had no intention of going through with this either,” Hoseok says. “I always thought this ritual was cruel and barbaric. Even if you had thrown yourself at me, I would’ve refused.”

Hoseok gives a sad little chuckle before he continues, and for some reason, it breaks Kihyun’s heart. “The thing is,” Hoseok goes on, “when my name was picked, I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t proud. I wasn’t anything, just...resigned. I just accepted it, at that moment, that I would fail, and that that would be it for me, for my sad little life. But at least I wouldn’t ruin someone else’s life, too. And I was prepared to die with my convictions intact, not leaving this world a worse place than the one I was born into, but then, well...”

Hoseok looks up at Kihyun and he smiles, fondly. “You’re the first omega I’ve ever met,” he says. “And just as you were, I’m sure, I was also expecting something completely different. We haven’t known each other very long at all, but...I can already see how much life is in you, Kihyun.” Kihyun doesn’t know what to say, and after a moment of silence, Hoseok goes on.

“You radiate life,” Hoseok says, “and it makes me feel like...I don’t want to throw my own life away anymore. My life isn’t meaningless, and I won’t go quietly. I don’t want to leave this world just having not made it worse, I want to leave after having made it better, even just a little a bit. Even just for one person.”

Kihyun feels like he’s holding his breath the entire time. This is the most that Hoseok has talked, the most either of them has said to each other since they’ve met, and he would have thought it would be strange and awkward, to go so deep so quickly with someone who’s still basically a complete stranger. But Hoseok...right now it feels like Kihyun’s known him forever.

It doesn’t feel strange or awkward at all, it’s just like they’re finally putting this effortless connection between them to words. And Kihyun sees now that he wasn’t the only one thinking about the other all night and all morning. Whatever Hoseok is to Kihyun, a surprise, someone to trust, someone to depend on after a whole life of never having anyone, Kihyun is something to Hoseok now, too.

“You give me hope, Kihyun,” Hoseok says. “I can feel it in you even now, like a fire burning, bright and warm. I’ve never met anyone like you, so bright even with every reason not to be, and...I want to help you. I don’t want that hope, that brightness to be extinguished.”

He smiles again and Kihyun gives him a little nod of understanding. He can’t help smiling a bit, too, Hoseok’s smile contagious. Kihyun relaxes, stretches his legs out in front of him and rests his hands on his knees, no longer feeling a need to be defensive.

Hoseok sighs, his voice taking on a serious tone again. “My whole life, I haven’t been able to break free of the role that was given to me,” Hoseok says. “I’m supposed to be a certain way, but it’s a way I don’t want to be. And I want to do some good in this world. If that means helping one omega find freedom, whether it be short-lived on the outside world or not, I want to do it. And I want to live free, too.”

Kihyun nods again, and they look at each other in silence. “I understand,” Kihyun finally says.

“Alphas are all about dominance, aggression, control, and power,” Hoseok goes on. “But I don’t think we have to be that way, and I don’t want to be that way. I’ve always wanted to use my strength for good, to protect and to help others. It’s why I was always a pariah, an outcast by my own community.”

Kihyun doesn’t move as Hoseok goes on, just takes in his words and thinks hard about everything that Hoseok is saying, how Hoseok is such a parallel to himself. Kihyun had always been different from the other omegas for thinking for himself, for rocking the boat, for making trouble and trying to live freely. Even his interests in cooking and reading books were considered scandalous, crossing boundaries that weren’t meant to be crossed. Kihyun had always been a pariah, too, and he had never imagined that he’d meet someone just like him, someone willing to risk everything for freedom, let alone an alpha, let alone here and now.

“I’m sure you know a bit about what alphas do. The fights,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun nods, because he does know, he’s read a lot about it. It’s well known that alphas fight often among themselves to establish alphas within alphas, and they fight each other to the death. Rank is everything to alphas, even more so than to the rest of the community, primarily established through physical strength and ferocity, the alphas the most animal-like and vicious of all of the hybrids.

“I never participated,” Hoseok goes on. “I let the others beat the crap out of me, send me to my low-ranking bed on the floor bleeding and ragged, even though I’m stronger than all of them combined, even though I could’ve easily established a high rank. And even when I was chosen to come here, so many protested, said I wasn’t worthy of mating, my biology not worthy of passing on. They said that I should be banished or killed on the spot. I had to be escorted by other alphas lest I get attacked on my way here.”

Kihyun understands now why Hoseok was so late arriving yesterday. They likely picked the time during dinner so that the alphas would be distracted and wouldn’t think to come after him. It hurts Kihyun’s heart terribly, too, to think of Hoseok curled up on the floor just like he was last night, but injured, sad, broken. Kihyun may have never fit in with the other omegas, may have had to endure sneers and gossip and being treated like a freak, but he’s glad now that it never came to violence. And Hoseok has such a noble strength to him, he shouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of those who would resort to cruelty.

“I don’t like violence,” Hoseok goes on. “And in particular, senseless violence. My strength will never be to hurt others.” And it’s then that Hoseok looks right into Kihyun’s eyes again, like he’s holding him close with just his gaze.

“You’re a special person, Kihyun,” Hoseok says. “And I want to protect you. I want to help you, and I want us both to be able to leave this place. There’s a whole world out there, and maybe it will be just as bad as it is in here, maybe it will be worse, but we won’t know until we go out there and see it for ourselves.”

Hoseok stops, then, and they both look right at each other in silence, not awkward or uncomfortable but soothing, reassuring. A promise.

“You know it will be dangerous, right?” Kihyun asks. “And we might not make it out of here alive. We might die for our freedom. And you aren’t like me, you have other options, Hoseok. You could have everything so easily, force yourself on me and I wouldn’t be able to fight you off.” Kihyun looks into Hoseok’s eyes, determined, wary, but hopeful. With the look in Hoseok’s eyes, Kihyun already knows that Hoseok would never even think of doing such a despicable thing.

“Can I trust you?” Kihyun asks. “Can I trust that this is really what you want?”

Hoseok’s eyes go soft, and he looks at Kihyun with such sincerity, such heartfelt kindness, gentleness, that Kihyun doesn’t doubt him for even a moment.

“Like I said, I will only protect you, Kihyun,” Hoseok says. “And you can place your trust in me, absolutely. As my friend.”

Hoseok smiles and Kihyun can’t help but to smile in return. “Your friend,” Kihyun repeats. And his heart warms at the thought, because he’s never had a friend before.

Hoseok nods. “We're in this together now,” he says. “I think we can succeed. And once we’re out of here, things will be different, things will be difficult, but...”

Hoseok leans forward slightly and lowers his voice, as if he’s afraid that someone might be listening in. “I’ve heard that there are other communities out there,” Hoseok says. “Not just hybrids. Real, free communities. Sanctuaries. I think we can make it, start over with new lives in a new place if we work together.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen. He too, had heard rumors of such places, everyone has, and he had read about them in forbidden books that he had snuck away to read at late hours when he was supposed to be asleep. Despite the elders and their attempts to make the outside world seem a wasteland of death and decay, the truth is, the outside has always seemed like the future to Kihyun, has always seemed like the life that was waiting for him this entire time.

Kihyun doesn’t say anything right away. He feels a sudden but pleasant tightness growing in his chest. And he nods, smiles at Hoseok as his tail swishes happily behind him.

And with that, they begin to share their combined knowledge from two very different walks of life within their community. Hoseok, with his alpha privileges, knows the entire layout of the compound, including all possible points of exit, from memory, while Kihyun, from his years and years of secret reading, pretty much all he’s done to pass the time when omegas are expected to do nothing but grow up healthy in preparation for pregnancy, knows everything that they’ll need to gather from whatever they can find in here to survive on the outside.

They talk for a long, long time, and it starts out mostly business, them sharing what they each know, discussing possible timing and a plan of action for the next few days. But as the hours go on (and they really do lose track of time in there, just as Kihyun had predicted that they would), the discussion transitions to focus on the two of them, on their pasts, their stories.

Kihyun tells Hoseok all about learning to cook and clean thanks to the help of one of the betas who was willing to teach him, about reading every book he could get his hands on, from history to science to philosophy, about stuffing his brain with as much knowledge as he could knowing that it was the only real weapon he had as an omega. He even tells Hoseok about the photos he had seen in some of the forbidden books, photos that preserved what the world had once looked like before it all ended.

And Hoseok tells Kihyun all about how, while at first, he had built up his strength for his own protection, eventually, it became something that he used to protect the weaker alphas, the younger alphas. And Hoseok had grown to love building his body as a form of therapy, as a way to relax and to unwind from everything that was bothering him. It had become a way of meditating and finding his place in the world, a place where he could turn inside to his own mind and find some escape to a world that was better, gentler, and kinder. And it made him feel good to be strong, to be able to fight for what was right and to protect those he cared for.

And they both discover something amazing that they have in common: a love of music. It’s unusual for anyone in the compound to be interested in music; it’s not really something that even exists anymore, let alone something that anyone in the compound could ever understand enough to enjoy. Nowadays, only very simple songs are passed down through memory, but Kihyun had learned to read music from his books and had taught himself many songs, songs that he loves to sing quietly to himself while he cooks or helps the betas with cleaning. Hoseok even tries to get Kihyun to sing something for him on the spot, looking at him expectantly with those gentle, gentle eyes, but Kihyun shyly refuses, instead, promises that maybe when they leave the compound and are finally safe and free, he’ll sing for Hoseok.

And Hoseok, he had secretly learned to read music, too, in the alpha libraries, enamored with the poetry of song lyrics that he had come across, lyrics that told of the old world where people were free to fall in love and experience all of the joy and beauty that came along with it every step of the way. And Hoseok even writes his own lyrics, too, beautiful words that he hopes someday can be put to music, beautiful words that he hopes someday, Kihyun can sing for him.

The conversation arrives at a natural lull, and they look at each other softly for a long moment in silence, dreaming of all of the possibilities. It’s only then that Kihyun suddenly realizes how close they are, having scooted in toward each other little by little until they’re now so close that Kihyun can see himself reflected in Hoseok's eyes, Hoseok’s vanilla shrouding all of his senses like a blanket. Kihyun is sitting cross-legged now too, mirroring Hoseok unconsciously, and the pull between them is strong, and all it would take is a little push forward for their knees to touch.

“What time do you think it is?” Kihyun asks, a little breathless. It must be time for them to take their suppressants again, soon, which means that hours have gone by, though it sure doesn’t feel like it.

“It’s late afternoon, almost evening,” Hoseok responds, and Kihyun sees just the faintest blush bloom on Hoseok’s cheeks as he too seems to realize just how close they’ve gotten. Before Kihyun has the chance to ask, Hoseok continues, as if reading his mind.

“Alphas have a sharper sense of time than betas and omegas,” Hoseok says, sheepish. “It’s to help us with leadership. You could lock me in a closet for weeks and I’d still be able to keep accurate track of time.” Kihyun pouts a little, jealous, and Hoseok lets out a fond little chuckle.

“Omegas and betas have their own special qualities too, as I’m sure you know,” Hoseok goes on. “Every person has something that makes them special. You, for instance...” Hoseok gets really shy, then, his tail swishing back and forth, and Kihyun feels the intense feline instinct to pounce on it, a playful urge that he hasn’t felt relaxed enough to experience in ages.

“You’re so headstrong, tenacious,” Hoseok says. “It’s something special about you, Kihyun. You’re admirable.”

Kihyun’s heart thumps in his chest, bursting with pride and something else. “You’re admirable too, Hoseok,” he says. “For being you. For being strong in your own ways. Better ways. It takes real strength to stand by your convictions in this world, especially for people like us, when it seems like everyone is against us and just waiting for us to fail.”

Hoseok smiles, bashful and beautiful, and their suppressants are definitely starting to wear off, because Kihyun is becoming hyperaware of the fact that Hoseok is still half-naked and the fact that they’re so close, closer than they’ve been since they got here, the vanilla scent getting stronger and laced with an undercurrent that Kihyun knows comes from Kihyun’s own building heat. Before all of their plans can get spoiled in a flurry of unwanted natural instinct, they both stand up slowly, stretching from having sat there for so long talking.

And in the process, their hands brush, the first physical contact they’ve ever had, and Kihyun’s heart skips a beat, Hoseok’s touch sending a thrill up his spine that fizzles to the tips of his fingertips and toes. They both pull their hands back quickly, flustered, turning away from each other and refusing to make eye contact, but rather than the embarrassment of this morning, Kihyun feels something else, and he knows for a fact that Hoseok feels it too. He feels almost... _giddy_.

The rest of the afternoon and evening are rather uneventful. They chat on and off as they go about the cabin, going through drawers and cabinets and collecting all of the useful supplies that they can find, the first step of their escape and survival plan, and Kihyun finds himself lost in thought once more, mulling over everything that Hoseok had told him and everything that they had discussed. By the time evening comes around, it becomes clear that they’ve got their work cut out for them. There’s almost nothing in the cabin that will be useful to them once they leave here, and so they’re definitely going to need to find somewhere to go once they escape. Perhaps up towards the mountains, or to the west, to the coastline. They won’t be able to make it very long on what they bring with them, but Kihyun supposes that they can worry more about that once they’re outside the walls of the compound and gone for good. For now, their biggest obstacle is going to be their escape past the elders who come to retrieve them, and their escape past the guards, all four walls of the compound under the constant watch of powerful alphas.

They have dinner together, leftover from last night, and before they know it, it’s almost time for bed. The plan tomorrow is to work on making weapons and tools that they can use, both to aid in their escape and to survive once they’re out, and so they’ll need their rest so that they can start fresh tomorrow with clear heads. And as they both take turns using the bathroom to wash up, Kihyun makes up his mind to let Hoseok have the bed tonight, and so he starts pushing all of the blankets on the floor together into one big cushion, but Hoseok notices and immediately protests.

“Kihyun, no,” Hoseok says, letting out an incredulous little chuckle. “Absolutely not. You’re getting the bed tonight, and every other night.”

“Hoseok, please,” Kihyun argues, his tail darting behind him back and forth. “I want you to have it tonight, and I’ll take it again tomorrow, and then you the next day, and then—”

Before Kihyun can finish his sentence, Hoseok is suddenly swooping down on him and scooping him up into his arms bridal style, so smooth and effortless like Kihyun weighs nothing to him. And Kihyun is too shocked to protest, too overwhelmed to even react, and by the time he even fully processes what’s happening, that he’s cradled so gently in Hoseok’s arms, Hoseok is already plopping Kihyun down onto the blankets, laughing, and when Kihyun looks up at Hoseok, Hoseok’s cheeks are even redder than his own and Kihyun doubts it’s from the exertion of carrying him.

“Sleep here,” Hoseok says, still laughing, but there’s the slightest hint of a growl to the very bottom of his voice, and Kihyun feels a sharp tingle go up his spine, electrifying and intense. He knows then that it’s Hoseok’s alpha pull, and it makes Kihyun want to obey him. And Kihyun had always thought that he’d resent it if an alpha used his alpha pull on him, but right now, in this situation, he finds that he doesn’t mind it at all, and maybe he even... _likes_  it.

“I’m sorry I had to resort to that,” Hoseok says as Kihyun is still laying stunned on the bed beneath him, his ears pointed up and his tail swishing on the bed, his cheeks red and his eyes wide and bright. “But the truth is...”

He turns away from Kihyun then, shyly scratching one of his ears as his fluffy tail sways slowly behind him. Kihyun’s eyes fall over Hoseok’s naked back and he watches, transfixed, as the muscles move beautifully as Hoseok squats down to arrange the cushions a bit, and Kihyun can’t see his face, but he can hear the soft smile in his voice, that soft smile that he’s grown quite fond of, that soft smile that tells him that Hoseok cares about him.

“Being with you, I’m starting to think that an omega pull might exist too,” Hoseok says. “It makes me want to take care of you.” Hoseok pauses then, and Kihyun’s heart races, his breath caught in his chest.

“Either that,” Hoseok says, “or you’re just adorable.”

At that, Kihyun blushes again (neither of them can seem to stop blushing around each other), at a loss for words at Hoseok’s flirting, because that’s what it is, right? Kihyun is still not entirely sure if he can recognize it from a lifetime of only reading stories, but whatever it is that’s happening between them, Kihyun thinks that it’s really nice, and he thinks that this is how it should be. Hoseok laughs again, the sound low and deep, and Kihyun feels it low in his belly like a soothing, pleasant hum.

And it’s only a few minutes later, after they’ve both murmured soft, shy “goodnight”s to each other, when they’re both in their beds with the lights off ready to sleep, Hoseok curled up on all of the cushions and looking considerably less tense and more comfortable than he was last night, already fast asleep and breathing slowly, and Kihyun in the bed with the blankets pulled up to his chin as he stares up at the ceiling in the darkness and thinks. But instead of the frantic, anxious thoughts of last night, tonight he’s simply letting his mind wander, letting his mind  _feel_. And Kihyun feels it in his mind and in his heart that even if they were never forced together like this, he and Hoseok would’ve naturally found each other if given the chance. They really are like two connected spirits, two connected spirits transcending the lives and the roles that were given to them at birth.

The word “soulmates” suddenly flickers through Kihyun’s mind. He’s seen it in books many times, mostly in fictional stories rather than the informational texts, and it always referred to two people connected by destiny, bound together by forces beyond their control. But Kihyun knows that the two of them are both sick and tired of being pushed around by forces beyond their control, and if they are indeed soulmates, it would be a different kind of soulmates entirely. Rather than two souls controlled by destiny, Kihyun thinks that they are two souls who fit together perfectly like two puzzle pieces, who find each other and connect because of who they are as people, meant for each other in a much earthlier kind of way.

Even as he drifts on the brink of sleep, Kihyun can still smell Hoseok, and even with the suppressants clogging his system, Kihyun feels like he wants to be close to him. Close to Hoseok, close to his friend. Kihyun wants to hug him, wants to be hugged by him, and he can’t stop thinking about how it would feel to be in Hoseok’s arms, in a close embrace, how safe it would feel with Hoseok’s body wrapped around him and Hoseok’s heart beating steady beneath his cheek, how much he’d love to feel Hoseok’s hands in his hair and their tails curled together, the rumble of Hoseok’s purr and Hoseok’s tongue grooming his ears.

As Kihyun finally falls into a deep, peaceful sleep, he dreams of the two of them in some beautiful place outside these walls, all flowers and fields and warm, bright sunshine, like all of the photos he had seen of the world before it was destroyed. And in his dreams, Kihyun sings for Hoseok, sings the beautiful words Hoseok wrote just for him.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s one of those harsh facts of life, one that Kihyun has never experienced himself before today, one that he’s only ever encountered in the books that he’s read but a harsh fact of life all the same, how things can go so terribly wrong so quickly, how one tiny mistake can start a chain reaction, and soon, what began as an uneventful morning can quickly spiral out of control as everything falls apart all at once.

The third day in the cabin starts out calm and quiet enough, peaceful and pleasant, even, with no indication that everything is about to blow up in Kihyun’s face. When he awakens, Hoseok is already dressed and making coffee again, Kihyun opening his eyes and sitting up slowly, his ears perking up and his nose twitching as he breathes in the sharp, bitter aroma of the coffee mixed nicely with Hoseok’s soft vanilla, the scent that he’s grown as familiar with as the scent of the dense, wild forest surrounding the compound. Hoseok is fully-clothed this time, and Kihyun doesn’t even pretend to not be disappointed, frowning to himself and letting out a soft whine as the world around him comes into full focus.

Hoseok looks up from what he’s doing when he notices that Kihyun is awake, Hoseok’s tail swaying happily behind him and his own ears perking up. He looks well-rested and content, much better than he had yesterday morning, his skin glowing and his cheeks slightly flushed with health. He smiles brightly and Kihyun smiles in return, as easily as breathing.

“Good morning, Kihyunnie,” Hoseok says, his voice like honey, the sweet nickname making Kihyun’s heart thump. “How did you sleep?”

Kihyun blinks and yawns cutely, his eyes fluttering as his ears twitch. If he listens carefully, he can hear the soft patter of rain outside on the cabin rooftop, like fingertips tapping on the wood, and he can smell the faintest hints of morning dew. “I slept well,” he says. “What about you?”

“Slept great,” Hoseok responds, his eyes sparkling with fondness, and he turns back to making the coffee, humming happily as his fluffy tail keeps swaying back and forth behind him. Kihyun watches it for a few moments as if he’s hypnotized, and this time, Kihyun can’t help himself, can’t resist his feline urges.

Kihyun grins, eyes wide, and he quietly pushes back the covers and gets out of the bed, completely silent as his warm bare feet touch the cool wooden floor, completely silent as he pads across the room to sneak up behind Hoseok in the way that only a cat can manage.

And then, in the moment when Hoseok is turned towards the sink and about to wash his hands, Kihyun grabs for Hoseok’s tail, catching it between his hands and laughing loudly as Hoseok starts and lets out a shout of surprise.

Hoseok turns around halfway as Kihyun holds on tight to his tail, squeezing it and enjoying how soft and fluffy the fur feels on his palms and in between his fingers, and Hoseok just stares in awe as Kihyun plays, releasing his tail and then grabbing it again, over and over as Hoseok quickly catches on to the game and plays along, flicking his tail back and forth with an amused grin. It’s only after a few minutes that Kihyun finally releases Hoseok’s tail and reaches up to rest his hands on Hoseok’s shoulders, Kihyun standing on his toes and laughing with his eyes scrunched up into adorable crescents, his own velvety tail raised in happiness behind him, swaying slowly.

“I’m sorry,” Kihyun says, a little breathless with laughter. “I couldn’t resist.” He comes down from standing on his toes while still gripping tight to Hoseok’s shoulders, and he presses in close to Hoseok’s broad back, burying his face in between Hoseok’s shoulder blades to suppress his giggles.

Hoseok is just so  _big_ , and such a physical contrast to Kihyun in so many ways, that his very presence draws Kihyun in close to him. The muscles in Hoseok’s back are warm and firm, and Kihyun feels like he wants to sink into Hoseok’s skin, Kihyun nuzzling his face, one side and then the other, against the center of Hoseok’s upper back, Kihyun’s chest producing happy feline sounds as he breathes in Hoseok’s amazing, comforting scent. It makes Kihyun feel so good inside, addictive like a drug, and Kihyun just can’t get enough of it, can’t get enough of  _Hoseok_. And Hoseok doesn’t say anything in response to Kihyun’s sudden burst of affection, but he lets out a low rumble of a laugh that Kihyun feels roll through Hoseok’s back, and as Hoseok breathes deeply, Kihyun reflexively squeezes Hoseok’s shoulders and sighs in contentment.

It’s only then that Kihyun remembers that he’s half-naked, only wearing his t-shirt, and as he releases Hoseok’s shoulders and takes a slow step back, Hoseok turns around fully to face him, still smiling with the coffee pot in hand, and Hoseok must be just as drawn to Kihyun as Kihyun is to him, because Kihyun watches with amusement as Hoseok’s gaze drops down to Kihyun’s bare thighs, then down his bare legs, and back up to his thighs again, up to the sinful stretch where the hemline of the t-shirt brushes over the fullest, plumpest parts.

And Kihyun doesn’t feel embarrassed at all, not like he thought he’d be. On the contrary, he catches Hoseok’s gaze as Hoseok’s eyes move back up to his face, and he holds it as his own eyes go half-lidded, and he lets his naturally-pouty lips part slightly, knowing that he looks absolutely irresistible to an alpha like Hoseok, feeling stupidly happy when Hoseok’s eyes go a little wider and he blushes, quickly breaking eye contact and turning back to the stove, Hoseok’s ears twitching and his tail beginning to sway behind him a little faster, a little more flustered than before.

Kihyun laughs and grins wide, triumphantly to himself. He’s blushing too, his heart racing with excitement, because he had no idea that flirting could be this much  _fun_.

“It’s almost ready,” Hoseok says, the softness returning to his voice. “And I found a cake mix in the pantry, God knows why that’s there. It’s coffee cake.”

“Cake for breakfast?” Kihyun asks, and Hoseok gives him an affirmative sound in response as he starts to clean up. Kihyun moves back towards him and leans up against the counter, tilting his head playfully, his eyes falling back to Hoseok’s tail swishing behind him. Kihyun feels the urge to pounce on it again, to pounce at Hoseok’s chest and paw and bite at his muscles so that Hoseok will play with him, maybe wrestle him to the ground. The thought of rolling around on the floor with Hoseok, the two of them wrapped together in a flurry of limbs and skin and fur, makes his fingertips and toes tingle, sends something like a flicker of electricity racing up his spine.

“Or better yet,” Kihyun continues, looking back up at Hoseok’s face, “we could make it together. I’ll show you some of the things I’ve learned from the betas. And my books.”

Hoseok turns to smile at Kihyun, his eyes soft. And Kihyun still can’t get over the way that Hoseok looks at him, a way that nobody else has ever looked at him before.

“That would be really nice, Kihyunnie,” he says, doing more stupid things to Kihyun’s heart with that new nickname.

And they’re both swept up, caught in a moment together, then, the two of them looking right into each other’s eyes in silence. The world seems to go still and quiet around them, and it feels like they’re the only two people left, like they were the only two people  _ever_  there. It’s like so many of the stories that Kihyun has read, like so many of the stories about love, a moment where Kihyun feels like he can see into Hoseok’s soul, and he feels like Hoseok can see into his, too, and Kihyun doesn’t want to move, just wants to keep looking at Hoseok like this, wants Hoseok to keep looking at him like this, forever. Neither of them moves, but Kihyun feels the urge, the  _need_  to be closer to Hoseok, and it’s got nothing at all to do with his pheromones or alpha pull or any of that. This is something deeper, something real.

And that’s it, that’s the moment, the critical moment when everything beings to unravel.

Kihyun goes into the shower, still thinking about that look in Hoseok’s eyes, and he thinks at this point, neither of them can deny their attraction to each other, an attraction that has nothing at all to do with their biology as alpha and omega. Hoseok is certainly physically attractive, yes, but it’s his gentleness, his kindness, the ease with which they get along and understand each other that has Kihyun thinking that he might be just a little bit infatuated with him. And if Kihyun’s intuition is correct, he thinks that Hoseok might be just a little bit infatuated with him, too.

And it’s amazing, because Kihyun had never thought that he’d ever have feelings for someone else like this, or that someone might return his feelings with their own. He had long ago given up on that, had long ago accepted the fact that affection, romance, love, even simple friendship...these were things that only survived in the stories, and had no place now in their broken, barren, wasteland of a world.

But being with Hoseok, Kihyun feels like maybe...maybe it all survived after all, everything that had once made the world such a beautiful place. Maybe it’s all still there, not dead at all but just buried beneath the surface, deep underground like colorful flowers waiting to sprout and bloom. And he and Hoseok, maybe, maybe if they’re given a real chance, given real freedom out in the real world, maybe together they can be something more, maybe together they can be something beautiful, too.

The thought of being with Hoseok like that, the thought of the two of them being free to go at their own pace, free to make their own decisions, free to be together in their own way, in whatever way, whether it be as friends or lovers or something else, makes Kihyun’s whole body feel wonderfully warm, full of happiness, and he smiles, curling in close to himself as the water gently beats down on him and the thick steam fills his lungs. He feels too much and at the same time, what he feels is so simple.

He just feels... _hope_.

And the feeling only gets stronger as he finishes in the shower and does his best to dry himself off before slipping back into his t-shirt. In fact, he can’t seem to stop thinking about Hoseok as he exits the bathroom, his skin warm and damp, his tail raised behind him and his eyes clear, falling to the sculpted planes of Hoseok’s back and Hoseok’s wide shoulders as Hoseok pours their coffee into two mugs just like he had yesterday. Soon, they’ll get to work and by the end of the day, will hopefully be one step closer to their freedom. At least, that was the plan.

But as Kihyun gratefully accepts the mug and takes his first few sips of hot, bitter coffee, the air all around him drenched in vanilla, he and Hoseok lock eyes again, and Hoseok smiles, leans ever so slightly towards Kihyun like he’s about to reach out and touch him, and then, something strange begins to happen.

Kihyun takes in Hoseok’s wonderful scent, each cloud of vanilla deeper and stronger than the last, the underlying alpha musk thick and intense, so strong that it’s like Kihyun can feel it down to his cells, and as he breathes in, something overcomes him, like a cloud, like a sudden oncoming storm, and he starts to feel woozy and hot until he’s flushed all over, his vision going foggy like he’s still wrapped up in the steam of the shower.

And no, he’s not just flushed, he’s burning up. His blood runs hot through his veins and his whole body grows feverish, and he starts trembling, quivering as he stares into Hoseok’s beautiful eyes, suddenly full of concern. Kihyun’s lips part and he lets out a moan as he’s overcome with an intense wave of physical desire, hot arousal squeezing him tight from the inside out.

Kihyun’s hands shake, and he drops his mug to the floor with a loud crash as the porcelain shatters and hot coffee spills everywhere, and it’s then that Kihyun realizes his critical mistake.

He forgot to take his suppressants.

And it’s not enough to run and take them now. It’s too late. Once an omega’s heat begins, the omega must either power through it unfulfilled or mate. If he tries to use his suppressants now and interrupts his heat, he’ll die.

Hoseok seems to realize what’s happening at the same moment that Kihyun does, because his eyes go wide and he takes a step towards him, his lips parted in worry as he sets his mug down on the stove. Hoseok steps closer and hesitates, a wave of  _something_  hitting him and stopping him in his tracks. Kihyun watches as Hoseok’s cheeks go pink, then deep red, Hoseok’s scent changing, shifting, growing heavier and heavier until Kihyun feels like he’s suffocating in it. Hoseok must have remembered to take his suppressants, or else the pheromones would be even stronger and Hoseok would already be on top of Kihyun ready to mate, right there on the floor, but even so, the overwhelming scent of Kihyun’s heat has Hoseok shaking too, his alpha body giving off the unmistakable scent of arousal, Hoseok speechless just as Kihyun is.

Kihyun moans again, louder, closing his eyes, his eyebrows furrowing as he’s hit with wave after wave of intense desire, his mouth falling open and sweat dotting along his forehead. He feels like he’s choking, like his chest is compressed and thick ribbon is wrapped around his throat. He’s never felt anything like this before, he’s never felt so powerless.

He grabs onto one of the wooden chairs to steady himself as his legs wobble, Hoseok automatically taking a step closer to him out of concern, and to his horror, Kihyun can feel his entrance already lubricating itself. Within a few moments, there’s slick dripping down his bare thighs and legs, thick and sticky, and his lower belly is tight and coiled with arousal, building and bundling itself in heat and intensity, and he feels like crying, the pressure almost unbearable. He can only open his eyes halfway to look at Hoseok, and he can’t even speak, his throat clogged with moans. Kihyun’s lips tremble as he stares at Hoseok with wet eyes, and all he can do is whimper in desperation.

And looking at Hoseok doesn’t help one bit, not in the way that Kihyun had thought that it would, the human part of him instinctively looking to Hoseok for comfort and for  _help_. But the more he looks at Hoseok, moving closer to him carefully, like he’s approaching a wild animal, the more Kihyun’s body reacts to Hoseok’s scent, the more Kihyun’s body wants Hoseok for something else entirely, and Kihyun’s head is spinning from it, hot tears forming at the corners of his eyes. It’s so intense that it  _hurts_  and for a moment, Kihyun wonders if it’s possible for an omega to die from an unfulfilled heat.

Kihyun’s knees shake and his eyes flutter closed, his mouth falling open as his legs finally give out and his body goes limp, and he collapses, only to find himself once again in Hoseok’s arms, Hoseok having caught him just in time.

And Hoseok’s arms around him feel so warm, so  _good_ , Hoseok’s scent like  _everything_  that’s good in the world, and Kihyun whines, moans loudly as Hoseok scoops him up to carry him just like he had last night. And Hoseok is carrying him to the bed, Kihyun realizes way in the back of his mind, and without thinking, Kihyun curls in towards Hoseok’s chest, gripping Hoseok’s t-shirt hard as he starts to cry, pressing his face against Hoseok’s pounding heart, because it’s all just too much for him, for his senses and his body, and he’s soaking wet from slick and he just wants it all to stop.

And of course, there’s only one way to make it stop.

Kihyun sobs as Hoseok lowers him gently onto the bed, carefully tucking Kihyun’s legs beneath the covers, careful not to touch any of the slick or anywhere near Kihyun’s entrance, before pulling the blankets over Kihyun’s body to keep him warm, because Kihyun has gone from sweating to shivering in a matter of seconds, goosebumps rising all over his arms and legs and his lips trembling.

“H-Hoseok,” Kihyun moans out, his mouth dry and his voice dying in his throat. It’s the only word that he can think to say right now, and he’s not even sure what he wants from him, from Hoseok. Kihyun’s body, well, his body wants to be fucked, that much is obvious. He’s already drowning in Hoseok’s alpha pheromones, but he still wants more. He wants Hoseok on top of him and inside of him, fucking him hard and filling him up to the brim, granting Kihyun the sweet fulfillment that only he can give to him, winding him up tight and then releasing him over the edge into oblivion. Kihyun’s mind is going wild with flashing images and phantom sensations of all that Hoseok could do to him, and Kihyun would beg Hoseok to fuck him right now, he’d beg with hot tears still streaming down his cheeks, if only he could speak, if only he could do anything but lie here paralyzed in agony.

But underneath it all, the human part of Kihyun that’s still way down there buried beneath all of this...he just wants  _Hoseok_ , not Hoseok the alpha, but Hoseok the person, Hoseok his  _friend_.

Hoseok sits down at the edge of the bed carefully, the mattress dipping and the bedframe creaking loudly from his weight, and he’s shaking just like Kihyun is, but thanks to his suppressants, he seems mostly alright and in control of his mind and body. He reaches forward to brush some of Kihyun’s hair off of his forehead, damp with cooling sweat, his light touch like fire on Kihyun’s skin, and Kihyun moans again as Hoseok coos softly, looking down at him with care and tenderness.

“It’s alright,” Hoseok murmurs, voice calm and gentle despite his visible trembling and the panic in his eyes. “You’re going to be fine. I’m going to take care of you.”

Kihyun whimpers as his heat beats through him even stronger at Hoseok’s proximity, pulsing between burning heat and freezing cold, Kihyun instinctively spreading his legs wide beneath the blankets, a large wet stain forming all around him and under him from his slick. It could be over so easily, and as his biology clouds his judgment, as Hoseok’s vanilla and musk fills his nose and his throat and his lungs, fills every corner of his mind and every atom in his body, Kihyun is ready to throw everything away, ready to give up entirely on everything that they had been planning just to satisfy his heat.

“Please, Hoseok,” Kihyun moans, his cheeks soaked in tears, his face aching. And he doesn’t have to finish his sentence for Hoseok to know what he’s asking for. Looking at Hoseok now, he can only imagine what things would be like if Hoseok were off his suppressants too. Even now, the scent of his heat alone is making Hoseok’s eyes glassy, weakening his resolve even with the suppressants, and Hoseok has to close his eyes and take a deep breath, his face red and forehead dotted with sweat, before he can speak again in a shaking voice.

“I’m going to take care of you,” Hoseok says again, and Kihyun swears he can hear Hoseok’s heart pounding hard and fast, can hear Hoseok’s blood rushing through his veins just as well as his own. “But you’re not in your right mind, and I know that’s not what you want. I’m going to get you through this, Kihyunnie.”

Kihyun just sobs in response, more tears spilling down his cheeks. The room is spinning around him now and his lower body feels like its collapsing in on itself from the pressure, so tight and tense that Kihyun feels like he could scream, and he very well might just to a feel a single moment, a single drop of relief. Instead, he just throws his head back onto the pillow and moans, shutting his eyes tight and letting the tears fall freely, his entire body soaked in sweat and slick like he’s been bathed in it. Hoseok’s voice sounds distant and muffled as Kihyun feels him stand up from the bed and hears him go over to the sink, murmuring soothing words back to Kihyun the entire time, his voice the only thing grounding Kihyun to Earth.

The thing is, an omega’s heat only lasts for a few hours, and this is not the first time that Kihyun has forgotten to take his suppressants and has had to power through a heat unfulfilled. Kihyun has been having heats since the day he became viable, around the same time he began his human puberty, and like most omegas, without his suppressants, he would have a heat once a day until mated for the first time. From there, heats would only occur between pregnancies.

Naturally, with such potential for chaos with so many omegas in the compound together, the betas are well-prepared to handle any forgotten doses of suppressants, and well-skilled at isolating and caring for omegas to power through any accidental heats. But to have it happen now, while he’s here with no betas, and with only an alpha so close to him, an alpha whom he also happens to feel an undeniable attraction to, makes it all the more difficult and all the more intense. The thing is, Kihyun never imagined that his heat could be  _this_  powerful.

But at the same time, having Hoseok with him makes it a little easier, maybe not physically so, (definitely not physically so) but the thought of anyone else being with him right now, even a well-trained beta, makes Kihyun feel a harsh bite of anxiety, an  _ache_  deep in his bones. He only wants Hoseok with him now, when he’s at his most vulnerable like this, and whether that’s just another side effect of the heat or whether it’s his newfound fondness for his friend, Kihyun isn’t sure, but it doesn’t matter because something about being with Hoseok just... _soothes_  him, even in a situation like this where having Hoseok so close is amplifying the worst of the physical effects. As always since they began their time together in this cabin, Kihyun is feeling extremely conflicted in mind and body and everything else.

Hoseok returns to him a few seconds later, and as he gets close once again, Kihyun’s hit with a powerful wave of his symptoms, so much so that he nearly blacks out from it. Still, when Hoseok presses a cloth soaked in ice-water gently to Kihyun’s forehead, Kihyun moans loudly in pleasure as it makes contact with his burning skin, because it helps ease the discomfort, just a little bit, and it’s the kind of the thing the betas were trained to do for an omega in heat, keep them as comfortable as possible through all the symptoms. And Hoseok seems to know exactly what he’s doing. As Kihyun whines and whimpers, Hoseok pats his forehead with the cloth over and over again, murmuring sweet little nothings, then pulls the blankets up all the way to Kihyun’s chin before sitting down again at the edge of the bed.

There’s a long moment of silence between them, and Kihyun is struggling to breathe, each breath coming in shallow and tight and going out harsh and loud, like he’s wheezing, and Hoseok looks shaken, heartbroken when Kihyun opens his eyes halfway, a fresh bout of tears falling down his cheeks as his insides constrict and his sopping-wet entrance contracts and expands around nothing. The cloth feels good on his forehead, and somehow, he feels like he can think just a little more clearly, and when he and Hoseok lock eyes, he feels like he can actually process what’s happening again.

“If you want me to,” Hoseok murmurs. “I could go sit in the bathroom while we wait this out, get as far away from you as possible in here. Just tell me what you need.”

“No, please,” Kihyun whines, because despite the effect on his body, the last thing that he wants is for Hoseok to leave him now. The last thing he wants is to be alone. “Please stay.” And then, Hoseok is touching him again, brushing his damp hair out of his eyes, adjusting the cloth as he sighs in worry.

And for the next three hours, Hoseok does stay. He stays right with him as Kihyun powers through his heat, Hoseok by his side the whole way through, occasionally getting up to bring Kihyun water to drink or to bring him another ice-water cloth to press to his forehead. It’s raining outside, harder than before, and it makes the air even in the cabin denser and wetter, makes everything feel slow and heavy. There are a few moments where Kihyun nearly loses himself entirely, moaning loud and crying out wordlessly, grabbing onto Hoseok’s shirt with shaking hands and feeling like he’ll burn to ash from the heat or freeze to death from the cold, moments where Kihyun begs and screams all manner of things. But the entire time, Hoseok stays, he stays and he takes care of him and he does it all with the utmost patience, the utmost gentleness.

And as the time goes by painfully, painfully slow, as Hoseok does everything that he can to keep Kihyun as comfortable as possible, Kihyun’s racing heartbeat eventually starts to quiet, and his body temperature starts to lower and stabilize, and his vision starts to clear, and the pressure inside of him starts to relax, and Hoseok’s vanilla scent starts to feel less like it’s consuming him and more like it’s caressing him, like it’s  _kissing_  him. Little by little, Kihyun’s heat recedes from a wildfire out of control to a contained ember, and soon, it’s barely there at all, and all Kihyun can see and all Kihyun can feel is Hoseok, sitting right there by his side, watching over him and caring for him, protecting him, from himself, from the world, from everything. And Kihyun feels safe with Hoseok by his side, maybe safer than he ever has before, and as his heat passes and arrives towards its end, it really feels like everything will be just fine after all.

That is, until there’s suddenly a loud and solid thump at the front door.

Kihyun’s heat is still on its last legs, still faint and still clinging on by its last tendril, when the front door starts to shake from something colliding over and over with it on the other side, the wood creaking like it’ll split at any moment or the door will be knocked off its hinges. The thumping gets louder and stronger, and soon, the whole cabin is shaking, little clouds of dust falling from the ceiling at each impact against the door. It would be loud under normal circumstances, but with Kihyun’s lingering hypersensitivity from his heat, the thumps sound like a battering ram, each new crack in the wood like a gunshot.

Kihyun lets out a confused little whine, weak and exhausted, because he can still barely move or speak, while Hoseok immediately turns his attention to the door, ears shooting up and tail raised, alert, his eyes serious, his back to Kihyun as he grips the blankets hard, putting himself directly between Kihyun and the door.

There’s a brief moment of silence, and then, the thumping continues, like someone is trying to break into the cabin.

No, not “like.” Someone  _is_  trying to break into the cabin.

And even more concerning is that although his heat is just about over, Kihyun’s body is reacting strangely, his heart rate and his breathing completely out of his control, Kihyun instinctively shrinking into himself beneath the covers, curling up, defensive and terrified. Meanwhile, Hoseok is making himself bigger, his tail puffing out as he stands up, his eyes trained to the door the entire time. It’s because of the scent, and because they both already know who it is that’s trying to break into the cabin.

It’s an alpha. More than one. And they’re here for Kihyun.

It’s one of the reasons why mating has to take place in isolated cabins. An omega in heat is almost impossible for an alpha off their suppressants to resist, and there have been incidents in the past where alphas who weren’t picked to mate missed a dose of suppressants, sometimes intentionally if done out of protest and anger, and broke into the mating cabins to kill the alpha inside and take the omega for themselves. Natural instinct and biology, the chemicals and the pheromones are more powerful than anything else to the hybrids, and they can make them do unspeakable, wicked things, especially the alphas.

And right now, it sounds like Kihyun’s unplanned heat came at the worst possible timing, when not one, not two, but  _three_  alphas had missed a dose of their suppressants, had smelled Kihyun’s heat, and are now intent on breaking into their cabin to kill Hoseok and fight over Kihyun for themselves.

Kihyun curls further into the blankets. He wishes that he could do more. He wishes that he could help Hoseok. He  _knows_  that together, the two of them could figure out what to do to send the alphas away without the situation escalating, but right now he can’t do anything, and he can’t help but feel completely useless. It’s his stupid biology always getting in the way, always ruining everything and making everything more difficult. First it was his unplanned heat, entirely his own fault, making Hoseok worried and wasting hours of their precious little time that they have to prepare for their escape from the compound. And now, it’s attracting the worst and most dangerous kind of trouble imaginable and Kihyun doesn’t even have the strength or wherewithal to help fight it off.

As the thumping continues and Hoseok watches the door, Kihyun can feel all of his anxiety and all of his frustration, at this situation, at the world, at himself, swirling around inside of him like a storm, restless,  _ruthless_ , and before he knows it, he’s crying again, but this time he can’t even blame his heat for it. He hates this, this feeling of being trapped in his own body, this feeling of constantly being at the mercy of others, of always being the victim. This isn’t who he is, or who he wants to be, but at times like this, at times when it really counts, he wonders why he even bothers, why he even bothers when omegas really are just good for nothing but doing what they’re told.

He cries and cries, and it only makes him feel even worse, even more frustrated, because of course it’s now of all times that he decided to have an emotional meltdown. And of course, Hoseok is quick to notice, quick to turn around and take his attention away from the pounding door. Kihyun turns to Hoseok wearily, his eyes full of tears as they communicate without speaking, because Kihyun can only sob, his feelings too intense, too much to put into words, and Hoseok looks so sad, so worried for him, and somehow they’re able to completely understand each other, Hoseok offering his hand and Kihyun taking it gratefully, hiccupping as Hoseok gives it a firm squeeze.

“Stay here, Kihyunnie,” Hoseok says, his voice gentle, but he uses his alpha pull, even stronger than before from the lingering effects of Kihyun’s heat. Kihyun can’t move now even if he wanted, he can only watch as Hoseok stands up and lets go of his hand, turning to face the door.

Hoseok’s tail is puffed up behind him, and his ears are forward again, and he takes a few careful steps towards the door, slow and steady. And Kihyun can smell his alpha pheromones getting stronger, his alpha biology kicking in for an entirely different purpose, not for mating but for fighting, to intimidate in the presence of other alphas. He looks serious, and angry, and Kihyun can see now that he can’t fight his biology just as much as Kihyun can’t fight his.

And then, it’s like he becomes a different person, one whom Kihyun has never seen before. Hoseok stops when he’s about two steps away from the front door, and he just stands there, his tail raised, his hands balled into fists on either side of him, not moving as the alphas at the door keep colliding against it with every intention to break it down.

Hoseok had said before that he wanted to use his strength not to fight but to protect, but it’s not until this moment that Kihyun realizes that protecting something can make someone so powerful. Hoseok’s back and shoulders are completely tense, and he’s making this very low noise in his throat, in his chest, barely audible because the pitch is so low, but it’s almost a growl. And he’s giving off more pheromones, more of the “fighting” pheromones, and they’re so different from his usual sweet vanilla. Now, the musk is stronger and overpowers everything.

For a long, long time, Hoseok doesn’t move, just stands there between Kihyun and the door, and as Kihyun’s tears peter down to sniffles, he knows that just as they can sense and smell the three alphas outside, the three alphas outside can sense and smell Hoseok. And Hoseok may be the kindest and the gentlest person that Kihyun has ever known, but he’s also very much an alpha, very much a large, powerful alpha, and even without seeing them, Kihyun can already tell that those three outside combined are no match for him. It’s probably why they all came here together in the first place. Hoseok had said that there were many alphas who didn’t approve of Hoseok being chosen to mate.

The rain continues the entire time, accompanied by the beginning rumbles and electric tingles in the air of an oncoming storm. But eventually, the thumping on the door quiets and then stops completely, and the smell of the three alphas grows fainter and fainter as they give up and reduce their pheromones. Soon, they leave the vicinity of the cabin entirely, likely going off to power through their urges with fighting, as alphas often do. That is, if there isn’t another occupied mating cabin to attack. Kihyun swallows at the thought, because he may have not gotten along with the other omegas, but he would never wish that kind of terror and danger on anyone.

There’s silence for a few moments, and Kihyun blinks, weary, exhausted all over again, as Hoseok unclenches his fists, his tail swaying and drooping down back to normal. He doesn’t move, and it’s then that Kihyun can hear the rain outside beginning to pick up, stronger and heavier than the soft patters of the peaceful morning. The wind has started blowing, too, echoing loudly throughout the cracks in the cabin, and now they’ve got some idea of what time of day it is, the cracks in the door lending them thin slivers of natural light. It’s sometime late in the afternoon, now, and Kihyun can smell mud from the outside, from the soil soaked through with rain. He closes his eyes and leans back on the pillow, sighing loudly in exhaustion.

Kihyun hears and smells and senses as Hoseok returns to him, once again bringing his hand to rest on Kihyun’s forehead. Now that it doesn’t feel like his forehead is on fire, Kihyun can appreciate how large and warm and nice Hoseok’s hand feels, and Kihyun knows he’s just about through it now, his heat nearly finished without further incident. Hoseok returns to his spot on the edge of the bed, and just like that, he’s slipped back to his gentle, caring self, complete with the soft aroma of sugary vanilla.

What Kihyun is not prepared for, however, is when Hoseok lowers his hand from Kihyun’s forehead and brings it to rest on Kihyun’s cheek, just for a moment, Kihyun letting out a breathless little gasp, opening his eyes to look up and into Hoseok’s own. And they don’t speak to each other right away, they just look at each other in silence, still in shock about everything that’s happened, so much in such a short time. What can they even say to each other, how can they even know where to begin?

The truth is, there’s nothing to say. They know without having to say a thing, but Kihyun wants to say something, anyway.

“Hoseok,” Kihyun starts, his voice timid. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Hoseok murmurs. He pauses, looks right into Kihyun’s eyes for a long time, that soft smile of his lighting up Kihyun’s heart. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes,” Kihyun replies. “I’m sorry, and I—”

“No need to apologize, either,” Hoseok says, shaking his head slightly as he rests his hand again on Kihyun’s cheek. It feels good there, like it belongs there, and Kihyun nuzzles his face ever so slightly into it, unable to resist the urge.

They leave it at that, and once again, Kihyun is thankful to have been matched with Hoseok.

As the late afternoon gives way to twilight, the storm outside begins to grow stronger to the point where they can no longer ignore it. They still have some good working time left for today, but Kihyun is too exhausted to do anything, and with the storm coming, it’s likely they’ll lose power as they often do in the compound whenever a big storm hits, and so making outage preparations and ensuring safety from the storm both take priority over their escape plans, at least for the rest of tonight.

And so, as Hoseok gets to work by himself, going about the cabin and making sure that everything is prepared for the inevitable power loss, Kihyun starts to drift away again, starts to get lost in thought. He’s wiped out from everything that’s happened today, and even now, even hours later as the sun sets and evening dawns upon them with the storm brewing fierce and menacing outside the cabin walls, his brain still feels foggy, slow, but he smiles every time that Hoseok comes to check on him, because it’s Hoseok, and he’s here, still right by his side through all of this.

Hoseok brings him a light porridge that he had prepared for them at the stove and Kihyun makes an involuntary little noise as he gratefully accepts the warm bowl into his cold hands, a soft little sound that has Hoseok stopping in his tracks, tilting his head slightly in amusement.

“What is it?” Hoseok asks, and Kihyun finds himself smiling brightly, because he knows exactly what “it” is.

“It’s nothing,” Kihyun says, and he’s looking right at Hoseok and into his eyes as he says it. “Nothing at all.”

Hoseok goes back to preparing the cabin while Kihyun watches, content to finally rest after such a rough day. If the past is anything to go on, when they lose power, it’ll likely be a day or two before they’ll get it back. And it won’t be too difficult. Life in the compound has always been rather simple, rather  _analog_ , and they’ve got plenty of nonperishable food and drinking water and it’s springtime, so they don’t have to worry much about the temperature. The lighting is an issue, but with their feline eyesight and the many cracks in the door caused by the alphas and the many cracks in the roof caused by the storm, they should have enough natural light to manage.

And all the while as he’s working, Hoseok keeps checking on Kihyun. He brings him more water, he helps him to the bathroom to wash up and back, he tucks his blankets in around him, and most importantly, he stays alert, stays bright and focused while Kihyun is depending on him. He even helps Kihyun take his suppressants when the time comes, both of them giggling nervously to each other as they watch the other swallow down his pills.

As the evening goes on, they’re hit with the worst of the storm, the wind blowing so strongly that the whole cabin shakes like it’ll collapse, the rain hitting like gunfire, heavy and fast and wet, soaking through in the corners of the roof and leaking, dripping down onto the floor. According to legend within their community, omegas have a special connection with the weather, particularly with the rain, and it’s said that an omega’s intense moods can affect the severity of a storm. With that in mind, Kihyun worries that this storm, too, was somehow his fault, that his one mistake has caused yet another obstacle in their way. Well, not just one obstacle, truth be told. A power outage could cause any number of obstacles in addition to everything else that they’re already dealing with. And with one of them bedridden and an entire day wasted like this, it’s just setback after setback after setback.

Suddenly, there’s a huge boom of thunder and Kihyun curls closer into the blankets, trembling. He’s always been a bit scared of storms because of all the destruction that they can bring, and the thunder being so loud doesn’t help much either, and it’s a fear that he’s never quite been able to shake off no matter how much he’s tried to learn about storms to better understand them. He lets out a little whine, and Hoseok must hear him across the room in the bathroom, where he’s busy collecting water for them to use when the power goes out, because he comes over to Kihyun right away, just as there’s another huge boom of thunder like a cannon.

The power goes out in one quick burst, the whole cabin falling into complete darkness, and Kihyun lets out a little shout of surprise as it feels like the entire foundation of the cabin shakes from a huge gust of wind. Kihyun lies on his side, closing his eyes as he tries to focus on breathing, a shiver running through him as he counts out each breath. One. Two. Three. In. Out. In. Out.

His eyes open when he feels Hoseok’s weight beside him once more, the mattress dipping again and the bed creaking in protest, and Hoseok’s hand finds its way to Kihyun’s back even in the darkness, rubbing up and down soothingly, and even through the blankets, Kihyun can feel its warmth.

Kihyun blinks, and his feline eyes adjust well enough that he’s able to see the outline of Hoseok’s body, the outlines of his face, and he can see that Hoseok is looking right at him, and their eyes find each other even in the darkness. Kihyun thinks about the storm raging around them, about the alphas who had tried to break in and who could come back at any moment now that they know there’s an unmated omega inside, about the terrifying power of his own nature. His whole life, he’s been afraid, has done everything he could to escape his fear, and he had always thought that he was on his own. But now, he knows that he’s not, and that even if he’s still afraid, he doesn’t have to face it all alone.

“Hoseok,” he whispers into the dark. “Will you...?”

He suddenly can’t find the words to ask for what he wants, and his voice goes quiet, trails off into silence as he stares into Hoseok’s eyes, knowing that Hoseok will understand. There’s a long moment of silence before Hoseok takes a deep breath, sighs, and it sounds sad, clenching around Kihyun’s heart.

“Kihyunnie,” Hoseok says, his voice soft and deep. “It’s not a good idea.”

Kihyun’s heart falls and he sighs, curling into himself and letting his eyes fall shut. The bed feels so big and empty, and Kihyun wants warmth, warmth and comfort. He had known that Hoseok would say no, but for some reason, he had asked anyway. What can he say? He’s impatient, he doesn’t want to wait any longer for their freedom, especially after today, a wake-up call that it’s going to be even more difficult than they had anticipated. But then, he feels Hoseok’s hand on his face again, and his eyes flicker open. He can see that Hoseok is smiling, small and gentle as always.

“I can stay with you until you fall asleep,” Hoseok says, and they don’t say anything after that, but Kihyun understands, he realizes that no matter how long it takes, no matter how difficult it may be, it will be worth it. And it’s then that Kihyun is finally able to close his eyes with relief and within a few moments, he drifts off with Hoseok’s hand carded through his hair, rubbing his feline ears soothingly, in a slow, gentle rhythm like he’s singing a lullaby.

Kihyun doesn’t know how long he stays asleep for, but he awakens sometime in the middle of the night from a series of vague, formless dreams, all pure feeling and sensation, all vibrant sound and color and light. The power is still off, but the storm has quieted down to a steady patter of rain and low rumbles of thunder, and Hoseok is still there on the bed, having fallen asleep at the edge, lying down across it over Kihyun’s feet, still guarding Kihyun even now. He’s facing towards Kihyun, his lips slightly parted, his chest rising and falling with each deep, slow breath that he takes, and Kihyun can feel his warmth, his vanilla taking on an even sweeter, lighter scent in his sleep. And he looks so peaceful, so beautiful, it makes Kihyun feel like he’s still dreaming, and Kihyun smiles, content to watch Hoseok for a few moments as he lets his mind wander.

Kihyun can smell the rain like the entire world is cloaked in it, he can hear the water dripping into the cabin and the faint echoes of wind winding through the cracks in the wood. The world outside, the Earth itself doesn’t care about the compound, or about the cabins, or about the rituals, or about any rules that the elders try to force on it. The world out there is free and wild, as it was always meant to be, as Kihyun and Hoseok are meant to be, and it’s something to hope for, something worth fighting for, even if everything stands in their way, even if they die trying for it.

Eventually, Kihyun’s eyes start to feel heavy again, and he curls back under the covers, feeling warm and happy despite the fact that their situation hasn’t changed, despite the fact that their situation has actually gotten  _worse_ , more difficult, more challenging, more seemingly impossible.

But the last thing that Kihyun sees before he falls asleep is Hoseok. Hoseok, who stayed with him, who cared for him, who did everything that he could to help him, all day, and all night, and now, even asleep, he’s still caring for him.

And Kihyun vows, then, that he will take care of Hoseok too.


	4. Chapter 4

On their fourth morning in the cabin, Kihyun is the first to awaken.

He sits up slowly, quietly, still half-asleep and waking to almost complete silence save for Hoseok’s gentle snoring, Hoseok still deep in slumber and still lying across the foot of the bed. Kihyun’s body feels relaxed and warm, and Kihyun’s t-shirt, which had ridden up throughout the night, falls back down over his belly as he sits up while leaning on his palms, keeping his legs and feet still as he blinks slowly, careful not to wake Hoseok.

Kihyun sits in place for a few long moments, just watching Hoseok sleeping, watching as Hoseok breathes deeply, slow and peaceful, and Kihyun smiles a tiny, fond smile at the sight, stretching his arms up above his head and moaning happily, enjoying the streams of warm sunlight kissing his face.

Sunlight.

Kihyun looks up, and he can see now just how much damage that the storm did to the cabin. The elders had built the compound to withstand well enough during most storms, but at the end of the day, nature always wins, always does whatever it wants no matter how well people try to prepare for it, as Kihyun has come to realize. There are cracks and splits in the wood everywhere, all along the ceiling and all down the walls, and everything seems to be faintly wet, though Kihyun doesn’t recall feeling any rain on him while he was asleep, probably because the storm was nearly over by then, and because, well...he had been wrapped up in dreams of Hoseok. Of him and Hoseok. Of the two of them, together.

And yes, he’s been having such dreams since he got here, as part of his body’s biological reaction to the presence of an alpha, but these new dreams had been...different. In these dreams, Hoseok didn’t fuck him like an alpha impregnating an omega would, as per his dreams of the past few nights, but instead, made love to him, slow and deep in a field of flowers, under brilliant moonlight, like the people in all of the stories that Kihyun had read would, like people in love would. It was not his omega biology fantasizing, but rather, his human mind, his soft, romantic human mind imagining all of the possibilities, imagining the future.

And it had all been so vivid, so real, that Kihyun can still feel the Hoseok from his dreams on top of him and inside of him, and he can still feel the ghosts of so many heated, open-mouthed kisses all over his skin. Kihyun knows he can no longer ignore the dreams or brush them off as simple biology, not when they’re so beautiful, so perfect, not when they leave him aching for more, aching for Hoseok, the  _real_ Hoseok sleeping right now at the edge of the bed.

Kihyun blushes heavily and shakes his head quickly, turning his attention back to inspecting the damage.

Besides the rest of the cabin, there are still cracks in the door, too, from the three alphas who had tried to break in yesterday, and some of the cracks are wide enough that if he looks very, very carefully, Kihyun can even see outside all the way from the bed, can see out into the compound, out to the dusty pathways currently dark with water. The power is still out, but now, it doesn’t matter much. They’ve got natural light, and it explains why Kihyun, an early bird under normal circumstances, was the one to wake first this time.

Kihyun closes his eyes for a moment and takes a long, deep breath, enjoying the fresh air in his lungs after days of being cooped up in here with no taste of the outside. He can smell the rain-soaked grass drying in the sun, the damp soil finally able to breathe after drowning all night, the faintest hints of flowers in the breeze. He wonders where they are, the flowers. There are no flowers within the compound, and he’s never even seen one, not in real life, has only known their scent from beyond the walls. And that’s where they are now, he guesses, somewhere beyond the walls, waiting for him, waiting for  _them_. It’s springtime, after all.

Eventually, Kihyun manages to slip out of the bed without waking Hoseok, Kihyun very carefully pulling his feet out from under the alpha and giggling as Hoseok’s ears and tail twitch in his sleep. Kihyun walks slowly across the room, pausing only for a few moments to take a small peek through one of the larger cracks in the door to the outside, where he can see a bit of the damage the storm did to the surrounding area, knocking down trees and battering other nearby cabins. It will certainly be a mess to clean up, but that’s the compound’s problem, not their’s, and once they’re free, they’ll never have to think about wooden cabins and storm damage ever again.

Kihyun smirks to himself, then goes to the bathroom to wash up, using some of the water that Hoseok had collected for them last night in buckets from under the sink. The water is still faintly cool and feels nice on his face and on his ears as he does his best to quickly groom himself the best he can. When he’s all finished, Kihyun goes back over to the stove to make them their usual coffee, using a match from one of the drawers to light the gas stove without electricity.

As the water heats up, Kihyun sighs and turns back to look at Hoseok, regarding the alpha with a soft smile. Hoseok’s back is to him now, wide and muscular, and Kihyun falls into a bit of a trance watching it rise and fall with his breathing, Hoseok’s fluffy tail curled around him and his chest producing low, deep, soothing sounds, like he’s humming in his sleep. It almost sounds like music, like Hoseok is humming a song. And Kihyun won’t wake him; he’ll wait for Hoseok to wake on his own. Hoseok deserves to rest well, after everything that they’ve been through, after everything that he’s done for Kihyun.

Kihyun’s mind flashes back to yesterday, though he can only remember it in small bits and pieces, but he still blushes at the thought of how Hoseok had seen him like that, completely given over to his omega biology. No, not only that he had seen him like that, but that even so, Hoseok had remained calm and protective, and Hoseok had taken care of him,  _cared_  for him so well, so lovingly through it all. It’s not something that Kihyun takes for granted, and it’s not something that he can easily forget about or stop thinking about either. Kihyun focuses on Hoseok and sighs again, unsure what to make of the tight and fluttery feeling in his chest, a feeling like he’s breathless and though Hoseok is the cause, Kihyun feels like he’s also the only thing still tying him down to the Earth.

When he finishes preparing the coffee and sets it on the stove to stay warm, Kihyun goes about further inspecting the damage to the cabin from the storm, careful to stay quiet the entire time as he walks around on the old, creaky wooden floors. The water damage to the roof and to the walls is certainly an issue, but they’ll only be here for a few more days, so that will be something for the maintenance betas to worry about later and shouldn’t be much of an issue for the two of them unless another storm hits, which is unlikely given the typical weather patterns.

There shouldn’t be another storm to deal with until they’re long gone from the compound, and so, it’s really the cracks in the door that Kihyun is the most interested in. The door had been thick and solid, but now, the cracks are already wide enough that Kihyun could almost,  _almost_  slide his hand through. And with a few good knocks of the wind, or even a few good knocks from one of them from the inside, then maybe...just maybe...

Kihyun is interrupted from thoughts of escaping early, from thoughts of reaching his hand through one of the cracks to unlock the door and achieve their freedom, when he suddenly hears Hoseok moving around on the bed, the old bedframe creaking loudly under his shifting weight as Hoseok groans. Kihyun turns back to look at him, Kihyun’s feline ears perked up in attention and his tail flicking curiously behind him.

He sees that Hoseok has rolled over onto his back, a clear look of distress on his face. His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips are parted as he groans deeply, his feline ears flattened and his cheeks slightly flushed as he mumbles in his sleep, wordless at first. But as Kihyun steps closer, quietly, slowly, he begins to make out his own name spilling from Hoseok’s lips, and it’s then that Kihyun blushes all over again, wondering if Hoseok is having dreams of them  _together_  just as Kihyun had.

But any notions of Hoseok having  _that_  kind of dream quickly fade as the mumbles of Kihyun’s name begin to sound upset, frantic, like Hoseok is having a nightmare, and as Kihyun approaches even closer, he finds himself unsure of what to do. He had read once that you’re not supposed to wake someone walking in their sleep, but what about someone talking in their sleep, someone clearly having a nightmare?

As Kihyun stops right at the edge of the bed, hovering right over Hoseok, he can see that Hoseok’s tail is puffed up in agitation just like it was yesterday, and Hoseok’s arms are crossed tight over his chest. He’s gripping hard onto his own biceps, so hard that with Hoseok’s strength, it’s clear that he’s leaving heavy bruises all up and down his arms. Kihyun frowns, timidly bending over to gently nudge one of Hoseok’s shoulders.

“Hyung,” Kihyun whispers, trying to wake him quietly, but he gets no response, Hoseok just groaning, completely fallen into his nightmare.

Kihyun murmurs Hoseok’s name once, twice, several more times, whispers gentle, soothing words to try to urge him awake, but he gets no response, and in fact, the sound of Kihyun’s voice only seems to make Hoseok more distressed, more frantic as he murmurs Kihyun’s name over and over again, an increasingly desperate-sounding spill of Kihyun, Kihyun, Kihyun, Kihyunnie. He’s squeezing his own arms so tight, digging his blunt nails into his pale skin and pressing his forearms against each other so hard that Kihyun is worried that he might really hurt himself if he doesn’t stop.

Kihyun decides then that the best thing to do would be to try to carefully pry apart Hoseok’s arms, and so, Kihyun crawls on top of the covers, right on top of Hoseok lying across the foot of the bed. He straddles Hoseok’s hips and sits down gently right on top of Hoseok’s thick, muscular thighs for better leverage, and even as Kihyun uses all of his strength and the entirety of his diminutive body weight in attempt to move Hoseok’s arms, he quickly realizes that he has no chance against the alpha, unmovable and unbelievably strong even in his sleep.

“Hoseok,” Kihyun tries again, growing more worried, keeping a tight grip on Hoseok’s wrists. “Hyung, wake up. You’re having a nightmare. You’re hurting yourself.”

Hoseok doesn’t wake, but his legs bend up behind Kihyun and his knees press against Kihyun’s back out of reflex, Hoseok gripping his arms in even tighter, a light sweat breaking out along his forehead as he begins to moan, sounding even more upset with each passing moment.

“Hyung,” Kihyun says, louder than before. “Please wake up.” He leans forward slightly, and squeezes Hoseok’s wrists, and Hoseok squirms, the bed creaking beneath them from their movements, but still, Hoseok doesn’t wake, too deeply trapped in whatever awful nightmare he’s having to hear Kihyun’s cries.

“Hyung!” Kihyun exclaims, voice breaking. “Hyung, please!”

And then, Hoseok’s eyes flutter open, unfocused and hazy, and Hoseok goes completely still beneath Kihyun, Kihyun going completely still on top of Hoseok.

They look right into each other’s eyes, and there’s a long moment of silence, both of them just breathing heavily, nearly panting. And then, they both realize the suggestive position that they’re in at the same time. Kihyun sitting on top of Hoseok, Hoseok lying beneath him on his back, Kihyun’s ass hovering just barely over—

Kihyun’s entire face goes red, the blush spreading down over his neck and his chest, and he quickly scrambles off of Hoseok and off of the bed entirely, not sure what he was even thinking as he stands up on the floor and Hoseok sits up on the bed. Kihyun’s heart is racing, and Hoseok’s face is red, too, his hair messy from bedhead. They look at each other and both let out a little gasp as they look away, because suddenly, they can’t bear to make eye contact.

“I’m sorry,” Kihyun says quickly, looking down at the floor, deep into the wooden cracks as his mind short-circuits. He’s embarrassed, flustered, but he also feels strangely excited. Exhilarated? His heart won’t stop pounding and his breath feels short as he speaks. “I was just trying to wake you. You were having a nightmare and hurting yourself.”

He looks up then, and Hoseok looks down and begins examining his own arms, breathing heavily with eyebrows furrowed. Sure enough, Hoseok’s arms are already covered in red marks, sure to become finger-shaped bruises on his biceps and larger bruises on his forearms from pressing together. But thankfully, it doesn’t look like he did too much damage to himself. Hoseok looks up again at Kihyun, who’s still blushing like his face is on fire.

“It’s alright,” Hoseok breathes out. He breaks eye contact again and looks down at the blankets shyly, gripping the covers tight with his strong hands. “Thank you for trying anyway. You were right, I was having a nightmare.”

“I know,” Kihyun says, taking a timid step closer to the bed, closer to Hoseok. “I could tell. You were calling out my name.”

Hoseok blushes again, eyes wide. “Was I?” he asks, and Kihyun nods. Hoseok is silent for a moment before he continues, voice going quiet. “In my dream...I was so scared because...they were coming after you. And for some reason, my body was paralyzed, I couldn’t move. And they were going to hurt you.”

“Who was?” Kihyun asks, breath catching in his chest.

“The alphas,” Hoseok replies, frowning. “Dozens of them. Maybe hundreds. The guards and the elders and all the rest. We were out in the forest beyond the walls and they were chasing us. They wanted to take you back.”

Kihyun feels an ache in his chest. He had been so busy with his own thoughts and fantasies, his own idyllic dreams of a paradise awaiting them beyond the walls, that he hadn’t been thinking much the past few days about all that they still had to do to get there, and he supposes he had let himself forget how dangerous it really would be. It was easy, though, to forget how dangerous their situation really was when he wasn’t alone, when he was here with Hoseok. Nonetheless, Kihyun takes a slow, deep breath, and he gives Hoseok a small, reassuring smile.

“We’ll be alright,” he says. “We’ll be together and it will be difficult and dangerous, but whatever happens, we’ll make it through. It will be worth it in the end, and I know we’ll be able to protect each other.”

Hoseok doesn’t look entirely convinced, his handsome features shadowed in worry. “What if we don’t make it?” he says, voice quiet.

“Then at least we’ll go down fighting,” Kihyun says. “We’ll know we tried, that we didn’t go quietly and accept the life they tried to force upon us. We’ll rest well.”

Hoseok suddenly looks devastated, heartbroken. “I’m not going to let you die, Kihyun,” he says. “I’ll get you to safety and freedom if it’s the last thing I do. Even if I don’t make it, I’ll make sure you that you do. I swear it.”

“I’m not going to let you die either,” Kihyun says, frowning, his heart squeezing painfully even at the thought. “We’re both going to make it. I know it one-hundred percent.”

Hoseok pauses, silent for a long moment. “How can you be so sure?” he finally says, sitting up a little straighter, focused.

“Because,” Kihyun says. He nods his head in the direction of the door. “We’re going to be long gone before anyone even realizes that we’re missing.” Hoseok follows Kihyun’s gaze over towards the door, the sunlight shining brightly through the cracks, unmistakable.

“When we’re ready,” Kihyun goes on. “I bet I can reach my hand through there and unlock the door. We can leave whenever is the best time for us, we can sneak out under the cover of night.”

“We’ll still have the guards to deal with no matter what,” Hoseok says, turning back to look at Kihyun. Kihyun looks at him, too, and he can see the worry in Hoseok’s eyes, the remnants of the nightmare still shading his thoughts. The guards are certainly the most dangerous obstacle they’ll have to face, and they both know it.

“If we’re careful enough,” Kihyun says. “We might be able to sneak right past them. It’s our best shot to leave here quietly without a fight. The storm gave us an unexpected gift.”

Hoseok looks at him, extremely worried, but Kihyun just nods at him in reassurance before continuing.

“We should leave the morning of our seventh day,” Kihyun says. “Early in the morning, before sunrise, when the guards are changing shifts and distracted. The elders will be busy visiting the other mating cabins, and we’ll have some time before they come to ours. We’ll have a small window, but I think we can do it. It would be much easier than trying to fight them off when they come for us and alerting the entire compound to our plans.”

“It will be difficult,” Hoseok says. “And dangerous.”

“Yes,” Kihyun says. “But what choice do we have?”

“I could distract them,” Hoseok replies, thinking hard. “I could cause some sort of diversion and you could—”

“We’re leaving  _together_ , Hoseok,” Kihyun says sternly. “I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself for me. And I’m not going past those walls, or past those guards, without you by my side.”

Hoseok doesn’t respond, just sighs. “Alright,” he says. “In the meantime, we can prepare. And wait.”

“Prepare and wait,” Kihyun repeats, smiling. He looks down at the floor again, his tail swaying behind him as he fidgets with the hemline of his t-shirt. “Do you want me to take a look at your arms? I think I can help with the bruising, before it gets too bad.”

The mood shifts between them as Kihyun changes the subject, and when he looks back up, Hoseok is smiling at him, a slight pink tint to his cheeks and a warmth in his gaze that touches something deep in Kihyun’s chest. Hoseok nods, and Kihyun offers his hand to help Hoseok up from the bed, and Kihyun is still not used to the way that his heart thumps and his body tingles whenever they have physical contact, but he loves how warm and firm Hoseok’s hand feels wrapped around his own. He pulls Hoseok up, and there’s a moment where they’re standing just inches apart, looking right into each other’s eyes, until both of them shyly look away and chuckle nervously as they release each other’s hands.

They separate, and while Hoseok goes to wash up in the bathroom, Kihyun finishes making their coffee. Then, he gathers some ice still frozen in the ice box, wrapping it in a cloth to form a sort of makeshift ice pack, similar to how Hoseok had used a cloth soaked in ice-water to help Kihyun yesterday.

Kihyun suddenly blushes once more at the memory as he thinks yet again of all that had happened, still embarrassed at how Hoseok had seen him in such a state. It still feels so distant and hazy, like it didn’t really happen, like it was just another one of his wild dreams, a chaotic, brilliant mess stirred up from his subconscious. But as he keeps thinking about it, returning to the memories again and again and again, he also feels so happy, so warm, because Hoseok had done so much for him and had helped him get through it, protecting him and caring for him the entire time in a moment where everything was going wrong. Kihyun has mixed feelings, to say the least, and though they’re tangled together in a tightly-wound knot, he can’t help but cherish them as something profound and meaningful. Whatever it is that he’s feeling, he knows it’s real.

After a few moments lost in thought, Kihyun sits down on one of the blanket piles still on the floor, still intact, and sets down the coffee mugs beside him along with suppressants for the both of them to take with their coffee, Kihyun waiting patiently for Hoseok to join him. Hoseok comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later with the first aid kit that they had found in there on the second day and had planned to take with them on their journey, his face brighter and his hair slightly less messy, almost like he had quickly smoothed it down in attempt to look more presentable.

Hoseok sits down opposite Kihyun and is silent for a moment as they make eye contact, hesitant. As always, Kihyun is amused at how he always has to be the one to take the lead, the two of them defying stereotypes. Kihyun lets out a breath and then reaches forward to take one of Hoseok’s arms, pressing the ice pack onto his forearm, onto the forming bruises, and Hoseok winces a bit, closing one eye.

“It’s cold,” he says, and Kihyun laughs.

“It’s ice,” Kihyun says, holding Hoseok’s arm with one hand and pressing the ice down with the other. “It’ll help the bruising.”

“If you say so,” Hoseok says, looking at Kihyun from beneath his dark eyelashes. His eyes are soft and gentle, beautiful and full of sincerity. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” Kihyun replies. “You’ve already done so much for me, it’s the least I could do.” And with that, Kihyun’s face goes red, his heart skipping a beat. “About yesterday—”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed,” Hoseok says quickly, as if reading Kihyun's mind. “It was completely natural and nothing even happened. And of course, I’m just glad that you’re okay.”

“Thanks to you, I am,” Kihyun says, and they just look at each other, breathless and silent for a moment. Kihyun wonders how many more moments like this they’ll have, and how it is that they can keep saying so much without saying anything at all. Kihyun lifts the ice pack up before pressing it down again onto Hoseok’s forearm, now red and slightly wet from the cold of the ice.

“I could tell you stories to distract you, if you’d like?” Kihyun says, noticing how Hoseok winces every time the cold ice pack touches his skin. “That’s what the betas used to do for us when we needed medical treatment. They’d read from storybooks for children. Nice, happy things.”

“I wish you’d sing for me,” Hoseok says without missing a beat, his eyes shining with fondness.

“I told you that I would,” Kihyun replies, shy. “When we’re free from here. When we’re out there. I promise.”

“Alright,” Hoseok says, scooting slightly closer to Kihyun to give him a better hold on his forearm. “Stories it is, then. Nice, happy things.”

For the next few hours, Kihyun carefully tends to Hoseok’s bruising, naturally moving closer to him as he continues to press the ice pack gently onto each of his forearms, practically crawling into Hoseok’s lap as he moves onto his biceps, applying the ice until Hoseok’s skin is cold and wet and nearly numb, red instead of its usual white. Kihyun pauses to make them a light breakfast, too, as Hoseok waits patiently on his pile of blankets, pressing the ice to his arms himself, and the whole while, Kihyun murmurs little stories to Hoseok, old fairytales and folktales that the betas had told him long ago when he was a child, and some that he had read himself from books as he got older.

As Kihyun moves on and opens the first aid kit, he begins to apply medicinal lotion all up and down both of Hoseok’s arms, massaging it into his pale skin carefully, and Hoseok watches him with half-lidded eyes, watches him with this look that makes Kihyun feel at the same time both nervous and wonderful, both shy and overwhelmed, both terrified and completely, absolutely at ease.

And Hoseok comments on his stories, asks lots of questions and shows genuine interest, and as they talk and laugh together, Kihyun feels giddy, feels like he could never run out of things to talk about with Hoseok, and before they know it, their coffee and breakfast are gone and the morning is almost over, the midday sun shining brightly through the cracks in the door. They’ve taken their suppressants and yet, Kihyun swears he’s feeling their effects less and less the more time that he spends with Hoseok, and that his attraction to the alpha is growing stronger than ever before.

Kihyun makes them lunch and finishes his treatment by wrapping Hoseok’s arms carefully in soft bandages from his forearms all the way up to the lower half of his biceps, sitting back once he’s finished and letting out a satisfied sigh. There’s a long moment of silence between them then, the conversation naturally petering out, the sun shining directly onto their little spot, warming them up together, and Kihyun suddenly feels drowsy, sleepy, overcome with the feline urge to curl up for a nap in the sunbeams. He yawns, his eyes fluttering, and he lays down on his side, curling up on his little pile of blankets.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok asks, smiling, tilting his head slightly as he looks down at Kihyun. Hoseok’s tail sways on the floor, slowly back and forth, and Kihyun feels even more sleepy as he watches it dreamily for a few seconds. He sure does love Hoseok’s tail. And everything else about Hoseok.

“I think I need a nap,” Kihyun replies, closing his eyes. He curls in closer to himself, his own tail wrapping around his body. “Taking care of you all morning was exhausting.”

Kihyun’s eyes flutter open and Hoseok lets out a little chuckle, carefully lying down on his side too on his own pile of blankets and facing Kihyun. Their faces are quite close now with both of them lying down and facing each other, only a few inches apart as they look right at each other, curled up together in the sun. And it feels nice. Really, really nice.

“Mind if I join you?” Hoseok asks, and Kihyun grins, nodding.

They both look at each other fondly and fall to silence, and Kihyun feels lost in Hoseok’s gaze, unable to look away. There’s just something about Hoseok that’s so inherently comforting, and Kihyun has never felt such a strong bond, such a strong connection with anyone in his life. And the craziest thing about it is how effortless it all was, how effortless it’s all been, him and Hoseok fitting together and understanding each other like two perfect puzzles pieces. They may have been put together here by random, stupid chance or maybe it was something more like fate, maybe they were always meant to meet this way, or in any way, but however it happened, and for whatever reason it happened, Kihyun is glad it did. More than glad; at this point, he can’t imagine life without Hoseok, and he certainly can’t imagine a future without him. The thing is, Hoseok  _is_  Kihyun’s future, he realizes now.

“Hey Hoseok,” Kihyun says suddenly, his voice quiet.

“Yeah?” Hoseok replies, his voice a gentle murmur. It feels like they’re sharing something secret and special between them, and Kihyun supposes that that's exactly what they’re doing, and that the time has come to bring everything out into the open.

Kihyun doesn’t continue for a few seconds, trying to collect himself, trying to find the words, but the more he tries to think, the more he tries to make sense of it, the more confusing, the more chaotic it becomes, and so he lets his heart, his feelings take over, knowing that they’ll bring forth the truth, as they have from the very beginning.

“I have a confession to make,” Kihyun says, not sure where his sudden bravery is coming from, but he feels like it’s finally time to speak aloud all that he’s been feeling the past few days. He sighs, blinking slowly. It all seemed so complicated before but the truth is, it’s all quite simple, really.

“I like you, hyung,” Kihyun says. “I’ve never liked someone as much as I like you.”

He pauses and looks at Hoseok, watching for his reaction, the confession coming out so easily. But Hoseok just looks back at him, eyebrows slightly furrowed and lips slightly parted, and Kihyun isn’t sure what to make of it, so he continues, a little breathless.

“I’ve been sheltered all my life,” Kihyun goes on. “Isolated. I’ve never had someone show me such care and kindness as you have these past few days. And I already feel like I know you so well, and like you know me so well. And I can’t help but think that, if I had been given a choice...I would’ve chosen you.”

Kihyun pauses again, looking right at Hoseok and giving him a tiny smile, watching as Hoseok’s eyes light up, and it looks like Hoseok is a little breathless, too.

“I  _choose_  you,” Kihyun says. “And now, I can’t imagine going forward without you. It’s crazy, but I think I might be falling for you, Hoseok. Or, I think I may have already fallen.”

He stops then, bracing to see how Hoseok will react to his sudden confession. Kihyun had never thought that he’d have it in him to be so bold, never would’ve imagined that he’d have the courage to confess his feelings to someone, and to an alpha no less. But with Hoseok, things are different, as they’ve been the entire time. With Hoseok, he feels brave and confident enough to do such bold, courageous things. And as he waits for Hoseok to say something, Kihyun’s heart warms, satisfied, because he already knows what Hoseok will say.

Hoseok lets out a soft breath, like a sigh, and he gives Kihyun this look, full of fondness, full of affection, open and true, and Kihyun can understand Hoseok’s heart now just as well as his own. He thinks he’s been able to understand it since the very beginning. Hoseok keeps looking at him, his lips slightly parted, his eyes bright, and Kihyun wants to drown in them, wants to drown in everything that’s Hoseok.

“I have a confession to make too,” Hoseok says, and his voice is the softest that Kihyun has ever heard it. He pauses for a long, long moment before he sighs, his voice a murmur, gentle like the sunlight on their skin.

“The truth is,” Hoseok says. “I fell for you the moment we met. I think you’re the most amazing, most beautiful person, Kihyunnie.”

They keep looking at each other, and Kihyun feels an intense rush of emotions pushing behind his eyes. His chest feels tight, but it’s wonderful, and his mind feels heavy and dizzy, but he doesn’t want it to stop. He thinks about all of the books that he had read, about falling in love, about being in love, strong and beautiful and reciprocated. But they were all wrong, or rather, none of them could compare, none of them could even come close to describing what it really feels like, what Kihyun feels right now in this moment.

“The truth is, even now, I’m still falling for you,” Hoseok goes on, and it’s then that he timidly reaches out to stroke Kihyun’s face, laying his large hand gently on Kihyun’s cheek. Kihyun reaches his own hand up to rest on top of Hoseok’s, giving it a gentle, loving squeeze. He feels like he might faint from all that he’s feeling inside, from the intensity gripping at his heart.

“The more I get to know you,” Hoseok says, “the more I think that it was something like destiny, the two of us meeting like this. And maybe it wasn’t destiny the way we think of it, some great force guiding the universe, but I do believe we were always meant to meet, somehow, some way, some kind of destiny.”

“Destiny,” Kihyun repeats, his eyes fluttering, his voice so quiet that it comes out like a whisper in the tiny bit of space between them.

“I don’t know much about the world out there either,” Hoseok says. “But I know that I only want to see it with you.”

And the stories did get one thing right, because Kihyuns swears that time stops in that moment, the two of them looking right into each other’s eyes, an invisible pull working between them, drawing them in closer to each other as they lie there on their little blanket cushions on the floor of the old, run-down cabin, the two of them bathed in sunlight and finally able to say these things to each other that they’ve wanted to say for so long. And everything is about to change between them, everything has already changed between them, and yet, it feels so effortless, so simple and quiet, a natural conclusion to a natural sequence of events.

As they move in closer, time restarts, but moves slowly, impossibly slow, stretched out to infinity, and Kihyun finds himself leaning forward slowly, so slowly, his eyes going half-lidded, and Hoseok is so close to him that he’s all that Kihyun can see, and then Hoseok is leaning in too, bathing Kihyun in soft, sweet vanilla, until there’s barely any space at all between them, and Kihyun is blushing, they’re both blushing, and Kihyun’s heart is pounding loud and fast—

_Bang!_  Something outside loudly collides with the front door, shattering their perfect, beautiful moment, and Kihyun and Hoseok immediately separate, both sitting up and turning their attention to the front of the cabin, Kihyun’s heart still racing, his mind still foggy as his eyes fall onto the wide crack showing them a sliver of the outside world.

The banging continues, hard and loud against the cabin door, and the scent returns, that awful, now familiar scent of the three alphas from yesterday, obviously back for another attempt at breaking into the cabin. Kihyun turns to look at Hoseok in worry, in fear and confusion, and Hoseok is already sitting up straight, his pheromones changing and his tail puffing up again. Kihyun’s eyes fall to the bandages that he had so carefully wrapped around Hoseok’s arms, and his heart aches at the thought of Hoseok’s injuries getting worse, and Kihyun decides that he won’t be the cause of Hoseok’s pain any longer, and so he quickly stands up before Hoseok has the chance to, Kihyun shaking his head as Hoseok looks up at him in concern.

“I’ll take care of this,” Kihyun says, determined, and Hoseok follows him to stand up carefully, wincing a little from the pain in his arms.

“Kihyunnie...” Hoseok starts but Kihyun just shakes his head again.

“You’ve done enough for me already,” Kihyun says. “This is my mess.”

Hoseok looks unconvinced but doesn’t protest further, and he stays close anyway, guarding from behind Kihyun as Kihyun approaches the front door, Kihyun stopping only briefly to grab a large pan from the top of the stove. Despite his show of determination, Kihyun is really and truly scared, because these are alphas they’re dealing with, alphas who are angry and irritated, and he’s still only an omega, but with Hoseok behind him, he feels safe no matter what, protected.

As he peeks through the cracks in the door, Kihyun can make out all three of the alphas, all big and muscular like Hoseok, but much meaner-looking, with raggedy fur on their tails and ears, scars and scratches from what must have been dozens of violent fights, and Hoseok stays right behind Kihyun, ready to step in as Kihyun moves closer. The alphas must smell them, because they start to react to Kihyun’s scent, and even though he’s no longer in heat, an omega’s scent is still distinctive enough for an alpha to recognize immediately. Kihyun knows he can’t show any hesitation, can’t show any sign of weakness, can’t let things fall apart, not now, not when they’re so close to having everything that they wanted. Not when they’re so close to their freedom, their precious happiness outside the walls. He refuses to let these bastards take away any more of their time, energy, or happiness.

“You’re too late!” Kihyun exclaims, gripping the pan hard in both hands. He stays calm and firm, and as his mind races, a wild idea suddenly comes to his head.

“We’ve already mated and I’ve been claimed,” Kihyun continues, loud and confident, and he hears Hoseok let out a surprised little noise behind him, and Kihyun can sense his blush at the implication. But thankfully, Hoseok takes the hint and stays still and quiet, playing along with Kihyun’s lying, because a mated alpha and omega are more powerful and fierce together than even a dozen unmated alphas off their suppressants. Hoseok doesn’t say anything, but he stands firm, and Kihyun can hear the faintest rumbles of a growl that he knows the alphas on the other side of the door can hear too. Still, the alphas are there to push their luck, and not backing down.

“Can’t smell it on you,” one of the alphas says, their voice a nasty-sounding snarl. “You smell like a virgin. Show us your claim mark.”

“It’s true! And I don’t have to show you bastards anything!” Kihyun continues, and he hits the pan against the door with all of his strength, the pan making a loud clanging noise against the wood, startling everyone including himself. His heart beats hard, full of adrenaline.

“We’ve already mated! I’ve been claimed!” Kihyun exclaims again. “And if you don’t leave, I’ll make you leave.  _We’ll_  make you leave! You’ll regret ever coming here!”

At that moment, Hoseok comes up from behind to stand next to him, and Kihyun can sense and can smell the shift in his pheromones, palpable and intense, similar to what had happened yesterday. And Hoseok doesn’t move an inch or say a word, but with hybrids, and especially with alphas, such things aren’t necessary. As always, it all comes down to chemicals and instinct, and with Hoseok's undeniably intimidating presence, with his puffed-up tail and angry alpha pheromones, and Kihyun himself an omega ready to put up a fight, gripping the pan tightly in both hands and standing his ground, it seems that the alphas outside recognize what’s sure to be a losing battle, especially because they’re back on their suppressants, meaning they don’t have the same raw instinct urging them on as they did before. Three unmated alphas on their suppressants stand no chance against an alpha protecting his claimed omega.

And so, it only takes a few minutes of tight, raw tension before the alphas snarl in defeat and begin to slink away, taking their aggressive energy and their nasty, angry smell with them, and soon, all that’s left is Kihyun and Hoseok and the cracks through the door to the outside, Hoseok’s pheromones settling back to the soft vanilla that Kihyun knows and loves more than anything else. The intensity dissolves, and Kihyun drops the pan to the floor with a loud clang, not caring at all when his heart is pounding so hard and his blood is rushing hot through his veins, and he turns to Hoseok with a satisfied smirk, Hoseok grinning in response.

“You’re just always full of surprises, aren’t you?” Hoseok asks fondly, and before he can say another word, Kihyun is taking Hoseok’s hand in his own and leading Hoseok to the bed, Hoseok’s eyes immediately going wide and his lips parting in surprise.

“W-what are you doing?” Hoseok asks, blushing furiously as Kihyun walks him right up to the edge of the bed before releasing his hand and turning around to face him, velvety tail flicking back and forth behind him in triumph.

“We deserve our nap, don’t we?” Kihyun asks. “And you, especially, deserve to sleep on an actual bed.”

Hoseok sighs, expression falling. “I don’t think it’s such a good idea,” he says, suddenly shy. “What if—”

“Whatever happens,” Kihyun says, reaching for Hoseok’s hand again and giving it a gentle squeeze. “We can just go with it. I want this. I really do. I can say with full certainty that I want you to sleep on this bed with me, Hoseok.”

Hoseok blushes again and doesn’t move, and so Kihyun releases his hand and takes the lead, crawling on top of the bed before rolling over to lie on his back, his head propped up on a few pillows stacked on top of each other and his legs bent and spread wide in front of him in what he’s sure is a positively tantalizing image for poor Hoseok, especially now that they’ve acknowledged their feelings for each other. Kihyun smiles flirtatiously, having way too much fun driving Hoseok crazy with his omega charms. Hoseok looks down at him and swallows hard, hard enough that his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat, but he stays silent, his nose twitching and his tail swaying back and forth behind him.

“Don’t worry, it’ll only be sleeping,” Kihyun coos teasingly, batting his eyelashes and patting the spot next to him on the bed, then running his hand back and forth over the covers. “So just get up here and sleep with me.”

Hoseok’s face goes bright red, adorable, but he cautiously approaches, moving around the edge of the bed to the other side and slowly crawling on top of the covers to lay beside Kihyun, the bed creaking loudly, so loudly that Kihyun thinks the whole compound can probably hear it. As Hoseok lies on his back awkwardly, Kihyun rolls over onto his side, resting his cheek on the pillow while Hoseok stays stiff and still and silent, tense and nervous. Kihyun swears he can hear Hoseok’s heartbeat again, or maybe it’s his own, because despite his boldness, despite his façade of flirtatious bravado, Kihyun is internally screaming from their proximity and the fact that after four long days here they are, finally together. On the bed. It seems unreal, and Kihyun wonders for a moment if they’re still asleep on the floor, on their little blanket cushions, and if the whole mess with the alphas returning never even happened.

But it is real, he and Hoseok are here and lying next to each other. Still, something seems off. Despite his tendency for cleanliness and order, with all that had been going on with them in the cabin since they got here, Kihyun had not bothered to make the bed the past few days, opting to leave the very top blankets bunched up at the foot of the bed. It doesn’t feel right, not now, and so he sits up briefly to pull the covers over the both of them, Hoseok anxiously sitting up as the top blankets fall over both of their laps. His eyes find Kihyun’s as Kihyun lies down on his side again, and Kihyun wordlessly tells him to do the same with a sweet smile. Hoseok hesitates, but then joins Kihyun lying down on his side and facing him.

They both just look at each other in silence for a few moments, separated only by a few inches of space between them, just as they had been before, but now, the mood is completely different. The sunlight has shifted and moved and is now shining on the bed, relaxing and warm and perfect, and the honest truth is that despite his cheeky flirting, Kihyun really does just want to sleep with Hoseok right now, literally  _just_  sleep. Kihyun’s eyes go half-lidded as they lie there sharing breath between them, his vision going blurry as he starts to drift off, little by little losing himself to inevitable slumber.

“Rest well, hyung,” he murmurs, his eyes slipping closed, and he instinctively curls up more into himself, moving slightly closer to Hoseok, seeking out his warmth, and Hoseok does the same, Hoseok murmuring sweet words and Hoseok’s vanilla swaddling him tight like another blanket all around them.

Having Hoseok sleeping beside him is soothing, comforting on a subconscious level, and Kihyun slips off into peaceful nothingness, his nap deep and dreamless. He only wakes after what must be a few hours later, and it’s almost evening, the sun slipping away fast and the room nearly dark and slightly chilly from the cool evening air coming in from outside through the cracks in the door and all over the cabin, and Kihyun is treated to a few moments of watching Hoseok sleep until Hoseok is waking up too, his eyes fluttering open, as if he had sensed Kihyun watching him.

“What should we do now?” Hoseok murmurs, his voice deep with sleep. It’s incredibly sexy and Kihyun nearly swoons.

“We’re awake, but it’s almost time for bed, anyway,” Kihyun says, letting out a little chuckle, because they had really just sat around or slept through most of the day, truly living the feline lifestyle. But then again, there isn’t much left for them to do at this point but bide their time. Bide their time and nurture their feelings, it seems.

Hoseok lets out a little sigh, deep and sleepy and contented, but also disappointed as he sits up and pushes the covers off of him. He sits there for a few moments, rubbing one of his biceps and mumbling something about them taking their suppressants. Kihyun had completely forgotten all about that.

And as Kihyun sits up and looks at Hoseok sitting there beside him, he can’t help but think that Hoseok is so beautiful in the barely-there glow of twilight, and the bed is so warm, and suddenly, Kihyun just can’t bring himself to let Hoseok go. He reaches for Hoseok’s hand, resting his own on top of it for the briefest moment before withdrawing it back.

And when Hoseok turns to look at him in confusion, Kihyun reaches forward and grabs the collar of Hoseok’s shirt, pulling him in for a deep, perfect kiss, their eyes slipping closed in unison.

The sun sinks below the horizon outside, and everything changes between them once more, or rather, everything reaches the point it was always meant to.

_Destiny._


	5. Chapter 5

Kihyun had never imagined that he could be so overwhelmed by just a simple, innocent kiss. 

After all, what was a kiss, really? Just two pairs of lips pressing together. Kihyun had always thought that it was a bit silly how everyone always made such a fuss over something so trivial. And yet, as Kihyun and Hoseok share their first, sweet kiss, sitting there facing each other on that tiny, creaky old bed with the soft covers resting over their laps, the room silent and dark and cool from the nighttime air drifting in through the cracks in the front door, it doesn’t seem trivial at all, not in the slightest. It seems monumental, magnificent, like the most important thing that has ever happened in Kihyun’s rather bleak, insignificant life. And Kihyun supposes that it is. 

Meeting Hoseok, being with him now, it’s the greatest, most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to him. What had started out as something certain to bring him nothing but misery had instead brought him the greatest happiness he had ever known. In fact, he had never known that he could feel so happy, that this level of joy was even possible. 

And as he kisses Hoseok for the first time, it seems like everything is turned on its head, like everything that he had ever known changes all at once, like an entirely new world has opened up just for the two of them to share and to experience together, and Kihyun feels an intense warmth wash over him, a profound relief roll through him in waves, coming up from deep inside of his chest and spreading itself out all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes, to every atom of his body like one great, heavy sigh. 

Their lips are just slightly opened slotted together in their first kiss, but they don’t move right away, just revel in the sensation of warm mouth pressed against warm mouth, fit together perfectly, both of them holding their breath with minds empty of all coherent thoughts, both of their eyes closed in soft bliss, swept up in the sudden, magnificent surprise of it all that neither were expecting. 

And when the two of them separate after a long moment with a soft, wet noise, their lips lingering, sweetly aching from the touch, it’s purely automatic, effortless, for them to look at each other, eyes meeting for only a second, full of emotion, full of what feels like the weight of the world, before they close their eyes and move right back in to kiss a second time, and a third, and a fourth, and a fifth time, each kiss unique and special, each kiss like falling in love all over again. 

Kihyun grips tightly onto the collar of Hoseok’s t-shirt as they keep kissing, Hoseok’s lips unbelievably soft and warm and wet against Kihyun’s own, and Hoseok even tastes like vanilla and sugar, sweet and comforting, and with each kiss, one after another after another, Kihyun feels like he’s sinking deeper and deeper, like he’s drowning, swallowed up by his own feelings, consumed by Hoseok’s feelings in return that he can feel now as strong and as clear as his own. Their lips push and pull together smoothly each time they kiss and separate, tilting their faces in tandem, the kisses growing wetter and more passionate, longer, deeper, audible as they fall into a rhythm, soft moans spilling from their lips as they get lost in each other and soon tune out everything around them. 

It’s only after their kisses start to grow lighter and softer, both of them lightheaded and not just from lack of breathing, that they finally pause and separate, but just barely, their lips hovering over each other and their foreheads touching, and they both keep their eyes closed as they catch their breath, just basking in it as they pant heavily into each other’s mouths, noses brushing and both of the deeply flushed. Kihyun feels like he could swoon, like he’s settled into a moment of pure magic, better than all of the stories, a real, genuine moment of bliss. 

Kihyun had had so many dreams, so many fantasies spurred on by his omega biology, where he and Hoseok did so much more than kiss, where he and Hoseok had done all manner of filthy, wild things, but actually doing this, actually kissing Hoseok here and now and of his own free will, and having it be so pure, so sweet and romantic and lovely, is something else entirely, something that Kihyun never could’ve imagined, something so much more than any fever dream could ever even hope to be. And Kihyun feels too much, like he could collapse from it. He can’t believe that this is finally happening, and yet, it feels like the most inevitable thing in the world. 

They keep their eyes closed, but Kihyun finally releases his tight grip on Hoseok’s shirt and lowers his hand timidly to rest flat on Hoseok’s firm chest, his fingers spread out right over Hoseok’s pounding heart, him and Hoseok still breathing together deeply and in sync, both of them unsure what to say, unsure what to do, caught up in their precious moment with only their instincts to guide them. Hoseok’s heart is beating hard and fast beneath Kihyun’s fingertips, and when Hoseok speaks, Kihyun’s fingers curl in reflex, Hoseok’s voice a soft tickle on his lips and a low rumble in his chest. 

“Ki,” Hoseok murmurs, and it sounds incomplete, like he wants to say something more, but his voice drifts off into nothing, like a pleasured sigh, and he doesn’t finish his thought, though he doesn’t have to, not when Kihyun can understand him perfectly. 

Both of their eyes flutter open at the same time and they look right at each other, the two of them sharing some indescribable connection transcending everything, locked into each other and unable to let go, and they haven’t even mated yet, but Kihyun feels like he and Hoseok already share the unbreakable bond between a mated alpha and omega, the two of them already like a mated couple that’s been together for many years. And beyond their shared feelings, Kihyun knows exactly what Hoseok is thinking behind his deep, beautiful eyes. 

He’s wondering why they waited so long to do this. Kihyun is wondering, too. 

Soon, they’ll both begin to feel the effects of skipping their suppressants, having now gone more than twelve hours since their last dose, the consequences coming fast and hard and powerful and without mercy. Kihyun’s heat will begin, shortly followed by Hoseok’s rut, both intense chemical reactions triggered by their proximity and increased physical contact as their biology recognizes that mating has begun, and from there, it will simply be a matter of losing themselves to each other and letting their natural instincts take over to guide them through it. But the truth is, Kihyun is ready for it now, and he wants it now more than anything else. And as their eyes slip closed and their lips meet once more, Kihyun knows with everything that he is that Hoseok wants it too. 

They want each other now, to be close and connected in the most intimate of ways, to give themselves to each other fully, to do what they were put here to do, but not because of any rules or rituals, not for the good of the community or for life itself, but because they’ve now made the choice to do it, and they’ve made that choice for themselves and themselves only. For each other. And the choice makes all the difference, because the choice is what makes it real and true and more beautiful than Kihyun could’ve ever imagined. They aren’t just another alpha and omega forced together by circumstances beyond their control and resigned to give in to their animal nature at the expense of their humanity. 

Kihyun and Hoseok are more than just attracted to each other, are more than simply their alpha and omega biology urging them on, pushing them towards each other to fulfill a biological instinct. 

Kihyun and Hoseok are in love. 

What Kihyun and Hoseok have, it’s real, true love. 

They adjust slightly on the bed as they start to kiss again, Kihyun’s hand on Hoseok’s chest sliding back up and over his shoulder, wrapping up the back of Hoseok’s neck, his other hand joining after a few moments, Kihyun lacing his fingers together at Hoseok’s nape while Hoseok’s hands have found their way to rest gently, timidly on Kihyun’s waist on both sides, and Kihyun feels like he could float away, breathless and filled with something hot and thick but light as air inside of him, his face warm and his lips parting as Hoseok sighs into his mouth with each kiss. 

Kihyun runs his thumbs over the soft skin at the back of Hoseok’s neck as they kiss even slower, more passionately than before, each kiss full and wet and deep, and they start to open their mouths against each other, pressing their tongues up against each other and licking over the inside seams of each other’s lips, and Kihyun can’t breathe from the heat, from the moans trapped in his throat with nowhere to go and his chest growing tighter and tighter as his head spins with desire. 

They separate again after a few more minutes, but this time, they give each other several inches of space to catch their breath, the two of them both panting and breathing heavily into the air between them, lips pink and swollen and tender. They open their eyes slowly to look at each other again, and they just can’t seem to stop looking at each other, sharing all of their emotions in complete silence, and the affection shining in Hoseok’s gaze as he stares into Kihyun’s eyes, the fondness, is so deep and so intense, so all-encompassing, that Kihyun’s own eyes flutter, his lips parting, as if he’s keening under the weight of it, and the two of them communicate silently, but effortlessly about what to do next. 

They move around and adjust carefully, the bed creaking beneath them as they crawl around in the dark, the covers barely lit by the glow of the moon from outside, until Hoseok is sitting back against the headboard, reclined against a stack of pillows, and Kihyun is climbing into his lap, straddling Hoseok’s hips with his knees bent beneath him on the bed, resting his ass on Hoseok’s pelvis while Hoseok’s legs bend up slightly behind him and Kihyun’s hands move to grip tightly onto Hoseok’s broad shoulders. 

And Hoseok’s face is beautiful, breathtaking in the moonlight, his eyes bright and the flush on his cheeks splashed down his neck to the top of his chest, and Kihyun can’t see what Hoseok sees right now, how Hoseok sees _him_ , but he can only imagine with the reverent, adoring look in Hoseok’s eyes, like he’s in worship, and how they go half-lidded as Hoseok winds his arms around Kihyun’s waist and slides his palms up Kihyun’s back, Kihyun reaching up from Hoseok’s shoulders to cup Hoseok’s face in his hands, running his thumbs slowly over Hoseok’s cheeks, soft and supple like silk. Hoseok looks at Kihyun like Kihyun is an ethereal being, like Kihyun is an angel, and all Kihyun can do in that moment is look into Hoseok’s eyes and tell him the same, that Hoseok is his angel too. 

There’s none of the desperation or the wild, animalistic passion that had come with all of the stories that Kihyun had heard and had read about mating, nor the crackling, uncontrollable, uncontained desire that Kihyun had experienced in his fever dreams and in his heats over the years. Instead, right now, Kihyun feels remarkably peaceful, feels soothed and comforted, in total bliss and satisfaction like his heart and his soul are at absolute contentment. Heaven. Nirvana. Paradise. Kihyun isn’t sure what to call it, but he knows he’s reached it here with Hoseok as he holds Hoseok’s face in his hands and Hoseok holds Kihyun’s body in his, Hoseok’s strong arms warm and firm wound around Kihyun’s petite frame, his fingers curled slightly in the fabric at the back of Kihyun’s shirt. 

They look at each other silently for a long moment, their breathing and their heartbeats falling into perfect sync, and it’s such a lovely feeling, such a _powerful_ feeling, that Kihyun thinks that he might cry. He can feel the pressure pushing at the backs of his eyes, all of his emotions, everything that he’s felt for Hoseok swelling up inside of him, amplifying and rising to the surface. But instead, he pulls Hoseok’s face towards him and kisses him again, gentle and sweet, achingly innocent and pure, their kisses like butterflies on flower petals, and Hoseok’s hands move slowly on Kihyun’s back as Kihyun leans deeper and deeper into each kiss. 

They kiss like that for a long, long time, slow and indulgent, until Kihyun feels lost in a trance, almost lulled to sleep, until Hoseok pulls away from Kihyun’s lips to press a soft, sweet kiss to Kihyun’s cheek, followed by a trail of soft, barely-there kisses along Kihyun’s jawline and down to his neck, Hoseok pulling Kihyun in closer and burying his face in Kihyun’s throat as Kihyun squirms on Hoseok’s lap and tilts his head, baring his neck obediently and threading his fingers through Hoseok’s soft hair, Kihyun’s face flushed deep red as he feels Hoseok’s lips brushing over his sensitive skin. 

Kihyun can smell Hoseok’s alpha pheromones beginning to come through much stronger and sharper than usual, and Kihyun’s eyes flutter and his lips fall open in a string of quiet moans as Hoseok starts to mouth at his neck, slow, full, deep, wet, pressing his tongue to Kihyun’s pulse point as he sucks Kihyun’s hot skin into his mouth, and Kihyun soon feels overwhelmed again, on the edge of oblivion. 

Hoseok keeps making these rich, low noises from deep inside his chest, each one flooding Kihyun with a wave of flickering electricity, tingles at every point of contact between them, and Kihyun tugs at Hoseok’s hair hard, feels the twitch in Hoseok’s fluffy feline ears as Hoseok’s hands move to slide up underneath the back of Kihyun’s shirt to rest on Kihyun’s bare skin, curling slightly at Kihyun’s shoulder blades to pull him in even closer, Kihyun’s eyebrows furrowing as he moans loud and long while Hoseok bites down gently into his throat. It’s the exact spot where Hoseok will leave his claim mark later, and they both know it. 

But for now, Hoseok’s warm hands on his back and Hoseok’s mouth on his neck and Hoseok’s body wrapped around him are already more than Kihyun can manage, and Kihyun’s eyes start to grow wet as hot arousal constricts itself around his lower body, plunging itself deep into his core, and he begins to roll his body forward against Hoseok’s, craving closer physical contact even while they’re both still clothed, Kihyun whimpering softly as he rolls his hips and rubs his ass over Hoseok’s pelvis over and over again, and Kihyun is both thrilled and terrified of how much he’s already feeling, at the very start of mating when his heat hasn’t even begun yet. Is this really what mating is like? 

No, it’s not just because he’s mating. It’s because it’s Hoseok. 

While Kihyun continues rolling forward and rubbing himself against Hoseok, Hoseok lifts his face from Kihyun’s throat and swiftly moves back up to capture Kihyun’s lips, stealing the breath from Kihyun’s lungs and momentarily stopping him in his tracks, Kihyun freezing in place and keening, moaning into Hoseok’s mouth, and Hoseok’s hands under Kihyun’s shirt start to travel back down Kihyun’s body, down, down, down, until they slip past the waistband of Kihyun’s underwear to cup Kihyun’s bare ass, and Kihyun whimpers, Hoseok licking over his mouth before returning to Kihyun’s neck, nuzzling his face in Kihyun’s warm skin and taking a deep breath, breathing in Kihyun’s scent. And as Hoseok starts to squeeze him, firm and tight, Kihyun cries out, unable to contain himself, his face going deep red as Hoseok squeezes and squeezes and squeezes, pulling Kihyun in towards his own body, rocking him forward in a gentle rhythm. 

Kihyun moans loudly, crystal tears spilling down his cheeks from Hoseok squeezing him while working on his throat, and it’s then that Kihyun starts to feel something hot and intense crawling up from the depths of his belly, something that he’s never quite felt before. Hoseok’s arms around him are so big and strong, and his hands cupping Kihyun’s ass are slightly rough, just the right amount, and his mouth on Kihyun’s throat is so sweet, so perfect, and just like Kihyun is starting to tremble in Hoseok’s arms, Hoseok is shaking, too. Kihyun can feel it, can feel the heat and the pheromones flooding Hoseok’s body, can feel Hoseok’s blood rushing through his veins with the pounding of his heartbeat. 

And Kihyun is so far gone, so lost in his own thick swirl of pleasure, that he isn’t expecting it at all when Hoseok runs his fingers over the split of Kihyun’s ass once, twice, three, times, brushing just over his entrance and right up to the underside of Kihyun’s tail, and Kihyun cries out, his whole body convulsing and his feline ears flattening on his head as he squeezes his fingers hard in Hoseok’s hair and bites down into one of Hoseok’s feline ears to suppress his cries. And that strange new feeling surges upward, crawls up through Kihyun’s chest to the bottom of his throat, and he can’t breathe anymore with how thick it is, making his head spin and his heart jump, like he’s been filled to the brim with honey, or in this case, vanilla. Hoseok’s sweet, thick vanilla. 

And it’s then that it happens. It’s then that Kihyun starts to purr. 

It starts out soft, like the faintest murmur far in the distance, but it grows louder and deeper by the second, until it feels like Kihyun’s whole chest is vibrating with it, and it’s all that they can hear, and Hoseok’s hands go still on Kihyun’s ass and his mouth goes still on Kihyun’s throat, and Hoseok leans back for a moment away from Kihyun to look at him, Kihyun’s eyes fluttering open slowly, his lips parted as his chest and throat produce the deep, loud, almost musical flood of sound. 

They make eye contact and share a heated look between them, Hoseok’s eyes glazed over with desire but filled with warmth, both of them knowing the significance of this moment. Purring is a completely involuntary reaction to physical stimulation, and hybrids are only able to purr when they are at their happiest and most content, when they feel completely safe, peaceful, and relaxed, when they’re at their most euphoric. And Kihyun has never purred before in his life, didn’t even know he had it in him to purr, but he’s purring now. He’s purring with Hoseok. He’s purring _because_ of Hoseok. 

But even as they stare at each other, completely still in all of their movements, the hot, biting arousal retreating back down to softer, warmer feelings, Kihyun can’t stop purring. It just feels so _good_ , like he’s experiencing one long, gentle, stretched-out orgasm, it’s an indescribable kind of pleasure, bubbling up from deep within, and it’s so loud that Kihyun would’ve thought that it would be embarrassing, but it’s not, not at all. In fact, Kihyun hopes that the entire world can hear what Hoseok is doing to him, how Hoseok is making him purr. 

And Hoseok is giving him this look, full of fondness shining in his eyes, full of love and comfort, and Kihyun can’t resist, then, leaning forward to brush his nose lightly against Hoseok’s, Hoseok letting out a soft sigh of a noise in response, his hands slipping out of Kihyun’s underwear and sliding back up and under Kihyun’s shirt, Kihyun sliding his hands down from Hoseok’s hair to his shoulders, then down to his chest, slowly, his fingers delicate as he trails down Hoseok’s abs, until he reaches the hemline of the shirt resting just past Hoseok’s hips. And Kihyun feels dazed, drunk as he urges the shirt up, helping Hoseok to pull it off to reveal what seems like miles and miles of Hoseok’s pale, beautiful skin and firm, sculpted muscles. The shirt ends up somewhere on the floor, but naturally, Kihyun can’t be bothered to pay attention that right now. 

Hoseok rests his hands flat on either side of him on the bed, leaning back slightly on his palms and allowing Kihyun the opportunity to fully revel in the splendor of his beautiful body, something that Kihyun had been secretly fantasizing about since the moment he saw Hoseok naked on their second day. He feels a little shy, now, having Hoseok finally so open like this, finally giving him everything he wants and has been craving so desperately, but he knows that Hoseok must feel the same way, a bit cautious, not sure what to do with it now that he’s finally gotten what he’s been so desperate for. 

They make eye contact, and Hoseok just smiles at him, eyes half-lidded and sultry, sensual as he gives Kihyun a little nod of encouragement, and Kihyun realizes now that perhaps he was not the only one who had been flirting throughout all of their time spent together over the past few days. He thinks back to Hoseok walking around topless seemingly without purpose and can’t help but let out a little giggle, because Hoseok didn’t seem to know much about flirting, didn’t seem to know that being nervous and shy the entire time was not quite the way to do it. 

Still, Kihyun can’t deny that it worked, that Hoseok’s body is truly a wonder to behold, and that if anyone can turn the feisty, headstrong Kihyun shy and timid, turn him into the sensitive, blushing virgin omega that he truly is beneath his layers, it’s Hoseok. It’s undoubtedly and only Hoseok, especially like this. Kihyun has been dreaming of this side of Hoseok, a Hoseok no longer shy and reserved, a Hoseok open and ready to take Kihyun to heaven with him, a Hoseok embodying the best parts of his alpha nature. 

Kihyun looks at Hoseok again with wide eyes, Kihyun’s cheeks turning pink as he sits there still quite suggestively in Hoseok’s lap, and he reaches out to touch Hoseok’s chest with one hand, cautious as his fingertips brush over the firm pectoral muscles. Hoseok is looking at him with this glimmer in his eyes, his lips parted as if he’s holding his breath, and Kihyun slowly splays his palm flat right over Hoseok’s heart. It’s beating fast and hard but steady, and it reminds Kihyun of how strong Hoseok is, not just in his body, but in his soul, in his spirit. And all of the simmering sexual energy from before has now given way to something much deeper, something softer and sweeter, and Kihyun’s blush goes darker, from pink to red as he brings his other hand to Hoseok’s chest and starts to touch him with gentle, careful hands. 

Kihyun’s purring continues, quiet and low as he runs his hands slowly up Hoseok’s chest to his broad shoulders, then over his thick biceps before returning back to his chest and down his abs and stomach, and Hoseok soon begins to purr just as Kihyun had, but Hoseok’s purr is deep, more like a rumble, and Kihyun can feel the vibration beneath his fingers as the purr works its way through Hoseok’s body, and Kihyun just can't stop touching him, running his hands along all of the hard, sculpted lines of muscle, tracing it all with his fingertips, Hoseok’s body perfect beyond compare, and Kihyun is mesmerized, enchanted, like Hoseok is some otherworldly being, a resplendent deity that Kihyun has grown to worship. 

As Kihyun touches Hoseok’s body, it becomes less and less sexual and more about who Hoseok is as a person, who Hoseok is as _Kihyun’s_ person. Kihyun’s _mate_. As Kihyun touches Hoseok’s body, his eyes flutter, and he reads Hoseok’s story, everything that he’s been through and everything that he hopes for the future. Hoseok’s body is Kihyun’s map, Kihyun’s safety, Kihyun’s home, Kihyun’s freedom that he’s been so desperately searching for his entire life. 

Hoseok’s skin is beautiful, but it’s not flawless by any means, and as Kihyun runs his hands over Hoseok’s body, he encounters all manner of scars and poorly-healed scrapes and bruises, hurts that will never truly recover, physical testaments to a lifetime spent in a constant battle for survival. But Kihyun thinks they’re beautiful, thinks that they’re proof of the kind of person Hoseok is. Strong, resilient, unshakable in his convictions, in his desire to do good, to be good. It would’ve been so easy, so tempting for Hoseok to give up, to give in to his nature and what was expected of him, but like Kihyun, he fought against it in his own way, and it’s what makes him the strongest, most beautiful person that Kihyun has ever known and ever will know. 

Kihyun makes eye contact with Hoseok again, conveying everything that he’s thinking with a deep, pensive look, and Hoseok looks back at him with earnestness, openness, and Kihyun is filled with a sudden rush of affection for him. He wants to care for Hoseok just as Hoseok has done for him, the way Hoseok deserves after the life he’s lived. Kihyun will make sure that he’ll never have to fight alone again. 

And Kihyun wants Hoseok to read him, too, and so he pulls back from Hoseok’s chest, his fingertips lingering just a moment too long, and he sits up carefully on Hoseok’s lap, sitting back and straight up fully on his knees while Hoseok sits up straight and moves to hold on to Kihyun’s hips and to bend his legs so that his knees press against Kihyun’s back to help keep him steady. A beat of silence passes, and then Kihyun is pulling off his own oversized t-shirt in one smooth motion to reveal himself to Hoseok for the first time, and Kihyun tosses the shirt off to somewhere on the floor, Kihyun looking down and off to the side, resting his hands on his own lap timidly as he feels Hoseok’s eyes on him. 

Although he feels free and safe, protected and loved in Hoseok’s hands, Kihyun can't help but feel a little bit shy, a little bit nervous at baring himself like this, and he blushes deeper as he keeps looking off to some point on the floor, as the cool air hits his naked skin and raises goosebumps. After all, his body is nothing at all like Hoseok’s; it’s the complete opposite, in fact. Kihyun is soft and unmarked, pure and perfect after living a sheltered life spent in isolation, and while Hoseok is all hard lines and firm muscle, Kihyun is gentle curves and full, plump thighs and a soft belly. But he wants Hoseok to see him for who he really is, and he’s ready to finally allow himself to be vulnerable after a life spent focused only on defending himself. Kihyun knows now that he can safely, _happily_ put himself into someone else’s hands, into Hoseok’s hands. 

Kihyun waits, bashful, demure, his eyebrows slightly furrowed and his full lips fallen into their natural pout, his heart beating fast and his blush so deep that it feels like his face is on fire. He feels completely exposed in a way that he’s never been before, in a way that he’s never dared to be before, that is, until he feels Hoseok’s hand on his face, Hoseok’s hand cupping his cheek, and turning Kihyun’s head to face him, to look at him, to look into his eyes. And Hoseok’s eyes are glittering with fondness, with such a strong, undeniable love that it takes Kihyun’s breath away. Hoseok is looking at Kihyun like he’s the entire world, like he’s Hoseok’s entire world, like he’s the most magnificent, most exquisite, most _perfect_ thing that he’s ever seen. And Kihyun no longer feels exposed, no. He feels cherished, he feels beautiful. He feels _adored_. 

Hoseok’s hands move back down to gently hold Kihyun’s waist while Kihyun’s arms wrap loosely around Hoseok’s shoulders as Hoseok leans in for another kiss. It’s a sweet kiss, light as air, not even really a kiss, just their lips lightly pressed together, their eyes slipping closed as Hoseok starts to run his hands up and down Kihyun’s waist and hips, following the curves of Kihyun’s body, reading him and mapping him out just as Kihyun had down to him, squeezing lightly and running his thumbs over Kihyun’s hip bone and pelvis, over Kihyun’s belly, over Kihyun’s nipples and chest as he continues to give him soft little kisses, one after another after another. 

Kihyun feels lightheaded, the sexual desire beginning to crawl its way back up when Hoseok starts to kiss Kihyun’s cheeks and Kihyun giggles at the ticklish sensation, his breath caught in his chest, Hoseok’s soft lips like feathers. And then, Hoseok winds his arms tight around Kihyun’s waist and pulls him in close so that they can finally feel each other skin-to-skin, and it’s heavenly, it’s magic. It’s warm and safe, and their heartbeats beat in tandem against each other, their bodies opening up and responding to the feeling of each other without clothing between them, and Kihyun just wants to sink into Hoseok’s chest, right in between the pillows of his pectoral muscles, Hoseok’s arms around him like a cocoon, Hoseok’s vanilla shrouding him in a cloud of comfort and protection. 

Hoseok then starts to kiss under Kihyun’s jawline, those same feathery-light, sweet-as-sugar kisses, and it doesn’t feel sexual despite the sensations still simmering deep in Kihyun’s belly. It feels playful, whimsical almost as Hoseok licks and sucks on Kihyun’s jawline affectionately, with soft little laps of his tongue, Hoseok soon moving back down to nibble gently on Kihyun’s throat where he had been passionately kissing before. They’re both still purring, but much more gently, a faint hum in the background of their soft, breathless giggles and the little bursts of Hoseok’s kisses, and Kihyun is so happy in this moment that he thinks he might faint. 

More than anything else, he’s enjoying them taking their time like this, going slow and stretching out every moment into what feels like a million, not letting their sexual desire come before their desire to love each other, to fully express their love to each other before they go that final step. It proves that mating doesn’t have to be unhinged, doesn’t have to be rushed and intense and borderline violent as Kihyun had come to expect. No, Kihyun sees now that mating can be romantic, can be lovely, can be more than just the biological drive to reproduce. It can be about love, pure and true and real above all else. And the future may be uncertain and dangerous and scary, but right now, they won’t worry about that. Right now, they can just enjoy this night, enjoy being together and love each other without limits. 

Hoseok returns to Kihyun’s mouth for a few more kisses, both of them giggling into it, and then he stops, pausing with their lips just barely touching, their eyes still closed, their hands going still and everything going silent around them, even their purrs fading off like whispers into the air. And Hoseok holds him so tightly, so securely, their breathing gentle and relaxed, Hoseok opening his mouth slightly against Kihyun’s, letting out a soft sigh before he speaks. 

“You’re so beautiful, Ki,” Hoseok murmurs against Kihyun’s lips, so quiet that Kihyun almost doesn’t hear it. But he does hear it, and he feels it, another soft tickle, and it makes Kihyun’s heart dip and swell, the words washing over him and all throughout his body like a sweet caress, and Kihyun lets out a soft moan in response as he leans forward in Hoseok’s arms, urging him to fall back and lie back flat on the bed, Kihyun falling gently right on top of him as they both begin to purr once again, the bed creaking and the mattress dipping at their combined weight, Kihyun’s tail darting about in satisfaction above him as their feline ears twitch and focus in on each other. 

Hoseok’s arms are still wrapped tight around Kihyun’s waist, one hand in Kihyun’s hair like he’ll never let go of him, and Kihyun’s hands move to cup Hoseok’s cheeks as they keep shyly, gently kissing, never able to get enough of kissing, it seems. Kihyun thinks that they could spend forever just kissing, just rolling around on the bed and tasting each other, touching and feeling each other without ever going a step further, heats and ruts and reproduction be damned. He wishes that they had the time to spend forever here just kissing and touching each other all over, learning every inch, every patch of skin, every muscle and every line and curve and plane of each other’s bodies. 

But the truth is, as much as they’d enjoy stretching this foreplay out for hours more, both of them are eager to mate, eager to become one as the ultimate expression of their love for each other, and as they share more soft, innocent kisses, their actions speak for them as they both work to help each other pull off the rest of their clothing, seeking more skin-on-skin contact, the two of them tossing the rest of their clothes wherever and then reaching to pull each other in closer, both of them moaning as their naked bodies come into full contact for the first time ever, the two of them winding so tightly around each other that they’re soon unable to tell where Kihyun ends and Hoseok begins. 

And it’s like a whole new experience, something that Kihyun never could have prepared for, having Hoseok’s entire naked body pressed against his own, Hoseok’s enormous, fully-erect length pressed against his stomach. It amplifies everything, makes every touch hotter, every kiss deeper, makes Kihyun feel like he could drown in the sensations. They’re both achingly aroused, but their hybrid biology won’t allow them to climax until they mate fully, and so they can only keep moving and rubbing against each other as they kiss, their excitement building up, a wonderful pressure inside of them that, with nowhere to release, grows and grows, coils tighter and denser with each kiss, each touch, each second spent together like this. 

They keep kissing, and their kisses heat up again, growing passionate and wild and open-mouthed like they want to consume each other, filled with all manner of moans and whimpers into each other’s mouths, and it’s then that Kihyun knows that things are about to change, about to escalate, because he can feel the beginnings of his heat rushing up and forward, the familiar twist in his belly and thick, sticky warmth in his pelvis, his body coming fully alive and growing hypersensitive, a wooziness washing over him and dizziness filling his head like he’s drunk, desire and arousal taking hold of all of his senses. But it’s different this time, different than any heat he’s ever experienced, and maybe it’s because this time, he wants it. This time he’s ready for it, he’s _excited_ for it, for his heat, for mating, and for everything that it entails. 

This time, his heat isn’t terrifying, isn’t out-of-control and excruciating. This time, his heat feels _so good_ as it approaches, as it takes over. The feeling of arousal that’s normally contained in his pelvis spreads itself all throughout his body, until he feels like he’s thrumming, vibrating with it, his skin hot and his senses heightened and every sensation so much more than just sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. It’s like it’s all coming together inside of him, into one great bloom of pleasure coiling and condensing thicker and tighter and deeper until he starts to cry again, tears streaking down his cheeks as Hoseok returns to squeezing his ass and Kihyun pants against Hoseok’s mouth. He feels so hot and so cold all at once but it feels good, it feels like his body is actually reacting to Hoseok’s presence instead of going through the motions of a natural cycle. Even his biological drives seem to understand that this time, it’s for real, this time, his heat is _wanted_ , more than wanted, but desired intensely so much so that Kihyun wishes it would come faster and harder. 

It’s then that Kihyun begins to feel his lower body, from his pelvis and wrapping all the way back and around to his entrance, expanding and contracting, slowly but almost painfully tight, so much so that each pulse of his entrance opening and closing around nothing, stretching and tightening, prepping itself, feels like he’s brought right up to the edge of orgasm only for it to vanish into thin air, and he moans with each pulse, suddenly feeling a wave of heat and a release of pressure so intense that he yells against Hoseok’s mouth, shuddering as it works through his whole body in waves. It’s his body producing his slick and it means that it’s almost time for the grand finish. 

And it oozes out slowly at first, thick and sticky, its scent so powerful that Hoseok’s eyes flutter and his face flushes darker and his mouth falls open against Kihyun’s in a silent cry as they both go completely still against each other. Kihyun’s entrance contracts and expands again and Kihyun starts crying even harder, until his cheeks are soaked and he’s sobbing and moaning with each breath, his eyes squeezed shut and his forehead pressed against Hoseok’s, each pulse pushing out more slick until it’s coating him from beneath his tail all the way to his belly, until he’s soaked in it, until it’s dripping down the backs of his thighs and dribbling between his legs and down onto Hoseok, and it's the feeling of Kihyun’s slick on his skin that Kihyun is sure will finally trigger Hoseok’s rut. 

And sure enough, Kihyun can recognize the shift in Hoseok’s scent, can sense the change in Hoseok’s pheromones. They’re stronger and thicker and more intense, yes, but in a completely different way from the scent that had taken over when he was standing up to the other alphas, completely different from those dangerous “fighting” pheromones. Instead, Hoseok’s scent right now can only be described as alluring, intoxicating, addictive, _delicious_ as Kihyun tastes it on the back of his tongue, as Kihyun breathes it in and lets it fill his lungs, as Kihyun lets it consume him while he licks his way deeper into Hoseok’s mouth, running his thumbs over Hoseok’s cheeks as their naked bodies slowly rub against each other. 

As his rut takes over, Hoseok’s body heat seems to raise several degrees in temperature all at once, and his grip on Kihyun grows tighter, harder, one hand moving up Kihyun’s back to grip at his shoulder while the other keeps playing with his ass, rolling it around in his large palm, and they’re not even kissing anymore, just moaning, breathing heavily and open-mouthed against each other as they both let their biology make its full transition, as they let themselves be bathed in the mixture of their pheromones, in the combination of each other’s powerful scents. And Kihyun feels like he can’t think clearly anymore, like he can’t even breathe anymore. 

And it’s then that Hoseok lets out a deep, rough, growl of a noise, the most animalistic he’s been since they’ve met, and the power that surges through him shakes Kihyun to his core, makes him tremble from it as he breathes in cloud after cloud of Hoseok’s alpha musk and lets it wash over his mind and body and wrap around his lungs and throat. It’s a rare moment since they’ve met when Kihyun is reminded that Hoseok truly is an alpha, fierce and powerful and unbelievably strong, _wild_ beneath his gentle demeanor, and Kihyun loves it, loves that he’s the one who has awakened this dormant energy, this dormant ferocity inside the sweet, kind Hoseok, and he loves knowing that Hoseok can be trusted absolutely with it. 

Hoseok then lets go of Kihyun’s ass and shoulder and in one swift, effortless motion, rolls the both of them over, the bed creaking loudly as they switch positions, Kihyun splayed out on the blankets and Hoseok caging Kihyun beneath his muscular arms, Kihyun getting the wind knocked out of him and moaning as his ass makes contact with the bed and the sheets brush over his oversensitive, soaking-wet entrance. And Hoseok on top of him now sends a wonderful shiver racing up Kihyun’s spine like an electric current, the image like one of Kihyun’s wild fever dreams come to life. But this time, it’s real, and the reality is so much wilder, so much hotter and so much better in every way. 

Hoseok hovers on top of him and pants, chest heaving for a long moment as Kihyun continues to leak, the sheets stained soaking wet and growing dark beneath him, and Hoseok is between his legs, and as Kihyun’s body reacts to their position, he looks into Hoseok’s eyes and slowly spreads his legs open further while maintaining eye-contact and parting his lips ever so slightly. Kihyun is ready, and he knows he looks irresistible, and he thinks he’ll die if Hoseok doesn’t fuck him right now, his body yearning for it down to every cell, every molecule. 

He wraps his arms around Hoseok’s shoulders to urge him downward, their foreheads touching as their bodies conform perfectly to each other, Kihyun’s legs wrapping themselves around Hoseok’s waist and his heels digging hard into Hoseok’s lower back. Hoseok is much bigger than he is, of course, and the feeling of having Hoseok in his arms is something incredible, like he’s containing so much raw power, completely in control of it despite their biology, despite the so-called natural order of things. Hoseok is _his_ alpha, after all, and even if Hoseok will be physically claiming Kihyun tonight with a claim mark, Kihyun knows that he’s also claimed Hoseok in turn. 

Unlike humans, hybrids don’t have to do anything special to prep each other for mating, even with the two of them both being virgins. Kihyun’s entrance is soaked from his slick and stretched from his heat, while Hoseok’s length has already started leaking with alpha fluid to provide added lubrication, Kihyun feeling the drip onto his belly. Even if this wasn’t the case, prepping with fingers like humans do creates the risk of climaxing too early, and when it comes to mating with the intention of pregnancy, hybrids only have one chance to get it right, as their climax will wipe them both out, leave them too exhausted to try again. 

And more than anything, Kihyun wants to get this right, that is to say, he wants their first time together to result in his pregnancy. In fact, the thought of Hoseok impregnating him tonight, here and now, is such a turn-on that it spurs a fresh burst of slick to gush out of Kihyun’s entrance, Kihyun’s eyes going half-lidded as he moans so loud that it’s nearly a scream. 

Hoseok starts to line himself up, resting his forehead gently against Kihyun’s as they both breathe heavily against each other, and it’s then that he starts to push himself in, slowly, carefully, Hoseok gentle and cautious even in the middle of his rut, even when he has every reason and every excuse not to be. Kihyun can almost sense the pressure, the _agony_ radiating off of him in his desire to push inside, but Kihyun is exceptionally tight, even for a virgin omega, and Hoseok being Hoseok is sure to be exceptionally careful as a result, going slow so as to minimize the pain. 

And it’s certainly painful as Hoseok smoothly eases himself inside, even though the glide is frictionless from the combination of Kihyun’s slick and Hoseok’s alpha fluid, and Kihyun grips tight onto Hoseok’s shoulders as he keens and whimpers pathetically, a light sheen of sweat breaking out over both of their bodies as they both flush from head to toe, their eyes growing wet with unshed tears. 

But when Hoseok is finally inside of him, when they’re finally connected, they open their eyes to look at each other, Hoseok pushing up on top of him as they take a moment to allow Kihyun’s body to adjust, Kihyun’s eyebrows furrowed and his eyes half-lidded, his mouth fallen open and panting, covered in his own slick and Hoseok’s alpha fluid that Kihyun can feel dripping off of Hoseok’s length inside of his body, a feeling that leaves him quivering with desire and the urge to open himself up even further. They’ve finally made it to this moment, the critical, crucial moment, and yet, they take their own moment to consider each other, to pause for a breath before everything changes between them forever. 

Hoseok doesn’t move, just looks deep into Kihyun’s eyes, and even though his gaze is glazed over with lust, with pent-up, primal desire, even though his arms are shaking from how bad he wants to move, his length already beginning to swell inside of Kihyun’s body, Kihyun can still see Hoseok there, looking down at him, and he’s looking at Kihyun with such profound love shining through everything, his eyes wet, and Kihyun watches, letting out a surprised little noise as a thick tear streaks down Hoseok’s cheek and drips onto Kihyun’s face. 

And Kihyun lets out a soft sigh in response, reaching up weakly, barely able to move as he cups Hoseok’s face in his hands, pulling him down into one last kiss to let him know that he’s ready. They both purr quietly, letting that final kiss linger much longer than any of the others, enjoying their last moment of innocence before they tumble over the edge together. 

They part with a soft noise and Hoseok licks gently over Kihyun’s lower lip several times, a sweet, innocent gesture, before pressing his forehead back to Kihyun’s and closing his eyes, Kihyun gripping hard onto Hoseok’s shoulder blades as he lets his own eyes fall shut, whimpering as Hoseok moves slightly in position. Hoseok’s body on top of his is heavy and hot to the touch, vibrating with his energy, but Kihyun trusts him absolutely to care for him, and he’s ready now to open up completely to receive him. There’s a long beat of silence, of stillness between them, and then, as the bed creaks loudly from his shifting weight, Hoseok starts to move. 

He goes slow at first, rolling his hips forward using all of his strong, beautiful muscles, resting on his forearms on either side of Kihyun’s head, and each thrust in and out of Kihyun’s body is smooth and easy, Kihyun’s body lifting up slightly from Hoseok’s strength with each hit and the difference in their weight, and it hurts at first, a sharp pain mixed with a soft, billowy pleasure that’s growing stronger and stronger as Kihyun is drowned in Hoseok’s scent and pheromones and the firm strength and warmth of his body all around him and deep inside of him. 

But as Hoseok keeps going, slow and deep and with power and strength behind each thrust that has Kihyun’s thighs visibly trembling and his body producing slick even around Hoseok’s length buried inside of him, pleasure soon starts to overtake the pain entirely, and it’s only after a few more thrusts that Kihyun begins to purr loudly, only interrupted by moans at the end of each of Hoseok’s thrusts. 

And Hoseok rolls his hips with such grace and elegance, the way only someone in complete harmony with their body could achieve, someone like Hoseok who has dedicated so much time to cultivating their physicality, a beautifully controlled strength powered by his alpha energy inside of him, each thrust into Kihyun’s body hitting hard and then flickering out and spreading like fireworks, and as he hits one spot in particular, Kihyun throws his head back and cries out, tears falling from his eyes as Hoseok moves to bury his face in Kihyun’s throat, and all of Kihyun’s senses have reduced down to his approaching climax bundled deep in his core, deep in his pelvis, and the bed starts to move along with Hoseok as his thrusts get stronger, harder, faster, but still steady, still graceful, a perfect wave back and forth, their bodies rolling together in perfect harmony. 

And Hoseok is now sucking on the soft skin at Kihyun’s throat, but it’s more as a way to muffle his own groans and grunts and moans of pleasure as he thrusts again and again, and both of them are purring but it’s simply backdrop now to everything else, to the symphony of loud and lovely noises between them, both of them shaking, Kihyun nearly paralyzed in pleasure as it ignites inside of him like crackling flames licking up his spine and along each and every one of his nerve endings. His body is so responsive, so receptive and open to Hoseok’s, his slick continuing to push out with each breath he takes and make each one of Hoseok’s thrusts smoother and deeper than the last. 

Hoseok keeps thrusting, and they’re both getting close, Kihyun knows it, and now, they’re moving together as one, Hoseok’s thrusts going in and out of Kihyun’s body so effortlessly it’s like they were always meant to be connected, like they were made to fit together and only now are able to be complete, and as Kihyun’s orgasm approaches, the heat wrapping around his pelvis and squeezing him tight, he digs his fingers into Hoseok’s shoulder blades and unwinds his legs from around Hoseok’s waist, letting them fall open on the bed on either side of him so that his entrance is as open as physically possibly. And Hoseok is already hitting Kihyun as far as he can go, pushing in all the way to the hilt and pulling out all the way to the tip each time, but Kihyun spreading his legs allows for a new angle that soon has Kihyun screaming with each hit as Hoseok thrusts into him perfectly. 

Hoseok is biting into his throat now, not yet hard enough to break the skin or to even bruise or leave a mark, but he’s sucking on it hard enough to make it wet and supple, digging his teeth in and preparing to leave his claim mark as his thrusts grow even harder and more erratic. He will have to time his bite perfectly when Kihyun climaxes, not only to help ease the pain, but in order to render the mark permanent. If he succeeds, Hoseok’s claim mark will be branded into Kihyun’s skin for the rest of his life, bonding him to Hoseok until the day he dies. Kihyun hopes that it’s not true though, the claim mark lasting for the rest of his life. Instead, he wants to be bonded to Hoseok in this life and the next, he hopes that Hoseok’s claim mark lasts for eternity, brands into his very soul. 

Hoseok’s thrusts are so deep and so powerful now that Kihyun can no longer move, can no longer do anything but cling hard to Hoseok’s shoulders, frozen right at the moment before climax, right on the edge, and it’s coiling deep inside of him tighter and tighter and denser and denser and Kihyun knows it’s about to burst, his whole body keening in on itself, and he goes completely tense, curling forward and into Hoseok as Hoseok pounds into him hard again and again with that graceful, perfectly smooth and controlled strength of his, all sound and light disappearing, all of Kihyun’s sensory input going blank until all that’s left is one moment stretched out to infinity. 

And Hoseok times it perfectly, as expected when they are now connected to each other as one with their minds, bodies, and spirits in perfect sync. As he thrusts into Kihyun once, twice, three times more, it’s with that fourth thrust that he bites down hard into Kihyun’s neck, at the exact same moment that Kihyun climaxes, Kihyun yelling out loud and broken as his body quivers from head to toe, his entrance clenching around Hoseok’s length tight as pleasure rolls through him so intense and powerful that Kihyun shakes and sobs through it. 

And Hoseok keeps going, keeps thrusting hard and deep as he bites down into Kihyun’s neck, and Hoseok bites so hard that the claim mark begins to bleed, hot, thick blood dripping down Kihyun’s throat, but it’s nothing to be concerned about, in fact, it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be if the mark is to be permanent, and it only takes a few more seconds as Kihyun writhes in his own ecstasy for Hoseok to follow him right into sweet, sweet oblivion, Hoseok groaning loud into Kihyun’s neck and his body convulsing as he continues to thrust hard through his climax, spilling hot and wet into Kihyun’s body and filling him up so fully that it leaks out of Kihyun’s entrance and onto the bed to mix with the enormous stain from Kihyun’s slick. 

Hoseok keeps going for a few more long moments, pumping himself empty right into Kihyun’s body, and Kihyun moans from oversensitivity as he continues to feel the aftershocks of his own climax, Hoseok’s last few thrusts growing weaker and slower and shallower as he finishes, Kihyun’s body weakly moving along with Hoseok’s from where they’re still connected, and even now Hoseok is so strong and his aim so perfect that Kihyun still moans with each hit brushing against the most sensitive bundle of nerves inside of him, and it just stretches out his own climax, keeps it going for what feels like hours and hours. 

Hoseok collapses on top of Kihyun, then, both of them breathing hard and coming down from their high together, Hoseok’s weight on top of him equal parts suffocating and wonderful, warm and loose like Hoseok’s body is his shelter from the world, like a warm, heavy blanket. Hoseok’s body is pulsing gently and Kihyun can feel that Hoseok’s length has swelled up inside of his body and that his entrance has tightened to fit snugly around it, a biological drive to leave them physically unable to separate for the next few hours to increase the chance of pregnancy. It means they have to move a bit carefully for the next few hours, and it also means that every move they make while connected will continue to bring them little bursts of pleasure as if they’re still continuing to mate. 

If Kihyun does indeed become pregnant, they won’t be able to mate like this until after Kihyun has his first litter. They will still be able to make love as humans, but there will be no heats, no ruts, and no physical connection like this to bond them together for hours after they’re finished. And Kihyun feels a little tingle in his heart as he thinks about the fact that they’ll have another first time together, a first time where they can really go slow, go for hours, go more than once, even. Mating as hybrids is incredible, yes, but making love as humans, that’s something that Kihyun is really looking forward to now, and he imagines that their first time will be when they’re already free, maybe under a beautiful, open night sky full of stars well beyond the walls of the compound. 

It’s a lovely thought, and Kihyun hopes that it will soon be their reality, the future so close and just waiting for them, just a few more days away. He can see it now more clearly than ever before. 

They catch their breath for a few moments, their heads clearing away all of the dense fog as Kihyun’s heat and Hoseok’s rut dissipate and fade away in the wake of successful mating, and soon, it’s just the two of them as always, heartbeats gradually slowing and the physical exhaustion of mating beginning to settle in. Hoseok growls low in his throat and licks gently at Kihyun’s claim mark to stop the bleeding and to help it to heal, and Kihyun’s eyes flutter, because it feels so soothing and nice, and he feels like every bit of stress and tension that has ever buried itself into his muscles has disappeared, like he’s been reborn into a new body, free and light and boneless. Every breath he takes sends little fizzles of lingering pleasure flickering all throughout his body, and his pelvis is still churning out little mini orgasms with every tiny movement between them, Kihyun moaning softly every time Hoseok shifts on top of him to adjust and make Kihyun more comfortable as they regain their bearings. 

Kihyun has never felt so thoroughly and fully satisfied in his life, and now, it’s definitely time to sleep. 

They roll over carefully so that they’re lying on their sides facing each other while still connected, and they curl in close to each other, Kihyun wrapping his arms around Hoseok’s waist and burying his face in Hoseok’s throat while Hoseok wraps his arms around Kihyun’s shoulders and buries his face in Kihyun’s hair. Now that they’re a mated couple, their scents have mixed together, a swirl of vanilla and chocolate and the mixtures of omega perfume and alpha musk creating something new and uniquely beautiful to the two of them, and the claim mark on Kihyun’s neck aches, but it’s a wonderful kind of ache, and when it heals, Kihyun will wear it proudly. He hopes it’s not the only physical proof of their mating; yes, Kihyun hopes with all his heart that he’s already pregnant with Hoseok’s kittens. 

And though it had already felt like they had shared an empathic and telepathic bond just from their effortless connection with each other, now that they’re a mated couple, that bond will become even stronger. As a mated alpha and omega, they will be able to sense each other and feel each other always, no matter how far apart they may be, no matter what else is happening, their newfound connection will be absolute and more powerful than anything else. And Kihyun hopes they’ll never have to test its limits, that he’ll never have to spend another moment without Hoseok right by his side. 

They have two more days left to spend in the cabin before they make their escape, and Kihyun can only hope that they can enjoy them in peace and quiet as they make their final preparations, because once they leave, things out there may be difficult. Things out there _will_ be difficult. This cabin may be a prison, but it’s at least a prison where they can be safe (intruding alphas notwithstanding). Once they’re past the walls of the compound, they won’t know what to expect, they won’t know what’s waiting for them, and they’ll only have each other to make it through it all, to protect each other. Kihyun has no doubt that they’ll be alright, however, that they’ll be able to make it through anything, whatever the world throws at them. 

For now, all they can do is drift off into deep slumber together, in the same bed for the first time, their tails wrapped around each other and them both purring even in their sleep as they dream of the life they’ll share, with the sun soon to rise through the cracks in the door and a new day to greet them.


	6. Chapter 6

Kihyun and Hoseok sleep right through what should have been their fifth day together in the cabin. 

It’s not exactly a surprise, since their mating was so intense and had succeeded in wiping the both of them out in the very best of ways, the two of them both completely spent and satisfied for the first time in their lives, physically, mentally, emotionally, down to their very core. It was certainly to be expected that they’d need some recovery time to bring themselves back down to the earth and to regain their bearings, and it would be the result of their natural biological drive to help to increase the chance of pregnancy by following a heavy mating, especially the first mating, with an equally heavy rest. And of course, as a newly mated pair, their biology would be working in full swing, working at its full power to ensure that their mating would be a success. 

But even so, even with the knowledge that this would be completely expected to happen, Kihyun can’t help but to feel startled upon waking with no sense of the time or day at first, the room still bathed in cool air and darkness and the sweet, sharp scent of their mating still thickly saturating the space all around them like a heavy blanket. 

It’s a unique and powerful scent, undeniable, unmistakable, and anyone within a short distance of the cabin would be able to smell them, and would _know_. As Kihyun breathes it in, one deep breath after another, it feels like it’s filling him up from the inside out, like it’s tangible, physical, growing stronger with every breath he takes, swaddling his mouth and nose and coating his lungs, swirling around in his heart and in his mind, touching every part of him down to every cell and atom in his body. 

But for all Kihyun knows right now, his mind foggy and blurred and half-asleep, slowly piecing the world back together around him, their time together here is almost up. Especially if their smell is really this strong, the elders will soon be on their way to retrieve the newly mated pair, having successfully achieved the objective, even if it did take them much longer than what was usually expected because of their initial resistance to the idea and to each other. 

Whatever their own reasons were, whatever the true nature of their relationship is now, in the end, Kihyun and Hoseok _had_ done what they were put here to do, and the elders, and anyone else, would be none the wiser to know that for the two of them, their mating was different, everything about the two of them was different. All that would matter would be that Kihyun and Hoseok, omega and alpha, had mated, had done their duty to the compound, and their society would continue on as always. 

And despite being together in the most intimate of ways, despite the profound bond shared between a mated alpha and omega that rises above all else, if it is indeed time to leave the cabin, they’ll immediately be separated, ripped apart once more into their respective roles. That’s just the way of the compound, the rules of the elders that have been in place for hundreds of years. 

Kihyun will be locked away with the other mated omegas, fixed into a meaningless, mindless life of gestation and mating and birth, an endless cycle of isolation where he’ll only be able to see Hoseok when he’s ready to be mated and impregnated with another litter, Hoseok unable to even witness the birth of or to get to know his own kittens, Hoseok unable to ever seen Kihyun again outside of their mating. 

Hoseok, in turn, will be given to the other mated alphas, locked away in his own bubble of isolation, his own prison, to hone fighting skills to protect the community, forced into a life of endless violence and fights for dominance, sure to end only in blood and pain, at which point, Kihyun would be given to another alpha, one after another for as long as his fertility lasts. 

As for the kittens, _their_ kittens, their precious babies, they’ll be taken away, placed into their own respective roles just as both Kihyun and Hoseok had been at birth, never given the opportunity to know their parents, Kihyun and Hoseok unable to see their own babies grow up and live their lives. And then, when Kihyun could no longer provide kittens for the community, well, then he’d be shunned, left to live out the rest of his days with the other old omegas, broken and battered and alone until death came for him. At least then, he’d be able to see Hoseok again. 

What it all comes down to is that Kihyun and Hoseok would’ve missed their one opportunity at freedom and a happy life, for them, for their family, all because they had given in to temptation. 

Kihyun feels a prickle of dissatisfaction, then, at that thought, irritated at himself that it even crossed his mind, because to even hear that fleeting whisper in his head, that awful flicker of doubt that everything that he had just shared with Hoseok was simply the two of them succumbing to carnal desire, just as they had been expected to, just as they had been conditioned to, doesn’t seem right to him, not right at all, as if it was just a mistake, as if he regrets it. 

And Kihyun knows that it’s just the remnants of his past self, the old Kihyun, the one who’s still afraid of all that he’s feeling, of the intensity, the purity, the _power_ of his newfound affection for Hoseok after a lifetime of always staying on guard, of always protecting himself, of swearing to not ever give himself over to an alpha. 

And his feelings do scare him, but they also empower him, because they’re what tell him that this is real, that what he has with Hoseok is _real_. Hoseok is the missing piece that he never even knew that he was living without, and it has nothing to do with what they’ve been conditioned for. No biological drive or forced relationship could ever hope to compare to what Kihyun and Hoseok have for each other, what they mean to each other now, and if Kihyun’s given himself to Hoseok, it’s only because Hoseok has given himself to Kihyun in return. 

The thing is, everything that Kihyun had thought that he had known his entire life has been turned on its head in such a short time, and he’s found himself in a situation that he never could have thought possible, loving someone else, loving an alpha, loving _Hoseok_ more than he had ever thought that he was even capable of. And the truth is, Kihyun could never regret it, could never regret everything that he feels and everything that he has now, everything that he _is_ now with Hoseok. Kihyun has never felt so good, so _happy_ , in his entire life. No matter the consequences, or what lies ahead, he’s all too happy to be right here, right now, waking up next to Hoseok. 

Or, more accurately, waking up _on top_ of Hoseok. 

Though the last thing that Kihyun remembers is the two of them falling asleep curled into each other and all twisted up together in a fragrant cloud of their mating, with Hoseok still buried deep inside of him and Kihyun’s body holding on tight, the two of them had shifted in their long, long sleep, and now, Hoseok is lying on his back, and Kihyun is lying right on top of him, face-down, Hoseok’s arms wrapped loosely around Kihyun’s waist, and Kihyun’s head pillowed on Hoseok’s firm chest, Kihyun’s arms wrapped lazily and loosely around Hoseok’s shoulders. 

Hoseok’s body is warm and thrumming wonderfully in a slow, steady vibration as he sleeps, and he smells incredible right now, his scent more precious to Kihyun than oxygen, more addictive than any drug, and the heat of Hoseok’s body is such a comfort that Kihyun wants to sigh and sink right into Hoseok’s skin, to fuse the two of them together into one being. 

Kihyun can feel Hoseok’s heartbeat, too, beneath his cheek as he slowly blinks awake, deep and calm and steady like a drum, Kihyun’s face moving up and down slightly with each of Hoseok’s slow, deep breaths. They’re no longer physically connected as they were, Hoseok having pulled out of Kihyun at some point in their slumber, though Kihyun has no memory of it whatsoever, and his entrance feels empty and tender without Hoseok buried inside of him, feels incomplete when not snug tight around Hoseok’s length in the perfect fit. 

Kihyun’s body feels quite sore following their mating and what instinctively feels like many hours of deep sleep, and he’s still loose and relaxed inside but highly oversensitive, like he can feel every molecule of air and every caress of the warmth from Hoseok’s body along the lining of his entrance, still wet with the moisture of Hoseok’s seed clinging along the inside of him, the lingering effects of Kihyun’s heat still petering out, fluttering embers of arousal and satisfaction still bursting, alternating inside of him from his continued physical contact with Hoseok, droplets of his own slick still coating him all up and down his thighs, and the claim mark on his neck, pulsing and burning with a dull ache that flickers out to his fingertips and toes and reminds him that, for better or worse, he and Hoseok belong to each other now. 

The thought fills him with such an intense joy that he nearly moans from it, feels like he wants to cry because he’s so happy. Instead, he purrs. Softly, gently, almost inaudible, but the vibrations in his throat make no mistake. And he’s not sure if he’s been purring this entire time or if it’s just started at this moment, but it feels so _good_ , a soft trill deep in his throat that fills him with such calmness, such immense contentment that it nearly lulls him back to sleep. 

Kihyun doesn’t move, just lets his eyes slip back closed to the comfort of the total darkness of the inside of his eyelids, his senses attuned to Hoseok all around him inside and out, losing himself in Hoseok’s warmth and scent. Kihyun’s not sleeping, just simply _being_ , existing in this new body, this new life, breathing deep and taking it all in like he’s alive for the first time. After all, Kihyun really does feel like he’s woken up in a new body, like he’s been reborn, like the old Kihyun is gone, and he’s now an entirely new entity, not just a mated omega, but fulfilled in soul and spirit. 

He doesn’t know yet if he’s actually pregnant this time; his scent won’t change for a few days if he is, and he has no way of knowing before then, but he just has this gut feeling, this sense, he just _knows_ that he is, that the mating was successful, and it makes him feel so wonderful, so _excited_ , about the family they'll be starting, about being a mother, about his kittens, whom he already loves so much that it’s almost unbearable. All he wants now is for all of them to live in freedom together, to be a family, to have the life they deserve that’s for too long been denied to everyone who lives within the walls of this horrible, horrible place. 

He feels Hoseok now, too, in a way that’s difficult to describe even to himself. He had already started to feel it immediately following their mating as he was drifting off to sleep, probably was affected by it even in his dreams, but now, given the time that it’s had to set in undisturbed, it’s much more intense, their mated pair connection, the empathic, telepathic, and physical shared sense, the bond between mated alpha and omega. Even while Hoseok is asleep beneath him, Kihyun can feel exactly what he feels, glimmering around the edges of his own feelings like soft, glowing light, like faint but beautiful whispers, like they’re a part of him too, not separate, but mixed in and spread throughout, little bursts of electricity and warmth that just feel like Hoseok, like his essence. 

Kihyun feels a similar kind of deep satisfaction as his own in Hoseok, too, a deep and absolute peace as he sleeps, and Kihyun feels Hoseok’s protectiveness towards him, Hoseok’s alpha instinct now fully awakened and set on guarding his omega, on guarding Kihyun, at all costs, caring for Kihyun with everything that he is. And Kihyun can feel himself blushing even in the darkness as he focuses deep within Hoseok, Kihyun’s heart growing warm and his face growing hot, because he can feel Hoseok’s love for him, too. He can feel it just like he can feel his own love for Hoseok in return, the emotions wrapped together snug inside of him. Kihyun wonders how far this connection goes, or if it even has a limit at all. Somehow, Kihyun doesn’t think that it does. 

One thing that Kihyun doesn’t feel, however, is any sense of doubt within Hoseok. Unlike Kihyun, still shaking off his lingering worries, everything that he’s been conditioned to feel towards alphas and towards himself, Hoseok’s feelings are pure, are clear and bright. All Kihyun feels in Hoseok is love, and it makes Kihyun’s heart ache terribly. He silently apologizes to Hoseok, vows to let it all go, to leave the past where it belongs, and it’s like a long-held weight lifting from deep inside as he breathes, lets it go little by little, putting all of his trust and faith in Hoseok now and in their connection. He feels light and stronger with each breath that he takes, and he knows that it’s the right thing to do. 

One last thing that he has gained from his new connection with Hoseok are Hoseok’s physical feelings, including Hoseok’s own alpha instincts and bodily chemistry. He can feel how Hoseok is just as exhausted as he is from their mating, and he can feel Hoseok’s intense desire to be closer to him, to hold him tight even in sleep. He can feel his own warmth and weight on Hoseok just as he feels Hoseok’s warmth and the weight of his arms around him, can feel his own breath and heartbeat just as he feels Hoseok’s in turn. It’s a complex, confusing tangle to pick apart himself from Hoseok, but he supposes that it’s no longer necessary to do so, not anymore, not when they’ll be together now, always. 

And something that’s particularly useful to have shared between them right now is Hoseok’s instinctual alpha sense of time, which finally answers Kihyun’s question about how much longer they have left together here. He focuses, digs deep beneath the layers to detangle what he’s sensing, tapping into Hoseok’s subconscious, and he soon is able to put together that they slept only through their fifth day, and that it’s now just before dawn on their sixth day. It means that although they have a lot to do, they still have time to do it. It means that they haven’t screwed up and ruined their one chance at freedom. Kihyun’s filled with relief, and so, so thankful. 

At that moment, Kihyun lets out a soft little chirp of a noise and instinctively turns his head to bury his face in Hoseok’s chest, his purring growing louder, stronger, and he wraps his arms tighter around Hoseok’s shoulders, hugs him, starts licking at the warm skin above Hoseok’s heart, tiny little kitten licks over and over as he nuzzles his noise in the dip of Hoseok’s pectorals, Kihyun’s tail flicking about above his head. It’s an affectionate gesture that Kihyun hadn’t even consciously thought to do before he was already doing it, a gentle way to wake up Hoseok, his _mate_ (he still can’t quite believe it), and tell him the good news, Hoseok’s skin warm and sugary and tasting faintly of vanilla as Kihyun’s licks him awake. 

Kihyun keeps licking Hoseok, starting to giggle a bit and shifting around on top of him, Kihyun’s tail continuing to flick around playfully and his feline ears twitching as his purr grows even louder. Kihyun then starts licking Hoseok’s nipples, sucking and nibbling gently until he feels Hoseok stirring to life beneath him, Hoseok’s arms instinctively wrapping tighter around Kihyun’s waist and Hoseok’s hands slipping up to pet Kihyun’s hair as Hoseok comes awake with a long, low groan that sends a shiver up Kihyun’s spine, Hoseok’s muscles shifting as Kihyun pushes up slightly from Hoseok’s chest, lifting up on his forearms resting on Hoseok’s shoulders to look right into Hoseok’s eyes. 

And as Hoseok’s eyes meet his, Hoseok’s gaze sleepy and heavy and half-lidded but full of fondness, Hoseok starts purring, too, his expression content in the early morning light starting to seep through the cracks in the front door, his face slightly flushed as Kihyun squirms on top of him, chirping happily. 

They just look at each other in silence for a long, long moment, eyes darting within each other’s, the two of them both just taking the other in with joy, before Kihyun is overcome with affection, cupping Hoseok’s face and surging down to kiss him full and deep, both of their eyes slipping closed as their lips slot together perfectly, Kihyun running his thumbs over Hoseok’s cheeks as Hoseok hugs him and pulls him in closer. 

They had kissed so much already last night, but Kihyun doesn’t think he’ll ever quite get used to the feeling of their mouths fit together, their tongues gently pressing against each other, warm lips pressed against warm lips, the heat and moisture, especially now, when he feels both his own physical sensations and Hoseok’s too. 

They pull apart just barely with their eyes still closed, their noses lightly brushing, Kihyun letting out a soft hushed breath against Hoseok’s lips before they kiss again, closed-mouthed, gentle, fleeting and fluttering. And they keep kissing, softly, purring through it, and it’s amazing, their first kisses shared as a fully mated couple. As they deepen the kisses again, Kihyun feels like he wants to fall into it, fall into Hoseok, drown in Hoseok and in their shared senses. 

Kihyun lets out a soft moan into Hoseok’s mouth as he takes it in, Hoseok’s taste, Hoseok’s heat, grips Hoseok’s face tighter as Hoseok’s hands move down Kihyun’s back and grip low on his waist, and it’s like he’s achieving a high, his mind spinning and pressure building inside of him. Kihyun knows that he can’t physically have another heat so soon (assuming that he is indeed pregnant) but he swears that the feeling that he’s feeling right now is exactly the same, exactly comparable to the beginning embers of his heat, and he wonders if this is how intense, how _amazing_ it will always feel to be intimate with Hoseok. 

They part again and take a moment to breathe, both of them panting softly, and they open their eyes to look at each other, deep and intense, for a long time and full of emotion, and without even speaking, they’re able to understand each other, the shared feeling of determination, now, more than ever, to leave this place and to find their new life together beyond these walls, a life where they can be together in peace like this always, a life of limitless possibilities to share together. Kihyun sees it and can feel it from Hoseok, as strong as his own, and he feels so proud of the both of them for everything they’ve done, everything they’ve been through, the strength they’ve both had to make it to this point. 

Kihyun looks into Hoseok’s eyes, lost in a trance, and thinks about the strong possibility that he’s pregnant, his heart pounding as he thinks of already carrying Hoseok’s kittens inside of him, and that they’ll be able to live a free life from the moment that they’re born. They’ll never have to experience the hardship of so many others who came before them, won’t know the pain that their parents knew, won’t know the fear and isolation. He and Hoseok will be wonderful parents. Kihyun knows that Hoseok will be a wonderful, kind, caring father, and Kihyun will be the best mother that he can be. He gets emotional again at the thought, of all of the precious memories and moments, and he knows that Hoseok can feel what he’s feeling too, the overwhelming love that Kihyun already feels for their babies, their little family that’s soon to come. 

But for them, soon to come still means a long way to go. A long, _long_ way to go. It’s the sixth day here, their last full day in the cabin, and they have much to do to prepare for tomorrow morning when they’ll finally leave. As much as Kihyun would love to just lie here kissing Hoseok all day, or to just sleep for another twenty-four hours in Hoseok’s embrace, he knows they have to get moving, and so he leans down to nibble gently on Hoseok’s lower lip as he purrs, a wordless reminder that they need to get up and get to work. 

From there, the rest of their final day together goes by all too quickly, and Kihyun isn’t sure if it’s because all of the tension between them has now dissipated, fizzled to a pleasant and low simmer now that they’re mated, now that they’re _together_ , replaced by the thick cloud of their love for each other, or because they’ve just got so much to do and so little time to do it. Whatever the reason, the minutes and hours slip away too fast as they spend their last day in the cabin together, with so much happening and so much to think about, the two of them growing accustomed to their new emotional and physical bond along with everything else. 

They have to pack, finalize their escape plan, rest for the long journey, and a million other things, it seems. They’re very happy to discover that the electricity and water have come back, and the first thing that they do after they finally peel themselves away from each other is to go straight for the shower, and they don’t even have to think about it as they step in together, Hoseok first to make sure that the water is comfortable followed by Kihyun right behind him. 

And the two of them immediately huddle close, facing each other under the warm stream of water and giggling shyly, blushing as they look into each other’s eyes and press their wet, naked bodies together so that they can both fit under the spray, Kihyun loosely draping his arms around Hoseok’s shoulders and Hoseok lightly gripping Kihyun’s hips as Kihyun rests his forehead just beneath Hoseok’s throat. 

And the whole thing is much less sexual than Kihyun would’ve expected. Nothing even happens while they’re there in the shower together. It’s all very sweet and affectionate as they bathe each other under the steady stream of hot water, occasionally sharing chaste little kisses, back to their shy selves, and Kihyun feels completely comfortable, natural being naked around Hoseok, safe and protected and like it’s how he’s meant to be. 

And as Hoseok scrubs Kihyun’s hair and Kihyun rubs soap up and down Hoseok’s sculpted chest and stomach, it feels like they’re taking care of each other, like they truly are partners now, in everything. Kihyun can’t help but to wrap his arms around Hoseok’s waist and hug him tight as they rinse off, Hoseok’s hands still threaded through his soaking wet hair, Kihyun nuzzling his face at Hoseok’s throat as they affectionately embrace. Kihyun is just so happy to have him, and Hoseok is so happy to have Kihyun too, the both of them purring together as they press in close. 

When they’re finally finished in the shower, they drip dry for a few moments, the room falling silent and the air chilly on their wet, naked skin as they huddle together. They meet each other’s eyes and exchange a heated glance, knowing that it’s time for them to take another step forward as mates, time for them to groom each other. Kihyun’s face grows warm as the realization dawns upon him, Hoseok’s face flushing in turn. They’re finally ready for the most intimate act second only to mating, and it’s when their skin is still damp but no longer dripping that they take each other’s hand and return to the bed. 

They sit comfortably on the bed, and after a few minutes of shy giggles and being unable to make eye contact without blushing bright pink, they scoot closer to each other, and they start to lick and kiss all over each other’s skin at their throats, collarbones, and shoulders. Kihyun particularly enjoys the sensation of Hoseok licking along his jawline, and he’s unable to contain his moans when Hoseok carefully licks his feline ears dry, Kihyun’s ears his most sensitive spot, Kihyun crying out when Hoseok sucks one gently into his mouth for a few moments. 

It’s even more incredible when Hoseok’s soothing tongue laps slowly over the still-burning claim mark on Kihyun’s neck, and when Hoseok nibbles on Kihyun’s shoulder, Kihyun’s eyes slip closed and his mouth falls open as he moans through it all, unable to even breathe as Hoseok moves down the lines of his chest, his waist, down to his hips to lick at Kihyun’s soft, warm belly. 

But when Hoseok finishes, and Kihyun has cooled down enough to think straight, Kihyun soon turns the tables, adjusting so that he can work on Hoseok, Hoseok carefully guiding him with his hands and with a litany of low, encouraging noises. 

Kihyun licks over Hoseok’s chest, down the lines and planes of his stomach all the way to his pelvis, before moving back up to lick around Hoseok’s own ears and jawline, then over his shoulders and down his biceps where he nibbles as Hoseok pets his hair with shaking hands. And it’s when he makes it to Hoseok’s back, licking around the lines and planes of Hoseok’s broad shoulders and over his shoulder blades, that Hoseok seems to lose his sense too, moaning low in a deep rumble when Kihyun licks the back of his neck. 

It’s not so much about actually cleaning themselves as it would be if they were full cats, but the lingering feline nature present in their hybrid biology makes for an intimate bonding experience between mates when they groom like this. And soon, their purring grows deafeningly loud, indistinguishable between the two of them as they continue to mouth and lick and suck and nibble all over each other, losing themselves completely to their animal halves and acting completely on instinct. 

It’s especially profound to feel the effect on each other with their newfound connection as they groom, which they’ve discovered that they can sort of turn on and off, adjust somewhat, but not completely. It’s more like they can turn the dial up and down, can focus and amplify it or quiet it at will, but they’ll always feel the smallest bit of each other, particularly when the other is experiencing an especially strong feeling or sensation. 

Tuning into their connection while they groom makes it all the more meaningful of an experience, since they can feel every press of each other’s mouths if they want to, every lick and bite, every physical reaction from inside and out, and Kihyun can’t help but wonder how this will affect the next time that they mate. He knows Hoseok is thinking the same thing when they both start blushing furiously together, overcome with hot excitement at the idea. 

It’s a wonderful session, and as they finish and look at each other, naked on the bed together, dry and warm and happy, scented like each other and fresh and clean on the other side of their mating, they know that their bond is fully consummated, and now, nothing will ever tear them apart. And as they curl around each other on the bed, tangled together for a few peaceful moments, they rest well knowing that all that’s left now is to make it to where they want to be. 

From there, they get dressed and they eat, and they spend the rest of the day talking, laughing, packing, making their plans for tomorrow morning, and it feels more like they’re going on a vacation than escaping from a prison-like compound that they’ve been trapped in their entire lives. They can only take what they can carry on their backs in makeshift bindles that they made from tearing up a blanket, and Hoseok, as the much stronger between the two of them, insists on carrying the heavier items like their small supply of water. 

The hope is that they’ll only need a day or two before they can find a place to temporarily settle, even a cave or secluded area of the forest will do for the time being. They plan to eventually construct a more permanent shelter once they can find the perfect place, and live off the land somewhere safe with their combined knowledge. But naturally, their first priority is to escape far, far away from the compound, so far away that nobody will ever be able to find them, and every second will matter, every foot of space between them and the walls will matter once they leave the security of this cabin. 

And so, their sixth and final full day starts to come to a close. They can soon feel each other’s creeping anxiety, the fear and the worries as the sun goes down and the night brings all of its darkness and mystery, the oncoming dread as they can feel how quickly they’re running out of time. But they also feel their mutual trust every time they look into each other’s eyes, every time their hands brush, and they know in their hearts that it will all be okay. 

By the time the evening fully arrives, Kihyun finds himself starting to feel hopeful again, hopeful about the dawn to come. He actually feels _eager_ , and that night, when they get into bed together in this cabin for the last time, Kihyun is overcome with his feelings, with his excitement, and he pounces suddenly onto Hoseok, pushing him down into the mattress and playfully crawling on top of him with a series of soft feline chirps as his tail flicks around above him. Hoseok responds by immediately flipping them over with all of those stupid muscles of his, pinning Kihyun down by his wrists and smirking as Kihyun gasps before bursting into laughter. 

They both sigh and just look into each other’s eyes again for a long, long moment. Despite their intense mating last night, and despite their increased physicality, no heat or rut is triggered. Kihyun thinks that it must be a good sign, because he wants _so_ badly to be pregnant. They both silently agree not to test it though, not to push their physical contact any further tonight, because they’re not ready to know the answer just yet. Instead, Hoseok swoops down to press a soft kiss to Kihyun’s forehead before rolling off of him to lie by his side, immediately pulling Kihyun into his arms. 

“I don’t think I can sleep,” Kihyun murmurs, suddenly. And it’s true; he feels much too excited, like his heart is racing a mile a minute. It’s dark now and it’s time to rest, but Kihyun doesn’t think he’s ever felt so awake. 

Hoseok hums above him, a low rumble through his chest, and then says, “I can use my alpha pull on you, if you’d like. Tell you to go to sleep. It’ll be even stronger now than it already was.” 

Kihyun laughs. “Only the two of us would use alpha pull for something so sweet and innocent,” Kihyun says, and he lets out a little noise that tells Hoseok to go ahead. 

Hoseok hugs Kihyun tighter and Kihyun closes his eyes, snuggling into Hoseok’s chest. “Go to sleep, my little Kihyunnie. My precious, little love,” Hoseok says. “Tomorrow, we’ll leave this place, and we’ll finally have everything we ever wanted.” 

Kihyun smiles as he takes in Hoseok’s sweet words, and he feels the alpha pull working him almost immediately, his eyelids growing heavy and sleep washing over him, tugging him down, down, down into its depths. He drifts off, knowing that Hoseok will wake them before sunrise with his alpha sense of time, and he has no fear, not anymore. 

He dreams only of what tomorrow will bring.


	7. Chapter 7

The first thing that Kihyun hears the next morning is Hoseok’s deep, low voice, gentle and sweet and soothing just like his rich vanilla scent, tugging Kihyun up and out of the alpha pull just as he had said that he would with quiet whispers, quiet little nothings, telling Kihyun that it’s time for him to wake up, calling out Kihyun’s name, a sweet murmur of “Kihyunnie” that Kihyun feels as a warm tingle up his spine and a soft caress all over his skin. 

Kihyun doesn’t open his eyes immediately, but he smiles and lets out a soft moan at the sound of Hoseok’s voice calling so sweetly to him, and at Hoseok’s hand lightly stroking his face, and at Hoseok’s scent filling his lungs, and at the feeling of Hoseok’s love for him as Hoseok gazes upon him with fondness that Kihyun can feel all over his body. 

Contentment floods through Kihyun as he slowly wakes, bliss and contentment, little blossoms of joy seeping into his veins, filling him up slowly like honey dripping down onto the floor. He had slept well, a truly deep, restful sleep, and some part of him deep inside wonders what would happen if he never opened his eyes at all, if he just refused to accept the reality of having to wake from this wonderful moment, if he just stayed right here and didn’t move, somehow willed himself back to sleep and never woke again. What then? Would it ever have to end? Could he just have this most lovely sleep beside Hoseok, held in Hoseok’s arms peaceful and safe and warm forever, his face buried in Hoseok’s chest, Hoseok’s body Kihyun’s heaven and the blankets covering them, the soft sheets beneath them Kihyun’s simple, perfect paradise. 

But then, as Kihyun’s senses start to fully awaken, to come to life with the rest of his mind and body, he can feel that the dawn is approaching through Hoseok’s alpha sense of time. He can feel Hoseok’s determination and anxiety all wrapped up together inside of him, Hoseok already thinking ahead to what’s waiting for them today, rightfully worried, rightfully anxious, rightfully steadfast. 

As Kihyun slowly opens his eyes and tilts his head up, he immediately finds Hoseok’s gaze, the two of them lying there on the bed all tangled together, warm limbs and soft, sweet scent, the two of them looking at each other for one, long sweet moment, taking in this one, lovely sight of each other at their most open and most vulnerable. For what feels like eternity, Kihyun gazes dreamily into Hoseok’s eyes, eyes that are filled with love, deep, deep love, the kind of love that makes Kihyun wonder why he ever thought that sleeping could be better than this. 

It’s warm in the cabin despite the morning chill outside, and it’s completely silent. All that can be heard is the sound of their breathing, and if Kihyun listens closely, the sound of their hearts beating together. If they had been lying like this together in the early morning hundreds of years ago, before the great war, there would’ve been the songs of birds to greet them, surely. But there aren’t any birds left to sing, at least, not within the walls of the compound or anywhere close beyond. Kihyun wonders if maybe there are any birds still left out there somewhere, somewhere beyond the gates, beyond this prison, birds that will greet them every morning of their new, free life. 

Kihyun sighs deeply, slowly, taking his time as he keeps looking into Hoseok’s eyes and they communicate wordlessly. They both know that it’s time. It’s _their_ time. 

Their last morning, their last _moments_ spent in the cabin are strangely peaceful, strangely uneventful considering what they’re about to do, considering what’s at stake and what lies ahead. They untangle from each other carefully, bodies still slow with sleep, and they rise from the bed, not bothering to waste time or energy tidying anything up, and they move quickly and quietly, efficient as they take turns washing up while the other gathers belongings and supplies that they had packed and prepared yesterday and last night. They don’t have the time for a leisurely breakfast, or much breakfast at all, and so they eat just enough to give them the strength that they need, just warm bread and cold water to keep their minds clear, and within about twenty minutes, they’re already set to go. 

The sun is just barely beginning to rise outside, casting indigo into the cabin and faint glimmers of gold, and with it, their window of opportunity rises, too. 

The elders will be here soon to fetch them, their time slipping away fast, and they share a look as they stand there for a moment, standing right in front of the door, hand-in-hand. It’s the door that was keeping them in this entire time, the door that was meant to seal their fate. But now, it’s the door to their freedom, a door that they’ll step through together. They feel each other’s trust, each other’s resolve in what they’re about to do, and they squeeze each other’s hands between them and after a beat of silence, Hoseok nods. 

Kihyun releases Hoseok’s hand, their fingers lingering to touch, and then steps towards the door, Hoseok hovering right behind him, Kihyun moving towards the largest crack in the wood made from the storm, the one that offers them a glimpse at the outside world. He takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes and presses himself right up against the rough wood, and he slips his arm slowly through the crack, careful not to brush against any splinters as he reaches around to where he remembers seeing the lock on the outside, his arm cutting off their source of natural light, however little there is right now, anyway, and bathing the rest of the cabin and Hoseok in near total darkness. 

Behind him, Hoseok stands on alert, his fluffy tail swaying slowly, his ears perked up, his chest puffed out and his stance focused. Kihyun can’t see Hoseok with his eyes closed in concentration, of course, but he can sense him, and he knows what Hoseok is thinking and feeling. Even like this, he can feel every tiny movement that Hoseok makes just as he can feel his own, can sense every breath that Hoseok takes in, every beat of Hoseok’s heart and every miniscule shift in Hoseok’s scent. 

And the silence, at that moment, is among the greatest that Kihyun has ever known, if not _the_ greatest, not oppressive or terrible, but just _absolute_ , absolute as he feels for the lock with careful fingers, with bated breath and a pounding heart. Only a few seconds go by, but they feel like the longest seconds imaginable, stretching on so long that they almost become timeless. 

And then, Kihyun feels it, the cold metal of the latch, smooth and slightly wet from morning dew and remnants of the storm. It’s big and heavy, difficult to move, stiff from not being touched in days and from weathering winds and rain, still sticky from moisture, the wet wood having conformed somewhat around it. 

But it’s just a latch, that’s all, no need for a key when it can only be opened from the outside, when those confined to the inside are treated like animals closed into a pen. But the truth is, it’s fortunate that the cabins are designed this way; it would’ve been much more difficult for them to escape otherwise, and Kihyun lets out a quiet sigh, a quiet moan of effort as he pulls back the latch, unlocking the door with a low but heavy click. 

At that moment, Kihyun immediately opens his eyes and turns back to look at Hoseok, Kihyun’s arm still through the crack in the door and his hand still resting on the latch, and even in the dark Kihyun can see that Hoseok’s eyes are shining when they meet his own, Hoseok’s tail still swaying, a soft smile on his face and a gentle feeling within him flooding Kihyun in turn. It’s hope, and Kihyun feels it now too, more than anything else. 

Kihyun withdraws his arm carefully back inside the cabin, the faint glow of the approaching sunrise spilling back into the room and giving them light, and he lowers his hands then, presses them both flat onto the wood in front of him. There is no door knob or handle on the inside of this door, no need for it with the occupants not meant to open it from the inside, and so Kihyun pushes, letting out another soft moan of effort, because the door is much heavier than he would’ve expected. Hoseok takes a step forward after a moment as if to help, but Kihyun manages it on his own, pushing it open a little bit at a time with a long, low creaking noise, dust rising from the floor as he does so, the wood sticky and stubborn from being soaked by the storm. 

Kihyun pushes the door until it’s all the way open and he and Hoseok can see right outside. Hoseok steps up from behind him, then, to stand by his side, the supplies on Hoseok’s back, Kihyun not moving and looking straight ahead, Hoseok doing the same, and the both of them just take a moment to look out, and to take it all in. 

It’s the same compound that they’ve lived in their entire lives. A familiar sight, all wooden cabins as far as they can see, all of different sizes for different purposes but built much the same way, and rough but tidy dirt pathways, wells for water, generators for electricity, and of course, the tall gates surrounding the compound on all sides, so tall that they’re visible even from far away. Everything is simple, antiquated, functional and efficient, a community rebuilt from a desolated world but never progressed any further, the dawn sky a violet blanket above them, lined with the orange of the rising sun along the horizon, the moon still shining brightly and stars beginning to flicker out and fade as they do every morning. 

It’s the same as it’s always been, as it’s been for hundreds and hundreds of years without changing, but now, and for the two of them alone, it’s all different. 

It’s silent outside, too, nothing but the sound of a gentle morning wind blowing through the streets, blowing past the cabins and shaking the trees around the compound. The fresh air fills the space behind them and around them, fills their lungs, tastes so good and sweet and rich after being indoors for so long, all the scents of the forest, the earth, the sky, the water, everything swirling together into something truly wonderful. 

Kihyun takes in a deep, deep breath, lets it all fill him up and wash over him, as if cleansing him of the way that he’s come to view the world after a life spent behind these walls, as if showing him the truth, what the world really is. It’s not a prison, but an opportunity, a home, one great big home just waiting for them to return to its comforting embrace. Kihyun closes his eyes, and he sighs happily as Hoseok rests a gentle hand at the small of his back. 

Kihyun’s eyes flicker open at Hoseok’s touch as Hoseok rubs his hand gently up and down Kihyun’s back, Kihyun’s tail flicking happily and his ears twitching at the sensation, and they share another look, Kihyun watching fondly as the gentle breeze rustles through Hoseok’s hair and his furry feline ears, as the lingering moonlight shines in his eyes and as he smiles a soft, gentle smile again. And from there, they don’t waste another second. 

They step out together into the world that will soon be theirs to live in freely, a home without gates or boundaries or rules or pain, and as Kihyun steps out onto the dirt path, Hoseok carefully and quietly pulls the heavy wooden door of their mating cabin closed behind them, closing the latch to lock it once more while Kihyun steps over the damp ground slowly, looking around carefully on all sides for any sign of life or activity, his eyes wide and his lips slightly parted in focus, tail and ears raised as he takes in their surroundings. 

The pathways all appear empty, the air shrouding everything in a light layer of early morning mist, the breeze slightly chilly now that they’re fully outside, and without further pause, they leave the mating cabin behind them forever, making their way quickly and quietly down one of the pathways, Hoseok quickly taking the lead and guiding Kihyun the way that they had discussed. 

They’re silent the entire time, on high alert and focused only on moving forward as they make their escape. The compound is large and complex, hard to navigate because so much of it looks exactly the same from block to block of identical wooden cabins and dirt pathways, and it’s always been easy to get lost within the labyrinth, even for those who have lived there for their entire lives, even for those who aren’t under stress or pressure or limited time or trying not to be seen or noticed. And worse yet, Kihyun and Hoseok must cross nearly the entire area of the compound to get to the gate that they’re searching for, one of the smaller, less heavily-guarded side gates facing the thick bulk of the forest. That’s their plan and they’re sticking to it, they can’t stop now that it’s in motion, but it doesn’t make it any easier or any less risky, and they both know that it’s the only chance that they have. 

Their footsteps are soft, near silent even as they move fast and steady; they are half feline, after all. And as they stay focused and move quickly, skillfully through the compound like shadows, they keep their heartbeats and breathing as calm as they can so as not to give off a strong scent, Kihyun listening carefully for any sounds of anyone approaching, any signs of any activity, any shifts in the air or shifts in pheromones. But thankfully, the compound is peaceful this morning, and even the betas haven’t woken yet for their early morning work. 

As they scurry around the group of cabins where the elders reside, Kihyun’s nerves increase sharply, because the elders are awake, theirs cabins lit with activity inside, but even so, Kihyun and Hoseok are able to slip by quickly and make it past without their scent giving them away, Kihyun emotions not taking their full effect until they’re several streets away from the elders, near more of the beta quarters, Kihyun’s racing heart flooding him with adrenaline all the same as he uses every ounce of effort that he can to suppress his scent while still making sure to follow Hoseok’s every move. 

They’re getting close now, and they’ve already passed some of the toughest hurdles, but they can’t stop yet, not when they’re nearly there, and certainly not because of some stupid biological mistake, certainly not because of Kihyun exposing them with his stupid emotions and stupid omega scent. Kihyun won’t ever let his biology betray them now, not after everything that they’ve been through. 

Even as he runs ahead of him, Kihyun knows that Hoseok can sense the shift in Kihyun’s emotions, Kihyun’s increased anxiety as he starts to panic, and it affects Hoseok, too. As they stop for just a moment to check around a corner for the presence of anyone else, Hoseok turns to Kihyun with soft eyes and offers his hand, and like magic, just taking Hoseok’s hand in his own is enough to help Kihyun feel calmer. As they start to move again, it’s like Kihyun can feel his heartbeat slowing and steadying out, can feel his anxiety easing away into the palm of Hoseok’s large, warm hand. 

Fortunately, the beta scents all around them are strong enough to give them cover for the few moments that they need to pass through and for Kihyun to calm himself, and they continue on without further incident, each step seeming to take longer and longer as the compound seems to go on forever, to grow larger and larger with each minute that passes, any progress that they make only creating more distance to go, it seems. 

After several more long minutes of navigating through the maze of cabins and buildings in the compound, the sun finally starting to peek over the horizon and light their way, casting soft light on everything all around them, they finally spot the side gate up ahead, Hoseok immediately ducking down and pulling Kihyun down with him to hide in the shadows so that they can get a good look at the guards on duty at the top of the watch tower. 

Sure enough, there is only one guard on duty, and soon, it will be time for him to switch out, and when he does, it’ll be enough of a distraction so that they can slip right through the gate in a matter of minutes without being noticed and with nobody to pursue them, at least, not for hours, not until the elders go to their mating cabin and realize that they’ve escaped, and by then, Kihyun and Hoseok will be long gone, far away from here and never coming back. 

They stay ducked down and hidden there in the shadows, Hoseok guarding Kihyun, both of them waiting patiently, knowing that the rising sun means that the shift change is coming soon, and those long minutes just spent waiting there are some of the longest that Kihyun has ever felt. Hoseok isn’t holding his hand anymore, and Kihyun’s nerves are coming back, the most difficult part of all of this keeping his emotions in check and hiding his scent. 

The calmer they remain, the weaker their scent will be, the less chance that they have of being caught, and out here in the open, far from the residence cabins and the mingling scents of dozens of other hybrids, their scent will certainly give them away if it gets too strong, and the guards may be high up in the guard towers, barely visible from way down here on the ground, but if they don’t stay calm, their scent will travel to the guards’ noses all the same, and then, well, things will get very dangerous very quickly. 

And so, Kihyun lets Hoseok keep watch and focuses himself on breathing slowly, deeply, keeping his mind clear and his nerves in check, trusting Hoseok to know when to make their move. Hoseok knows exactly what he’s thinking and feeling, of course, and again, he turns back for a moment to reach for Kihyun’s hand, squeezing it gently between them and smiling before releasing it and turning back to watch for the guards, and it helps enough, just that small bit of contact, as the two of them wait together for that one, critical moment, Hoseok’s eyes on the guards and Kihyun’s eyes on the gate ahead, the one barrier left to their freedom. 

It’s a smaller gate than the ones in the front and the back of the compound, easily opened from the inside with just a line of large metal latches similar to the latches on the mating cabins, meant more for keeping bad things out than keeping the feline hybrids in. Most don’t want to escape, after all, most just want the safety and the security the compound provides, even if it is an oppressive prison. Still, from the looks of it, they can be in and out quickly and slip through without trouble so long as nobody is watching them, and that’s all that Kihyun thinks about, about what happens next, and about what’s waiting for them on the other side, the whole big world out there that he’s only ever read about in books and dreamed about at night. 

Kihyun blinks slowly, once, twice, staring right into the dark wood of the gate, and then, suddenly, it’s happening. Hoseok makes a nearly inaudible noise to get Kihyun’s attention, a noise that only Kihyun can hear, and he looks up at the tower in time to spot another guard appearing at the watch station who soon starts chatting with the one already there, clearly about to change shifts. This is it, this is the moment they’ve been waiting for. 

They don’t even waste a second to look at each other, already on the same wavelength anyway, their minds and their hearts united as one, and they make their way through the shadows quickly, eyes on the gate the entire time, moving carefully so as not to be spotted. And as they get closer, Kihyun’s heart rate increases, excitement coursing through him, and he can’t help but to smile, nearly laughing in joy, because it’s in reach now after so long, everything they’ve ever wanted, so close that they’ll soon be able to touch it, to feel it, to see it, to smell it, to taste their freedom just on the other side of the gate. 

They’re still some distance away, hurrying towards the gate together, when suddenly, everything changes, or rather, everything shatters. 

A new scent wafts into the air out of nowhere, thick, powerful, putrid, terrible, and it makes Kihyun’s stomach turn and his blood run ice-cold inside of him, Kihyun grabbing Hoseok’s hand and freezing them both right in their tracks, halting them to a stop right there in the middle of the dirt path just one good sprint away from the gate, right out in the open, Kihyun exposed and terrified as he recognizes it, as it causes a visceral reaction from his body, almost like a sudden illness that threatens to make him sick. 

It’s the scent of alphas. Angry, vicious, _hungry_ alphas. Lots of them. 

And from that moment, everything happens very quickly. 

Hoseok is tugging on Kihyun’s hand, urging him to move forward, to keep going, but Kihyun is like a statue, his feet rooted to the ground and his legs unable to move. It’s only at that moment that he realizes that it’s not just his own fear that he’s feeling, but Hoseok’s too, Hoseok’s fear for _him_. He needs to move, but it’s like he’s turned to stone as the scent gets stronger and stronger, clearer and clearer, undeniable and horrifying. 

It’s the three alphas that had harassed them at the cabin, that much is obvious. They’ve come back to try again, and this time, they’ve got six or seven more alphas with them, Kihyun counts, and maybe a dozen more right behind them. 

And Kihyun is overcome with such fear in that moment that it feels like it’s consuming him, like it’s swallowing him whole, like the two of them had walked right into the jaws of some ferocious beast without even realizing it. Their escape, their plans, the alphas finding them, the alphas starting to circle, it’s all too much to take in at once, even as Hoseok tugs on Kihyun’s arms and pulls him towards the gate, Kihyun’s body gone limp and his feet dragging along the ground, his legs wobbling as he tries to stay upright. 

Hoseok lets out a wail of a noise and drops their supplies to the ground, letting the bundles that they had put together slide off his shoulders and onto a heap on the ground, Hoseok completely abandoning their food and other gear as he makes to lift Kihyun, to throw him over his shoulder like a sack of flour, but it’s then, right then at the sound of Hoseok’s voice calling to him, frantic, terrified, that Kihyun snaps out of it. 

No, it can’t end like this. 

Kihyun is suddenly filled with a rush of resolve, not sure whether it’s his own, or Hoseok’s, or both, but it’s powerful, it’s pure, and it’s enough for him to start moving again, to take Hoseok’s hand in his and to run ahead of him, pulling Hoseok along as they once again rush together towards the gate. 

Kihyun holds onto Hoseok’s hand so tightly that it hurts, and they run as fast as they can as the alphas come closer, not yet within sight, but they can smell them everywhere all around them and cutting off every means of escape except forward. The alphas must have planned this, unsatisfied with being driven away from the cabin by an omega, spurred on by their lifelong animosity towards Hoseok for being the biggest and strongest of them all but refusing to fight and instead showing mercy and compassion, and filled with hateful desire to take Hoseok’s mated omega, to take Kihyun and to kill Hoseok right in front of him in the most brutal way imaginable, to take turns forcing themselves on Kihyun afterwards until there’s nothing left but to kill his and Hoseok’s babies as some sick, twisted display of dominance. 

That’s how alphas are. It’s why Kihyun has always feared them, it’s why the compound has always been such a terrible place, and this, this now, it’s like a nightmare come true, like dread and death itself chasing after them and grasping to rip them apart piece by piece. 

But at that moment, Hoseok squeezes his hand back as they keep running, something they’ve both quickly learned is the best way to ground Kihyun, to comfort him, and Kihyun is filled with a sudden rush of affection for Hoseok, for his beautiful, beloved mate, and he realizes the truth, then. 

Hoseok is a true alpha, he’s everything that an alpha should be. Brave, kind, noble, loving, one who stands up for the weak and the innocent, one who helps those in need of it, one who uses his strength and his power for good, for peace, for love and for kindness. The truth is, Hoseok is the only real alpha in the entire compound, and as Kihyun squeezes Hoseok’s hand back, Kihyun feels Hoseok’s love for him, their love for each other filling them both with strength. 

The guards have noticed the commotion, naturally, and now that they’ve abandoned any possibility of sneaking around, Kihyun and Hoseok stop trying to control their scent, letting it flood everywhere for miles, all throughout the compound, surely, thick and powerful with their adrenaline coursing through them and their hearts racing as they run faster than they’ve ever run before, and they’re so close now, practically at the gate, just a few more paces. 

As the guards shout, calling for others, alerting the entire compound to the escape attempt and the mob of rogue alphas, Kihyun and Hoseok finally make it to the gate, both very nearly slamming into the wall as they stop themselves with their hands because they were running so fast and didn’t take the time to slow down, and then, they’re both immediately reaching for the latches with wide eyes and shaking hands. There are at least a dozen of them, big and heavy just as they had expected, and Kihyun and Hoseok each get to work to open them as fast as they can. They don’t think about anything else but getting free, and they both know that once the gate is open, they’ll have to run, as fast as they can for as long as they can. 

They’re able to undo all of the latches in less than a minute thanks to their teamwork and quasi-telepathy, but the gate is made of solid, massive, and heavy wood, and even when they both push against it as hard as they can, at first, the gate doesn’t move at all, stuck firmly into the ground, the still-damp wood conformed to the dirt from the storm just as the mating cabin door had been, and besides, this gate is meant to be opened rather slowly by the pully and gear system controlled by the guards in the watch tower, not frantically and by the strength of just two individual hybrids. They had known this, of course, but hadn’t expected to be opening the gate under such desperate circumstances. 

The alphas and the guards get closer; Kihyun and Hoseok can hear them everywhere and can see them coming in their peripheral vision, the horrible snarling and their horrible scent, the shouts and the jeers and the growling, terrifying and terrible and building louder and louder, the earth beneath them starting to shake from the weight and the power of them coming, the whole compound waking up to the commotion, to the terror, and Kihyun and Hoseok do only what they can do. 

They don’t give up. They _won’t_ give up. 

They push and they push, and then, bit by bit, inch by inch, the gate starts to move, starts to open outward into the forest. Hoseok is pushing so hard now that he grits his teeth, the veins in his muscles bulging as he groans, and Kihyun is nearly screaming with the effort, tears spilling down his cheeks, tears that he didn’t even realize that he was holding back as the alpha mob and the guards surround them. 

But then, Hoseok suddenly stops pushing, immediately reaching for Kihyun’s shoulders and spinning him around roughly to face him. Kihyun is left a little winded, bewildered, his lips parting in shock as he looks up to Hoseok’s gaze, and Kihyun’s heart stops at the look on Hoseok’s face, at the storm of emotions inside of him that Kihyun feels shudder through his own body as he looks into Hoseok’s wide, frantic eyes. 

“You have to go,” Hoseok says, his voice calm and steady despite his expression, and Kihyun can feel it in his mind and his heart, Hoseok’s steel, his strength, not an ounce of hesitation or uncertainty to be found, only courage. Only love. “You need to run.” 

Kihyun suddenly realizes then what Hoseok is saying, and his own eyes go wide and wet with fresh tears, Kihyun’s voice shaking as he reaches for Hoseok’s face, cupping it in his hands. The danger, their doom, it’s getting closer, and they only have moments left, and yet, Kihyun takes one moment to touch Hoseok’s face, to look deep into his eyes and to speak from his heart. 

“I’m not going without you,” Kihyun says, taking a step closer to Hoseok and running his thumbs over Hoseok’s cheeks. They’re hot beneath his fingertips, rushed with blood beneath the surface of his skin. “Last night, you said that we’d leave this place. Both of us. Together.” 

“You have to go,” Hoseok repeats, face serious and stern, voice stable, his eyebrows furrowed. Kihyun can feel it as much as he can see it, that Hoseok has made up his mind. “This is it. This is the only chance. I can hold them back for a minute or two, and you need to go n—” 

“No!” Kihyun exclaims stubbornly, his voice broken and loud, hot tears rolling down his red cheeks. His face aches and he sobs, gripping Hoseok’s face tighter. “We make it together or we don’t,” he says, voice going soft, almost a whisper. “I don’t care if I live or die, as long as I’m with you.” 

There’s a moment of silence between them, just one moment, but it feels like forever as catastrophe crushes them in from all sides, from everywhere, the two of them staring into each other’s eyes soaked with tears and breathing heavily from exhaustion, from emotion, from everything. At this rate, there’s no way that they’ll be able to escape; even if they make it past the gate, they’ll be hunted down in minutes. They can’t fight off this many alphas and betas nor can they evade them for long. 

It truly seems like the end, the tragic end to their tragic little story, but if it is, well, Kihyun will be alright. As long as they’re together, as long as they can go on to the next life together, because Kihyun won’t let them kill Hoseok without killing him too. They belong together, now and forever. 

They look at each other, only at each other, Kihyun still clutching Hoseok’s face, and something comes over Hoseok’s expression then, something sure and true and pure that Kihyun feels down to his fingertips and toes. It terrifies him. 

“You have to escape from here, Kihyun,” Hoseok says, his voice low and quiet but powerful too. It’s almost a growl, washing over Kihyun in gentle waves. The alpha pull. 

Kihyun feels the tingles working through his mind and his body immediately, urging him to run, everything in him urging him to run, run, run, run, to run _now_ , and he wails as he fights it, Hoseok calmly looking into Kihyun’s eyes, Hoseok’s hands reaching to hold Kihyun’s neck gently, just below his jawline. 

“Hoseok, don’t!” Kihyun screams, but Hoseok just pulls him in for a kiss, deep and passionate, pouring everything that he has into it, both of their eyes slipping closed as they melt into each other for one long, endless moment, the last moment, maybe, Kihyun sobbing into it as their lips perfectly form together before Hoseok pulls back again, both of them opening their eyes to look straight at each other, and Hoseok’s voice goes low and deep again, the growl of alpha pull. 

“Forget about me,” Hoseok says, the alpha pull taking hold of Kihyun’s mind and body like restraints tightening around him and strangling him around his throat, at the same time pulling him down and drowning him. “Run and don’t look back. Don’t stop running until you’re safe.” 

Kihyun is sobbing, wailing, tears flowing freely down his cheeks as Hoseok’s hands slip from his neck and Hoseok takes a step away from him, not breaking eye contact and still looking deep into Kihyun’s eyes with the most apologetic, heartbroken expression that Kihyun has ever seen, a look that shatters his own heart into a thousand pieces. 

And even now, Kihyun can begin to feel the alpha pull working on him, and it’s the most horrible thing that he’s ever experienced, all of his memories of the past few days slipping away, fading away into nothing like water slipping through his fingers or smoke vanishing into the air, and he can’t stop it, and it’s like the harder that he tries to hold on, the faster that he forgets. 

And every second that he spends looking into Hoseok’s eyes, they become less and less familiar, until he doesn’t recognize him anymore, until he doesn’t know who it is that he’s looking at, who this alpha is that’s staring at him with such intensity, tears flowing down his cheeks and his scent the most comforting, lovely scent that feels so perfect, so right, a scent that feels like home even if the face looking at him right now is one that he doesn’t know. 

And Kihyun is weeping, too, crying harder than he’s ever cried in his entire life, but he can’t remember why anymore, only that his heart feels tremendous, overwhelming pain, more than just his own, squeezing his whole chest in an unbreakable iron grip. 

For some reason, Kihyun is wheezing, and he can’t remember how he got here or _why_ he’s even here in the first place. He can’t seem to remember much of anything at all, only that he was in the mating cabin awaiting his match one moment and now, suddenly, he’s here and surrounded by guards and by a mob of alphas, and it feels like he’s forgotten something of incomparable importance, like he’s forgotten some essential part of his identity, of his _soul_. And this alpha in front of him, he’s not like any alpha that Kihyun has ever encountered before, and Kihyun feels inexplicably drawn to him, taking a step towards him, reaching out for him without knowing why. 

But before Kihyun can take another breath or another step forward, the handsome alpha in front of him is suddenly grabbing him and pushing him roughly through the small space in the open gate, to the outside world, Kihyun collapsing to the ground just beyond the walls, falling right into the dirt from the force of being pushed, hitting the ground in a rough impact that knocks the wind right out of him. 

He just lies there on the soil for a long moment, shocked, frozen in fear and confusion, until he hears voices, the guards coming for him, because he’s just escaped the compound, the very thing that he’s dreamt of for so long now, and at that moment, Kihyun’s mind is taken over by the urge to run, an urge so intense, so absolute that it takes hold of every cell in his body. 

And so, he pulls himself together and scrambles up quickly, not bothering to brush the dirt off of himself, not looking back, only looking forward, out into the forest, deep and dense and full of the unknown, _itself_ the unknown, the sky still dark above him as morning comes slowly, not caring the slightest about what’s happening beneath its skies, and though Kihyun has dreamt of this for so long, now that he’s faced with the open world ahead of him, he feels terrified. But he also feels ready, truly ready, and whether it be terrible or wonderful, whether it be freedom or death to come, whatever’s waiting for him out there, he knows what he must do now. 

He takes a deep breath, just one, long and slow. And then, he runs. 

He runs, and he runs, and he runs, out into the forest, past the rush of trees and over uneven terrain, through clusters of branches and over heaps of sharp, jagged rocks. He runs as fast and as hard as he possibly can, using the full effort of his weak little omega body. 

He runs, and he doesn’t know why or how but he keeps going, even as he hears shouting back at the compound, the sound of fighting, vicious, brutal noises of hybrids fighting guards, hybrids fighting each other, alphas growling and snarling and ripping each other to pieces, the horrible stench of it all, the violence and the hunger. Whatever he’s leaving behind, it’s a bloodbath, it’s evil and cruelty made tangible, made physical. 

Somehow, he was able to escape, that he knows. Somehow he got through, and he has to keep running until he’s safe, it’s all that he can think about, it’s what his entire being is yelling at him, and in a deep, low voice that he doesn’t recognize but that he trusts absolutely. _Run, run, run, run, keep running until you’re safe._

But it’s troubling, it’s distressing how he can’t remember anything that got him to this point, can’t remember the series of events that resulted in this chance, this desperate sprint for his freedom. It’s like an entire section of his brain has been erased, and not just any section, but the most important one, and all that’s left of it is the shadow of what was once there, just the faintest, weakest glimmer that tells him that yes, he’s missing something, replaced by the urge to keep running, to keep moving at any cost until he’s safe. 

Safe. He knows he’s not safe yet, he just knows it, he can sense that he’s being pursued. He’s gotten a head-start, sure, but he’s only an omega, he isn’t very strong or physically very capable, and he can smell and hear the guards chasing after him about a mile back, much stronger hybrids, alphas and betas, too, but he can’t let them catch him, not now, not when he’s out and on the verge of freedom. 

He lets his adrenaline take over, his adrenaline and that strange, deep voice in his head, lets them push him well beyond his own limits as he runs like he’ll die if they catch him, because he very well might, or, more likely, he’ll be sentenced to a fate worse than death, a life back in chains. He can’t remember a thing, but he knows that simple exile will certainly be off the table if he’s caught. 

And so he runs, and he keeps running, and he focuses only on running and nothing else. Along the way, he doesn’t stop for even a moment, for even a second, doesn’t slow even when he’s scraped and scratched all over as he pushes through thick, twisting branches, doesn’t slow even when he’s long gone from the pathway leading into the compound and finds himself running deep through wild, untamed forest. He’s bleeding what feels like everywhere; he can feel the pain pulsing through him and he can smell his own blood, but he keeps going, his heart pounding painfully hard and his lungs feeling like they’ll burst, his breathing heavy as he pants and keeps running, wheezing, his whole body in agony as he runs, runs, runs, runs. 

He keeps going for what feels like hours, deep, deep, deep into the forest, so deep that the morning sunlight (because it’s well into the morning now) is almost completely obscured by the trees above him. It’s dark and cool, and he can barely see where he’s going, and he has no idea what direction he’s headed in now as the forest grows thicker and thicker, indistinguishable from tree to tree, from step to step. But still, he keeps going, he has to keep going until he’s safe, and he knows that he’ll know it when he is, somehow. 

Eventually, something deep within him _does_ sense it, that it’s time, that he’s made it, that he’s _safe_ , and he stops running abruptly, so abruptly that he trips over his own feet as his whole body gives out at once from exhaustion, like a switch suddenly flipped off, Kihyun collapsing to the ground, falling right into the dirt in a heap, breathing so hard that he feels like he’ll be sick, his heart beating so fast that it feels like it’ll explode in his chest, every bone and muscle contracting and aching as black spots dance around his vision and tears stream down his face, tears of relief, of exhaustion, and of a million other things, it seems. 

And from that moment, a sudden sense of calm washes over him. His face is smushed into the cold, wet dirt, his eyes are closed, his mouth is hanging open as he breathes heavily, but the forest around him is bathing him in so many new sensations, so much that he’s never known before, amazing, incredible, better than he could have ever even imagined, filling him up from the inside out, and yet, he’s too exhausted to appreciate it, to fully take it all in, and he still doesn’t know _why_. 

And he can still feel something else, too, stirring inside of him, unfamiliar and strange and intense. He feels terror and heartache, so strong that it almost overwhelms the relief that he’s feeling, and the swirl inside of him of all that he’s experiencing is so violent and strong that it makes his head spin. It blurs his vision and makes his stomach twist and turn, and it’s too much to take all at once, and he doesn’t know what it is or what it means, what this weight on his shoulders or this pressure inside of him is, or why he feels so... _incomplete_ despite finally getting everything that he ever wanted. 

All he knows now is that he’s stopped running, and it’s because now, despite the turmoil inside of him that he can’t fully explain, he’s safe. Despite everything, he’s finally safe. He’s finally free. 

And from there, his consciousness slips away, his body and mind too exhausted to stay awake any longer, and the world fades out around him quickly, darkness closing in as he falls into the comforting arms of oblivion.


	8. Chapter 8

Following his desperate escape through the forest, Kihyun discovers all too quickly that the outside, the freedom beyond the walls of the compound, the big beautiful world out there that he’s always dreamed of and yearned for, is not quite the perfect, blissful paradise that he had expected. It’s not any kind of paradise at all, really. 

Well, maybe _somewhere_ it is, somewhere further out, far from here, far beyond the reach of this forest and its thick, tall, endless lines of trees. Maybe somewhere out there lie the fields of wildflowers and the pools of clear, blue water, the brilliant orange sunsets and the wide-open crystal skies that Kihyun had always pictured when he had imagined freedom, when he had imagined what it would be like to _be free_. Somewhere out there was a world that wasn’t destroyed, a world that wasn’t desperate and hungry, a world that had survived and thrived, reclaimed itself from millennia of humanity destroying it, just waiting for him to discover it, just waiting to embrace him in its arms. 

But _here_ , here in the forest, Kihyun is just alone and afraid, confused and weak, unsure what to do, unsure how he even got to this point, his situation growing more desperate by the moment as he’s quickly faced with the reality of what it really means to have escaped, what it really means to be on his own and out in the world and in such a vulnerable state, and not only is it definitively _not_ paradise, it’s anything _but_ paradise. 

He wanders for several days following his escape from the compound, the complete circumstances of which he still can’t even begin to wrap his head around, but he figures that there will be time to figure that all out later, when he’s found a place to settle, when he’s managed to find the basic necessities for continued survival. And those few days wandering in the forest feel like the longest, most difficult days of his life as he grapples with physical, mental, and emotional hardship the likes of which he’s never before experienced, and never like this, never so completely _alone_. 

Because the thing of it is, there’s something very frightening about being alone, being really, truly alone. Yes, he had always been the type to enjoy his solitude at the compound, to enjoy his books and keep to himself, to treasure his time away from the other hybrids, whom he had never much gotten close to. If he had been asked before whether he’d enjoy being alone in the woods, he probably would’ve said that yes, he’d enjoy it immensely. 

But he’s never actually been alone like _this_ , with not another soul around for miles and miles, and he’s only now realizing how the presence of others, of civilization, was a necessary comfort that he took for granted, and that being alone like this is more terrifying than he ever could have imagined. 

The only way he’s even able to keep track of how much time goes by is by some strange, unnamable instinct deep inside of him that he doesn’t recognize and can’t explain, something that tells him roughly when it’s morning or afternoon even when the sky and the light from above are mostly obscured by the trees. 

Beyond that, he finds it increasingly difficult to be able to tell exactly how much time goes by minute to minute, second to second. There are times when he stops to rest, unsure if he’s been sitting on the ground for only a few minutes or if it’s been hours, and there are times when he bolts to escape some menacing shadow or strange noise in the leaves, unsure if he’s sprinted in fear for an entire day or for only thirty seconds. 

The forest grows thicker and darker the further that he ventures in, the trees condensing, looming, seeming to slowly squeeze him in from all sides. It feels like the forest is slowly consuming him, swallowing him whole little by little, as if he’s an insect that’s blindly wandered into the folds of some great, carnivorous plant, slowly closing in, so slowly that he can’t even feel it until it’s too late, until all that’s left is for him to be dissolved and digested. 

And to make matters worse, Kihyun doesn’t have the faintest idea of where he’s going. He had always been so focused on escaping, thinking that that would be the difficult part, that he had never given much thought to what would happen next, where he would go after he was finally out of the reaches of the compound. 

He had always just assumed that it would come naturally, what to do and where to go, but now that he’s actually here and without a clue, it’s just another unwelcome kind of terror, having no idea where he is or what's coming, or what he’ll do to survive from now on. It makes time itself seem much more menacing, like a clock always ticking in the back of his mind, reminding him that his survival depends entirely on what happens in the next few days. 

The forest is huge, so much larger than the compound, so much larger than anything that Kihyun has ever seen. It’s one thing to see the world on maps, drawn in pictures and diagramed in books, so small and innocent on the page, and quite another to actually be right in the middle of it, to really understand just how big it is. 

He knows that the forest must end eventually, at least, according to the old maps, but it’s hard to believe when he’s here inside of it, because it seems truly endless, and so much of it looks exactly the same, blurs of green and brown and gold, beautiful like a painting, but it feels like if he dies here, it will be like he never existed; he’d be just a tiny speck of dust swallowed up into the background, blending in to the rest of the green and the brown and the gold as if he was never anything else. 

It’s so dark this far into the forest, with how thick and dense the trees are, especially at night when he tries to rest, and at certain points, it’s almost like there’s no light at all, like he’s wandering through an abyss, even his feline eyes struggling to see when so much of the natural light is hidden away. 

And without much light to guide him, it’s hard to tell if he’s going in one direction or if he’s going in circles, if he’s going forward away from the compound or back towards it. He tries the best that he can to stay in the same direction, with the thought that as long as he does, he’ll eventually exit the forest, unless the old maps were wrong and the forest has already covered the entire world. 

And above all else, he keeps thinking the same thought, the same realization coming back to him over and over again, that it feels like he escaped from one prison only to fall right behind the walls of another, only this time, the walls don’t seem possible to overcome, and his survival along the way is always in question. 

Because the harsh truth is, the confusion and the uncertainty are far from the worst parts of being alone in the forest. They surely don’t help, but Kihyun finds himself much more focused on other more pressing matters, matters that threaten his very survival. He can’t say that he had thought about it very much until now, about just how much it really takes to survive and to function properly as a living creature day by day, and it’s only now that he realizes that he’s always taken for granted the basic necessities just to stay alive. 

For one, he’s starving. He hasn’t eaten a thing since he was back at the compound, and he can’t even remember what the last thing that he ate was, it’s all part of the week or so that’s mysteriously disappeared from his memory. Needless to say, it’s difficult to be able to focus on things like navigation and finding his way out of the forest when he’s growing weaker and weaker by the day, by the hour, dizzy and exhausted with hunger to the point that it’s painful and every step feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, every breath a herculean effort as his stomach threatens to collapse in on itself. 

He doesn’t have any hunting skills, not that he even has the energy for it, not that there are even many creatures around after the war to hunt. The elders had been wrong, of course, when they had insisted that the hybrids were the only ones left, them and the small keeps of livestock that were kept within the walls of the compound. Kihyun had always known that nature was more resilient than the elders gave it credit for, had always suspected that there’d be more creatures out in the world past the walls, that the elders’ stories about a desolate, un-survivable world were probably just scare tactics to try to keep the hybrids in line. 

And it turns out that Kihyun’s suspicions were correct. He sees plenty of insects thriving in the forest, and occasionally sees small rodents or birds scurrying away from him, and his feline instincts want him to hunt, _crave_ for it, but the creatures are small and few, weak and innocent, and after yearning to see other living creatures for his entire life, he just doesn’t have the heart to capture any of them, never mind his lack of skills or strength. He’s no killer, despite his feline side, despite his growing hunger and increasing lack of options. As for any bigger creatures that might be living in the forest, well, Kihyun certainly hopes not to run into any of them at all. He has a nasty feeling that he wouldn’t exactly be the predator in that situation, if they were to meet in the depths of the forest with nothing and nobody else around. 

He’s not much of a gatherer, either, even if there was anything really to gather. He doesn’t see any fruit or berries growing, not anywhere, and while he’s sure from his books and from what he’s learned that some of the plants that he sees around him might be edible, he doesn’t have the knowledge to identify any of them as safe to eat, and the last thing that he wants to do is to stupidly poison himself on some random algae or mushroom. 

He’s much too weak to go through the effort of it all, anyway, or to appreciate how much of this is brand new, to appreciate seeing all of this in real life for the first time ever. And he wants so badly to be able to appreciate it just like he’s always dreamed of, but it’s hard to be able to enjoy any of it when his entire situation just seems to spell out his doom more than anything else. It makes him terribly sad, to think about how much he had always yearned to explore, to learn, to experience new things, but how right now, he just hopes for the familiar more than anything else, just hopes for something, _anything_ that he can recognize. 

And far, far worse than the hunger is the thirst. There isn’t much water in the forest, and it seems like he spends most of his time every day just looking for water, desperate for every little bit that he can find, every drop precious, more precious than anything, whether it’s a puddle of rain water on the ground or morning dew collected on the leaves or the tiniest bit of condensation pooled onto the cracks in one of the forest’s large, jagged piles of rocks. 

But it’s never enough, and as it is it’s just barely enough to keep him alive, and it’s beginning to take a toll on him, more intensely than any other challenge that he’s facing. The lack of water weakens him even more than the hunger does, makes his head fuzzy and dizzy, makes his vision blurry, gives him headaches and nausea that never cease, causes him to retch on nothing and moan in agony, his throat dry and sore and burning, the dehydration making him hallucinate when it’s not making him shiver and sweat from nothing, threatening to kill him long before anything else gets the chance to. 

He has so many scrapes and cuts and scratches and bruises all over his body, too, and he’s battered and broken but he can’t bring himself to rest for very long, not when he’s so weak and his head hurts so much. Even when he’s able to rest for a few hours, to sleep a very shallow, hazy sleep with a pounding headache, ragged breathing, and an anxious, racing heart that never slows, lying his body on a pile of leaves with his face in the dirt or on some rocks, it gets harder and harder to stand back up each time, to just _wake up_ , even, and he knows very well what it all means. It means that he’s running out of time, that if he doesn’t find some kind of shelter, some kind of stable situation and stable food and water, he’ll be dead within another day or two. 

Thankfully, the lack of suitable shelter has been one of his less worrying concerns. There hasn’t been any kind of storm or harsh weather conditions since he escaped, mostly mild temperatures with some light rain and winds, and the trees shelter him from the sunlight during the hottest hours of the day. But still, he knows that it’s only a matter of time before a storm comes through, and the nights, already cold and bitter so that he’s only able to stay warm by curling in close to himself and hugging his own tail, will only get colder with time, as the seasons change and the weather transitions. 

The most dangerous part is being out in the open when he’s trying to sleep or to rest, being vulnerable to whatever may be lurking in the forest, to whatever may be eyeing him as dinner. His instincts do well in this regard, keep him on alert even in sleep, because he never feels quite safe, or any bit of safe at all, really, but difficult rest means he’s never quite fully refreshed, never quite ready to face the challenges of the next day, and he supposes it’s why each day seems to be getting worse and worse, longer and longer, like he’s inching closer and closer and closer to his own demise. 

And when he’s not tormented by any of his physical needs, when he tries his best to recover and to sleep as restfully as he can at night, his mind will never let him. It’s the anxiety, the worry, the fear, the heartache. It drives him crazy, his strange bout of amnesia, and he has the oddest mood swings that he can’t explain or keep track of, feels pain and hunger and thirst and nausea that’s not his own, and he feels the deepest, most terrible kind of heartache, a longing that he doesn’t understand at all, someone else’s feelings that he has to contend with on top of everything else, on top of his own worries and sorrows. He wonders if he already died days ago, if he’s already in hell, to have finally gotten what he wanted only for it to be the worst thing that he’s ever experienced. 

He grows sicker and weaker exponentially after the fourth or fifth day, especially in the mornings when he wakes and retches, or at night when he’s unable to sleep for hours and hours, and as the time goes on, slower and slower, stretched out like some twisted nightmare, he wonders what the purpose of all of this is, the point of surviving this, if he even can manage to survive it at this point. He’s all alone, and he’s suffering terribly, and he wonders what kind of life he could even live out here all by himself even if he were to find the stable necessities for continued survival. 

And no matter what, he just can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t what it’s supposed to be, that this isn’t how _any_ of this is supposed to be. He doesn’t feel the fulfillment, the satisfaction that he thought that he’d feel, that a few days of freedom was better than a life in prison, a life as a slave to the compound, that if he died, at least he’d die free. 

If he could put it into words, this strange, amorphous, overwhelming feeling, he’d say that something is missing. 

Something very, very important is missing. The _most_ important thing is missing. 

He doesn’t know what it is, but he just feels that this needs something more, that there was something else to all of this, and without it, all of this is meaningless. And he wishes that he could just let it go, that he could just accept that he doesn’t understand it, but it becomes an obsession, one that’s more and more difficult to shake off the harder that he tries to rid himself of it. 

He makes it about six days following his escape from the compound before he reaches the day that he’s sure will be his last. He wakes up just knowing it, knowing that today is his last chance, that he’ll die if he doesn’t find what he needs in the next couple of hours. 

And yet, he’s strangely calm about the whole thing, about the idea of dying. He’s thought about it a lot these past few days, about what a relief it will be, about how nice it will be to be swallowed up, no more pain or fear, to become a part of the big beautiful world that he’s always loved so much. In a way, it seems poetic, but his heart feels heavy, too, like there was something else, something else that he wanted and needed to be living for, if only he could remember it clearly, if only he could even think about anything else other than finally being able to die in peace. 

He trudges on, step by step, well into the late afternoon, or at least, what he senses is the late afternoon, because as always, he can’t really be sure. It’s humid today, the air filled with the static of an oncoming rainstorm, sticky with moisture, the forest busier than usual as creatures seek shelter, but Kihyun doesn’t worry about that; he thinks he’ll already be dead by the time that the storm hits. 

Kihyun keeps going anyway, though the forest is still nowhere near ending, if he ever even got close to the end at all, and eventually, as the sun starts to set, Kihyun’s body just can’t take it anymore, and he wheezes as he collapses to the ground in a heap, right into the soft dirt, cold and damp from the mist, his eyes closed and his mouth hanging open, his breathing shallow and weak as he wheezes, his heart beating slowly, faintly, his tail limp and his limbs numb. He can feel his senses dulling, the world around him fading out, and all of the pain, the hunger, the exhaustion, the thirst, and everything else fading away until all that’s left is the inside of his own head. 

He has visions, as he lies there sprawled in the dirt waiting for death, as the world grows softer, blurrier, and quieter all around him. He sees memories, flickers of images, little things that he doesn’t recognize or remember even as they flash behind his eyes, but the feelings that accompany them, the emotions, they feel familiar. 

He feels affection, for someone else, directed towards himself, a collection of phantom feelings, and he feels touches all over him, warm and strong, and the scent of vanilla, vanilla and sugar that he tastes now on his tongue, and the scent of wood, and the sound of a deep, rumbling voice that rolls through him and makes him shiver and melt. 

He feels it all at once, and other things pressing in on him, and something inside of him trying to will him to survive, to keep going, but he’s just too weak now, and it’s only growing more and more appealing to just let go, to just let it all end. He doubts he’d be able to make it now even if food and water and shelter were just a few steps away. 

And so, he goes still, lets his tail just lie there on the ground and lets his whiskers droop, his body starting to feel light and weightless as he succumbs to it, lets it carry him far, far away from here into the comfort of darkness once more, only this time, he doesn’t expect that he’ll wake again. 

\---------- 

From somewhere far, far away, far above him and in the distance, faint and unclear, there are voices, voices that Kihyun doesn’t recognize, but they’re calling to him softly, they’re speaking to him, urging him to wake, urging him to open his eyes and to breathe. He wonders if he’s died already and the voices are from the afterlife, but then, he starts to feel his own body again, the pain, the aches, and he realizes that he’s still alive, miraculously. Unfortunately. He can’t say that he really has the energy to be alive any longer. 

Their scent is...strange. It’s something soft, nonthreatening. He can’t quite place what it is exactly, maybe some kind of flower, but it’s gentle and easy, nonintimidating, simple. It’s familiar. He knows it, even if he doesn’t know _them_. He knows what this scent is, can recognize who they are, _what_ they are, if only he could place it properly in his mind, match the scent to the correct label. 

He doesn’t have the energy to fear if they might be predators come to take him home for dinner, or for some other nefarious purpose. He’s too weak to fight or to do much of anything, and he can barely process or understand what’s happening, let alone move or wake, and so he just keeps lying there on the ground, the soft, warm ground, and he’s gently nudged by two soft hands, the voices calling out to him over and over and over again. 

They must know that he’s still alive (if only just barely) by his scent, and they’re getting louder, more assertive even as Kihyun’s breathing is faint and his heartbeat slow, nearly stopped. Kihyun wonders why they can’t just leave him alone to die already if they aren’t here to do the job themselves. He guesses that he’s already far beyond saving. 

But it’s at that moment that he’s suddenly doused in water, and despite the fact that the water is cold as ice, a sudden and unpleasant shock to his system and to every nerve in his body, he’s barely able to react. All he can do is groan in misery, struggling to open his eyes, his head spinning with dizziness as his stomach twists and his limbs recoil from way more stimulation than they can handle right now. 

His eyes open slowly, weakly, and the world is blurry, unfocused, dull and nearly colorless, but as he blinks once, twice, it begins to come into focus, the colors begin to appear, and he sees two faces looking down at him from where he lies on his back on the ground, sprawled out and half-dead, soaked in ice water and shivering, feeling like he’ll faint or be sick at the very least. 

Two feline hybrid faces looking down at him. And he recognizes their scent now, is able to place it properly. Betas, two betas. Kihyun’s stomach drops in disappointment. They’re probably here to take him back to the compound, to bring him to punishment for his escape attempt. And so, it was all for nothing, all that he went through, the pain, the hunger, the thirst, the turmoil. He’ll never be able to do it again, he’ll never get another chance. He’s got a target on his back now, doubts he’ll ever be allowed to even see daylight again after this. Now more than ever he wishes he could just die already. 

One of them is talking quite a lot, asking Kihyun way too many questions all at once, his voice grating and fast as he seems to speak all in one breath, and Kihyun can’t understand anything that he’s saying, not when his brain is rebooting from near total shutdown. 

The other beta is quiet, helps Kihyun to sit up and helps Kihyun to drink a large canteen filled with cold water, some of which had been poured onto him, he realizes now, and is still dripping from his hair and his feline ears. Kihyun shivers as he drinks, not looking at either of them, but not looking at anything, really. 

It’s the first proper drink that he’s had in days, in way too long, and he tunes out the betas and ignores them, closes his eyes as he drinks greedily, swallowing down large gulps of water, too much water, his stomach hurting as he suddenly coughs and water spills down his mouth and chin. The betas react in concern, but Kihyun just drinks more, drinks and drinks even as he coughs and wheezes through it and even as water drips down his neck. 

The betas wait patiently for him to finish, and Kihyun’s not really sure how much time goes by, only focused on the cold water and how good it feels going down his throat. Is it minutes? Hours? When he’s finished, he groans and opens his eyes again, gets a good look at them with water still dripping down his face as he hands the now-empty canteen back to them. 

Yes, they’re clearly two feline hybrids just like he is, but from their scent, he identifies them both as betas for sure. They’re both similar in size, tall and thin with pretty features, both of them like supermodels if he’s being honest, like the images of princes that Kihyun used to see in fairytale books, very beautiful in a different way than Kihyun is used to seeing, not at all like the worker betas that Kihyun has lived his whole life with. Kihyun wonders why these two were the ones sent to retrieve him; they certainly don’t look like the hunting type. 

One of them, the excited, chattering one, is slightly smaller than the other, and he has bright eyes and a bright smile, has fluffy ears and a big, fluffy tail, butter-yellow and well taken care of. The other one, meanwhile, has a much calmer, much more mellow demeanor, almost sleepy-looking but kind, with sleek, dark fur covering his feline ears and tail, much like Kihyun’s own in texture, but closer to black than Kihyun’s own chocolate-brown. 

Kihyun just stares at them for a long moment, blinking slowly, and they stare back at him, Kihyun wondering what they’re doing here, where they came from, because he’s only now beginning to realize that they aren’t from the compound at all. He can’t say that he knows every single beta in the compound, but he certainly doesn’t recognize these two, and their scent is very different from the betas that Kihyun had lived and grown up with. 

Kihyun still doesn’t speak or make a sound, his mind and body still coming back to life as he tries to piece everything together, that he hasn’t been caught after all, but here are these two betas so far from the compound and they’ve brought him water, they knew he was in danger. 

Finally, the chatty beta starts to talk again at Kihyun, rushed and loud at first, like a frantic buzzing. He says a lot very quickly, and Kihyun doesn’t respond, still stuck on the first few words, and the beta rolls his eyes, moving in closer to Kihyun and getting right up in his face, mischief sparkling in his eyes. 

“We’re. Here. To. Help. You,” the beta says, speaking loud and slow, exaggerating each syllable as if he thinks that Kihyun has a hearing problem, and Kihyun winces, the voice much too loud for him right now, like each word is stabbing at the inside of his head, and he recoils back, his feline ears flattening in discomfort. 

“He can hear you just fine, Min,” the other beta says, his voice surprisingly low and deep and slow, almost a drawl, and he turns back to Kihyun, giving him a soft smile. “Our patrol spotted you a few hours ago not looking so great, came running back to the village, and Minhyuk and I were sent to retrieve you. To rescue you. That’s our job.” 

Kihyun blinks again, slowly, his throat hurting, but he’s finally able to must the strength to speak, his voice coming out weak and broken as his eyes dart back and forth between the two of them. “P-patrol?” is all he can manage to ask, though there are naturally dozens, hundreds of questions racing through his mind, stumbling over each other and colliding, and he can’t much seem to settle on just one. But it seems as though even though he has no clue what’s going on, he might not be dying today after all. 

“You must have a lot of questions,” the loud one, Minhyuk, says. “Let’s get you in decent condition first, and then we can explain everything.” He then turns to the other beta, nodding in Kihyun’s direction. “Help him out, Won,” he says. “And then we can start heading back.” 

The sleepy-looking beta offers his hand to Kihyun, Kihyun taking it with a weak grip after a long moment of hesitation, and the beta helps him to stand up slowly, bringing a hand to Kihyun’s back to help him balance, all while Minhyuk digs through a large satchel slung over his shoulder. The second beta smiles again, looking at Kihyun with concern and kindness. 

“You’re safe now,” the beta says quietly. “We’re here to help you. I’m Hyungwon. What’s your name?” 

Kihyun gapes at him for a moment, still a bit dizzy, and it takes him a few seconds to even remember. “Kihyun,” he says, finally, his voice still quiet and weak. He’s unsure about these two, who they are, what they want, whether he can trust them. It’s always been in his nature to be suspicious, and especially in a situation like now, where he knows so little and is so vulnerable in so many ways. 

“You’re from that nasty old compound, right? The one that’s been around for centuries.” Minhyuk asks, handing Kihyun some bread from his satchel, and Kihyun forgets everything else for the moment at the sight of it. 

He doesn’t answer Minhyuk, just takes the bread a little too quickly, immediately blushing bright red from embarrassment as he looks at them both apologetically, but they both just chuckle softly and give him a minute to eat, being very careful with Kihyun like he’s a wild animal that might bolt if they frighten him. Kihyun supposes that he is, at this point, and that he very well just might. 

Kihyun eats for a few minutes, chewing slowly and breathing heavily through his nose as he does. The bread tastes amazing, fresh and soft from being baked that morning, and of course, he hasn’t eaten anything in so long, they could’ve given him sawdust and he’d have devoured it. He eats, and when Minhyuk repeats his question, Kihyun nods, his cheeks full of bread. Even if these two do have nefarious intentions, at least they fed him first and gave him water. But the more that he interacts with them, the more Kihyun doubts that they’re up to anything malicious. His instincts tell him that these two are in fact here to help him, and that he should feel relieved and grateful, which he does, truly. 

“You’re not the first that we’ve taken in from there, not at all,” Minhyuk continues. “Runaways, exiles, they’ve all been coming to our village for decades, finding a home and a place with us. Heck, they say that the ones who started the village in the first place came from the compound, a group of omegas who had been exiled a long, long time ago.” 

“We don’t use any of those names or labels, though,” Hyungwon pipes up. “Things like omega, beta, alpha, whatever. None of that. There are many different kinds of hybrids in the village, from all over and from every manner of circumstance, and those who aren’t hybrids at all, but we’re all just people. We’re all equal, judged not by the way that we were born, but only by who we really are and how we treat and care for others.” 

Kihyun listens carefully and takes in all of the information that they’ve just given him, processes it for a moment, thinking hard as he keeps eating. These two are from another place, not the compound but a different community, a village, they keep calling it. So the compound wasn’t the only community left after all. Kihyun had always assumed that there had to be others, that the compound wasn’t all that there was or ever would be, but to have it actually confirmed, it gives him the smallest but warmest feeling inside. Is it hope? He isn’t sure, but it’s probably the first good feeling that he’s had since he escaped. 

He wonders how far that he’s run, how far that he’s wandered to find such another community, and one willing to take him in and to help him, one where it doesn’t matter that he’s an omega or that he slipped the walls of his home and ran away. And these two are feline hybrids just like him; it’s strange to think about how they got there, how long there has been this whole other community of feline hybrids (and other hybrids too, they mentioned) just on the other side of the forest. Kihyun’s head is spinning, dizzy, hurting, because it’s a lot to handle all at once. 

“But you two...are betas,” Kihyun says, still having some trouble working his voice. His body aches all over, still, and he feels sick from eating and drinking so fast, but he’s starting to feel just the tiniest bit better, and as he blinks a few more times, he can see that his vision is getting clearer, stronger, and his head is beginning to settle. He’s beginning to feel like he might be okay after all, and he looks at the two betas in confusion, his tail swaying slowly behind him. 

“Not in our village, we aren’t,” Minhyuk says. “We may still carry the biological traits like our scents and instincts, but we don’t follow the hierarchy anymore, none of us do. None of that means anything to us. We’re not betas, not really. We’re just Minhyuk and Hyungwon.” 

“Though certainly, we’re well-equipped to handle the biological necessities, for omegas, or those like them, for instance,” Hyungwon says quickly, making eye contact with Kihyun, looking at him meaningfully. Kihyun just gapes back at him, totally confused. 

“What do you mean?” Kihyun asks, anxious, his tail flicking around back and forth behind him. 

Minhyuk and Hyungwon exchange a look, full of a thousand different unspoken things, and then they both look back at Kihyun in disbelief. “You don’t know?” Minhyuk asks, lifting an eyebrow, incredulous. “We could smell it on you from a mile away, that distinct citrus scent.” 

“You’re pregnant,” Hyungwon says, and he looks at Kihyun wistfully. “And from the strength of your scent, I’d say you’ve got a big litter coming, six or seven kittens at least. The father didn’t hold back one bit.” 

Kihyun just blinks at them again, shocked. For a few seconds, he thinks that surely he must have misheard, and then, when he finally understands it, what was just said, there’s a long, long moment of silence before he can even begin to grapple with what to think, or how to respond. 

Pregnant? 

How on Earth could he possibly be _pregnant_? 

“W-what?” he asks, eyes wide, lips parted in shock, his tail flicking around behind him. He’s too shocked to feel anything else but complete disbelief and denial at first, but then, the fear starts to creep in, the worry, as he starts to fully understand, as he starts to fully realize what it actually means. 

“I don’t remember...” Kihyun starts, his voice trailing off into silence. 

But then, he remembers that he’s still missing a week from his memory, that the last thing that he remembers at all before escaping the compound is being in the mating cabin, waiting for his match. An alpha match was being sent to impregnate him, that’s what he was there for. A week went by that he can’t remember, and anything could have happened in that period of time, and if he really is pregnant now, then it means that he...that they...that he and his alpha match...they must have met...and they must have... 

Kihyun’s blood runs cold, his eyes going wide as his stomach drops in dread. There’s no way that he could be pregnant, surely there’s no way that could’ve happened, he never would’ve let it happen, not in a million years, and if for some crazy reason he did let it happen, why doesn’t he remember it? “It” meaning... 

Not being able to remember anything is terrifying, simply terrifying beyond all imagination. He feels like he’ll be sick all over again, and he wonders once more how exactly he was able to escape, why exactly he was running, and what exactly happened to him in that mating cabin. Was it possible that he was taken forcefully? Was he coerced under threat? He suddenly feels like a stranger in his own body, scared, unfamiliar, and he curls in on himself, his ears flattening, and he wants to cry, he wants to throw up, he wants the ground to swallow him and to take him away from all of this. 

“Are you sure?” Kihyun asks finally, his voice quiet. He feels like he’s being pricked with needles all over his skin, his body shaking. It doesn’t seem real, it seems like it’s happening to someone else. “I can’t remember anything, but...” 

“You are definitely pregnant,” Hyungwon says, his voice growing serious, and he’s picked up on Kihyun’s obvious terror. “Did something happen?” he asks, looking concerned, and Kihyun understands what he’s implying; he had of course been thinking along the same lines. 

Kihyun just swallows hard and thinks deeply for a moment, closing his eyes and pouring over everything, trying his best to just _remember_. It’s all hazy, not completely erased, but it’s obvious that something is being blocked, something very important, everything that had happened to him in the cabin, and he can’t remember the events themselves or any sensory details, but he thinks he can still remember _something_. Something... 

Glimmers, wisps. Tiny, swirling tendrils deep, deep, deep in his subconscious. Not memories, exactly, but _feelings_ , strong and clear if difficult to decipher, still right where they always were, connected to particular memories and events even if he can’t remember them. 

He focuses, breathes deep and slow, and tries to dig the best that he can through himself, deep inside of himself, and something comes over him, and he doesn’t remember, he still doesn’t remember, but his mind is still making associations, emotional associations, connections, coloring certain information in emotions and feelings, lingering from whatever events accompanied them in real life. And the association with his pregnancy, in his mind, even if he can’t remember how or why it happened or what else happened with it, or what the association truly means, it’s undeniably a positive one. 

No matter how he thinks of it, he’s not upset by his pregnancy. Even with the fear of not being able to remember how it happened and not being able to remember anything about the father, his mind only makes positive associations with it, hopeful ones, loving ones, not even an ounce of terror or despair to be found, and instinctually, with whatever’s left of his memories of that mysterious week that’s vanished from his mind, he knows that it’s something to be happy about, it’s something that he wanted, that he _yearned_ for. It means that it must have been consensual, Kihyun realizes. He must have wanted to mate with the father, he must have wanted these babies. He thinks. 

“I have no idea,” Kihyun says, sighing, his eyes flickering open to look again at Minhyuk and Hyungwon. The truth is, he may just be making it all up, his emotional associations something that he’s just imagining, just wishful thinking, because being pregnant with babies that he actually wanted, even if he can’t remember the alpha father, is of course, much better than the alternative. The alternative is nothing short of horrifying. 

But the harder that he thinks about it, the deeper that he goes, the stronger the association becomes, the positive one between his pregnancy and himself, and he feels some of his terror subsiding, because whatever happened, he’s fairly certain now that he wasn’t taken against his will, and that, at least, makes it a little easier to grapple with, with the fact that he’s _pregnant_ and doesn’t remember who the father is or what on Earth happened to make him change his mind about something that he had always been so sure about. 

He wonders if it’s possible that he had grown fond of the alpha matched with him in the mating cabin, wonders if it’s possible that he had wanted to mate after all, despite his initial reluctance and resistance to the idea. Maybe he had changed his mind about everything, maybe he had even been ready to live his life in the compound, live out the rest of his days the way that omegas were supposed to. But then, why would he run? Why would he try to escape the compound? And most importantly, if he was so fond of the alpha father, why would he leave him behind? 

“The last thing that I remember is waiting in the mating cabin for my match,” Kihyun murmurs, thinking out loud. “And then...somehow I was outside the walls of the compound, running for my life...” 

If he focuses, he thinks he can remember an alpha there with him when he was escaping, and he thinks he remembers being pushed out by someone else beyond the gates. Had he not wanted to leave? Is that possible? But after all of these days of starving and dehydration, after falling to the ground and going in and out of consciousness so many times, he just can’t be sure if his faint memory of a handsome alpha with a big fluffy tail and soft eyes is real, or if it’s just his mind trying to fill in the blanks, creating an image of an alpha that he might’ve grown fond of despite everything else. 

“Whatever happened, you’re definitely pregnant,” Minhyuk says, echoing Hyungwon, a bit blunt, but Kihyun can hear the underlying kindness in his voice, the kindness and something else, a strange sort of sadness that Kihyun doesn’t understand at all. “And you’re definitely going to die out here if we don’t get back to the village, long before you’re ready to give birth. Do you think that you can walk on your own?” 

Kihyun’s stomach growls loudly at that moment, as if on cue, and his head spins again from dizziness, black spots dancing in the corners of his eyes. He’s still severly dehydrated and starving, nowhere near in good health, just back from the brink of death, and his body still aches and hurts just as much as it had before Minhyuk and Hyungwon found him. If he’s being honest, right now, he can barely stand, can barely stay awake, his brain still moving slowly and still not quite fully connected with the world around him. 

He winces and he shakes his head to Minhyuk’s question, letting out a soft whine of a noise, and Minhyuk and Hyungwon share another look before they both approach to assist him, helping Kihyun to stand straight and to rest an arm around each of their shoulders, one around Hyungwon’s, one around Minhyuk’s, Kihyun in the middle, Hyungwon and Minhyuk supporting his waist with their hands on his back so that they can all walk together. It takes a few moments and quite a bit of effort, but Kihyun is grateful yet again for their kindness. 

“You almost made it to the village,” Hyungwon says as they take their first few careful, slow steps forward. “Only about two more miles from here. We’ll get there, you’ll be okay now. Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll take care of you. The village will take care of you. You’ll never have to be afraid of anything ever again.” 

Kihyun doesn’t respond, just looks off into the space ahead of them, out into the depths of the forest. If he was indeed mated, then that means that he shares a bond with the alpha father now, a bond that he should still be able to feel even if he can’t remember it, and he thinks that might explain all of the strange things that he’s been feeling since he left the compound, how every ache and pain, every stab of hunger or thirst, how it all feels twofold, like he’s sharing it with someone else. And the heartache that he feels, deep and profound, like his chest has been split in two right down the middle...he thinks he can understand it now, can understand what it means. 

He may not remember the alpha, but he’s starting to think now that the alpha surely remembers him, and the alpha must have loved him, must be torn apart by them being split up. It’s the worst feeling of all, Kihyun thinks, this absolute despair, and Kihyun wonders if he had anything to do with it, if it was his choice to run and if so, why he would leave the other behind who so obviously cared so deeply for him. Why would he have done such a thing to someone who loves him? Perhaps Kihyun didn’t love him back? Perhaps something happened between them? Kihyun can only imagine. 

“I think...I can feel him...” Kihyun says quietly, focused. His heart aches, he feels a deep and intense melancholy, despair, and he’s not sure if it’s his feelings or the alpha’s. He wonders if it’s possible that he loved his alpha too. 

No, that couldn’t be it. He would never be able to love an alpha. Even if he did consent to the mating, even if he did want the babies, there must have been some other reason, some other ulterior motive that he had had in mind. It doesn’t make it any easier to feel the alpha’s excrutiating pain, though. He sighs. 

“The bond with my alpha,” he goes on, “I can feel it. He’s not doing so well either. He’s starving, he’s in pain. I think he might be dying just as I was. He’s probably being held prisoner for execution, for letting a pregnant omega escape.” 

“Of course, the mated connection,” Minhyuk says. There’s a long moment of silence as they walk forward, the three of them all deep in thought. Minhyuk sighs next to Kihyun, his steps slowing. “Do you want it to stop?” he asks, the most serious that he’s sounded this entire time, full of empathy, concern. 

Kihyun’s ears twitch, his tail flicking behind him again. The question makes him feel uneasy, like a sudden chill on the back of his neck. “What?” he asks, still looking straight ahead as they continue forward. 

“You’re not the first mated omega to run away from the compound, to wind up pregnant and terrified wandering in the forest alone,” Minhyuk goes on. “Not all omegas want to remember the alphas, or to share the bond with them, especially if the bond was not a happy one, or if the alpha dies. They say one half of a mated pair dying is the worst feeling that there is, and that it never goes away.” 

“We can cut the connection,” Hyungwon adds. “Or, not cut it, not exactly, but block it off. A form of suppressants, so you won’t feel the bond’s effects. You won’t feel your mate anymore.” 

Kihyun considers it for a moment, and again feels uneasy. Something about it just seems... _wrong_. 

They all stop for a moment, and Minhyuk withdraws his hand from Kihyun’s back to dig through his satchel, quickly retrieving a small package of pills, very similar to the basic omega suppressants that Kihyun had been taking for many years. He takes one out and holds it between his thumb and index finger, a tiny, innocent looking tablet, and he turns to Kihyun before offering it out in his palm. 

“You’ll have to take it once a day,” Minhyuk says. “But it’ll help you.” 

“And it goes both ways,” Hyungwon says. “This is going to cut off the connection on the other side too. If your mate has been feeling you this whole time through your bond, he won’t anymore. Just like that, the connection will be lost.” 

“He might think you’ve died,” Minhyuk says quietly. 

Kihyun frowns, staring down at the pill in Minhyuk’s palm, his vision going a little unfocused as he thinks. Minhyuk seems to sense the tension, Kihyun’s hesitation, and he lets out a little chuckle to soften the mood, and somehow, it does make Kihyun feel a little bit better. Minhyuk is much more attuned to Kihyun’s feelings, much more adept at making him feel comfortable than Kihyun had originally thought, it seems. 

“Makes me glad that we don’t have to deal with this kind of thing,” Minhyuk says. “I love Hyungwon, but I’m not so sure that I want to feel every single thing that he feels.” 

“Hey,” Hyungwon pipes up from the other side of Kihyun, in mock-offense, but he’s chuckling, and Kihyun can feel the warmth shared between them. It makes him feel warm, too, and then cold, like he’s missing something that should be with him, something that should give him his own personal kind of warmth. 

“Your energy levels are just...I swear, sometimes, I just want to give you a good electric shock,” Minhyuk says. “Like jumpstarting a car or a heart that’s stopped beating. Get your battery going. I swear it must be broken or something, drains much too fast." 

“I don’t much want your excess energy,” Hyungwon replies, half-laughing. “Especially at night when I’m trying to sleep and you’re sprawled all over me babbling nonsense into my ear at the speed of light.” 

“Please, your life would be meaningless without me,” Minhyuk says, smirking, and Hyungwon gives him a playful pat on the shoulder in response, shaking his head incredulously but smiling bright. 

The two dissolve into bickering on either side of Kihyun, affectionate and silly, and Kihyun smiles, because it’s sweet to witness. He’s never actually seen a couple like this in real life, a couple that’s actually in love. Only in the stories. He had never known for sure whether this kind of thing even existed. 

Kihyun is overcome with sadness again as he stares at the ground, thinking about his own mate, the father of his babies whom he can’t remember a single thing about. There must have been something strong between them for Kihyun to be willing and wanting to mate, if that’s indeed what had happened. He wonders what kind of relationship that they had, if it’s possible that Kihyun had felt affection for him, if perhaps Kihyun had made a terrible mistake in leaving him behind, if perhaps Kihyun hadn’t wanted to leave him behind at all. 

And he wonders now if cutting their bond off entirely is the right thing to do to his mysterious alpha mate that he might have cared for. Will he be sad to think that Kihyun might have died? How will he react on the other end of their connection? On the other hand, is it right for the alpha to feel his pain doubled just as Kihyun feels his when he might barely be holding on to his life? 

Kihyun doesn’t know what to think at all; there’s just way too much that he doesn’t know, too much that can only be left up to guesses and gut feelings and maybes or maybe nots, and although his instincts tell him not to do it, something deep down inside of him _begging_ him not to do it, he’s desperate to ease the pain that he’s been feeling, to heal, because the truth of the matter is, the alpha is suffering far more than Kihyun is, and Kihyun doesn’t even know him. 

And yes, Kihyun feels like it’s not the right thing to do, knows that it’s _wrong_ , that it might be the most terribly wrong decision that he’s ever made, but he just can’t think straight like this, he can’t go on like this. He’s broken and hurting and he needs time to recover, to collect himself before he can think about helping someone else, about helping a stranger. 

He won’t cut it off for long, not for more than a few days. Just for a little while, just until he’s himself again. Yes. That’s what he tells himself as he takes the pill from Minhyuk and pops it into his mouth, swallowing the suppressant as Minhyuk and Hyungwon fall to silence and watch him. 

It goes down easily, and as Minhyuk slips Kihyun’s arm back around his shoulder and they begin to walk again, Kihyun starts to feel better, slowly, gradually, minute by minute and step by step, and he realizes then just how much he was actually carrying, how heavy his mate’s pain and distress was. 

Even now, he understands the importance of it, of mates having the connection, helping each other, staying together through thick and thin and sharing each other’s burdens. That’s what the purpose of the connection is, and Kihyun can’t help but feel like he’s done something terrible by severing that connection. Still, he needs to look out for himself right now, just how he always has. There certainly isn’t anyone else looking out for him at the moment, only these two kind betas. 

And so, he walks slowly through the forest with Hyungwon and Minhyuk, the silly but kind beta couple who help Kihyun to feel better little by little, the forest itself beginning to look less and less scary, beginning to lighten up and to open up the closer that they get to the village, as if it’s opening its arms in welcome, not quite a big, beautiful world, but maybe something close to the new beginning that Kihyun had been searching for. Minhyuk and Hyungwon tell Kihyun all about the village as they go, and Kihyun starts to feel something like anticipation, but it’s overshadowed by something else, something far less pleasant and far more intense. 

And he can’t help but feel like he shouldn’t be going forward at all, but going back, going back to what he left behind.


	9. Chapter 9

At first when he opens his eyes, all that he can see is darkness. 

It makes his stomach drop, his heart race, his blood run cold, his eyes go wide in panic, until he realizes that the very fact that he can even see anything, even in darkness, must mean that everything is alright. He’s still _able_ to see, after all, and able to have the physical reaction of his stomach dropping and his blood running cold and his eyes going wide, and that means that he’s alive and well, or, at the very least, alive. “Well” is still to be determined. 

He sighs, closing his eyes and taking a few slow, deep breaths, waiting for his heart to steady, waiting for his fear to settle. It feels strange, all of this. It’s unremarkable, and yet, it feels so unlike anything that he’s ever felt, to be here, to be feeling all of these things. Perfectly ordinary, but under these circumstances, incredible. He wishes he had the time to appreciate just what a miracle it is. 

It takes a long moment, and an immense amount of effort, perfect focus, perfect concentration, extraordinary willpower, but he’s able to open his eyes again, and he’s able to move his body, little by little. He’s able to sit up, slowly, carefully, his limbs unfamiliar and strange, even just moving them in such simple ways an incredibly difficult task, each signal from his mind to his body requiring all of his energy and determination, but he does it, he manages to sit up, and it’s then that he realizes that he’s in a bed, on a soft mattress and old bedframe that creaks loudly even beneath his diminutive weight. 

The covers slide down off of his body to rest in his lap, and he carefully lifts his head to get a look around the room, his hands moving on his thighs to lightly grip the edge of the covers. Soft, clean, warm. It’s the middle of the night, that much is clear, and he’s in a dark room, a bedroom, only small slivers of moonlight coming in from splits in the curtains covering the window. His feline eyes adjust the longer that he looks around, granting him clearer and clearer vision by the moment, and he blinks, his head still feeling full and fuzzy as he takes everything in. 

Sleeping. He was sleeping. Deeply, peacefully. He wonders if he was dreaming, and if so, what he was dreaming of. 

He slowly looks around the room, at the floor, at the walls, at the door. It’s nearly empty, and it’s very simple, just the bed that he’s lying on and a closet, a dresser, a mirror, a night table. It’s nice. It’s small, but it’s warm and cozy. It’s silent, but not the oppressive kind of silence that suggest lack of life, but the peaceful kind, the restful kind. Everyone around him is sleeping, deep and content in slumber. There’s just the lull, that particular feeling in the air. The hush. 

He sighs softly, relieved. It’s safe, it’s quiet. He feels good, his body feeling loose and relaxed, no pain, no aches, no trauma, nothing except a bit of soreness from sleeping so deeply. He’s well-fed and washed. His breathing is clear and strong, his heartbeat steady, his whiskers picking up every tiny shift in the air. He breathes for a few minutes, admires the room in silence, taking the time to make sure that it’s really real, that he’s really and truly safe. His instincts confirm it, don’t sense any danger nearby, no threats, nothing to be afraid of, only a soft, gentle world. 

His eyes feel heavy. He’s starting to lose a hold on his mind, quickly succumbing back to sleep. He won’t be able to stay awake much longer. And his skin tingles; he’s wearing a sleeveless shirt and underwear only, goosebumps rising on his bare arms exposed to the cool breeze coming in from the outside. The window is open, he realizes. His body craves the warmth of the blanket, craves to snuggle back to sleep. 

He feels good. 

He smiles a tiny little smile, relieved, happy, so happy, and he lies back slowly onto the bed, his head cradled on the soft pillow, and he looks up at the ceiling as he pulls the covers back up over his chest. He moves to lie on his side after a moment, curling even further under the blankets just the way that he knows that he likes it, allowing his eyes to shut as he breathes deeply, once, twice, allowing his body to fall back into a deep, deep sleep. 

And within moments, he fades away. 

\---------- 

The months that Kihyun spends in the village go by very quickly. 

It’s strange, how time can move so fast or so slow depending on one’s environment and circumstances, how one’s perception of everything can change so drastically until it’s like they’re living an entirely different life. Kihyun can’t help but to remember how time had always seemed so slow, dreary, drudging on at the compound, each day a long, dull bore, longer than the last, each day the same as the one before it with no end in sight. 

But here in the village, it’s like he blinks, it’s like he takes a breath, and suddenly, he’s been living here for three months, six months, nine months. Soon, it’s like his entire life before he came here, his entire life at the compound where he lived for twenty-five years, is just some hazy, distant memory, like a bad dream that he’s long forgotten about, far away in the past, unable to affect the present, almost like it never even happened at all. It’s almost like time is moving too quickly, and he’s unable to process it all the way that he should after everything that’s happened. 

And it only increases, the feeling of forgetting his past, of leaving it all behind has he fully settles into his new life, this much gentler, much more pleasant, peaceful, and happy life. Even on his worst days he’s always well-fed and well-rested, he’s always safe, he always has people looking out for him, a community that genuinely cares about him and takes good care of him, a community that he’s all too happy to be a party of, a community where everyone helps each other, where everyone cares about everyone else. There are no struggles for dominance, no power plays, no slavery or abuse to be found here, none of the terrible things that Kihyun had long grown accustomed to at the compound. Here, everyone works together, and everyone lives together in harmony. 

He’s especially happy to have the time to rest and to recover from his past hardships in preparation for the birth of his babies. The village even has doctors, and their resources and medicine are not particularly advanced (nothing is in the wake of the great war, the destruction of human civilization, of course), but they are well-versed in the basic necessities, kind and intelligent and good at their jobs, and they help Kihyun with everything that he needs over the next nine months to ensure his health and the health of his babies. And now, the babies are due at any day, any moment, ready to be born safe and happy and healthy into a community that will take good care of them the way that it’s taken such good care of their mother. 

Even beyond all of that, being here in the village, it’s also the first time in his entire life that Kihyun has felt like he truly belongs somewhere, like he’s accepted and appreciated, not as a tool or as property or as a womb the way omegas were always treated in the compound, but respected as a person, with all of his hopes and dreams, his thoughts, his ideas, his character, his own unique and individual self. Here, he’s not just a hybrid, not just an omega. Here, he is finally known and loved as Kihyun. 

And he wants to say that he feels fulfilled here, entirely satisfied, but the truth is, even with how wonderful his life has become, even with how good the village has been to him and how much his situation has drastically improved in such a short time, he can’t shake the feeling that this still isn’t where he’s meant to be, not entirely, anyway. Something is missing. He’s not supposed to be here, alone and pregnant, not forever. He’s meant for something more than this. 

But even so, he can’t deny the immense contentment he feels waking up still in the village every day, the relief that he feels when he opens his eyes every morning that it wasn’t all just a dream, and it’s enough for now, enough to keep him happy following his entire life of uncertainty and pain. He’s grateful to the village and everyone in it from the bottom of his heart, for taking him and others like him into its arms all of these years, for making such a wonderful sanctuary for the abused and neglected to call home. 

The village may look similar to the compound on the surface, also a collection of simple wooden cabins, simple tools and utilities, only the basic necessities available in a world still rebuilding itself from global catastrophe, a small, quiet community living simple lives. But in every other way, it couldn’t possibly be more different, is the compound’s completely opposite in nearly every conceivable manner. 

If Kihyun could think of a way to describe it in just one word, he would say that everything here is just... _kinder_. 

Kihyun is given his own bedroom, his own real space for the first time in his life, a cozy little corner all his own in a small cabin that he shares with a few other feline hybrids, Minhyuk and Hyungwon included, who share their own bigger room for just the two of them. And Kihyun’s room is so nice, so much nicer than the omega quarters back at the compound. He’s got a bed and a closet of his own, his own window, dresser, mirror, and a night table where he can keep books at night. It’s simple, but he loves so much to have a private place to himself, where he can be alone with his thoughts, or do whatever he likes in privacy without fear or worry. 

And having others living just across the hallway is nice, too, if he’s feeling lonely and wants companionship. Minhyuk and Hyungwon always have a fun game to play, or an interesting topic of conversation going for Kihyun or their other cabinmates to join right in, even late into the night. Kihyun enjoys it a lot, and sometimes when he’s lying in bed, hearing the murmurs or laughter of the others in the cabin, he feels even more wonderful, knowing that everyone around him is happy and safe, a reminder that he’s not alone, never alone. Not anymore. 

The village doesn’t have as many occupants living in it as the compound, just a few hundred, and they all share mealtimes together in a great big dining hall, as well as split up chores and other tasks among all of the villagers, everyone pitching in when it’s their turn to cook or clean, or contribute in other ways that they can such as medical care or construction skills. It’s all fair and reasonable, an honorable system of give and take. 

Kihyun had never thought it possible that he could fit into a community like this, didn’t even know that a community could _be_ like this. It’s so different from anything that he’s ever known, and yet it makes more sense than anything he’s ever known. 

The thing is, everyone here has a place, not because they were born a certain way, but because it’s a place that they’ve chosen, a place where they can be happy and help to make everyone else happy, too. It’s only about a week following his arrival to the village that Kihyun finds his own place, becomes a true member of the community beyond just being a rescued omega, becomes a true villager. 

Kihyun’s place is the village library. 

The village library is small, quite a bit smaller than the compound’s library had been, but it’s well-stocked with many different kinds of books, and Kihyun often wonders how they got there, knowing that the elders had brought the books into the compound originally, and that surely, there must be some interesting tales behind the origins of the village’s books. The library is much more diverse in its contents and subject matter than the compound’s had been, too, including those that would’ve been forbidden or redacted in the compound, like the complete histories, books on science and practical knowledge and the like, things that Kihyun had once had to put himself in great danger just to be able to read. 

The village hasn’t had a librarian in several decades, and the library has gone into disarray and disorder from lack of use and maintenance, and so Kihyun is sure to spend those first weeks just organizing it, cleaning up, getting the library back into shape. And little by little, as he rejuvenates and restores the library back to its former glory, he’s thrilled that he’s no longer the only one interested in using it. 

After an entire lifetime of being all alone in his curiosity, in his thirst for knowledge and meaning, of being the only one that he could share his curiosity with, with nobody else ever interested (or even able to read in the case of the other omegas at the compound), now, lots of hybrids visit the library to borrow books, to talk with Kihyun and to take his recommendations, and Kihyun takes great pride and pleasure in helping them. It’s an amazing feeling, to be needed and wanted, and for something that he’s actually proud of and passionate about. 

And so, he spends his quiet, peaceful days working in the library, and he spends his evenings relaxing or hanging out with Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and his other new friends in the village, a list that’s growing fast because everyone is so kind. It’s almost like a dream, or like a story that he might have read long ago. 

A happy ending, that’s what it feels like. The happily ever after at the end of a long and perilous journey. 

Despite the awful condition that Kihyun had been in when Minhyuk and Hyungwon had found him, he’s soon back to full health in just a matter of days, a little less than a week, and he feels great every day after, eating plenty to help his babies grow healthy and strong, growing a bit chubby himself, better fed than he ever was at the compound, his belly growing soft and his cheeks and thighs growing full and his skin taking on a warm, healthy glow. 

He’s able to bathe every day as long as he wants to in his own washroom, and he enjoys plenty of fresh air and sunshine even as a librarian, often displaying books in the windows and greeting visitors, often leaving the library front door open entirely for anyone to enter and to enjoy some lemonade or biscuits that Kihyun had made himself. It’s only after living in the village for a few weeks that Kihyun truly begins to realize just how malnourished and mistreated he was at the compound. Mated omegas were taken good care of, true, but for all of the wrong reasons. 

The seasons change, day after day pleasant and uneventful in the best of ways, and Kihyun’s belly starts to grow large and round as his kittens grow inside of him. Soon, he needs all new clothes and has to start taking special medicines, and he even decides to hire an assistant in the library to help him with the more physically demanding tasks like restocking and organizing the shelves and cleaning up, and he recruits a young canine hybrid, a puppy named Jooheon. He’s a bit of a wily rascal, full of mischief, but he’s very helpful and kind and a huge help to Kihyun as he increasingly needs to stay off of his feet. 

But even with as wonderful as his life is now, even with everything that he’s been so graciously given and how content he is, Kihyun still often finds himself drifting, still often finds himself going back to his life before all of this. The compound, the mating cabin, the mysterious father of his kittens. 

The more time that goes by, the more distant it all seems, the more sinister, too, like some strange remnants of a nightmare, and it seems less like something that had actually happened to him and more like just a story that he’s read, sad and terrifying but fictional, unable to hurt him. But the thing is, no matter what, he’s still connected to his past, it’s still connected to him, and he’s never able to fully move on no matter how hard he tries. There’s just always this little part of him, speaking to him way in the back of his mind, deep down at the bottom of his subconscious a voice, a whisper. 

And even though he had thought to stop taking the suppressants when he had first been given them, even now, months and months later, he still takes them every day, can’t even remember what it was like to have the connection with his alpha mate anymore. He keeps telling himself that he’ll stop soon, but before he knows it, so many months have gone by, and he’s forgotten all about why he was even hesitant to take them in the first place. 

And besides, he’s afraid now, more than ever, to stop taking the suppressants, because the father was probably executed weeks ago, he’s probably already long dead, and Kihyun is scared of what Minhyuk had mentioned, the feeling that he’d have to experience if his mate was killed. He certainly doesn’t want to have to go through that for someone he doesn’t even remember, and especially while he has his babies on the way; he wants to stay healthy and happy for their sake more than his own. 

And so, he does all that he can do and simply tries not to think about it too much, though he still aches occasionally, still feels something deep within him that wants to know, that wants to find him, the alpha father. But most of the time, it’s easy enough to just swallow his suppressants and move on with his day, and it soon becomes second nature, routine, each day a little easier, especially when he’s got so much else on his mind. 

He’s still worried about his strange condition, his amnesia, still blocking out parts of his memory and even now still affecting him. Every once in a while, every few weeks or so, the amnesia will come back, and he can never explain it. There are moments when he’s in the middle of doing something and he seems to disconnect for a few moments, always just moments, as if he blinks and suddenly a minute or two have gone by. He wonders if it’s a side-effect of the suppressants, or if it’s a side-effect of his pregnancy, or if it’s something else entirely. He even asks the village doctors about it, but they don’t have an answer either, and they tell Kihyun to keep an eye on it and to keep them updated. 

But nothing really changes much as the months go by, and overall, it’s easy to adjust to his new life in the village. As Kihyun’s due date gets closer and closer, he begins to forget all of his troubles entirely as he becomes increasingly excited at the prospect of his kittens finally being born, of finally having his own little family to care for. He can’t say it’s something that he’s always wanted, but now that it’s actually happening, he finds himself so happy about it, and so happy that his kittens will never know the hardship that he knew, that they will get to grow up and live their lives in such a wonderful place. 

Minhyuk and Hyungwon had confessed to him that they had always wanted kittens of their own, but because they were both betas, they couldn’t do it naturally. Kihyun had assured them that they would be the kittens beloved uncles, since Kihyun would surely need help in handling however many kittens his litter turns out to be, because Hyungwon was right, it’s a big litter, and Kihyun doesn’t know much about parenting, if anything at all, though the past few weeks he had tried to read everything he could find in the library about the subject. 

Today, however, he’s reading about out-of-body experiences, mostly just wild stories and speculation, but it’s fascinating and fun, nonetheless, and the library is quiet today, not as busy as usual, hasn’t had a single visitor, now that he thinks about, since it started pouring rain outside several hours ago. Personally, Kihyun thinks that days like today are the best for reading, with the sound of rain tapping on the windows and low rumbles of thunder in the distance from the oncoming storm, but he understands that others might not want to make the trek through the downpour just to get here. 

And the rain is indeed heavy outside, strong and loud like little bullets, accompanied by sharp flashes of lighting. The winds are getting heavier and stronger, too, shaking the walls of the wooden cabins, and Kihyun wonders for not the first time that day if it wouldn’t be best to close up early, to go home to wait out the worst of the storm with his cabin mates. 

He’s lost in thought, his mind going through the closing procedures and thinking about what they might do to pass the time tonight, when suddenly, he’s struck by an excruciating, stabbing pain low on his abdomen, so intense and so sudden that it has him dropping the book that he was reading to the floor and doubling over in his chair, his forehead and the back of his neck immediately soaking in sweat as he squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a loud yell. 

Jooheon, who had been busy on the other side of the library, hears Kihyun’s yell and quickly rushes over, and he takes one look at Kihyun and instantly understands what’s happening. Calm and collected though obviously frantic, Jooheon helps Kihyun to his feet and drapes one of Kihyun’s arms over his shoulder to help to support his weight, then helps Kihyun step by step across the room and out the door of the library, the two of them heading straight for the medical cabin without a moment’s hesitation. 

The kittens are coming, about to be born in the midst of a terrible storm. 

The rain is coming down hard, so hard that they’re both drenched and soaked within seconds as if they had fallen into a river and sunk completely underwater, but Jooheon stays calm and helps Kihyun to make his way across the village, the ground muddy and slick, sticky and sludgy beneath them, the sky black but lit up every few moments with flashes of lightening and the deep, rumbling booms of thunder. 

And at some point while they’re moving, Kihyun feels his water break, spilling thick fluid all down his thighs and the backs of his legs, mixing with the increasingly heavy rain coming down in buckets now, but they keep going, carefully and calmly as they can to ensure that Kihyun and the babies aren’t hurt, taking it one step at a time even when Kihyun is in so much pain that it’s starting to overwhelm everything else, even when Kihyun starts to moan and to cry from it. 

They finally make it to the medical cabin after a few more minutes of struggling through the rain, and it’s lower staffed today than usual because of the storm, but thankfully, there’s a doctor, an alpha canine hybrid, around right at the entrance who, upon seeing Kihyun, immediately drops everything else to tend to him, rushing to his side and helping him into a separate, enclosed room and onto a bed, shouting orders at her subordinates to prepare for the labor and the delivery of Kihyun’s kittens. Kihyun tells Jooheon to find Minhyuk and Hyungwon, his voice weak and shaky, and the beta rushes off right away, leaving Kihyun in the hands of the village medical team. 

From there, Kihyun again starts to lose focus and perception about what’s going on around him from the pain overwhelming his senses, fizzling out to every nerve, every cell, clamping tight around him sharp and hot and unbreakable. 

He had read before that childbirth is painful, especially for male omegas like himself whose bodies have had to go through drastic changes inside to accommodate pregnancy, but this is even worse than he had ever imagined. It’s indescribable, and every second seems worse than the last, and Kihyun doesn’t know how much of it he can really take, if it’s really possible that he’ll survive this. He wonders how anyone could possibly survive this much pain. 

Nurses scurry around him all over the place, adjusting his limbs on the bed (he’s gone completely pliant, doesn’t have the strength to move when he’s paralyzed like this) gathering materials, water, towels, getting everything ready and into position, and Kihyun can only lie back still and limp, his eyes squeezed shut as he continues moaning in agony, as the attending nurses start removing his clothes, covering him with a blanket to protect some of his modesty while they prepare for the delivery. 

He soon breaks out once more into a heavy sweat as his whole body contracts with pain, rushing him with awful heat, sharp and prickly, and the storm outside continues to shake the ground and the walls of the medical cabin from the howling winds, but the nurses work diligently, one of them placing ice wrapped in a towel on Kihyun’s forehead in an attempt to cool him down. Kihyun can only wonder now how long this will last, it’s the only thing that he can think about, because he remembers reading that omega labor can last for days. 

He knows that there were once medicines that doctors could use to dull the pain, to make it bearable, but he also knows that those medicines aren’t around anymore thanks to the state of the world, as if the clock was turned back hundreds of years in the wake of the great war, and now, they can only make use of very basic things, basic remedies and techniques, and so Kihyun has no choice but to feel the full effect of the labor and the birth of his kittens. 

It’s alright though. As awful as it is, he knew that it would be. It’s not like he wasn’t expecting this, not like he wasn’t ready for it, knowing full well the price that he’d have to pay just to bring his babies into the world. But it’s still excruciating, like his body is ripping itself open, and more than anything else, he worries that he won’t make it to see his kittens take their first breaths, to let out their first little mewls and cries. 

He breathes shallow and fast, heavy and loud, his eyes squeezed shut and his lips pursed in pain, and one of the nurses brings over damp cloths to pat on his face and neck, his skin so hot that he swears he can hear a sizzle, and he’s flooding the whole cabin, probably the whole damn village with his pheromones, his birthing omega scent, but he focuses on breathing, as deeply as he can, one of the nurses helping to guide him through it, and he can feel other nurses lifting the blanket covering his naked body to get a look at what’s going on down low, to see if he’s ready yet to deliver. 

And nothing much happens for a while after that, or rather, things continue on the same for Kihyun doesn’t know how long, minutes, hours, but the pain continues, grows worse and grows tighter, and he can’t distinguish what anyone is saying either to him or to anyone around him, only hears commands and frantic movements, the clink of metal medical tools and steaming hot water being poured into buckets and brought into the room, his own heart pounding like a drumbeat in his ears, the storm howling outside. He keeps fighting, for the sake of his kittens, wanting to just make it through this, to be able to be there for them in their first moments of life. 

He wonders for a moment, for just one moment, what the father is doing, or if he has any idea whatsoever that their kittens are about to be born. 

But then, a fresh wave of pain rolls through him, worse than anything he’s ever imagined, the most intense, like flames ripping into his flesh from the inside out, and he screams, loud and broken, tears spilling down his cheeks as his lower body contracts, and he feels blood starting to gush out between his legs and to drip down his thighs, lots of it, and it’s time now, the babies are coming _now_. 

The nurses around him are working hard, lifting his legs, moving them around carefully to try to make the delivery a little easier, but Kihyun can only feel the tearing pain, can only hear murmurs of the instructions that they’re giving to each other that he doesn’t understand, and he moans in agony, throwing his head back and sobbing, his body tight and tense and hot like it’s on fire and about to burst, blood coating the insides of his thighs and between his legs. His head is fuzzy, unable to focus on anything but the white-hot searing pain. 

He hears commotion outside, too, and the sounds of nurses running in and out of the room and yelling at each other, yelling out orders, and suddenly, his room has gone quiet, most of the nurses having left except for two, and one of them comes over and continues with a fresh damp cloth to try to soothe Kihyun’s pain, guiding him through his breathing again as his body contracts, Kihyun doing his best to follow the nurse’s instructions while the other one who had stayed behind is in between his legs and ready with buckets of water and a large basket to deliver the babies. Kihyun can’t bring himself to wonder why everyone suddenly left his room for more than a second or two. 

The commotion outside doesn’t stop, though, and only gets louder, and he can hear nurses and doctors arguing down the hall, the sounds of so many voices, and so many scents mingling together, and the nurse tending to him seems to read Kihyun’s mind without Kihyun saying a thing, only wincing at all the noise when the door to his delivery room is slammed shut with a loud bang, the commotion outside muffled and distant like it’s happening underwater. 

“We’ve got a bit of a situation,” the nurse says, her voice gentle. “But don’t worry, my colleague and I are right here just for you. You’re going to have a healthy delivery and we’ll take care of you.” 

Kihyun’s mind takes way too long to process what the nurse is saying to him, and he nods weakly, understanding that by her colleague she means the nurse helping him down between his legs, and so he closes his eyes and leans back on the pillow again, whimpering through a fresh wave of pain, starting to wheeze because the pain has coiled and constricted itself so tight and deep within him that it’s hard to breathe, as if it’s etched itself inside of him, as if it’s become a part of his very being. 

There’s a sharp stab right at his belly button and he screams again, the nurse by his side murmuring to him in a comforting voice and bringing a fresh cloth to his forehead, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, and Kihyun squeezes back as tears roll down his hot cheeks, and the guided breathing helps somewhat as the contractions of his lower body get more intense and closer together in time, soon one coming every minute or so. 

It goes on like that for a while again, two of the nurses down between his legs, adjusting him occasionally, wiping him down with hot and cold water, the nurse by his side stilling holding his hand and doing her best to keep him cool, helping him to breathe and to slowly work through each tremor of pain, so intense now coming in waves and waves that Kihyun doesn’t even have the energy to scream anymore, and he just heaves in agony, until one of the nurses exclaims, her voice sounding distant like it’s a thousand miles away, “The first one is coming! You need to push!” 

And Kihyun tries to push, but when he does, he’s suddenly overwhelmed by such sharp, stabbing, tearing pain all over that all he finally does scream again, he _has_ to scream, loud and long, and he can feel blood gushing out all down his thighs and legs, dripping thick onto the bed and the floor, and his body feels like it’s being crushed beneath a thousand tons and clamped between the jaws of some great, terrifying beast. Tears spill down Kihyun’s cheeks again, and his body goes strangely numb below, like he’s caught in an electric current. 

There’s a scramble down between his legs and he hears one of the nurses murmur, panicked, “Something’s wrong...” 

The nurses start chattering to each other frantically and Kihyun can’t make out what they’re saying, can only lie back and moan and cry as the pain consumes him, and he finds himself thinking only one thought, one wish stronger than anything else. 

_Please let them live._

He thinks again of the father, the alpha whom he might’ve been in love with. He wonders what will happen to the kittens if they make it and Kihyun doesn’t, because he can tell by the sound of the nurses’ voices, the hushed tones and frantic whispering that things are not looking good at all for Kihyun. 

Suddenly, the door flies open loudly and Kihyun groans from the sudden noise, opening his eyes about halfway from instinct, as much as he can manage as one of the nurses bolts upright from between his legs, and the other nurse beside him lets go of his hand and immediately moves to stand guard at the foot of the bed. The room is suddenly flooded with a scent that Kihyun somehow finds familiar, and even though he immediately knows what it is, it doesn’t scare him the way that it should. Instead, it makes him feel...safe. 

It’s the scent of an alpha. It’s the scent of vanilla. 

An alpha has barged into the room uninvited, the first alpha feline that Kihyun has even seen since he left the compound. The alpha is big, muscular and handsome, with blonde furry ears and a big fluffy tail, completely soaked from the rain and water droplets clinging to his pale skin, his messy hair, his torn clothes. 

He’s breathing heavily, his chest heaving, filling the room with alpha pheromones, frantic and fearful but determined, strong, _powerful_ , and he’s wounded all over, covered in scrapes and cuts up and down his arms and his neck, some of them bleeding profusely, his whole body covered in blood and dirt, scratches bleeding across his face and his chest and his arms, his thin, tattered shirt soiled filthy with grime and all ripped up in big swatches exposing large strips of skin like he had been through one hell of a fight, like he had gone through hell itself to get here. 

The alpha is breathing so hard that he’s panting, his hands curled up into fists at his sides, large veins jumping out in his forearms and his neck, but as soon as he lays eyes on Kihyun, he softens immediately, letting out an audible sigh of relief, his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes growing wet with tears as he smiles bright. 

“Kihyun...” he breathes out, even as the nurses quickly step between him and Kihyun in defense. They are feline hybrids too, after all, both of them betas, and their tails and ears are raised in alert, fluffed up big in a natural response to a threat. 

Kihyun can barely see what’s happening through his blurry vision, but he feels something strange come over him, and for a moment, it’s almost like he doesn’t feel any pain at all. He looks at the alpha, and the alpha looks at him, and they lock eyes and stare at each other, and Kihyun suddenly understands, he suddenly _knows_ who this alpha is. 

It’s the father of his kittens. His _mate_. 

And Kihyun doesn’t remember his name or anything else about him, but the feeling that he has upon locking eyes with the alpha, the emotions that flood through him as he breathes in the alpha’s scent and his eyes flutter, there’s the relief, the joy, the fondness, of a connection so powerful, so absolute that not time nor distance nor suppressants could ever sever it. 

He can’t deny that this is someone he loved. 

And Kihyun tries to speak, to say something, anything, but his voice is too weak, and all he can do is whimper as the nurses try to fight back the alpha while he tries to push past them to get to Kihyun. 

“His life and the babies’ lives are in danger. You need to leave,” one of the nurses says, voice firm, but the alpha just moves past them and makes his way to Kihyun, the nurse immediately yelling out for security while the other tugs at the alpha’s arm to try to hold him back before giving up and rushing out to the hallway to find backup. 

And the alpha, his eyes don’t leave Kihyun’s for even a moment as he drops to his knees at Kihyun’s side, immediately taking one of Kihyun’s hands dangling off the side of the bed limply in between his own, his eyes shining and gaze full of affection. Kihyun stares back at him, mouth hanging open, breathing heavily, drench in sweat and bleeding, his body contracting again as they stare into each other’s eyes. 

Kihyun feels...at peace. Relieved. The alpha is so handsome, his presence such a comfort, and the way that he looks at Kihyun, it’s undeniable, too, that the alpha loved him. The alpha _loves_ him, came all this way through God knows what just to be by his side. 

They stare at each other, breathing heavily in silence for a long time, Kihyun’s eyes fluttering weakly as he tries to focus. He finally manages a hushed breath, his voice terribly soft and weak. 

“A-are...” Kihyun starts, and the alpha squeezes his hand, tears spilling down his cheeks. “...are you...?” 

The alpha looks deep into his eyes, stroking his hand and nodding slowly, letting out a relieved chuckle as fresh tears roll down his cheeks. Kihyun’s eyes drift all over the scratches on the alpha’s face, all over the cuts on the alpha’s prominent muscles on his arms and his torso, the burns, the grime, the blood. So much blood. Kihyun’s heart aches, squeezes in his chest. He can only imagine where the alpha came from and what happened to him along the way. 

The alpha lets out a sigh, swallows hard and lets out a sob as he looks tenderly at Kihyun. He’s still crying, and for some reason, Kihyun starts crying again too. Only this time, it’s not from the pain, and as the room floods with medical security, alpha wolf hybrids, even bigger and stronger than his mate, Kihyun feels something oddly familiar wash over him, the feeling of alpha pull. He knows that he’s never actually experienced alpha pull and yet, he swears that he’s felt this exact feeling before. 

“Kihyun...” the alpha starts, his voice low and deep as he squeezes Kihyun’s hand over and over again. “It’s me. I’m here. You have to r—” 

But before he can finish, he’s ripped away from Kihyun by the wolf hybrids, and he fights back with all of his strength as Kihyun yells and reaches for him without thinking, then immediately doubles over in agony and squeezes his eyes shut at the pain that rips through him sharp and brutal at the sudden movement, temporarily blinding him as he screams so loud it’s like the whole room shakes. 

Meanwhile, Kihyun’s mate, the father of his babies, is putting up a tremendous fight against not one, not two, but six wolf hybrids attempting to drag him out of the room and shouting in his face, and Kihyun’s nurses scurry back to Kihyun’s bed, yelling that Kihyun is dying and that they need to deliver the kittens right now or they’ll die too. 

Kihyun’s consciousness is fading fast, and he lies back on the bed and moans, it’s all he can do soaked in his own blood pooling beneath him on the bed, the nurses pushing between his legs and yelling, the alpha still fighting to get to him and sobbing as he yells, and it all becomes too much to handle, Kihyun closing his eyes and going breathless, sighing out one last whimper of a breath, his whole body going numb and the world closing in around him, his ears starting to ring and his chest constricting tight. 

He doesn’t know what will happen to the babies, or to the alpha father, but he knows that he’s dying, and his last thought is sudden and strange but clear as day, though he doesn’t understand where it comes from or why he’s thinking it. 

His last thought is that he never got the chance to sing.


	10. Chapter 10

It’s been five years since Hoseok arrived at the village. 

Five years since that fateful day when, after making such a long journey, after everything that had happened, after fighting through hell and nearly dying so many times along the way, Hoseok had made it just in time to be there by Kihyun’s side for the birth of their kittens. 

Five years since... 

Hoseok’s mind drifts off, his thoughts going silent in his head as he stares out at the horizon. He’s leaning up against the back gate of the village, his arms crossed and resting right on top of the fence, not oppressively tall as the compound’s had been, only high up to Hoseok’s chest, and he’s staring out at the sunrise, at the world beyond the village, the vast forest, the endless sky, everything that’s been waiting patiently for him this entire time while he was living his life peacefully behind these gates. 

It’s early in the morning, very early indeed, and it’s calm today, the wind warm and gentle as it rustles in the leaves. Hoseok breathes in the scent of the forest, of the leaves, the faintest whisper of flowers somewhere far away from here. He always enjoys waking early in the village. It’s always so peaceful, so quiet in the mornings, the perfect time to just exist and think of nothing at all, to just wake up slowly with the earth itself. There are no birds on this side of the forest either, and so the mornings are silent as always, but Hoseok knows that they’re out there somewhere, waiting to greet him, waiting to sing. 

And today, this morning in particular, is an important one, a morning that Hoseok’s been planning for almost a year now, and yet, like every other morning, right now, it’s perfectly ordinary. 

Perfectly ordinary and, after so many years of danger, trauma, heartache, and grief, it’s perfectly quiet. 

\---------- 

_On the day that Kihyun escapes the compound, and just moments after Hoseok had used his alpha pull to make Kihyun forget all about him so that he’d be able to run forward to freedom without looking back, Hoseok is captured by the compound guards._

_Well, the truth of it is, he lets himself be captured. He had given up fighting entirely once Kihyun had made it safely past the gates. There was no reason to try to fight off the guards or the mob of alphas, who soon became much too involved in fighting with each other to pay any more attention to Hoseok. And so, Hoseok had surrendered himself right away without a fight, though he couldn’t help but to remind himself that he would have won any fight if he had to, if he had to do it for Kihyun. But now that Kihyun was out of harm’s way, there was nothing left for Hoseok to fight for, and so no reason to resort to force or violence._

_From there, he’s taken down to the compound prison deep, deep underground, along with the very same pack of rogue alphas who had been after him and Kihyun, the vicious hybrids finally apprehended by dozens of compound guards. Thankfully, they’re all separated into different cell blocks, and Hoseok supposes he gets the privilege of a smaller, quieter block because he surrendered and cooperated, unlike the other alphas who had been willing to fight to the death to avoid capture, and some of which who certainly had died in the fighting killed by the compound guards or by each other when the situation had started to spiral far out of anyone’s control._

_He’s not sure what will happen to any of them, not even sure what’s going to happen to himself, since it seems that the guards think that he’s one of them, one of the rogue pack of alphas. He doubts that any of them, including himself, will be executed if that’s the case; they would never kill this many strong, viable alphas, and it seems that they haven’t yet realized that Hoseok was the one that they were after and, according to the laws of the compound, should’ve been executed for allowing a mated omega to escape. Hoseok supposes that, in that way, one good thing came out of all that had happened, besides Kihyun escaping, of course. Thanks to the chaos of the alpha mob, Hoseok seems to have escaped his own certain death as well._

_In any case, Hoseok suspects that they will all be stuck here in prison for an indefinite period to await some other kind of punishment, and to be clear, the punishment would be for disturbing the peace and for fighting the guards, not for threatening to forcefully take a mated omega from another alpha, not for trying to kill one of their own. That kind of behavior is rewarded in the compound, after all._

_And those first few days underground in the prison are difficult, to say the least. Hoseok had figured as much, had known what to expect, but it’s difficult, nonetheless. He’s relieved knowing that Kihyun has escaped this place entirely, that Kihyun has a chance to make it out there for the both of them, and he can still feel Kihyun through their connection, there to reassure him even in his worst moments that at the very least, Kihyun is still out there living and breathing._

_In some ways though, his connection with Kihyun adds to his fears too, because he can feel it as Kihyun’s condition worsens every day, as he obviously starves and grows exhausted out in the wilderness, suffering and struggling to survive out there all alone, and it’s horrifying, as if he’s feeling it as Kihyun slowly dies and there’s nothing that he can do to stop it._

_It makes him feel powerless, and he knows he’s only making it worse with his own steadily worsening condition added on top of it, making things all the more difficult for Kihyun. They’re both adding on to each other’s suffering, and in turn, making each other’s suffering worse back and forth in a vicious cycle. This is why mates are meant to be together, to protect each other and to care for each other, and why when they’re apart like this, it’s even more terrible for the both of them._

_And the thing of it is, Hoseok wishes that there was some way that he could sever the connection between them, if only to make it easier for Kihyun, to give him a better chance to survive. Hoseok knows that there isn’t much hope left for himself, but he doesn’t need it, not now. All he hopes and wishes for with all his heart is for Kihyun to make it, and if that means cutting their connection entirely, if that means dying here alone with Kihyun still unable to remember him and any chance of undoing the alpha pull dying with him, then so be it. He’d gladly make that sacrifice if he could, he’d do it in a heartbeat._

_Instead, Hoseok can’t do much of anything except sit there and pray, hope with everything that he has to feel Kihyun keep going, his strong, brave little omega, his beloved mate, Hoseok giving Kihyun all of the strength that he possibly can through their connection, every tiny bit that he can muster in this condition, every day just hoping that Kihyun will finally find safety out there in the world, and that hopefully, there is indeed safety out there left to find._

_It’s all that Hoseok can do to stay sane, that, and planning all day every day, as he regains his strength, wondering if there’s some way that he can escape from here and make it to Kihyun, but every scenario seems like a suicide mission when he runs it through in his mind. Though Hoseok is certainly willing to try anything, he won’t put himself in that kind of danger until he knows for certain that Kihyun is safe, for the sake of preventing whatever horror would inflict on Kihyun through their mated connection if Hoseok were to die. Hoseok doesn’t know what happens to the mated connection when one mate dies, but he imagines it can’t be pleasant._

_Hoseok’s situation only grows increasingly difficult as the days go on. Hoseok is given food and water but not much else, and barely enough to help him to regain his strength or to even just survive. The hours and hours spent underground with no fresh air or sunlight are taking a toll, too, the cell block dusty and humid and dirty at all hours of the day, and Hoseok wonders how long they’ll keep him down here, or if they’ll ever let him go at all. Maybe this is the punishment, a particularly cruel form of execution, being trapped down here until the day that he dies._

_All he knows is that he won’t be able to escape, won’t stand any chance of getting to Kihyun if he doesn’t get any stronger, and his own exhaustion is putting Kihyun in jeopardy too. Wherever he is now, Hoseok can feel Kihyun growing weaker and weaker almost by the moment, can feel the pain that he’s in but also, how he keeps going despite it all, keeps moving forward step by step._

_Kihyun is hurt, and Hoseok is here unable to help him. It makes his heart ache so terribly that Hoseok wishes for nothing more than one great rush of adrenaline, one great burst of herculean strength so that he can break out of here, kill everyone in his path if he has to, and run, and not stop running until he finds Kihyun and can take him into his arms again. He could do it, he knows he could. Sometimes, he really feels like he_ must _do it, like he_ needs _to do it. He certainly would do it, if not for the futility of even attempting it, and as much as it pains him, he knows that to give Kihyun the best chance, he can’t let himself be foolishly hurt or killed._

_Hoseok will bide his time, he will wait for the right opportunity, and he swears that he will do what he can to make it to Kihyun only when the time is right and when Kihyun is safe, when Kihyun won’t be in grave danger even if Hoseok makes a mess of it and dies in the process. It hurts Hoseok so much though, to just sit here, doing nothing, because Hoseok misses Kihyun with all his heart, just wants to be by his side and care for him, protect him, make him happy. He wants what they had, he wants what they could have together in freedom, he wants to give everything to Kihyun, and he can’t do it from the inside of this cell, nor can he do it if he’s dead. And therein lies the dilemma, the constant back and forth that circles round and round in Hoseok’s head all day and all night._

_There are other prisoners in Hoseok’s cell block, just two others, but Hoseok never speaks to them. They all just sit there in silence, wrapped up in their own thoughts, in their own unique, terrible isolation. Hoseok supposes that it’s fitting, feeling so alone down here, being so alone even with other people around you. Hoseok doesn’t feel like the others are even real sometimes, just figments of his imagination, shadows and murmurs, his guilt and his fears manifested into physical beings._

_One of the other prisoners is a canine hybrid, a puppy who smells like an omega. He’s right across from Hoseok’s cell, but they never even glance in each other’s direction, not when the other is looking, anyway. Even so, Hoseok often wonders how he got here. He’s never seen a canine hybrid before, didn’t even know that there were any still alive. There’s a lot that he doesn’t know about the world, he supposes, and so much that he hopes that Kihyun can learn and experience for the both of them if Hoseok doesn’t ever make it outside again._

_Next to the canine hybrid and across from Hoseok is another alpha feline just like Hoseok, but unlike any other alpha feline that Hoseok has ever seen. He looks intimidating, tall with deep tan skin and big muscles. He’s clearly strong and powerful just as Hoseok himself is, but he doesn’t give off any kind of intimidating scent or pheromones, or much of a scent at all. In fact, he’s very quiet, stays completely to himself curled up in a corner of his cell._

_Hoseok has never seen him before anywhere, as a matter of fact. He wasn’t part of the alpha quarters where Hoseok grew up, must have lived in one of the others. From the looks of it, he’s been down here for a long time, maybe years, even, and Hoseok wonders what he could’ve possibly done to be down here and imprisoned, since alphas who fail in their mating duties are usually executed immediately, while those who simply cause problems receive other punishments but are never here for more than a few months. Besides, this alpha doesn’t smell mated, and nothing about him seems inherently dangerous to Hoseok’s instincts._

_The rest of the cell block is empty, without even a guard stationed down here, and because the three of them are so quiet, they can always hear clearly what's going on in the other cell blocks on the other sides of the walls, where members of the alpha mob and other dangerous criminals are being kept. They can sometimes hear the most horrible things happening, screaming and fights, and they can all smell it in the air, the pheromones, the blood. They can feel the shake and the tremble of violence, and Hoseok is again thankful of being given the small mercy of being separated, because even he with all of his strength wouldn’t be able to fight them all off at the same time if they were all cramped together into one tiny cell block._

_The first week is uneventful but creeps up on Hoseok like a slow-moving death, and Hoseok is unable to sleep very much, unable to focus on anything else but constantly monitoring Kihyun’s safety, every second a desperate question, a desperate hope, every second wondering when Kihyun will find sanctuary. He spends long hours just sitting there up against the wall of his cell, filthy, dehydrated, starving, exhausted, unmoving, just staring off into empty space and feeling the connection with Kihyun for anything, any sign of relief on Kihyun’s end._

_And it’s to Hoseok’s horror, that shortly after that first week passes, Hoseok suddenly loses his connection to Kihyun entirely._

_At first, he doesn’t even quite realize it, because Kihyun’s side of the connection had become so weak, so feeble, barely anything at all, and Hoseok’s own ability to feel it had become weak in turn. But it’s just there one moment, undeniable, and then, it suddenly flickers out like a wisp of light, and then, there’s nothing, Hoseok doesn’t feel anything at all._

_And it takes Hoseok a few long moments to realize that it’s not him, it’s not his own life slipping away from him, it’s Kihyun’s, and his blood runs cold like ice when he realizes that he can no longer feel him._

_Hoseok just sits there, still and silent, hoping it’s just a fluke. Surely, Kihyun is still there, just very weak, and if Hoseok focuses, if Hoseok can just focus enough, he’ll feel him. And Hoseok tries, closes his eyes and curls his fists where he sits up against the cell wall, and he tries as hard as he can, but there’s nothing. There’s just...nothing._

_And Hoseok doesn’t want to believe it. He can’t believe it, he just can’t. He won’t accept it. And so he just spends hours and hours sitting there, focused, using everything in him just to feel_ something. _There must be something else going on here, anything else, he refuses to accept any other possibility. He can’t bear the thought alone of what every bit of logic is trying to tell him, and so he denies it with his entire being. He certainly doesn’t let himself think about how he should have made it out to protect Kihyun, or that he should’ve convinced Kihyun that they should’ve stayed here. That they could have lived._

_He can’t even entertain the notion that Kihyun is...that Kihyun could be..._

_Hoseok chokes down a sob, his eyes suddenly welled up with tears that roll down his grime-stained cheeks. He entertains another notion, suddenly, one that is a lot easier for him to accept, because he knows that he won’t be able to go on living with himself if what he thinks happened is true. He knows that the one way that he’s certain to see Kihyun again if the unthinkable happened is if..._

_Hoseok curls in further on himself, starting to tremble as the reality starts to hit him, even as he fights it with everything he has. The physical pain that he starts to feel is indescribable, his heart shattering slowly inside of him, piece by piece, crushed, and Hoseok feels numb, sits there silently with tears streaming down his cheeks as he bites into his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. He sits there, paralyzed, still clinging on to one bit of hope that somehow, some way, it’s not true, it can’t be true._

_Hoseok knows that he’s a few days away from dying himself, and even to that moment, he knows that he won’t be able to accept it, because from the moment that he does, that will be the moment that he truly does die. And so, he keeps trying to scramble, for some other explanation, some other answer, but even as he does so, as the hours go on and he still feels nothing from Kihyun, he starts to choke on his own grief, unable to breathe from it as it constricts tight around his chest and throat, as he sits there still as stone and suddenly freezing cold, shivering._

_Eventually, he tells himself that if he doesn’t feel something in the next few hours, he’s going to do it, that he’s going to use whatever he can to...do what needs to be done. And in making that decision, he feels more resolve than he’s felt since he got down here. Whatever it takes, he’ll be with Kihyun again._

_Across the way, the canine hybrid must notice his distress, because out of nowhere, and after so many days of total silence, he finally speaks to Hoseok for the first time, in a slow, surprisingly deep voice._

_“It’s your mate, right?” the canine hybrid asks, not looking up from the spot he’s staring at on the ground. “You don’t feel the connection anymore?”_

_And Hoseok is not a violent person by any means, has never been despite his strength and the fact that he could easily overpower anyone else if he really wanted to, but in that moment, he’s filled with such hot, unbridled rage that he feels like he wants to rip open the bars of this cell with his bare hands, pull them right out of the wall and rip this canine hybrid to pieces, tear his head right off of his shoulders for even suggesting that he understands what Hoseok feels, what Hoseok has done._

_Hoseok curls forward in a rush of anger to contain himself, his chest heaving, growling involuntarily, his tail and his ears puffing up as he gives off alpha pheromones that he knows must smell like pure rage and fury, something like blackened smoke, but the canine hybrid barely flinches. Instead, he stands up from the spot that he’s been sitting in for days, and after he’s brushed off some of the dirt (futile since the air itself seems to be made of dust and dirt down here) he moves closer, right up against the bars of his cell to talk to Hoseok face-to-face._

_“If your mate was dead, trust me, you would know it,” the canine says, voice still low as if he’s afraid of being heard, but there’s no one else around to hear them. “The pain you feel now...it would be so much worse. Unimaginably worse.”_

_Hoseok growls low from his chest, from deep inside of him, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks as he curls his fists, his blunt nails digging painfully hard into his palms. His anger only grows more intense; how dare this canine hybrid make Hoseok have to acknowledge what he knows to be true, and even worse, how dare he try to give him false hope. Who does he think he is, taunting Hoseok like this? Is he trying to provoke him?_

_Hoseok grits his teeth, wondering what would happen to him if he really did break these cell bars and murder his fellow prisoner, just to release this agony, this guilt. Just to feel something, anything other than the grief threatening to rip him apart from the inside out._

_“If your mate was dead, the pain would kill you,” the canine goes on. “Mates who lose their other half never live long, especially in weakened condition. If you’re still alive even now, it means that your mate is too.”_

_Hoseok doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t soften or cool down much either. There’s a long moment of silence before he looks up and finally makes eye contact with the canine hybrid, who does flinch a bit at the look in Hoseok’s eyes, but it’s not from fear. Hoseok’s eyes are heartbroken, soaked with tears and devastated._

_“I’m from a place...a village,” the canine hybrid says, his voice going noticeably softer like he’s talking to a wild animal. Hoseok supposes that he’s certainly devolved to that state, if his natural biological reactions are any indication. “It’s not far from here, about a week’s journey. If your mate has made it there, they may have given him suppressants to cut your connection, to save his life.”_

_Hoseok doesn’t say anything as he takes in the canine’s words and thinks hard. He’s unsure if he should trust this canine hybrid, that what he’s saying is true, unsure if he should even dare to hope. He wants to believe it, that it’s possible, anything but the thought that still refuses to form fully in his mind, even if his body and his emotions have already begun reacting._

_“I was a scout,” the canine hybrid continues. “I was out in the woods near here, spying for the village. We’ve been trying to liberate this place for centuries, but all of our scouts have never been able to return with good information helpful beyond what we can get from the runaways we take in. Usually, our captured scouts are killed by the elders here, but I was captured and taken alive. I had made it all the way past the gates and deep into the compound before I was discovered.”_

_Hoseok looks away, stares down at a spot on the ground. He wants to believe what this hybrid is telling him, but it sounds crazy, if he’s being honest. It sounds like a pipe dream, or like a trick._

_“They keep me here so that I won’t tell anyone in the compound about the village, since they wouldn’t be able to stop me with their alpha pull. Feline alpha pull doesn’t work on me,” the canine hybrid goes on. “I’m not sure why they haven’t killed me like the others, but I suspect that they may be interested in using me as a hostage, or that they may be planning an attack on the village and will torture me for information when the time comes, but I’ll gladly die before telling them anything.”_

_Hoseok still doesn’t respond, but there’s a few minutes of silence between them as the canine hybrid lets Hoseok process everything that he’s just told him. Hoseok wonders if he really is telling the truth after all, and if so, is it really possible that the village that he came from was able to find Kihyun out there in the forest? Will they keep him safe? What if it’s just another place like this, and some other alpha will hurt Kihyun, or worse?_

_Again, Hoseok hates himself, feels a fresh rush of bitter shame and despair for not making it out with him, to protect him. But would Hoseok have been able to protect Kihyun from whatever lies beyond the walls of the compound? He still wonders if the best thing wouldn’t have been to just stay here, if maybe they had made a huge mistake trying to escape and instead, should’ve done what they could to live decent lives here in safety._

_“My village is a safe place,” the canine hybrid says, as if reading Hoseok’s mind. His voice softens, and he gives Hoseok a small smile, a small attempt at comfort. “There are many runaways that have been taken in over the years. From here, from other bad places. They use suppressants to cut the connection between mates, either because it’s hurting them, or because they don’t want it anymore, they don’t want the attachment to their old life, to a dark past. Not everyone is lucky enough to be paired with a mate that they chose, a mate that they love, as I’m sure you’re aware.”_

_Hoseok looks at the canine hybrid again, starting to soften himself. Hoseok’s instincts tell him that this canine, this_ puppy _, because he really is very young now that Hoseok gets a good look at him, doesn’t have malicious intentions, and Hoseok still doesn’t know exactly what to think about it, but he gives the canine a small nod to show that he’s listening._

_“Like I said, our village isn’t far,” the canine hybrid goes on. “It’s very possible that your mate made it. Actually, it’s the only thing that would explain him still being alive, because there’s nothing else for miles and miles and miles. We’ve never found anything else, and we’ve been searching as long as the village has been around. It’s a miracle, truly, those who have made it to us from other places, made the journey from communities that we’ve never even heard of. There’s a whole world out there that we still don’t know anything about. Your world doesn’t have to end here, behind these walls, without your mate by your side.”_

_There’s another long pause between them, and Hoseok swallows heavily, feeling a fresh rush of tears coming on. The mix of emotions that he’s gone through in such a short time is intense, and he wants so bad to believe it, that Kihyun is safe in this special village, but it’s hard to take the words of a stranger as truth, when strangers in Hoseok’s experience have never been a good thing, have never been kind or interested in anything decent. It’s hard to trust anyone, really, when one has led the kind of life that Hoseok has._

_Hoseok closes his eyes again for a moment, tears rolling down his cheeks, and he doesn’t even bother to try to hide them or wipe them away. He sucks in a breath and finally speaks, letting out a bitter chuckle. “How can I know that you’re telling the truth?” he asks, his throat sore and his voice hoarse. “How can I know for sure?”_

_“You can’t,” the hybrid says, sighing. “You can only take my word for it. Or, well...there may be another way.”_

_At that, Hoseok opens his eyes to look at the canine hybrid again. “What way?” he asks, Hoseok’s eyes wet and rimmed with red._

_“You may be able to know for sure about your mate,” the canine continues, his voice going quiet again. “You might be able to know for sure that he’s alright. I know a way that you can see him.”_

\---------- 

Back in the present, Hoseok still waits at the fence. 

He faces the rising sun, breathing in the gentle, sweet-smelling air in slow, deep breaths, letting each one fill his chest smooth and slow and steady, looking far out into the distance at the trees. This back gate to the village lies on the opposite side of the gate where Hoseok had arrived, the gate at the end of the long path through the forest starting from the still-standing walls of the compound. This is the side that faces the unknown. 

He’s never ventured beyond these gates, has never left the village at all since he arrived here five years ago. After everything that he went through to get here, after everything that Kihyun had gone through to get here, it always seemed preposterous, insane to even think about leaving. But even so, he had always found himself still thinking about all that could be out there, all that’s left to see, all that he and Kihyun had planned long ago to see together back when they were still in that mating cabin where they met and fell in love. 

There’s the compound, and now the village, and Hoseok knows from his time here talking to other runaways that there’s even more, other communities, other survivors, an entire world that’s slowly rebuilding and reconnecting, and Hoseok often wonders how it’ll all play out this time, what humanity will do with its second chance. Will it make a world better than the one that came before it, or worse? Will it all end again in war, is the downfall of humanity at its own hand inevitable, or can they learn from their mistakes? 

These were the kinds of questions that Kihyun had always talked about. 

It’s at that moment when Hoseok is deep in thought, thinking of Kihyun, of the way Kihyun’s eyes would light up whenever he would talk about his big dreams for the two of them, the way that they would sparkle when he talked about them seeing the world together, the way everything that Kihyun did made Hoseok fall deeper and deeper in love with him, when he hears a soft rustle behind him, the sound of soft footsteps. 

A familiar scent drifts through the air, light and gentle like a whisper. Hoseok’s ears perk up, his whiskers twitching in delight as he smiles softly, his tail swishing at the scent of strawberries, perfectly ripe. 

He turns around just in time to see a young girl making her way towards him, a small feline hybrid in a bright yellow dress like spun sunshine attempting to sneak up on Hoseok and pouting when she sees that she’s been caught. Her tail swishes behind her and she furrows her eyebrows adorably before breaking out into a huge smile and rushing forward. She’s got dark, chocolate-brown fur on her feline ears and tail, just like her mother. Just like Kihyun. 

Bomi is Kihyun and Hoseok’s daughter, their beautiful, precious daughter. Born in the midst of a terrible storm, born a beta, not that biological rank matters here, of course. She had been born on a terrible night, but had been so beautiful, such a joy from the moment that she opened her eyes, that the name choice had come naturally, like the first beautiful, delicate blossom at springtime. 

Bomi herself is not delicate at all though, not in the least. She’s strong, incredibly strong, despite the fact that she had nearly died in birth. She’s strong and healthy, full of energy, bright and full of passion, sometimes a little bit too much, if Hoseok’s being honest. She’s always been feisty, a handful to keep up with, but she’s a survivor, a fighter, just like her parents. 

Hoseok’s heart warms and he smiles wide and bright upon seeing his daughter running towards him, Hoseok letting out a soft chuckle as he crouches down to her height, opening his arms for her to rush into his embrace, and she coos happily as he wraps his arms around her in a warm, snuggly hug, both of them purring softly for a few moments and Bomi squeezing her father gently and nuzzling her face into his chest. 

They separate after a few moments, and Bomi’s still got her arms draped over Hoseok’s shoulders, looking up at him happy and cheerful with her big eyes, so much like Kihyun’s. Exactly like Kihyun’s. Hoseok’s heart beats hard as he laughs again softly and reaches to pinch her cheek, his heart soaring. 

“What are you doing awake so early?” he murmurs, smiling at Bomi with fondness. 

Bomi looks away shyly, her gaze slipping down to the ground as she kicks at some dirt with her foot. “I wanted to make sure that I could say goodbye before you left,” she admits, her voice soft. 

“Do you really think that leaving without saying goodbye would ever be an option?” Hoseok asks, frowning with exaggerated, mock offense. He pinches Bomi’s cheek again and grins, and she laughs wildly when he reaches down to tickle her belly. “Silly goose,” he murmurs as she squirms and laughs, playfully hitting at Hoseok’s arms as he tickles her. 

“I’m not a goose!” she exclaims, shrieking with laughter, her cheeks pink with excitement, and Hoseok smiles, stops tickling her to brush a loose strand of hair out of her face before he scoops her up into his arms and stands in one great motion, Bomi immediately curling towards Hoseok’s chest and resting her head on his shoulder, her arms curled up in front of her as she sticks her thumb into her mouth, her feline ears twitching in curiosity as Hoseok walks back over to the fence, Bomi wrapping her arms around Hoseok’s shoulders, hugging him around his neck after a moment, clinging onto him and squirming in Hoseok’s arms. 

“You may not be a goose, but I’m starting to think that you’re a little monkey,” Hoseok says, and Bomi laughs again, squealing and curling in closer to Hoseok’s chest, the two of them both falling silent as Hoseok brings her to the fence and they look out together at the forest. Bomi’s voice takes on a peculiar tone then, thoughtful beyond her years. 

“How long will you be gone?” Bomi asks, and Hoseok coos to her gently, rubbing his hand over her back in comfort as they both stare out into the trees. 

“It will only be for a year,” Hoseok says. “It’ll go by fast. A year will be over before you know it.” 

“A year!” Bomi exclaims, frowning. “That’s a fifth of my life!” 

Hoseok chuckles at her sharpness. She’s really just like Kihyun. “It may seem like a long time to you right now,” Hoseok says, “but as you get older, the years go faster. To me, it seems like only yesterday that you were born, but you’re already such a big girl. Soon, you’re going to be running this place, am I right?” 

“I want to be a queen, or a president!” Bomi shouts, excited. 

“You’d be a wonderful queen, or president,” Hoseok says, laughing. “But no matter what, I know you’ll do wonderful things, you’ll be an amazing person some day when you’re all grown up.” 

Bomi is quiet for a moment then as she ponders Hoseok’s words, and Hoseok can see the gears turning in her head as she thinks. She looks back up at Hoseok after a moment, her eyes wide. “Can I come with you?” she asks. 

Hoseok lets out a chuckle, because she really is just like her mother, an adventurous spirit, wanting to see the world, rebellious, searching for meaning and wonder even at such a young age. Hoseok is so proud of her. He truly loves her with all his heart. 

“Not this time, sweetie,” Hoseok says. “We still don’t know what’s out there, and it could be dangerous. But someday, maybe. I hope we can all see it together someday.” 

Bomi pouts and Hoseok laughs again before Bomi buries her face back in his chest, unwinding her arms from around Hoseok’s shoulders and curling in on herself again, her thumb going back in her mouth adorably. 

“I love you Daddy,” Bomi murmurs, and Hoseok feels like he wants to cry from how cute it is, his heart melting as he holds her close and reaches to pet her hair, pinching one of her cute kitten ears. 

“I love you too, sweetie,” he says. “I know you’ll be a good girl and behave. You’re going to do well at all of your school lessons and do all of your chores, right?” 

“I hate chores,” Bomi whines, and Hoseok smiles again. It seems that he can never stop smiling when it comes to her, when it comes to how much she takes after both of her parents. “But I like school. I’ll do well, I promise.” 

“That’s a good girl,” Hoseok says, his voice going soft, and they look out into the forest again together in silence, Bomi starting to fall asleep in Hoseok’s arms despite her boundless energy just moments ago. Within a few minutes, she’s out like a light and snoring gently with her thumb still hanging out of her mouth. 

The sun is almost fully risen now, casting golden light all over everything like a thick, warm blanket, the sky beginning to shine its bright, vibrant blue. 

A gorgeous spring day, the perfect day for the start of a new journey.


	11. Chapter 11

_As the canine hybrid across from Hoseok’s cell tells him about the way he knows of that Hoseok can see Kihyun again, describes in detail the process and what will result (or what should result, in theory), Hoseok immediately begins to think that this puppy can’t be trusted after all. Not because of any malicious intentions, no, but because he’s obviously insane, because what he’s telling Hoseok is surely impossible._

_“I swear I’m not lying to you, and I’m not crazy,” the canine hybrid says, as if reading Hoseok’s mind yet again, and Hoseok has to admit that even if this puppy is insane, Hoseok is certainly impressed by his ability to read others._

_“But it’s extremely difficult,” the canine hybrid goes on. “I’ve never actually seen it done myself, though I’ve witnessed many attempts of it back at my village. It’s a process that comes from ancient knowledge, from when hybrids first evolved from humans, a way to communicate with separated loved ones through the bond of a mated pair.”_

_Hoseok gives the canine hybrid a sad smile. “If it’s so difficult,” Hoseok asks, “why would I be the one who’s able to do it?”_

_The truth is, whatever little spark of hope that Hoseok had been feeling just now is completely defeated. Hoseok doesn’t think that he’s anything special, after all, and from what he’s hearing, it just sounds like another dead end to him, another long shot certain to end in failure._

_“It takes an exceptionally strong bond,” the canine hybrid says. “It takes a true, loving bond between mates for it to work, a bond that’s extraordinarily powerful, a bond that’s pure and absolute.”_

_He gives Hoseok a gentle look, then, and looks down at the floor for a moment. “Only mates can do it for each other,” he says, “and it goes both ways, but because your mate doesn’t remember you, he won’t be able to do it, at least, not unless his memory returns. It takes full effort and intent, a strong desire to achieve it, so it will have to be you.”_

_The canine hybrid then lets out a sigh before looking up again, and right into Hoseok’s eyes. “If you want it badly enough,” he says, “you should be able to tap into your connection with him. And I think you do want it badly enough. I think it’s the only thing that you want, am I right?”_

_“No matter how badly that I may want it,” Hoseok replies bitterly, “I won’t be able to do it.” Hoseok closes his eyes as they grow wet with tears once more, tears of frustration and exasperation and heartache, the heavy blow of grasping onto a wisp of hope only for it to vanish through his fingers._

_“Kihyun has cut our connection,” Hoseok goes on. “There’s nothing there for me to tap into anymore.”_

_At that, the canine hybrid chuckles softly, and Hoseok opens his eyes, taken aback. “You really think that suppressants could ever truly cut the connection?” the canine hybrid asks, incredulous. “You really think that humanity could ever do anything to truly stop a force of nature?”_

_The canine hybrid chuckles again. “All that the suppressants can do is block your mate from feeling your connection and its effects, the same way that the suppressants that you take here in the compound stop you from feeling the effects of your rut or stop an omega from feeling the effects of his heat. The suppressants just dull the symptoms; they don’t erase the underlying cause.”_

_The canine hybrid pauses again, and Hoseok looks at him with furrowed brows, wanting so much to believe what he’s saying, but unsure, still so unsure if it’s worth it to get his hopes up now, after everything that’s happened, after all of the disappointment, after all of the mistakes, after all of the regrets._

_“Like I said, none of us can stop nature,” the canine hybrid says. “The connection between you and your mate...it’s still there, and it’s as strong as ever.”_

_He smiles again, and Hoseok’s heart skips a beat as he takes in everything that the canine hybrid is telling him. “If you two really love each other,” the canine hybrid continues, “you’ll always be able to tap into your connection, no matter what’s obscuring it, no matter what kind of suppressant either of you is on, no matter if one of you has forgotten everything. As long as the two of you are both alive and breathing, the connection will always be there.”_

_Hoseok is suddenly washed in his own guilt, then, for what he did to Kihyun. He knew then and he knows now that it was wrong, that it was ethically and morally wrong, but he had done it out of desperation, and in the heat of the moment, when he was so desperate for Kihyun to be able to escape to safety, it had seemed to be the only way, the only way to guarantee that Kihyun wouldn’t come back for him._

_He knows that he can’t change the past, can’t change what he’s done, but he vows that he’ll remove the alpha pull the moment that he and Kihyun reunite, if they ever reunite, and that he’ll never use it on him again, and that he’ll spend the rest of his life repenting for it, for the awful thing that he did, awful even if it was for a good reason. Kihyun deserves that much and more, deserves everything that Hoseok could possibly give to him._

_“He’s got your claim mark, doesn’t he?” the canine hybrid suddenly asks, interrupting Hoseok’s thoughts. “That mark is not just to ward off other alphas. The mark helps to focus your connection, almost like a beacon, and through it, that bond between the two of you, it transcends everything else, transcends God and man and certainly any limitations that we try to put on it.”_

_Hoseok looks at the canine hybrid in silence for a long moment. His heart aches as he pictures Kihyun’s beautiful face in his mind, because it’s true, it’s all true. He loves Kihyun more than anyone else, more than anything else, more than himself, and it certainly feels like their bond is that kind of special, that when they were together, it was magic that eclipsed everything else in the universe. But doesn’t everyone feel that way when they're in love? Why would Hoseok’s feelings be so special, and is he not just another infatuated idiot who thinks that love is enough to defeat the cruelties of the world?_

_But if there really is a way for Hoseok to see Kihyun, if there really is even this small chance to know for certain that Kihyun is alright, if their connection has indeed survived everything that’s happened, then by all means, Hoseok will give it a try, no matter how futile it may seem. It’s better than sitting here doing nothing but wallowing in grief, and all Hoseok wants is to see Kihyun again, to be able to rest knowing that he’s safe and cared for even if Hoseok can’t be there with him._

_Hoseok lets out a small laugh of disbelief that’s half a sob as he stares right into the canine hybrid’s eyes, searching for any sign of trickery or ulterior motive, Hoseok’s own eyes wet with tears. “What do I have to do?” Hoseok asks, his voice low and rough, one single tear rolling down his cheek, but his voice is steady now, unwavering in his determination._

_The canine hybrid smiles at him again, gentle and genuine, and explains to Hoseok exactly how it’s all done._

_It takes a long time, hours and hours for the two of them to practice, most of the day, in fact, as they lose track of time, but eventually, after dozens and dozens of unsuccessful attempts, Hoseok is finally able to do it._

_By focusing with all of his strength and willpower, by breathing deeply and steadily and clearing his mind of everything but Kihyun’s face, by using nature’s energy, nature’s channel, by using everything in him to tap into their bond, to reach out through the distance between them and hold onto it so tight that he may never be able to let go, Hoseok is finally able to achieve what he had thought was impossible, what the canine hybrid himself has never seen done before._

_Hoseok closes his eyes one moment, and in the next, he’s opened his eyes in an entirely different place, somewhere that he’s never been before and somewhere that he doesn’t recognize._

_Even the air smells so different and feels so different on his skin, and he knows full well that his body is still back underground in the compound prison, still exhausted and filthy slumped on the dirty ground up against the cell bars, his throat sore and his limbs aching from sitting in the same position for so long so intensely focused. And even though Hoseok can still feel his physical body like some phantom force way deep down in his subconscious, his mind, his full consciousness...they’re now somewhere else entirely._

_His mind is now in Kihyun’s body, and the eyes that he’s just opened, the eyes that he’s looking through are Kihyun’s eyes._

_And it’s immensely difficult to hold it even for a few short moments. Once he realizes that it’s actually worked, it takes every ounce of Hoseok’s willpower, as if he’s in a dream that he’s just become aware of and is now struggling not to wake up from. And Hoseok is so overwhelmed by it at first, that he’s actually done it, that he blinks, and he’s snapped back into his own body back at compound in a heavy rush._

_Back in his own body, he sits there in shock for a moment, his eyes gone wide, and then, he’s suddenly weeping, from joy, from surprise, from disbelief all at once, fat, heavy tears rolling down his face as he sobs, his chest heaving as he stares stupefied at empty space, at nothing._

_He just can’t believe that it actually worked, and even if he only had a few moments, it must mean that...Kihyun must be alive, otherwise, there would have been nothing at all for him to see._

_And Hoseok certainly didn’t see much, hadn’t been there long enough to actually take anything in, but he knows that he did_ see, _that he was able to see if only for an instant. He wasn’t here, he was somewhere else far away, and what he saw was what Kihyun was seeing._

_Hoseok can’t contain himself, and he smiles wide and bright even as tears continue to roll down his cheeks. He’s shaking uncontrollably and laughing from relief, his eyebrows furrowed, unable to concentrate even though all he wants more than anything else is another moment to see through Kihyun’s eyes._

_The canine hybrid across the cell block is staring at him in silence with wide eyes, excited and curious seeing that Hoseok had been successful if only for an instant, and he makes a noise low in his throat that Hoseok understands to mean, “Try again. You can do it. You just did it.”_

_Hoseok takes a few more deep, steady breaths, closing his eyes again and concentrating, focusing only on Kihyun, on Kihyun’s face, on Kihyun’s eyes, on Kihyun’s scent that he still always tastes on his tongue and that still fills his heart to the brim even now. He thinks only of Kihyun, not of himself, not of his own feelings, only Kihyun, on reaching their connection, on reaching out to touch it and to hold it, and he’s trembling, but it’s after several more minutes of silence that Hoseok is able to do it again, in his own body one moment, in Kihyun’s body, hundreds of miles away in the next._

_Hoseok opens his eyes, or rather, Kihyun’s eyes, and it takes a while for him to even be able to do anything, to have enough control to do anything other than to simply look, but soon, he’s able to look out and around, and with each moment that passes, so does his relief and happiness grow._

_Kihyun is alive and safe, that much is certain. Hoseok can see it clearly now through Kihyun’s eyes, and he can feel it, too, in the rest of Kihyun’s body. Kihyun is doing well, on a soft bed and in good health, in a quiet, clean room, well-rested, well-fed. He was just now sleeping soundly without so much as a care in the world._

_And if that weren’t enough to soothe and heal Hoseok’s troubled heart, Kihyun is doing even more than just well. Hoseok can feel it in more than just the few moments that he spends in Kihyun’s body. He can feel it through instinct, through their connection, through his own consciousness mixing with Kihyun’s inside of Kihyun’s head. Hoseok just knows it, knows it without even knowing how or why he knows it._

_Kihyun is_ pregnant.

_And Hoseok doesn’t know what to think or to feel in that moment, too much emotion overwhelming him at once, so much swirling around in his heart that he can’t even begin to untangle it. All he knows is that he’s so relieved, so happy, that he doesn’t know what to do with himself, can feel his hands tingling and his heart rushing with pure, unbridled joy back in his own body, flooding through his veins as he fully takes it in, processes everything that he’s just learned._

_It’s such a wonderful thing, to have achieved such a miracle, and after so many days of feeling so awful, of fearing for the future and the unknown, of being constantly tormented by dark, terrible thoughts, to suddenly have so much good news, and all at once, that Kihyun is okay, that Kihyun is safe and healthy and pregnant, it’s like a rush of sweetness too intense to bear, like he’s falling into a sea of stars, and Hoseok knows that he can’t hold the connection much longer like this, feels it slipping away as joy washes over him, and he feels like laughing, feels like crying, but all Hoseok can do in this body now is blink, and then, he’s back in the filthy, cramped jail cell at the compound prison. His face is soaked in tears and he’s shaking, his cheeks red and a pleasant warmth rushed down to his fingertips and toes._

_The canine hybrid is still staring at him with wide eyes across the cell block, with concern and fear etched over his face. “What happened?” he asks Hoseok, his voice quiet, hesitant, as if he thinks that he’s made a terrible mistake and that Hoseok saw something awful. Instead, Hoseok thinks that he saw the most beautiful thing that he could have possibly seen._

_Hoseok sobs again, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. “He’s alive,” Hoseok murmurs, his voice soft, and he sobs again, smiling wide. “He’s healthy. He’s pregnant.”_

_Hoseok laughs again quietly, still in shock, and the canine hybrid lets out an audible sigh of relief. “Thank goodness,” he says. “I’m so glad to hear that. It sounds like he made it safely to my village. He’s in good hands now. They’ll take good care of him there.”_

_They’re both silent for several long moments as Hoseok thinks, sitting there still shaking from happiness. The gears turn quickly in his mind; he hasn’t felt this energized since he got here, and he’s staring off into space, deep in thought, the canine hybrid waiting for Hoseok to say something, the expectation hanging in the air._

_“Thank you so much,” Hoseok says, finally, turning back to look at the canine hybrid, his eyes sincere. “Really, I can’t thank you enough for showing me how to do this, that I even_ could _do this. It’s a relief to know that he’s safe and happy, and that he’ll stay safe and happy until I can get there myself.”_

_At that, the canine hybrid looks at Hoseok with surprise, his eyebrows shot up. “You’re planning to escape?” he asks._

_“Of course,” Hoseok replies. “It was always the plan if I could do it safely. I can’t live without Kihyun.”_

_Hoseok’s words come out so easily, so effortlessly, and they hang in the air for a moment between them, but they’re the truth. Hoseok can’t imagine his life anymore without Kihyun in it._

_He’d never thought that it was possible that he’d have such intense feelings for someone, that he even deserved it, but he supposes that that’s the one thing keeping him still going, keeping him still alive and willing to fight day in and day out. His love for Kihyun is more powerful than anything terrible that could happen, and far, far more powerful than his own doubts or regrets, and the fact that he was able to do what he just did proves it, proves just how strong their bond really is, proves that what Hoseok feels for Kihyun is_ real _._

_The canine hybrid ponders what Hoseok has told him for a moment, then says, “If you’re planning to escape, I’m in. I want to go home. I can’t be here in this place anymore. I can’t stand it.”_

_He looks at Hoseok then with a certain openness in his eyes, and Hoseok can hear the deep sadness in his voice. “I’d never have a chance alone,” the canine hybrid says. “And as an omega on top of that...no way. But with you, with the two of us together...maybe we can do it.”_

_“It can’t be just us,” Hoseok says, giving the canine hybrid a soft smile. “And we’re going to need to do much more than just escape.”_

_“What do you mean?” the canine hybrid asks, and he tilts his head in a very puppy-like manner in confusion, his floppy canine ears drooping down._

_“He means that this entire place has to go,” a deep voice suddenly speaks up._

_Both Hoseok and the canine hybrid immediately turn in alert to the source of the voice, who turns out to be the other alpha feline across from Hoseok’s cell whom they had both completely forgotten about, but who apparently hadn’t missed a thing. He seems to sense their surprise and embarrassment at forgetting about him, because he smiles warmly._

_“I’ve been right here this whole time,” the alpha says, letting out a small laugh. “Of course I’ve overheard everything. And I want to help. I want to get out of here too.”_

_The other alpha feline is big and strong just like Hoseok is, just like all alphas are, and he has black hair and dark gray fur on his feline ears and tail, short but smooth in texture. He’s tan and muscular and looks rather intimidating at first glance, but Hoseok can tell from the way he holds himself and speaks, and even from his scent, that this alpha is kind, gentle, just as Hoseok himself is too. Hoseok wonders why they’ve never had the chance to meet before, if they really are so like-minded._

_The three of them all just stare at each other in silence, and even without his heightened alpha instincts, Hoseok knows that they’re all thinking the same thing. Can they all really trust each other? Can they all really work together?_

_And it’s after a few more moments that they all exchange a meaningful look, one that makes it clear that they’re all on the same page, and the alpha feline gives Hoseok a nod, and the canine hybrid nods too, and there’s nothing more that needs to be said._

_They’ve all gone through much of the same thing, after all. They understand each other quite well no matter where they may have come from, no matter what happened to them that they ended up here. And most importantly, they all want the same thing, they all want peace and freedom, and who is Hoseok, who are the two of them, to deny another wanting it too, wanting a_ life _? Besides, they’re going to need as many others on their side as possible, and Hoseok hopes that this alpha feline is just the first of many to join their cause._

_“You’re absolutely right,” Hoseok says, finally breaking the silence and turning back to talk to the canine hybrid, now addressing both of his cell mates. “We need to take this entire place down. They already know about the village, and as long as they know about it, Kihyun, and everyone else, they’ll never truly be safe. We’ll never have a real home to escape to unless we destroy this one first. And it won’t be just us. We need everyone that we can get.”_

_The canine hybrid is silent again, deep in thought. “You’re right,” he agrees. “But we’re going to need to proceed carefully, to think this through and to come up with a plan. The idea is crazy, but...”_

_“What choice do we have?” Hoseok finishes. “And hey, I never thought that what just happened was possible. I never thought that I’d be able to telepathically connect to someone hundreds of miles away, let alone experience the world from inside their mind and body. Just because something seems crazy doesn’t mean that it’s not worth trying for. You just proved that to me, and in this case, it’s our only chance. We have to do it, because it’s all we_ can _do if we’re ever going to live real lives.”_

_The canine hybrid smiles softly at Hoseok’s impassioned speech, clearly touched by Hoseok’s heartfelt words. “I’m with you,” the canine hybrid says. “I’ll help you back to your mate, back to your Kihyun.”_

_“I’m in too,” the other alpha says. “There’s nothing left for me here, and I’d like the chance to start over somewhere else. Somewhere kinder.”_

_They all fall to silence again, and it’s then that Hoseok has a realization. “I know that we’ve only just started speaking, but I don’t think that we’ve ever properly introduced ourselves to each other,” he says. “I’m Hoseok.”_

_“Changkyun,” the canine hybrid says, smiling. “It’s nice to meet you. Both of you,” he adds, turning to face the other alpha in the cell to his left._

_“It’s nice to meet you, Changkyun, Hoseok,” the alpha responds, genuine, friendly. “I’m Hyunwoo.”_

_“We’ve got a long road ahead of us, Changkyun, Hyunwoo,” Hoseok says._

_“Literally and figuratively,” Changkyun pipes up. “The path to the village through the forest is hundreds of miles.”_

_And Hoseok is eager, impatient, knowing that the sooner that they get out of here, the sooner that they can be rid of this place forever, the sooner that they can travel through the forest to the village..._

_“We’d better get started as quickly as we can, then,” Hoseok says._

_...the sooner that Hoseok can hold Kihyun in his arms and never let him go._

\---------- 

It’s only a few minutes after Bomi has fallen asleep in Hoseok’s arms, snoring softly and gripping tight to the front of Hoseok’s shirt, that the two of them are interrupted by the sounds of loud chatter and commotion coming their way. 

Bomi stirs and lets out a soft noise of annoyance, sounding exactly like her mother, like Kihyun as she blinks awake wearily, her feline ears twitching, and Hoseok laughs softly before turning to see what the fuss is all about. 

It’s Minhyuk and Hyungwon coming towards them, the two feline hybrids who had taken such good care of Kihyun in all of those months when Hoseok was still stuck in the compound. Hoseok is forever grateful to them and all that they’ve done, especially these past few years. It hasn’t been easy, and he’s always appreciated their help and their kindness, and particularly now, with what they’ve happily agreed to, Hoseok can’t overstate how much it all means to him. 

Because on the very same night that Bomi was born, so were her seven brothers and sisters right after her, and Minhyuk and Hyungwon have been a godsend, helping to raise them all as the kittens’ beloved uncles Wonnie and Minnie, all of them together a big and loving (if a little unusual) family. 

Right now, Hyungwon and Minhyuk are scrambling to keep seven wandering little toddlers in line, guiding them the best that they can to go towards their father, seven adorable little hybrid kitten children chattering and playing and wobbling around all over the place, full of curiosity, all strong and healthy now just like Bomi, despite the fact that they had all nearly died at birth on the night of that terrible storm. 

They’ve all grown up so well, too, and Hoseok loves each and every one of them with all of his heart. He loves them more than words can describe, loves them more than he can even bear sometimes. Most of them took after him in their looks, with fluffy blonde feline ears and tails, but Bomi, as well as her sister, Yeoreum, both took after their mother, with Kihyun’s fur and coloring, chocolate-brown and velvety-smooth. 

But even so, in all of them, Hoseok can see bits of them both, of him and of Kihyun, in their eyes, in their smiles, in their personalities and in their thoughts and in their dreams. Hoseok looks at them, and he really does see the product of his and Kihyun’s love for each other manifested into something real and lasting, in these eight precious bundles of joy and light. 

“We’re a little bit early to see you off,” Minhyuk says, not even able to make eye contact with Hoseok as he’s too busy separating two of the kittens who are playfully biting and clawing at each other, “but these little munchkins just couldn’t wait any longer. I swear it’s like they all knew it the moment that the sun came up. Must have inherited that from you.” 

Hoseok just smiles fondly as Bomi pouts, still half-asleep, and Hoseok coos to her softly, rocking her in his arms, then gently crouches down to lower her onto the ground so that she can go off to join her siblings. She rubs her eyes for a few moments, still sleepy, before wandering over to join them, and there’s a long moment of silence then, between two of the adults, at least, the kids all playing and laughing with each other as their sister rejoins them, as Minhyuk scrambles to keep them all together while Hyungwon turns to speak to Hoseok. 

“We’re going to take great care of them while you’re gone,” Hyungwon says. “We already know exactly how to handle these rascals. They’ll be in good hands.” 

“I know,” Hoseok says, smiling. “There’s no one better suited for the job.” 

There’s a pause between them, and Hoseok’s voice goes quiet and sincere, a hush falling into the air before he speaks. 

“Thank you so much,” Hoseok says. “For everything. Not just for all you’ve done for them, but for caring for Kihyun as well. I know I’ve told you a million times before, but please know...I’ll always be grateful to you and Minhyuk. Always.” 

“And we’ll always be right here,” Hyungwon replies, and he turns then to look over at Minhyuk with fondness. Minhyuk, Hyungwon’s... 

The word “mate” doesn’t seem quite appropriate anymore, not now that biological hierarchy doesn’t mean a damn thing here. Minhyuk is Hyungwon’s...special someone, his most important person, the one whom he loves and cares for with his entire heart, the one with whom he shares his soul. Just as Kihyun is to Hoseok. 

Kihyun will always be Hoseok’s special someone, Hoseok’s most important person, the one whom Hoseok loves and cares for with his entire heart, the one with whom Hoseok shares his soul, and Hoseok knows that Kihyun will be his special someone until the day that Hoseok’s dies, and beyond that, forever. 

And of the many things that Hoseok has learned in just a few short years, while his life has changed so dramatically in such a relatively short amount of time, the most important is relatively simple. It’s how love is the most powerful force of all. 

And of course, it’s not just the romantic kind of love that counts, but all of it. The love of friends, the love of family, the love of one’s self as an individual worthy of freedom and happiness, the love of the world in all of its beauty and possibilities. And yes, too, the love of one special person, one special partner to share it all with in heart and mind and body and soul. 

And Hoseok feels so blessed that even now, even after everything that’s happened, even after the old life that he’s left behind and the new one that he’s found here, he’s still always surrounded by so much love. 

\---------- 

_Hoseok, Hyunwoo, and Changkyun stay in the prison for several long months, months which alternate between mind-numbingly slow and too fast to even comprehend._

_They know very well that the key to their success will be getting everything just right: the right place, the right time, the right circumstances. They know that they have to escape and they know that they need to start an uprising, but the way to go about it, that’s what takes them such a long time to prepare for, to truly feel ready for. But at the same time, they’re impatient, achingly so, particularly Hoseok, who yearns for Kihyun more and more deeply with each day that goes by without any progress._

_But as the months go on, it’s enough time for the chaos and the commotion of such a massive disturbance of the peace that Hoseok, Kihyun, and the alpha mob had created to calm down, and, more importantly, for the prison guards and the elders to let their guard down, confident that everyone is back in their proper form and place, even when the three of them still in this quiet little cell block are a massive ticking time bomb, ready to unleash chaos for the sake of saving everyone, for bringing some good back into the world._

_It’s also enough time for the three of them to rest up, to regain their strength, to grow even stronger as they’re filled day by day, minute by minute with their conviction, their determination, and for Hoseok, his longing, his desire to return to his mate and to be by his side in safety and peace._

_They’re being fed full and regular meals now, given suppressants and basic care to keep them healthy and viable even as long-term prisoners. Hoseok is still not sure what exactly they know or have planned for him; he’s still kept frustratingly out of the loop on his own sentencing, and he has the creeping feeling that his time is coming soon, and that their time to finally act, to set their plan into motion, may be coming with it._

_And they do have a plan, rough around the edges as it is. They know what they’ll do when that time comes for them, and until then, all they can do is wait, keep sane, and stay grounded, stay focused as the weeks go by._

_And of course, Hoseok spends most of his time thinking about Kihyun._

_He misses him so much, with every ounce of his being. Sometimes, he misses Kihyun so much that he feels physical pain from it, his fingertips aching, his chest tightening from how much he craves Kihyun’s touch, Kihyun’s scent, Kihyun’s very presence._

_Hoseok weeps sometimes, from the weight of it all, from how powerless he feels to do anything, from the constant struggle inside of him between his instincts and his rationality, between his head and his heart, between the animal part of him that’s urged to tear the world down around him to get to Kihyun and the human part of him that knows that it would only end badly, for Kihyun, for himself, and for their unborn kittens._

_Instead, he settles for what he can do to reassure himself, and he checks up on Kihyun every few weeks through their connection, always brief, always mere moments, because he doesn’t want to hurt Kihyun, or himself, because even Changkyun doesn’t know what will happen if Hoseok stays inside Kihyun’s head, inside Kihyun’s body hundreds of miles away for too long._

_Truthfully, he worries about Kihyun and their kittens much more than himself; Kihyun is quite far along now with his pregnancy, beginning to show as his belly grows larger, and Hoseok feels like crying from happiness every time he goes into Kihyun’s body and can feel them, can feel their babies growing and starting to come to life._

_And it’s not like he can hold it very long anyway, not even now months later, each time taking more strength and focus than the last rather than getting easier, demanding more of Hoseok, and yet, Hoseok is happy to do it, even when it makes his head pound and his ears and nose bleed for hours afterwards, even when it makes him black out or cough blood from the exertion. He knows it’s not healthy to keep doing this, that it might even be killing him to keep doing this, but he doesn’t care. Being able to see Kihyun safe and happy, even for just a few minutes at a time, is enough for it to be worth it._

_And when Hoseok is not awake and thinking about Kihyun, he’s asleep and having dreams all night of him. Of them. Of them being together. Sometimes they’re just sitting somewhere beautiful, other times they’re holding each other, or lying back in each other’s arms. And other times, Hoseok dreams of kissing Kihyun, of making love to him again somewhere that they’ve never been before, and he hopes more than anything that more than just dreams, these are visions of a future soon to come._

_In the months that pass, Hoseok gets to know his cell mates, his new friends, much better too. Changkyun is an incredible person, and so is Hyunwoo, Hoseok soon discovers, and it gives him hope that there are others like them, other good, decent people in the compound just waiting for their chance to break free from the madness, but too afraid, too sensible, really, to think of going for it alone. But Hoseok is only now starting to realize that they really aren’t alone after all. Not only that; there may be even more of them than they had previously thought._

_It turns out that despite the fact that they had never met prior to their imprisonment, he and Hyunwoo have much in common, which leads Hoseok to believe that they can’t be the only decent alphas in the compound, a realization that gives him more hope than anything else, because they’ll need the strength of alphas if they stand any chance of taking the compound back from the elders and their alpha guards._

_Hyunwoo himself had attempted escape when it came time for him to be matched and sent to the mating cabins. In fact, he had been in the very same mating cycle as Hoseok, but rather than doing what Hoseok had done in resolving not to let anything happen, Hyunwoo hadn’t even let them take him to the cabins. Instead, he had tried to escape in the dead of night just days before and had been caught right on the verge of making it to the outside._

_Truthfully, it was something that Hoseok had thought about doing himself, ultimately deciding against it for fear of exactly what had happened to Hyunwoo, or of being forced to mate in the mating cabin with elders or alpha guards watching them, a punishment that wasn’t uncommon, and Hoseok hadn’t wanted to subject himself nor whom he was matched with to that grotesque level of cruelty and indignity._

_Hoseok also can’t help but to think about the fact that, if he had gone through with any ideas to escape, if he had never ended up in that mating cabin like he was supposed to, he might’ve never met Kihyun, or, even worse, he might have met Kihyun under the worst possible circumstances. It’s a horrifying thought that makes him shudder and makes his stomach turn, but it’s also a thought that makes him somewhat relieved that things had turned out the way that they did, because it really could have been much, much worse._

_And life is like that sometimes, Hoseok supposes, and sometimes, something good can come out of something terrible, like Hoseok being sent to the mating cabins but also meeting Kihyun, being able to know him, the two of them being able to spend time together and fall in love, being able to mate because it was something that they had wanted and that they had chosen. Of course, terrible things can come from something good as well, like living here in the compound, being safe and secure, but also being a prisoner with no hope of a meaningful, happy life._

_Like now, being here. He’s alive, but he’s without the one thing that he wants to live for. He’s without Kihyun._

_As for Hyunwoo, Hoseok learns that rather than execute him immediately, they’ve been keeping Hyunwoo here prisoner until the next mating cycle so that he can be matched with another omega because he’s one of the strongest, most viable alphas in the whole compound. Hyunwoo suspects that it will be a forced mating under supervision as Hoseok had feared for himself long ago, and afterwards, Hyunwoo suspects that he’ll be locked back up until it’s time for the next round, no longer to be trusted with even the smallest semblance of freedom or agency. It’s sick, it’s cruel, but it’s nothing new, nothing unexpected here in this hell that they’ve spent their entire lives trapped in with no escape._

_And Hyunwoo tells Hoseok and Changkyun his story with such sadness, with this look in his eyes that screams that he never wanted this, to have to make the choice between his freedom and his humanity, and that he wishes that he could’ve done something else with his life, that he’s just as much a prisoner whether he’s behind these cell bars or living his life in the compound. Hoseok had previously thought that Hyunwoo had been down here for a long time with how worn-out he looks, but it turns out that he was only here for about a week before Hoseok himself had arrived, the pain of it all taking such a physical toll._

_“I promise that we’re going to get you out of here,” Hoseok says, looking at Hyunwoo with softness through the bars of his cell, softness that he suspects that Hyunwoo has not seen often by the way that Hyunwoo’s eyes grow teary. “I promise that you’re going to have the life that you want, whatever kind of life that you want.”_

_Hyunwoo smiles, clearly trying his best not to cry. “You too,” he says. “I promise that you’ll be with your mate again. I’ll do whatever it takes to help you.”_

_But despite their collective goodness, despite their desire for a peaceful, new life and all of the bright hopes that they have for the future, their escape from the compound prison, and the days and weeks that follow of the uprising, are much more of a roller coaster, much more violent, much more chaotic, much more terrifying than they could have predicted, and they had certainly predicted that it would be a difficult endeavor._

_The night that they escape the prison arrives after they’ve been down there for over seven months._

_Hoseok has been checking on Kihyun more and more often lately, knowing that the kittens are coming soon, happy to see that Kihyun is doing well, that he’s healthy, that he’ll have everything that he needs to care for the babies when they’re born._

_And Hoseok so desperately wishes that he could be there, hopes with everything that somehow, someway, he can be there by Kihyun’s side when their babies come into the world. It seems so far off, like some distant, unobtainable fantasy, but he hopes for it anyway, and as the days go on, and it seems like even more of an impossible wish, he just hopes even harder, determined to be there if not for the birth of their kittens, then however quickly he possibly can be._

_And the time to escape, the time when Hoseok is finally able to get one step closer to what he’s been praying for, comes when he least expects it, when all of them least expect it. But the opportunity arrives, and Hoseok recognizes it immediately for what it is._

_Their cell block is visited by the guards one night, two of them, alphas, well past midnight, come to retrieve Hoseok for his punishment. The time has come, and he had been expecting the same kind of punishment that the other alphas had gotten, one by one throughout the months as their sentences were decided based on their involvement in the fiasco, sentences ranging from forced suppressants to make them weak and submissive to repeated beatings to all manner of humiliating, public punishments._

_Hoseok had assumed that if they hadn’t figured it out by now, what had really happened, why he was really there and what he had really done that day, that he was in the clear, that he would be subject to any of those mild albeit unpleasant punishments; at least he’d still be alive and able to continue on with their uprising plans. After all, the elders hadn’t called for him, hadn’t sent anybody to his cell besides the guards, and he would certainly have been interrogated if they had even suspected him of doing what he had actually done, right?_

_He assumes now as he sees the guards that they’re here to take him to the elders to receive his sentence, and from there, he, Hyunwoo, and Changkyun had devised a plan where Hoseok would come back to free them, since he would undoubtedly be the first released, and then, they could begin to set the uprising in motion._

_But as the two guards approach their cell block, as they get closer and closer to Hoseok and Hoseok can see the expressions on their faces, can smell the cruelty in their scent, he figures it out quickly that everything is about to get much, much more complicated._

_It seems that they have in fact found out what had really happened on that fateful day, that Hoseok had facilitated the escape of a mated omega, and now, he’s here to be sent to execution. The two alpha guards that they’ve sent down to retrieve him are clearly anticipating a struggle by the bloodlust in their eyes, that, and their terrible sneers, the kind alphas would wear only if someone was being led to certain death, about to be publicly executed right before their very eyes._

_They’re here to take him straight to the elders, but not just for his sentencing. Hoseok will be beaten into submission in front of all of the elders and higher-ranked alphas until he’s barely left alive, and then, tomorrow morning, they’ll finish the job, and he’ll be executed in front of everyone in the compound._

_And Hoseok feels like he’s choking on their awful scent growing stronger as they get closer, his body reacting with a sudden rush of pheromones that make his tail and his ears puff up, his chest heaving as he stares them down. Hyunwoo and Changkyun have woken from sleep at the sudden rush of the guards’ scent, and they exchange a concerned look, then turn to Hoseok, because they know exactly what is happening now too._

_They also know that this is it. Despite its unexpected nature, despite the unexpected circumstances, this is what they’ve got, this is what they’ve been given by fate. This is their one chance, and for all their sakes, for Kihyun’s sake, Hoseok has to take it._

_Hoseok sucks in a deep breath, bracing himself, clearing his mind, as the guards come right for his cell still with those horrible sneers on their faces, and they don’t even say anything as they open the cell door, just immediately grab for Hoseok where he’s sitting on the ground and pull him up roughly to his feet, and Hoseok lets them do it, doesn’t resist. Not yet._

_They tie Hoseok’s hands together in front of him, tight over his wrists and up his arms with thick rope, tie them so tight that it’s painful, that the rope digs into Hoseok’s skin and cuts him every time he tries to move, and all the while, the guards say awful things to him, about how he’s going to get the life beat out of him, about how he’ll set an example for everyone else. Hoseok lets their words go right through him, doesn’t take the bait when they’re clearly trying to provoke him, when they would love the excuse to beat him unconscious while he’s restrained and unable to fight back._

_Their nasty jeering continues as they both take hold of Hoseok’s arms on either side of him, and Hoseok still doesn’t' say or do anything, stays as calm as he can, keeping his heart beat steady and his scent stable so as not to give his intentions away as they drag him through the cell block towards the exit, walking right past Changkyun and Hyunwoo. Hoseok pretends that they’re still strangers, that they haven’t been his only companions for months and months, that he doesn’t truly care for them now as his friends, the only friends that he’s ever really had besides Kihyun. Hoseok doesn’t even glance at them, all for their own safety, of course._

_Despite his best attempts, Hoseok still can’t do much to stop his body from its biological, involuntary reactions to the guards as he’s surrounded by their scent, thick and hateful as it cloaks around him, Hoseok’s tail and ears puffing up even more as they tug at Hoseok’s arms and the ropes cut deep into his skin, and Hoseok begins to give off hostile pheromones, at least, that’s what the guards think that they are. Really, they’re much more than that, much more than just rage. They’re rage, and ferocity, and resolve, steeling himself for what he has to do._

_The alpha guards are both bigger than Hoseok, which is saying something, and even Hoseok worries for a moment about whether he’ll be able to overpower them, that is, until he remembers that he doesn’t have a choice. If he doesn’t overpower them, it’s all over, there won’t be any hope left for any of them, and for Hoseok, he won’t be able to see Kihyun again. He has to succeed, because if he doesn’t, he will have truly lost everything._

_The ropes dig hard into his wrists as his skin grows hot with adrenaline, and he’s breathing slowly, concentrating, careful to conceal his intentions, of what he’s about to do, of what’s about to happen. He can sense Changkyun and Hyunwoo watching him, he can hear the shift in their breathing, can feel the shift in the air, and when he’s a suitable distance away from their cells so that they’re no longer in danger, nearly at the exit to the cell block, the moment arrives._

_Time seems to slow down, the world going sticky and soft around Hoseok as if he’s not really here, as if he’s just dreaming, and everything goes silent in Hoseok’s mind as he closes his eyes and takes in one last, deep breath, letting it fill him up down to his atoms. And then, he opens his eyes, and everything comes rushing back in an instant._

_In one swift, precise, powerful movement, Hoseok lifts his bound arms up in front of him and with a shout of effort, swings them back and down apart so quickly and powerfully that he breaks right through the ropes and hits both of the guards on either side of him all in the same motion, all in the same, great snap that echoes loudly off the walls of the entire cell block._

_The pain comes immediately after, and it hurts like nothing that Hoseok has ever felt before in the aftermath, his arm muscles feeling like they’ve just been torn, his wrists and arms sliced up from the ropes, bleeding, but he had hit both guards dead on, knocked the wind right out of them and knocked them back startled with the momentum as the pieces of rope slip off of Hoseok’s wrists and arms and fall to the floor._

_Hoseok turns around immediately to face the guards with his hands now free, and the first guard starts coming right towards him, and so he acts instinctively, swinging his fist and punching the first guard right in the face, breaking his nose with a crack and a gush of blood, the first guard stumbling back while the second guard comes at Hoseok from the other side, and without missing a beat, Hoseok turns and stomps down to twist and punch the second guard right in the face too, breaking his jaw with the loud snap of cracking bone._

_Hoseok is panting hard, sweat already breaking out along his forehead and down the back of his neck as he grits his teeth in pain and fury, adrenaline and rage flooding his veins. He thinks his knuckles might be broken; they’re bleeding and pulsing with pain from the strength of his punches, blood still trickling down his arms and wrists from the rope cuts, but now, it’s like he can barely feel any of it, it’s like he’s been taken over by some dormant monster that’s always lived deep down inside of him, just waiting for its moment to break free, unbothered by what Hoseok does to his own body in the process of taking down these guards. It’s like Hoseok has a red filter shaded over his eyes, it’s like his skin is charged with hot, stinging electricity._

_The first guard rushes back towards Hoseok with his nose gushing blood, with pure rage in his eyes, and Hoseok turns immediately and elbows him hard in the jaw, knocking him back several feet, but the second guard takes advantage of Hoseok’s back to him and gets a brutal punch in to Hoseok’s cheek, nearly knocking Hoseok to the ground as he stumbles backwards in pain._

_The second guard’s fist had hit Hoseok right beneath his eye, and he had been wearing rings that bruised hard and sliced into Hoseok’s skin from the impact, and the delicate area surrounding Hoseok’s eye begins to swell, pulsing with pain so much so that Hoseok can’t open his eye anymore, and he groans as he sways in place, struggling to stay steady on his feet._

_The cut high up on his cheek from the second guard’s rings starts to bleed, and blood drips slowly down Hoseok’s cheek even as he keeps fighting, even as he can hardly see and stumbles right back into a wall, knocking the back of his head painfully hard, so hard that the wall cracks behind him from the impact. He feels stunned, like the world has halted to slow motion again, and he breathes heavily, ragged, biting hard into his lower lip as he tries to just think for a moment, for just a moment, but he doesn’t have the time to spare; both of the guards are back on their feet and coming right towards him._

_And Hoseok just can’t seem to move, it’s like his limbs are paralyzed as his body recovers from the blow to the back of his head, and the first guard takes full advantage of Hoseok’s damaged state, wrapping a hand around Hoseok’s throat and pulling him forward, then slamming him back into the wall as hard as he can, Hoseok seeing black as his brain completely shuts down for a split second, and the first guard starts to squeeze his throat tight, trying to choke the last bit of life out of Hoseok as he angrily sneers with his broken nose still gushing blood. The second guard is there too, holding onto Hoseok’s arms and pushing them into the wall, pinning Hoseok in place from moving._

_Hoseok wheezes as he struggles under the hold of both guards, uses every ounce of his strength that he can muster to try to break free as he closes both eyes, gritting his teeth hard, his consciousness fading in and out as blood roars in his ears from his pounding, frantic pulse, but the guards are much too strong, and it’s not working, and so Hoseok does the only thing that he can think of, and it’s crazy, maybe suicidal, but he did just knock his head incredibly hard._

_Hoseok pauses in his struggle, goes completely still and leans back against the wall, slumping over as if in defeat, and the guards snicker as they tighten their hold on him and move in even closer. But then, Hoseok moves suddenly, catching the guards completely by surprise as he uses all of his strength to roll his entire body forward and headbutt the first guard right in front of him in the forehead as hard as he can._

_He then kicks the guard hard in the stomach so that he’s knocked to the ground several feet away, Hoseok breaking out of the hold of the second guard from the surprise and strength of his sudden movement, the second guard stumbling back and falling to the floor out of reflex as Hoseok shoves into him._

_Hoseok then stumbles forward and doubles over in pain, wheezing now that he can finally breathe again, coughing blood that splatters on the ground below him and drips down from his face and the back of his neck. Meanwhile, the first guard is back on his feet, and Hoseok hasn’t even gotten more than a few breaths in before the first guard is spinning Hoseok around by his shoulders and shoving Hoseok face-first right back up against the wall, knocking Hoseok’s forehead and attempting to pin Hoseok’s arms behind him._

_Hoseok acts entirely on instinct and yells before swinging his head back and headbutting the first guard with the back of his head, the guard stumbling and Hoseok using the brief opportunity to spin back around and punch him hard again in the face, this time getting him at his jaw and knocking out several of his teeth as the first guard falls to the ground in a heap, but Hoseok knows he won’t be down for long._

_And he wishes he could take advantage of finally getting that first guard down and vulnerable, but he can only stand there for a moment, panting hard, covered in blood, in his blood and the guards’, barely able to see out of only one usable eye and covered in sweat and filth. He breathes heavily, and his tail and ears puff as he floods the whole cell block with his pheromones, completely involuntary, completely instinctual. And little by little, the pain starts to fade as something else takes over, something strange and powerful, something that makes him feel invincible._

_And what his body is doing right now, he realizes, is asserting his always dormant alpha dominance, declaring himself the alpha of alphas even in this fight of just three. Without even consciously thinking about it, his biology is taking over, his instincts are taking over, he’s doing what alphas always do in fights whenever one starts to come out on top, the power within him that’s always been there flowing through him, urging him on and flooding him with what feels like liquid fire, liquid_ power _, Hoseok embracing his natural strength for the first time in his life, asserting control over these lesser alphas and with the strength and ferocity to back it up._

 _It’s terrifying. It goes against everything that Hoseok has always believed about himself, about his body. And it feels_ good _._

_The second guard is still recovering from being pushed to the ground from Hoseok’s first outburst and hitting his head, sprawled out on the floor and repeatedly trying to stand up on wobbling legs, but the first guard is already back on his feet, clearly the stronger of the two, and he wastes no time in rushing towards Hoseok and tackling him to the ground, catching Hoseok completely off guard just as Hoseok had done to him._

_He immediately crawls on top of Hoseok and starts punching Hoseok’s face over and over again while Hoseok struggles, eventually able to push the guard off of him and to the side using so much strength so suddenly that he feels like he tore every muscle in his forearms in the process, and yet, it only makes him feel stronger, more powerful, and he nearly growls as the adrenaline flows through him, as the brutality and violence of the fight only encourages his deepest set alpha instincts that have only now been unleashed for the first time._

_The second guard is back and on his feet above Hoseok, and he starts kicking Hoseok hard in the ribs, Hoseok curling on his side as he takes one kick after another, unbothered by the knowledge that he may be internally bleeding as he grits his teeth, both of his eyes squeezed shut as he feels one of his ribs snap like a twig. All he feels is the intensity of the pheromones flowing through him, their increasing fury, the way his instincts are screaming at him to get up, to put these lesser alphas in their place._

_He pulls himself together quickly, rolling over onto his stomach, and then onto his other side, before holding his fists together and walloping the second guard still kicking him behind the second guard’s knees as hard as he can, knocking him off his feet and onto his back with a loud bang as he hits the floor, Hoseok scrambling back up first on all fours and then to his feet, staggered but without breaking much of a sweat, and Hoseok stands there looking down at the second guard for a moment, Hoseok’s chest heaving as he regards him with disgust._

_The truth is, Hoseok is in so much pain right now that he can barely think straight, he can’t really think at all. His pain is rolling through him in waves, and he’s covered in blood and dirt and sweat, and his clothes are torn, and he doesn’t know what’s been broken or damaged, but none of it really seems to matter, not when he’s like_ this _._

 _It’s like his human sense of self-preservation has completely taken a backseat to his alpha instincts taking over and doing all of the fighting for him while he just hangs on for dear life, hopes his own body, his own biology that’s positively_ thriving _in this fight, doesn’t get him killed just for the sake of winning, of being the_ best _and the_ strongest _alpha._

_Hoseok breathes hard, clutching onto one of the cell doors beside him, gripping tight to the bars, his head spinning, and he feels sick, like he’ll collapse under the weight, and his legs wobble as he pants, clutching his side where his ribs feels broken, blood dribbling down his chin and his ears ringing, and it’s like the whole world around him is bathed in dust and the scent of blood, closing in, like the oxygen is leaving the room, his fingers opening and closing as his alpha instincts lap it up greedily, lap up the violence in the air like it’s the nectar of the gods._

_The first guard is back before Hoseok can move again, and he tries once more to pin Hoseok to the wall, grabbing Hoseok’s arms and twisting them behind Hoseok, spinning Hoseok around and slamming him into the cement so hard that Hoseok sees nothing but black for an alarmingly long few seconds, and just like that, they’re right back where they were before, all of Hoseok’s struggle up until that point made useless, and it’s then that the fight takes an even nastier turn as Hoseok refuses to submit now that he knows that he’s truly the strongest of the three of them._

_“We know all about the little omega whore you fucked,” the first guard growls out, his voice sending a shiver up Hoseok’s spine, dripping with cruelty. “We all know that you got him pregnant, that you helped him escape, that you caused a mob that could’ve destroyed everything that we’ve built here.”_

_The alpha pauses for a moment, and Hoseok is still pressed up against the wall, but it’s like he can hear the nasty sneer on the alpha’s face. “Don’t you worry though,” the guard says. “We’ll find him. We’ll hunt him down. We’ll bring him right back here where he belongs, and after he gives birth, we’ll make sure to give him over to someone who knows what’s what, someone who will put him in his place.”_

_The guard slams Hoseok into the wall again, and Hoseok groans, curls inward from the pain. “I’ll tell you a little secret, too,” the alpha guard says, his voice dropping to a cruel whisper. “Right after we kill you and piss on your ashes, I’ll be sure to personally take care of him myself. It’s a shame that you won’t be around to see it, won’t be around to watch as they burn off his claim mark before he’s sent back to the cabins. I bet your little whore will be quite the prize for whoever gets a turn with him next.”_

_And it’s at that moment, at the mere mention of Kihyun from this vile, vile man, this vile, evil creature, that Hoseok is overcome with such pure, hot anger, so intense and absolute that it takes him over, and he forgets all of his pain, forgets everything, forgets where he is and who he is and knows only his fury as he roars in anger and rips himself out of the guard’s hold, turning around and punching him in the face again all in one swift, powerful motion, punching the guard so hard that he’s knocked to the ground on the other side of the cell block._

_And Hoseok is about to stalk over to him, to kill him right then and there, to beat the life out of the alpha guard with his bare hands, when the second alpha guard returns for him, slamming Hoseok back up against the wall by a hand over Hoseok’s face, his palm pressed hard over Hoseok’s mouth and nose, shoving him into the concrete so hard that Hoseok can’t breathe, digging his fingers into Hoseok’s cheeks and temples, and Hoseok pulls as hard as he can at the guard’s wrists to escape while the guard’s other hand moves back to squeeze at Hoseok’s throat._

_“You’re going to die,” the guard says, his voice low and menacing as he move his hand slightly and spits blood in Hoseok’s face. “You’re going to die in the most horrible way imaginable, and then, we’re going to find your whore, we’re going to find whoever’s sheltering him, too, and we’re going to kill every last one of them.”_

_He slams Hoseok’s head back into the wall again as he spews out his vile words. “We’re supposed to bring you in alive,” the guard goes on, squeezing Hoseok’s face and throat and slamming Hoseok’s head back into the wall so hard that Hoseok hears it before he feels it crack, the sound sickening as it rings out loud and clear. “But accidents happen.”_

_The first guard has returned now, and he’s punching Hoseok’s stomach and holding Hoseok’s shoulder back so that he can’t struggle, and with each hit to his gut, with each squeeze to his face and around his throat, it’s like Hoseok is losing his grip on himself, losing his tether to his own mind little by little, paralyzed by all of the awful things that the alpha guard is saying to him, paralyzed by his injuries, by his overwhelming desire to fight back but his inability to do so, because he’s trapped, pinned to the wall and unable to move, and his vision is completely gone; all he sees is black, and all he can smell and taste is blood._

_“And don’t you worry,” the guard in front of him says, “your omega slut will be just fine, right back where he belongs with a proper alpha, but only after we all get a turn, and you know how rough we like it, so rough that those weakling babies in his belly won’t stand a chance and neither will he, an—”_

_Time seems to stop then, grinding to a sudden halt in Hoseok’s mind as the horrific words go through him slow and sticky like sludge, each one like a knife to his chest, and at that moment, Hoseok feels nothing, hears nothing, sees nothing at all, as if his brain has left his body entirely as the fury that overcomes him washes away everything else, his blood running white-hot as he fully embraces his alpha power, lets it in fully after holding it back for so long._

_Hoseok goes berserk, and it’s then, with a huge, superhuman burst of strength that comes from somewhere deep, deep inside of him, that Hoseok yells the loudest that he’s ever yelled, both of his eyes wide and full of fire as he breaks free from both of the guards in the same great push, knocking the first guard off to the side and shoving his own hand over the second guard’s face, slamming him against the opposite wall so hard and fast that the guard’s head splits open with a splattering noise on impact against the concrete, cracked open and crushed like a walnut as he’s killed instantly._

_The guard then falls to the floor, dead, a smear of blood painted behind him on the wall as his body slumps down to the ground, blood that begins to gush down over his back and shoulders, to pool on the floor beneath him in a thick puddle._

_Hoseok just stares at the dead guard’s body for a few long seconds, breathing hard, his eyes dark and unhinged, his hands balled into fists on either side of him as his alpha pheromones fill the cell block so thick that they’re nearly tangible, his entire body seething with rage. It’s like he’s been taken over by some otherworldly force, something that’s not at all himself, something truly wild, uncontainable, something inhuman._

_It’s the first time that Hoseok has ever killed someone. No, not someone. A monster. And now, he thinks that he might be a monster too, but he’s always known it, always felt it deep down. It’s in his nature._

_The world around him still seems to be moving in slow motion, or, Hoseok realizes, his mind seems to be moving at lightning speed thanks to whatever supernatural alpha strength he’s just tapped into, this deeply contained, dormant power beyond mere alpha biology that he’s always had inside of him. It’s terrifying, chaotic, something dark and violent, and awakened only when his mate was threatened. And when he’s like this, he knows it, he just knows it, that he’s unstoppable._

_His injuries no longer pose any weakness to him, no longer even cause him pause, his body having endured so much already and yet it’s like he’s gotten nothing but a few scrapes. It’s not that he’s healing, and his wounds will certainly need attention, but it’s like he’s been replenished with something fierce, something that makes him stronger, more resistant, able to take more and dish more out at the same time._

_He no longer feels like he’s barely clinging to his life, but instead feels stronger than he’s ever felt as he turns now to the other guard who is still alive and stumbling towards him, sneering, who must surely know that it’s a lost cause for him at this point trying to fight Hoseok, that he’s certainly about to meet his own violent end, but as an alpha, like all alphas, he’s willing to die for his pride rather than roll over and give in._

_The guard leaves a thick trail of blood behind him as he comes for Hoseok, and without missing a beat, Hoseok easily rips a pipe clear off the wall, leaving a shower of sparks and flickering electricity in its wake, and he wallops the guard right in the head with a loud bang, Hoseok letting out a grunt of effort as he drops the pipe to the floor with a clanging echo._

_The guard hits the wall and clutches his head, but he tries again after a moment to come for Hoseok, and Hoseok isn’t about to let him breathe for even another second. And so, he grabs the guard roughly by the shoulders and without even thinking about it, without even realizing it, he spins them both around and pushes the guard right into the exposed pipe stuck in the wall, the sharp half left over of the piece that he had just ripped apart, impaling the guard on its jagged, broken edges right through the stomach with a sick squelching noise that’s straight out of anyone’s darkest nightmares._

_Unlike the other guard that Hoseok had killed instantly, this guard remains alive, about to die a slow, painful death as he coughs up blood, as blood stains his uniform around where he’s impaled. He blinks out of sync and breathes raggedly, staring right at Hoseok with wide, blood-shot eyes, and it’s only then, as Hoseok stands there glaring at him, chest heaving as he growls, filled with inhuman rage at all that the guards had said to him, at what this entire terrible place has done to him his entire life, that Hoseok suddenly feels the weight of everything, of what he’s just done, rushing him all at once._

_He stands there, hands balled into fists at his sides again, his fingers digging hard into his palms, and he’s breathing heavily, bleeding all over, his strange carnal reaction to his mate being threatened still dulling his pain, but as he stands still, coming down from it all, as the pain starts trickling back in little by little as he comes back to himself, back into his own body, his eyes begin to fill with tears._

_He always knew that he was holding back, that he was holding_ something _back, but he had never thought that he could be capable of something like_ this _._

_He lets out a sob, flooded with a sudden sense of grief and regret at succumbing to something so violent inside of him, at giving into the worst, darkest parts of himself, and the tears spill easily down his dirty cheeks as the pressure pounding in his head starts to collapse in on itself, as his throat grows tight and dry and he takes in the sight of what just occurred, the aftermath of the carnage._

_It had felt like such a long scene, truly a fight for his life, for all of their lives, but in reality, it had only lasted a little over a minute. And Hoseok is horrified down to his core, his eyes going wide as he cries silently, as he blinks and the tears spill down his cheeks, falling to the floor fast and hot._

_The guard impaled on the pipe is still staring at him, but Hoseok can see now that the life is quickly leaving his eyes, and Hoseok sees it the moment that it happens, the moment that the last spark of it vanishes as the guard slumps over, pinned to the wall with the pipe sticking through his stomach, his eyes bugged out and lifeless and his mouth hanging open, dead._

_Hoseok is stunned in place, unable to move, unable to breathe properly, crying freely and shaking all over, from frustration, from shock, from horror at himself, at all that just happened. His mind is blank, unable to settle on any one thought, and everything is rushing before his eyes, replaying itself over and over and over again. The sights, the sounds, the smells, every feeling and sensation repeating on an endless loop._

_He’s broken out of the spell only by the sounds of shouting, Changkyun and Hyunwoo shouting at him from the other side of the cell block, shouting at him about the keys, and Hoseok stares at them unmoving, blinks once, twice, tears still streaming down his face without so much as a sob, and he understands then that now is not the time. He doesn’t have the time to think about what just happened, to think about everything that he just did. They have to keep moving._

_Hoseok goes over to the guard who’s impaled on the wall, and as he gets closer, Hoseok’s stomach starts to turn now that he’s returning to his normal self, as he starts to feel his own injuries again, as he aches and bleeds all over and still can’t manage to keep his injured eye open all the way, still sure that his rib is broken and that he’s in need of immediate medical attention._

_He does what he can and just tries his best to ignore the pain and to move carefully, but he’s unable to face it head-on, the fact that he just killed two people so brutally, and so he shuts his eyes as he feels around in the guard’s jacket, tries not to breathe so that he doesn’t take in the quickly setting stench of death._

_Of course, he’s unlucky enough that the keys are nowhere to be found, and Hoseok scrambles away quickly to check with the other guard, still sitting slumped against the opposite wall in a pool of his own blood. Thankfully, Hoseok is luckier this time, and the keys are tucked right into the guard’s front pocket._

_From there, Hoseok quickly unlocks Changkyun and Hyunwoo’s cells with shaking hands, his vision still going in and out even in his one good eye, and the three of them move quickly over the puddles of blood and smears of dirt and grime, past the guards’ dead bodies and out of their cell block entirely as they escape to the surface in a scramble, completely silent the entire time, none of them ready to talk about what just happened._

_They communicate completely by instinct and body language as they go, by meaningful glances and twitches of their ears or tails, and Changkyun and Hyunwoo are careful to help Hoseok to move around in his critical condition. They go just as they had planned, go right for the surface without stopping until they’re out in the open outside of the prison, out and exposed into the nighttime and the blanket of darkness._

_They soon clear the enclosure of the prison entirely, now making their way through some of the guard training centers and living quarters, Hoseok limping and keeping up with Changkyun and Hyunwoo the best that he can, continually insisting through noise and expression that they don’t treat him as a burden, that he’ll keep up. They all know that it won’t be long now before they hear the sirens and searchlights, that it won’t be long now until their absence is noticed and the dead bodies of the two alpha guards discovered._

_And if they’re captured this time, the punishment will be faster, and more severe, almost certainly death without so much as a moment’s hesitation, though, of course, Hoseok had already had a death sentence hanging around his neck, so it’s not like he has anything to lose now, and Changkyun and Hyunwoo had both known exactly what they were getting into when they agreed to this plan._

_At least for Hoseok, he’s much more afraid of what will happen to Kihyun, because if anything happened to Kihyun, well, it’s the only way that they could really hurt Hoseok now, the only way they could ever really hope to punish him._

_They aren’t out for long before they decide to split up, to give them better odds, a better chance for them to be able to all make it for the next part of the plan. It makes Hoseok feel uneasy, because he of course wants them all to make it, and at the same time, he knows that he’s the least likely of the three to survive on his own with all of his injuries and that together, they move much more slowly, much more clumsily than they would apart. He’s fearful and unsure, but nonetheless, he knows that splitting up is probably the smartest thing to do._

_And when they come to a crossroads deep within the compound, the three of them exchange a look, no time for a lengthy farewell, all of them hoping that the separation will only be temporary. Changkyun and Hyunwoo are clearly concerned about Hoseok and hesitant to leave him by himself, but they know not to argue when they know exactly what he’ll say, that as long as he can get a few hours alone, he’ll be able to heal up just fine through his alpha biology, and so, without further pause, they all go their separate ways._

_It’s as he’s all alone, then, running in one direction as fast as he can and the best that he can with all of his injuries threatening to slow him down or cause him to collapse, his ears ringing, in search of somewhere that he can safely hide out to heal and take care of himself for a bit, trying to keep calm to hide his scent the best that he can, that Hoseok flashes back to his previous daring escape, his escape with Kihyun all those months ago._

_It was just like this, and it wasn’t so long ago, not really, but it feels like another lifetime, or like it happened to someone else._

_And if he had known that those would be his last moments with Kihyun for such a long time, if he had known that things were going to play out the way that they did...he wonders if he could have...if he should have done something different, if there was something else that he could have done, some other way that he could be with Kihyun right now in safety, preparing for the birth of their kittens and having left the compound behind forever._

_Kihyun would remember him. Hoseok would never have had to let him go, to send him off and out into the deep, dark, dangerous unknown without even the memory of Hoseok by his side to keep him safe._

_And as Hoseok keeps moving on swift feet through the compound, ducking into the shadows, keeps going even as he has trouble seeing and moving and sensing what’s going on around him, keeps going even though he’s making his injuries so much worse, he wonders whether it really would have been possible for them, if he had just done things a little bit differently. He wonders if they really could have had a happy ending from the start._

_He wonders if a happy ending is still possible even now._


	12. Chapter 12

Back in the present, the sun has fully risen and the village has begun to fully come to life around them, little by little, like a flower opening to bloom. And even now, after living here for years, there are still things that Hoseok will never quite get used to, things that still amaze him day after day no matter how mundane that they may seem. 

The compound was often silent and still, but in a much different way than the village’s peace and quiet. Instead, the compound had always felt cold, impersonal, uncaring, dead even in the busiest parts of the day, and that feeling of isolation was always present, always strong. Even with so many others living there, even with so many others around him at all times, Hoseok had always felt alone at the compound, no matter where he was, or what he was doing, or who he was with. 

That had all changed when he had met Kihyun, of course, but the very nature of the compound, and everyone in it, well...that had been something set in stone for centuries, since its founding, seemingly unable and unwilling to change. 

But in the village, things couldn’t be more different. Here, the mornings are alive and bright, and the day only grows brighter, busier as the hours go on. The atmosphere of energy never dissipates, the village itself like a living, breathing thing, and even when he’s physically alone, doing some task by himself or gone off to somewhere by himself, he never truly feels alone. He knows it in his bones that he’s never truly alone when he’s here, when he’s surrounded by everyone and everything within these gates that he’s grown to care so deeply for. 

And in the compound, isolation was written into every aspect of their existence, even down to the separation into alpha, beta, omega, but here in the village, everyone works together, blends together, coexists, and most importantly, everyone is free to choose their own path, and they can choose it because they want it, never out of a reluctant sense of obligation or the threat of force. 

Everyone here always has a choice, and that choice, that freedom is what makes all the difference. Perhaps what tells the most is that unlike at the compound with its huge walls and guards, villagers here have no obligation to stay if they don’t want to, but the truth is, nearly everyone born into the village, and nearly everyone who finds their way to this wonderful place, ends up staying here for the rest of their lives. 

Hoseok knows that it’s something that the villagers probably take for granted, especially those who have lived here for their entire lives, and those who have lived here for so long that they’ve forgotten entirely the dark past that they’ve left behind. But for Hoseok, it’s all still there, all still lurking in the back of everything that he thinks and feels here, and even when he begins to feel like it’s starting to slip away, even when he feels like he’s beginning to only remember his life, his real life, as always being here, he always appreciates what a miracle it is, never takes it for granted that he was given a second chance. 

There’s something truly remarkable, truly special about living in a place that’s so bright. So... _alive_. That’s what it is, Hoseok realizes, that’s what makes the village so special, and so different from everything that he had ever known and everything that he had left behind. 

Where the village is life, the compound was death. 

Everything was about death, everything revolved around death, always. It was like death was in the air, etched into everyone’s minds, etched into everyone’s core from the moment when they were born and for every moment after. 

Mating was done to perpetuate the lineage, to prevent the death of their species. Alphas, betas, omegas were all separated and given specific roles to prevent the death of the community, of the strict order that the elders had long ago established. Disobedience and incompetence were punished by death, and everyone stayed in line, stayed in their place for fear of death. Some secretly wished for death when they thought that it was the only way to escape. 

But here in the village, it’s all about _life_. Life is in everything that the village is, in its people, and around every corner. The village breathes life into everyone in it and everything around it. Here in the village, everyone and everything is _alive_. There’s always assurance that the day will be bright, that the world will grow brighter. Unlike the compound, which felt like a prison that one could never escape, the village is a sanctuary that makes one feel absolutely free even contained within its borders. 

It’s something that Hoseok had never felt before he lived here, and it’s something that Hoseok had never felt before he met Kihyun. 

Hoseok often thinks about how similar the feeling was, when the two of them were together back in the mating cabin all those years ago, the feelings he had when they first met and fell in love. The feeling that his new life here gives him every day is the same as it was back then, when they fell for each other, when they mated, and when they made their plans together for the future. 

It’s simple to think about, really. After a lifetime that had always revolved around death, a lifetime that itself was a constant reminder of death, when Hoseok was with Kihyun, when they two of them found each other, Hoseok’s life became all about living, about being alive, about striving for the life that was always waiting for them to live it. 

Hoseok looks once more out into the forest. The sounds of Minhyuk and Hyungwon wrestling the eight kittens fades into the background, and Hoseok can’t help but to think that this is exactly how it’s supposed to be. Not just here in the village, but everywhere, always. This is what the world is supposed to be. The world is supposed to be alive. 

And though the world was supposed to have been destroyed by the great war, by places like the compound, life has always continued, has always found a way to go on. He can see it in the way that he and Kihyun found each other even amidst the death and decay, how he and Kihyun together were a spark of life within death. And the village, too, is a spark of life in a world that was supposed to have died long ago. Hoseok wonders how many other sparks of life are out there making the world brighter day by day, just as he and Kihyun’s own spark of life had overcome their circumstances. 

And now, Hoseok’s greatest wish is to be able to see it all for himself, to be a part of it, of the world come back to life, to finally live his own life, the life that he and Kihyun had never before gotten the chance to live. 

\---------- 

_Not long after escaping the prison and separating from Changkyun and Hyunwoo, Hoseok soon finds himself so deep within the compound that he can no longer keep track of where he’s going, but he keeps going anyway, keeps moving forward, searching for somewhere, anywhere that might be safe._

_Most of the compound is dark at this time of night, and it’s hard to recognize where is where when everything is so uniform, so plain and cold and identical, and Hoseok’s injuries need attention, and he’ll be in real trouble if he doesn’t find a place to stop and to rest soon. He feels like he’s on the brink of collapse when he finally stumbles upon his temporary safe refuge, and it’s a place that’s very familiar._

_He slows down as he approaches, his steps kicking up dust as he goes quiet and takes in a hitched breath, his heart pounding, because he truly thought that he’d never lay eyes on this place ever again._

_Somehow, through some strange twist of fate, Hoseok has found his way back to the mating cabins._

_Not only that, but it’s now the third time in his life that he’s looked upon them like this, where they’ve held such a deep and personal meaning to him. The first time, he was looking upon them with dread, thinking that only troubles lied in front of him. Instead, he found Kihyun, he found the love of his life and the reason to fight for his life and his freedom. The second time, he and Kihyun were escaping, and Hoseok was full of hope, focused only on a brighter future, hoping to leave the cabins and the compound itself behind forever, only to end up right back where he started and in even more danger than before._

_There seems to be a pattern, he realizes, a pattern that ensures that Hoseok never knows what to expect, what outcome will result when he lays eyes on these plain, unassuming wooden cabins. What they will mean for him now, he has no way of knowing, but at least for the time being, he hopes that they can be a temporary shelter from the chaos, from the danger, can be somewhere that can give him the time that he needs to heal before he can risk finding Changkyun and Hyunwoo, wherever they are now in this cruel, twisted place._

_Hoseok pauses and stands silently, only a few short steps away from the cabin nearest to him, and he begins moving slowly, carefully. He can smell that there’s a mating cycle going on right now, that the cabins are full of mated pairs, but he also knows that, as in all mating cycles, there’s always an unused cabin or two. There just aren’t enough viable alphas and omegas to fill them all every time, and so Hoseok starts going slowly down the line, searching for one that might be empty so that he can hide himself inside._

_He thinks about how strange it is as he wanders, how almost poetic that the mating cabins, the place where he met Kihyun, where everything began, are back in his life again in such a different context, when everything has changed so much, when he himself has changed so much with it._

_As he keeps looking, searching for just one empty cabin, he wonders if..._

_Hoseok continues weaving around in the dark through the space between the cabins, and soon, his question is confirmed, and yes, he sees it. Empty. His temporary safe house, unoccupied this mating cycle._

_It’s the very same mating cabin that he had shared with Kihyun._

_From the looks of it, it’s been unoccupied since they had used it all those months ago, and as Hoseok approaches and takes in its scent, his suspicions are confirmed. The compound was often slow with repairs, especially when not immediately necessary, and Hoseok can see that this case is no different. All of the damage from the storm when he and Kihyun were there remains undisturbed, unattended to, the wood still cracked and split and starting to rot from the neglect._

_As Hoseok carefully approaches the door, staying calm to keep his scent down, he undoes the latch and steps inside, and yes, it’s clear that no other couple has stepped foot in here since he and Kihyun. Everything else may be different now, but this cabin still smells like them, like their time here, and all of the memories come trickling in one by one._

_Hoseok steps inside and turns on the light, closing the door quietly behind him, and he moves cautiously, hyperaware of every movement that he makes, as if he’s afraid that moving too suddenly might bring the whole place crashing down, the wood creaking loudly beneath his footsteps, as if the whole cabin is taking a breath for the first time in months._

_It’s oddly quiet inside as he closes the door, goes almost completely silent as if shutting out the rest of the world, but Hoseok can see now as he steps in and looks around that it’s not entirely untouched since they left after all. The cabin has been cleaned, even rearranged somewhat, with the bed in a different spot than Hoseok remembers and no sign of food or accommodations._

_Even so, it’s obvious that nobody else has actually lived here, nobody has stayed here overnight as Hoseok and Kihyun had for those seven days. And even beneath the faint scent of cleaning chemicals that still lingers, and the dust lightly coating every surface, Hoseok can still smell himself and Kihyun, can smell glimmers of their combined mated scent, slight and soft but clear, undeniable, and it makes him tear up as he breathes it in._

_Hoseok approaches the bed first and runs the tips of his fingers lightly over the covers, the very same covers that he and Kihyun had shared. He remembers their time together, the sensations, the sights, the sounds, everything playing so clearly through his mind like it had only happened moments ago. He remembers it all, and he treasures it all deep inside of him. It may have been short, but it was the most important time of their lives, it was_ the _time of their lives, and Hoseok hopes with all of his heart that it wasn’t the last._

_Hoseok turns away from the bed after a few moments and proceeds to check over everything else in the cabin. As he had noticed before, there isn’t any food, but everything else appears to be in working order for him to at least stay the night to rest. He’s completely lost in thought as he goes about opening drawers, opening cabinets, checking in corners and around the bed. As soon as he’s strong enough, he’ll leave to find his friends. He knows that he can’t risk staying in one place for too long lest he be tracked here by his scent._

_His injuries have become quite aggravated from his escape, and he may be an alpha, extra sturdy and extra resilient, durable to injuries that would kill anyone else and able to heal much faster and easier, but even so, they still take a toll on him now, especially when he hasn’t had even a second to rest since his fight with the prison guards. He’s feeling every single one his wounds, every pounding ache and every sharp, stabbing pain now that his adrenaline and rage have worn off, and his vision goes in and out of focus as he stumbles into the bathroom, suddenly feeling lightheaded, weak, like he’ll collapse, like he’ll be sick._

_He’s careful to stay as quiet as he can, to not give away his presence to anyone who might be nearby as he washes himself in the shower. He doesn’t use the shower itself (too noisy) but instead, uses a towel soaked in hot water as a large washcloth, just to wipe off some of the dirt and the blood coating his skin all over. He then sets to work tending to all of his injuries with the meager first aid kit that he finds beneath the bathroom sink. It’s not much, but it’s enough for him to take care of what he needs at the moment until he can do better, until he can find a real medical expert._

_He works on himself sitting on the edge of the tub, cleaning, disinfecting, and bandaging his wounds one by one, stitching himself up as needed and biting down into another towel to stop himself from screaming as the needle pierces his swollen, dirty skin, sweat breaking out along his forehead as he snaps bones and joints back into their proper places and wraps them tight to help them to heal. Even as his eyes start to grow teary from the pain, he becomes lost in thought, the bathroom soon beginning to smell like disinfectant mixing with his own blood, the scent so thick that it almost chokes him._

_After everything that had happened so quickly, so frantically, after the violent scene at the prison and his subsequent desperate escape, it’s odd to be here now, with his alpha pheromones quieted and his instincts cooled to normal levels. His body feels strangely calm, his heart no longer ready to burst from his chest, his headspace returning to normal, and now, he just feels anxious, uneasy more than anything else._

_He still hasn’t come to terms with what he did to get here, how he killed those two guards. They were horrible, cruel men, yes, but it doesn’t matter. They were living, breathing people and Hoseok...Hoseok is a murderer now. In the heat of the moment, he had acted without thinking, without hesitating, all because of his rage, his grief, his alpha instinct to protect his mate. To protect Kihyun._

_And he knows full well that it wasn’t just self-defense, not entirely. He knows that he didn’t have to go so far, to go as far as he did, and yet, he did it all the same. The truth is, he_ wanted _those guards dead, dead because of what they had said about Kihyun, dead because of what they had threatened to do to Kihyun. He wanted them dead more than anything, and that...that’s what scares him now._

_At that thought, Kihyun’s face suddenly flashes across his mind for a moment, Kihyun’s face when sleeping peacefully beside Hoseok after they had mated, all blissed-out and satisfied, innocent and vulnerable, safe and happy under Hoseok’s protection. Hoseok sees Kihyun’s face when they had first kissed, too, right in the moment before Kihyun had pulled him in by his collar and their lips had met for the first time. He sees the look in Kihyun’s eyes so clearly, that look of fondness, Kihyun bright and shining like a star, and Hoseok finds himself smiling softly, his eyes suddenly wet with fresh tears._

_The combination of being here, in the cabin, and of smelling Kihyun’s scent after so long, it’s all making Hoseok hypersensitive, fragile like he’ll shatter into a million pieces at the slightest touch. He lets out a shaky sigh, closing his eyes and swallowing hard at the thought of what Kihyun would think of him if he knew what Hoseok had done to protect Kihyun’s honor, to protect Kihyun’s life._

_Of course, it doesn’t excuse what he did, the fact that he did it for a noble reason, and Hoseok doesn’t know if all that’s happened makes him even worthy of Kihyun anymore. After all, Kihyun had loved Hoseok because he was different from other alphas, but now, Hoseok isn’t so sure._

_Is he really so different? Is he really so different when he was willing to commit murder? Is he really so different when he knows it in his bones that he would do it all over again in a heartbeat, that he’d kill a thousand guards for Kihyun, a million, that he’d do anything for Kihyun no matter the cost? He’d do it even if Kihyun hated him for it, or feared him for it, and he’d do it even if Kihyun never wanted to see him again afterwards._

_Hoseok would gladly give up his life, give up his happiness, give up everything for Kihyun’s sake._

_But now, Hoseok doesn’t know what to think, doesn’t know what to feel except for his guilt, his confusion, the way that he’s hopelessly torn up and tangled inside. All of his life, Hoseok has always wanted to be_ good _, has always tried to be good, to do the right thing, and he can’t help but wonder if he’s screwed it all up now, or if he ever really had it in the first place._

_He had never thought of himself this way, as capable of what he’s done, but maybe he does belong here in the compound after all, even though he’s always believed that he was different, that he belonged somewhere else. But now, it’s like every time Hoseok closes his eyes, every time he blinks, all he can see are those guards dead in front of him. Every breath he takes, all he can smell is the stench of their blood. He worries now, about what it really means, and about if he’s ever really known himself at all._

_He wonders what Kihyun would say if Hoseok told him all of this, if he unburdened himself and sought Kihyun’s advice. At that thought, Hoseok puts down his supplies, his towels, his bandages, everything, his body aching, and he sits back on the edge of the tub, tilting his head back and gripping onto the tub frame on either side of him, closing his eyes and breathing deeply as he pictures Kihyun’s face clear and beautiful in his mind, as he tries to imagine what Kihyun would think, what Kihyun would have to say about all of this._

_Hoseok squeezes his eyes closed tighter then, shaking as he’s overcome with emotions. He doesn’t know if he deserves it, deserves the way that he knows that Kihyun would forgive him, would understand, would believe in him, would believe that Hoseok_ is _good, really, truly good._

_And if Kihyun were here with him, right here, right now...if he knew what had happened, he would tell Hoseok that it’s not true, that Hoseok doesn’t belong in the compound, that he’s not just like all of the other alphas, not just like those alpha guards._

_Kihyun would say that the very fact that Hoseok feels the way that he does, that he wants to be good, that he’s trying to be good, that he’s trying so hard and so earnestly, shows that he’s different, and that even if he went too far, even if he did an awful thing, it doesn’t meant that he’s lost forever, or that he can never be the person that he wants to be. It would be difficult, but Kihyun would try to help him, would help him repent, would help Hoseok to forgive himself, to see himself, to love himself the way that Kihyun forgives and sees and loves him._

_Hoseok keeps focusing, breathing slowly, clearing his mind. He tries to achieve the level of focus needed to make the connection with Kihyun, hoping for just a glimpse through Kihyun’s eyes to help him in his moment of darkness, when he’s in need of just a little light._

_For a long time, he tries. He tries over and over again, many times almost there, almost able to reach it, but Kihyun is always just out of his grasp, just barely slipping through his fingers, fading further and further away the harder that he tries to hold on._

_Hoseok sighs, because he knows that it’s no use. He’s just too injured and exhausted. He can barely keep awake and keep himself sitting upright, let alone muster the energy and exertion required for this even on a good day. All he’s doing now is scrambling his mind and hurting himself further. He sighs again, knowing he won’t be able to give it a real try until he’s had some much-needed rest, a chance to truly reset and clear his mind, or if not clear it, at least give it a break for a few hours._

_He finishes tending to his wounds the best that he can, with the hope that his naturally enhanced healing abilities will help him to heal much faster, to be in much better condition by the morning. It’s then that he finally leaves the bathroom and steps out into the main space of the cabin, staring straight ahead with wet eyes at the bed, the very bed that he had shared with Kihyun, where they had mated and held each other all night all those months ago._

_He approaches slowly, cautious, reaching out his hand to delicately run his palm over the fabric of the covers as he moves closer, then over the pillows that have been perfectly arranged, and he’s suddenly overcome with an insuppressible urge, and so he bends over and sticks his face into the fabric of the pillow where Kihyun had slept beside him, breathing in deeply and closing his eyes to take in its scent._

_Of course, the pillow has been washed since they were here, but even so, he can still smell Kihyun there, just the faintest, faintest trace, almost nothing but a glimmer of dust on the very end of the individual threads, like an afterthought, or like a fading dream. Hoseok breathes it in, shaking as it travels through his whole body, wishing that he could go back to that night and pause time to spend eternity there with Kihyun by his side, the rest of the world faded away to nothing but background stillness and dark, forgotten memories._

_He stands up straight again, his eyes fluttering open, and he sighs, because now, like this, the bed looks so big and empty, so cold and impersonal, and Hoseok is desperate for even the smallest trace of warmth, of comfort._

_A little while later, when he finally finishes preparing for bed and he gets under the covers to sleep for whatever’s left of the night, he can smell Kihyun all around him, everywhere, those faint, almost imperceptible traces that together paint a picture in his mind, and he lets himself fall right into it, lets himself collapse right into the swirling depths of his memories of Kihyun like he’s falling into an abyss, gladly giving himself over entirely as it wraps around him and floods through him as he drifts off into the embrace of sleep, of the inside of his own head._

_He dreams of the two of them together as always, dozens of dreams flickering through his mind one after another, dreams filled to the brim with sensations, with the ghosts of kisses and touches, with the faintest but brightest heat, all of his memories of what had happened mixed with visions of what could happen, what Hoseok hopes are a glimpse into the future,_ their _future, their reunion, and a part of him wonders if Kihyun still has these dreams too, if what everything that Changkyun had said is correct, that Kihyun still remembers him somewhere deep, deep down, that Kihyun still sees and feels Hoseok like this in his dreams just as Hoseok sees and feels him in his own._

 _Hoseok wonders if it’s really possible, that even though Kihyun doesn’t consciously remember him, that their connection would be strong enough to survive, and that Kihyun would still see and feel at least_ something _of their time together and what they are to each other, that Hoseok’s alpha pull had merely shrouded the memories but not erased them, not at all._

 _The truth is, he believes it now, after everything that’s happened. He believes in_ them _, believes that their love for each other is stronger than anything else, and in that way, Hoseok is relieved, happy even, that even in the smallest of ways, he can provide Kihyun some of his own comfort through their bond, through the faintest glimmers of their memories._

_Hoseok rests for a long, long time, falls deep into a dark, restful slumber, and when he finally stirs awake many hours later, sore all over but feeling much better than he had the night before, it’s already midday, and the compound is eerily quiet, eerily calm, almost like Hoseok is the only one still here._

_Hoseok’s feline ears and tail twitch as he sits up in the bed slowly, blinking over and over again, cautious, high on alert. He had expected to be woken up by commotion if the guards had sniffed him out, or at least awoken by the danger of an unfamiliar scent or far-off noises, but he doesn’t sense anyone nearby at all, not even in any of the neighboring cabins._

_It makes him feel exceedingly anxious rather than relieved. He wonders what could possibly be happening outside of the walls of the cabin, and if it would be safe for him to leave, but he has a feeling that despite whatever’s happening outside, he’ll have no choice but to leave here as soon as he possibly can, because no matter what, it won’t be safe to stay here for long, not that it ever truly was in the first place._

_Nonetheless, the day that he spends in the cabin alone is rather uneventful. He’s starving with no food to be found and he’s still exhausted down to his bones, only able to stay alive just barely thanks to there being plenty of water available, but it only makes it all the more difficult as he tries once more, over and over again without success to connect to Kihyun, but it just seems like there’s something in the way of it, something undefinable and insurmountable that he can’t quite manage to overcome._

_And he’s on the verge of giving up entirely, wondering if he’s simply too weak, or if he’s just tapped out his own strength, his ability to connect to Kihyun actually finite, each attempt making him feel physically worse until his nose and ears are bleeding from the effort. But as he sits on the edge of the bed, gripping tight to the covers and closing his eyes even tighter, Kihyun’s faint scent still filling his lungs, caressing his face, he tries once more, digs into the deepest parts of himself to anchor him to the here and now, to his overwhelming, all-encompassing_ need _for Kihyun._

_It's all that he can feel in every part of him. It’s all that matters now, it’s everything that matters._

_Hoseok breathes deeply again and he lies back on the bed, his head hitting the mattress with a soft thump, and he spreads out his arms, his face and his chest towards the ceiling, and he keeps breathing, lets his body sink down and lets every muscle go loose and relaxed, unbound, unburdened, and as he breathes in the still, calm air around him, lets each glimmer of Kihyun flow through his veins as he clears his mind and sees nothing_ but _Kihyun, his heart slowing almost to a stop and his breathing going low and faint, he completely lets himself go, lets himself become one with space around him. It’s one last chance, one last, desperate hope of a chance, because that’s what he is now, desperate, and despite everything, still clinging to his hope._

_He thinks only about how much he misses Kihyun, about how much he loves him, about how much he wants to be with him again. He focuses with everything in him, with every ounce of strength that he has left to offer._

_And it’s then, with Kihyun’s image filling his mind and Kihyun’s scent filling his body, that Hoseok slips into a kind of trance, deeper than he’s ever felt before, so deep that his brain can’t even quite comprehend it. It’s an out-of-body experience beyond just going into Kihyun’s consciousness from his own; it’s like he’s suddenly falling asleep into a dream within a dream, and within moments, he’s inside of Kihyun’s head once more, deeper than ever, clearer and stronger than ever._

_He blinks, looking out through Kihyun’s eyes at the world, rushed with relief, and he can see immediately that Kihyun is outside, beyond the gates of the village in what must be the surrounding forest. He must be just on the outer edges, and he’s relaxing, enjoying the view, the trees, the fresh air, the sunshine. It’s quiet, and it’s peaceful, and there’s no sign of trouble to be found anywhere, none at all. Hoseok feels warm inside, back in his own body on the very edges of his own consciousness, knowing that Kihyun is appreciating just how beautiful it all is. Simple, but beautiful. Essential. Freedom. Life._

_Kihyun is alive. He gets to be alive, truly, and Hoseok is so profoundly filled with joy down to his core and out beyond what he can possibly understand._

_He looks out and around after a few moments, never before having been able to hold the connection for this long, already well past ten minutes by the time that he even realizes what’s happened, and something about staying in Kihyun’s head for so long makes him feel...replenished. In fact, as the minutes go by, Hoseok finds himself feeling better and better, the connection going stronger and with it, awakening something deep inside of the both of them._

_The connection itself is different this time, no longer the barely-held connection that he’s felt in the past. It’s like now, something about being_ here _, something about being in the cabin where they had met, where they had fell in love, where they had mated and the connection itself was forged...something about it is making the connection stronger than ever before, and it’s making Hoseok himself stronger with it._

_It’s like he can feel it working its way through his cells, through his atoms, individually, one by one, taking over his mind and body second by second, little by little like he’s being simultaneously wrapped and filled with warmth and light, with their love for each other and their bond and everything else that’s come with it. And now, it’s like the two of them are so tightly and profoundly intertwined that Hoseok wonders if they’ll ever be able to let go, if he hasn’t permanently etched himself into Kihyun, if Kihyun hasn’t permanently etched himself into Hoseok._

_Hoseok holds it for as long as he possibly can, soaks in it, in this strange, amazing, indescribable feeling, and even as he finally begins to slip away, slip back into his own body like waking slowly from the deepest slumber of his life, it doesn’t feel like letting go, not like it’s felt all those other times._

_This time, it feels like he’s still holding on to a piece of Kihyun, like Kihyun is still right there with him even as Hoseok’s eyes flicker open and he stares up once more at the ceiling of the mating cabin, back in his own body where he belongs, lying on the bed, warm and numb to all of the pain from before, everything that had been aching and hurting vanished like it never was._

_He blinks once, twice, feeling wonderful inside and out, strangely so, and it’s then, as he slowly sits up on the edge of the bed, as he slowly realizes what just happened, that his eyes widen in shock. He sits frozen in place for several long moments, scared to even breathe for fear that it might be some kind of mistake, some kind of illusion. But he soon realizes that it’s no mistake, no illusion, and indeed, something truly incredible has happened._

_All of his injuries have been healed. Every last one of them gone, like they had never happened in the first place. In fact, he’s in better shape now than he can ever remember being in his life._

_He examines himself carefully, all over his arms, his legs, lifts his shirt to examine his chest and stomach, even checks his tail, and it’s all true. He’s been completely healed from head to toe, and even the scars and lasting hurts that he had had long before he had met Kihyun have disappeared. It’s like he’s been reborn again, like he’s been given a second chance at being alive._

_Hoseok just sits there in shock, unmoving for a long time, wondering how, just_ how _a few minutes connected to Kihyun made this possible, because he knows by instinct that that’s what has made possible this miracle. His connection to Kihyun, their connection to each other...it healed his body through some kind of energy, through some kind of_ magic _, and there’s really no other way to describe it. Just as the mated bond is capable of granting telepathy between mates, it seems that it’s also capable of healing abilities. And Hoseok can’t help but to wonder...why here? Why now?_

_As he ponders, he thinks that it might be because of the significance of being here, of being here in this particular mating cabin at this particular time. Being here is like being connected to Kihyun, or, it’s the closest he can get without actually being in Kihyun’s physical presence. After all, as he had already considered, this is where their connection was made, and where even all of these months later, its remnants still linger._

_Hoseok wonders what would happen if they were actually together, physically, in the real world, beyond just dreams and memories and sad, desperate thoughts. What kind of magic could their connection create if they were actually in each other’s arms again, not separated by hundreds of miles? They had already created life, of course, with the kittens growing in Kihyun’s belly, but even beyond that...Hoseok can only imagine the possibilities._

_It seems too incredible to believe, and Hoseok is amazed, as always, by the power of their bond, by the power of_ nature _and of all of the mysteries still waiting to be discovered in this world. This is what Kihyun had always talked about when they were together, how there was so much out there that they still didn’t know, about themselves, about the world, how there were so many possibilities, how with so much wonder and magnificence to be found in the universe, there was never truly a reason to give up hope. Not just hope for themselves, but hope for everyone, for the world still piecing itself back together, re-growing and forming something new after centuries and centuries of seemingly ceaseless violence and despair._

_Hoseok is still deep in thought, shaking from what this all means, this insane, incredible discovery that he’s made, and he’s wondering if he or anything will ever be the same again, when suddenly, a new scent fills his nose, and he perks up in alert, forgetting all of his philosophical and metaphysical ponderings in an instant, because he can smell someone approaching the cabins._

_He goes still, concentrating, and it’s then that he recognizes the scent. It’s familiar, and it’s one that almost immediately dismisses any thoughts of danger or alarm. He then scrambles quickly from the bed, positively radiating strength inside and out, and he quickly goes for the door, pulling it open to the warmth of the afternoon sun._

_The entire surrounding area is empty just as Hoseok had suspected, not another soul around within the range of Hoseok’s nose, and again, it’s strange, but Changkyun is here, approaching, making his way to Hoseok faster as soon as he spots him, and he’s looking just as exhausted as he was when Hoseok last saw him, clearly has had nothing close to Hoseok’s experience, unlikely to have even had a minute of rest. He’s panting as he approaches the cabin, clearly out of breath, and he doubles over and wheezes as he slows to a stop, Hoseok frowning and growing anxious at Changkyun’s clearly distressed state._

_And just like that, Hoseok remembers where he is, what’s been happening, and that it doesn’t matter what kind of amazing phenomenon he’s just discovered and experienced. Nothing has changed about his situation here, and they’re all still in danger, here in the compound and hundreds of miles away in the village. Kihyun is still out there and Hoseok needs to get to him as quickly as he can._

_Changkyun catches his breath for a few moments and then stands up straight, looking Hoseok up and down, and Hoseok knows that he’s wondering how Hoseok was able to heal so completely so quickly, but he also knows that there’s no time to explain it right now, because the very fact that Changkyun is here alone, the very fact that Hyunwoo is nowhere in sight, is a bad sign, doesn’t bode well at all for whatever has happened since they escaped from the prison and parted ways not even twenty-four hours ago._

_Hoseok curls his hands into fists on either side of him, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. “What’s happened?” he asks, his voice calm and steady._

_The thing is, now that Hoseok is healed, invigorated, he can feel his alpha pheromones starting to kick in as he senses inevitable trouble, can feel the inner strength that he’s always possessed restored and upgraded in ways that he can’t even understand, and all he knows is that he’s ready to do whatever needs to be done, to save them all, to save this place from itself and from everything that it’s become. The sooner the tyranny ends, the sooner that they’ll all be able to live their lives in peace, the sooner that Hoseok will finally be able to leave the compound for good to journey to where he belongs, to make his way to Kihyun on the other side of the forest._

_Changkyun doesn’t say anything for a long time, his eyes full of panic. He’s still breathing heavily even minutes later, and Hoseok can smell his worry thick and hot, can hear Changkyun’s heart pounding hard in his chest._

_“It’s starting. The uprising,” Changkyun says, voice hoarse. “There’s a mob going after the elders, and the alphas. They’re going to burn this place to the ground.”_

_Hoseok takes in what Changkyun is saying, his fists curled so tight that his fingers dig bruises into his palms. It should be sending him into a panic, because this is nothing short of a disaster._

_They never wanted the uprising to become violent, and an angry mob up against the elders and the alpha guards will only lead to a horrific clash, to a bloodbath where those on both sides will undoubtedly fight to the death. And Hoseok is so, so tired of it, of all the violence, of all the death._

_And of course, destroying the compound, burning it all down is not the answer either. This place may have grown into something ugly and twisted and terrible, but they’ll need its foundations, they’ll need each other and everything that they’ve built here if they’ll have any hope to start anew._

_Of course, they had known that this could happen, that fighting for their freedom wouldn’t be an easy fight, that not everyone saw a peaceful, nonviolent solution as the answer to their problems, and yet, faced with the possibility of an all-out civil war within the walls of the compound, Hoseok is much less afraid than he’d thought he would be. Instead, he feels calm. He feels focused._

_“It’s gotten out of control,” Changkyun says, sounding desperate. “We need to stop it. Hoseok, we need to stop it or hundreds will be killed.”_

_Hoseok looks into Changkyun’s eyes, his own eyes filled with fire, the kind of fire that doesn’t hurt, but that heals, that moves forward._

_“We’re going to stop it,” Hoseok says. “We’re going to save this place and everyone in it.”_

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are love ❤️


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